RyuTech
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There is a positive thing about me having no work right now. Its about having all the possibilities there are
I can choose freely and take my time to think about what i want.
[INFP] Please find my inner self!
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There is a positive thing about me having no work right now. Its about having all the possibilities there are
I can choose freely and take my time to think about what i want.
RyuTech
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I actually tried to do something like this some time ago. Ive build a community of commentators and created a stream commentating speedrun events from all over the globe in german. I used that base to create our own content and we grew large enough to start our own event benefiting the prevent cancer foundation collecting over 3000$ with it. I had to leave later on because of individual problems with the people working with us and i stepped back as their leader since i couldnt withstand the pressure anymore. But the Community still exists and does charitable work! Im glad about that.
Hi ...Do you have a place you are able to go and volunteer a few hours of your time each day? I ask because my impression is you are 'in your head too much'. You may need to get out and mingle with humanity. Meaning, if you could involve yourself as a volunteer and while there, be present. Focus on the people you are interacting with in the moment. Learn what bits if these interactions are You and what bits are adopted from them. Volunteering can open doors to opportunity you won't find elsewhere. By getting involved you may make friends, find job leads, get information and feedback that can help you in your journey of finding yourself. ...Just to name a few
You mentioned you feel as though you are 'floating'...I believe you need to find a foundation, a grounded sense of self. In doing so you will have a sound place from which to grow and excel as you move through your future. 28 is young, you still have much time to try on what works for you and rid yourself of what does not.
I have a tool I use, perhaps it can be if help to you (and have for a few years now) it's called a SWOT Analysis. It is an honest personal, professional, social, spiritual, soulful self analysis of my Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. It is an objective overview of me. I keep this in a running binder, adding and adjusting it as life creeps in with stress, obstacles, changes...or when I feel stagnation. I revisit it once a month and at times when I feel scattered. It helps with maintaining integration of my True self. It serves as a 'home base'. A diary if sorts. A record that when I need to, I can reread and say to myself 'just look at how far I've come'. (This serves as fuel to keep going on)
It pains me when I hear another say that they are relying on others to tell them about themself. My best suggestion is...find yourself for yourself, find love for who you are warts and all, accept this. I'm a firm believer that without love for yourself, you'll not be able to find love for another and, thus it will continue to feel false and surreal... big hugs to you B, you'll be wonderful at being! <3
You mentioned you feel as though you are 'floating'...I believe you need to find a foundation, a grounded sense of self. In doing so you will have a sound place from which to grow and excel as you move through your future. 28 is young, you still have much time to try on what works for you and rid yourself of what does not.
I have a tool I use, perhaps it can be if help to you (and have for a few years now) it's called a SWOT Analysis. It is an honest personal, professional, social, spiritual, soulful self analysis of my Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. It is an objective overview of me. I keep this in a running binder, adding and adjusting it as life creeps in with stress, obstacles, changes...or when I feel stagnation. I revisit it once a month and at times when I feel scattered. It helps with maintaining integration of my True self. It serves as a 'home base'. A diary if sorts. A record that when I need to, I can reread and say to myself 'just look at how far I've come'. (This serves as fuel to keep going on)
It pains me when I hear another say that they are relying on others to tell them about themself. My best suggestion is...find yourself for yourself, find love for who you are warts and all, accept this. I'm a firm believer that without love for yourself, you'll not be able to find love for another and, thus it will continue to feel false and surreal... big hugs to you B, you'll be wonderful at being! <3
RyuTech
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I dont have such a place to be at every day
And you're definitely right with beeing in my head too much! My Adjustement Disorder after the breakup was the cause for me becoming a shut in not leaving the house for long periods of time to not get hurt or stressed more. I will try to find some opportunities to get involved I will look that up! It definitely sounds interesting ill tell you how it went if you want
And yes the foundation is the thing i lack entirely.. Just something keeping me grounded would be nice A bit deeper i have a strong sense of my own values which i also try to protect. Im still working on increasing their weight just enough so i can consciously say im proud of myself. I can show it sometimes but i tend to fall into beeing vulnerable really easily as something distorts, confuses or makes me uncomfortable. Im aware at least that it is a problem and already engaged in beeing more confident when approaching people. (Sometimes i feel like acting though if i feel unsure). I dont have hate for myself though! I like who i am and wouldnt trade it for beeing someone else because i believe i can do a lot with my senses, emotions and knowledge i collected and worked on!
Thank you for your words i really hope to be something special and strong to have impact in this world
:sneakyhug:
Milktoast Bandit
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I read maybe half of the posts..im still waking up.
I could write an entire book about finding who our true selves are.
It starts when you forgive and accept the past and close that book to write yourself a new one.
Also, live for yourself. The world is infinite with possibilities and beauty. Once you figure out how to enjoy life and appreciate it alone, things will seem to start falling into place.
Be true to yourself and keep developping your individual self. Immerge yourself in your passions.
But especially, do not rely on someone to be everything for you. Happiness is a combination of things. Spiritual balance starts with you and yourself. Do not ever let anyone become your sole reason for existence. Love yourself and enjoy life. Love will compliment your life once you've figured it all out.
This can take days, weeks, months and even years...
It takes patience and a lot of work.
But...trust me...it's worth itxo
I don't have time to read or reply right now, but I agree with this. Forgiveness of your past mistakes, hurts, ignorance. Then acceptance of yourself as you are now. With that, it's like having a clean slate so to speak and you can start creating a life you want with acquired wisdom. It all starts with you. The unexamined life is not worth living...
I agree with the Bandit!---every day is a chance to begin anew... To twist his @Milktoast Bandit 's words a bit
Milktoast Bandit
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I agree with the Bandit!---every day is a chance to begin anew... To twist his @Milktoast Bandit 's words a bit
You can twist my nipples, but not my words.
RyuTech
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Exactly
Except that twisting nipples the night before might still have an aftermath on the next day Ill head to my bed for now brainstorming is draining. Feel free to pile up some stuff i can go through when i come back :3 Thanks for all posts so far im glad for getting so much support! <3 Love you all
Milktoast Bandit
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Yeah, you wake up with a boner...
RyuTech
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Benjamin Petry for all i care
I dont feel nervous about people knowing that.I dont own a credit card.
My digit code for my bank card has 4 numbers. To remember them i always say to myself 0815. Only one of those is actually a part of my code xD
My zip code starts with 65***
Well that was a weird attempt to show interest in me but at least there is some
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RyuTech
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This young man has usurped your identity. How does that make you feel?
OMG i got cloned!!
Merry Christmas xD
Ryso89
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Are you awake?
If you are, chances are you'll know without a doubt.
The true path to your inner self begins not with destroying the old, but with building the new, and it all must come from within. What kinds of things are you passionate about? What motivates you internally? What do you want in life, down to the very fine details, and what will you do to manifest your desires and dreams?
If you are, chances are you'll know without a doubt.
The true path to your inner self begins not with destroying the old, but with building the new, and it all must come from within. What kinds of things are you passionate about? What motivates you internally? What do you want in life, down to the very fine details, and what will you do to manifest your desires and dreams?
Littlelissa
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Just look and find what's inside. Do you really know yourself, or are you living with a stranger (i.e. yourself)?
I'm asking myself the same thing at the moment, and it turns out I don't know myself that well.
I mean not really, really.
I'm asking myself the same thing at the moment, and it turns out I don't know myself that well.
I mean not really, really.
RyuTech
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I am awake now (its 2pm here). But if you mean awake like in beeing able to realize everything around me without drifting away then no im asleep!
Ive never seen destroying anything as a solution. Thats what i told the Psychatrist who talked to me back in the suicidal clinic too. I don't want and will never try to destroy any part of myself (which is also memories and thoughts besides the physical part). as everything i have been through and experienced would be wasted as would be the time people spent with me. For me the only thinkable way is to accept all those things, collect them, understand them and rebuild everything into something better.
Im passionate about my believes and values. But im not passionate about material things as they are just the needs of my shell. I dont see anything as passionate if you dont want it with all your mind AND your feelings. For me that would be helping people on an emotional level and gaining true understanding of this world on an emotional base. I sometimes dive into something close to passionate when im distracting myself. Like passionately ignoring everything else and focus on one thing entirely. But i know thats a way of selfdefence and doesnt get me anywhere. (Just a stupid example would be grinding a computer game so much that you want to be competetive and know every detail about it.) My biggest Passion is trying to make people get along with each other even though their personalities are way too different and it looks like its impossible. And generally im Passionate about doing things people tell me i cant do them.
Confirmation. Internally its the confirmation i give to myself when i notice ive understand a part of the puzzle and gained a wider view onto things. More dominant is still the confirmation of the outside though as people acknowledge me, or people changed their life through something i helped them with and became happy. Also people giving up or restricting their view motivates me, that might sound strange but its a sign for me that theres still more i can do even if i dont see the answer yet. Thats my natural defiance i guess.
I want that my mum is smiling again, my dad becoming able to joke without depressive thoughts, my niece to become an awesome person beeing happy, my potential wife to be fullfilled without any worries, my children to grow up while maintaining a part of myself keeping me alive even after i pass away, my old school to go back to its roots to strengthen imagination and creativity instead of building pressure and teach how to function right, captialism to finally die as its not needed and only makes people suffer and in the end i just want to be happy with a wife children maybe a house with nature, having people around me that know my good points and rely on me as i can rely on them and most of all not having to worry about me beeing in the wrong place not working as intended and worrying about beeing able to buy food tomorrow. I want to live in a way i see fit and if selling goods to people that are overpriced, unhealthy and bad for them, while i have to treat them badly as i cant spend more than 10 seconds per person, is not a part of that -> Fuck me i dont care i wont ever be a wheel in that machine.
I have no idea to be honest.. i feel too weak to actually have an impact on what i see bad. Especially after this awesome year with wars, terror, dictatorship, elections and dramas.. Its an overwhelming cloud engulfing the whole world with negativity right now. You can randomly walk through the street and ask people "What are your dreams and hopes for the future?" And the only thing coming to their mind in 9 out of 10 cases is they want to stay healthy... So many people have given up doing something with their life it makes me sick.
I know myself with my good and bad sides. But sometimes im overwhelmed by the whole me trying to think of ways out which forces me to shut down and go back to selfdefence and ignoring. That on the top of it makes me think about myself as a miserable and unreliable person as im not able to maintain my point of view on the outside. There are a lot of other "me's" inside that wait for their act if needed (like the seductive type of me or the relentless one or the leader one or the productive one and many more) trying to confuse me but they all share the same core ideas about whats written above.
I wouldnt say i know myself entirely but i have an understanding of my value and my limits. The core problem are the limits that make me unable to do what i should do .-.
(After reading this it feels like im a different person than 2 days ago... weird?)
Milktoast Bandit
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I disagree with the destroying aspect... What needs to be destroyed are the fears, false and negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves that continually tell us we are defective, wrong, incomplete, unworthy, different, unacceptable and unlovable. Before we can begin to create our life from our true self, we must uncreate all that is false that blocks the true self. It is indeed an inner process...
Ryso89
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I disagree with the destroying aspect... What needs to be destroyed are the fears, false and negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves that continually tell us we are defective, wrong, incomplete, unworthy, different, unacceptable and unlovable. Before we can begin to create our life from our true self, we must uncreate all that is false that blocks the true self. It is indeed an inner process...
True, and I agree. Eventually, and ideally, we might all be able to vibrate into higher dimensions so that fear, negativity, hate, anger, sadness, depression will all disappear as a result of building the new and experiencing love, once it is known by the self, directed inward toward itself. This will also eradicate the ego, or in the very least it will diminish. It's all a massive and complex process, the consideration being that civilization has been systematically sculptured to facilitate these negative impressions of the world onto us in many subconscious ways that affect our lives daily, and the amount of inundation we experience is intentionally meant to keep us from reaching these higher planes of vibration. It's because of this that humanity is so easily controlled and manipulated, or has been. Once we are aware of that and similarly aware of the power of our own minds to sculpt and shape our universe as WE choose, only then can we resonate higher and with more energy within the fabric of the universe to manifest our potential, which is so unbelievably powerful. This is enlightenment.