[INFJ] Post Your Enneagram Tritype

[John K]

Lololol.

Well, it's a shame that they don't go into more detail on 1w2, instead focusing on 1w9, but this bit:



The core desire and core fear really hit me. Of course in my case the ultimate fear is to be anything like my father (corruption): the very thought fills me with the utmost dread and terror. In response, yes, the desire is moral perfection.

The issue is that, deep down, I don't know if I could be like him or not. I've never been a violent person, and I was very peaceful as a child, but I've definitely been driven into apocalyptic rages before when confronted with serious injustices, so I know I have a temper.

I can't even think of the prospect of me being domestically violent without bursting out into hot tears (like now), and so I have to wrap that fear in metaphors of moral perfection; of solidity, strength, and infinite determination. It's buried within a sphere of steel a mile thick, and I don't know what would happen if that steel core would ever crack: maybe an innocent child would step out, maybe a daemon.

It's a torture that I've lived with for my entire life; a constant presence. This is why I think that it's so important as to how you raise the son of a domestic abuser - I think my mum did a good job on the a whole, but once the son is identified with the father, then his sins can be impossible to extinguish.

Perhaps without this life experience I might be more clearly 5-ish, or 2-ish, or whatever it is; perhaps that might be what I would be like when at 'peace', but I'm not.

The steel core is at once a burden and a boon; its presence is constant, overwhelming and dominating. I don't know if I will ever feel redeemed (for something I haven't done), so yeah, that's why I'm 1w2 and can be no other.

I let this soak overnight Deleted member 16771 and this short clip says what I'd like to say far more vividly than I can - I know it isn't a perfect match, but it's close enough to the heart of the matter to really shine.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

I let this soak overnight Deleted member 16771 and this short clip says what I'd like to say far more vividly than I can - I know it isn't a perfect match, but it's close enough to the heart of the matter to really shine.

Thanks, John

 

[jn56uytrx]

I let this soak overnight Deleted member 16771 and this short clip says what I'd like to say far more vividly than I can - I know it isn't a perfect match, but it's close enough to the heart of the matter to really shine.

I was wrestling with whether to say something in response and now I can let it go because you said it so beautifully with this clip. I will just add my voice to this message instead and hope that it brings perspective, wisdom, and peace with self. Well said.

 

[Zola]

And btw I didn't want to derail the thread like that, but when I think about these things it just kind of takes over and I can't ignore it. There's also the craving for connection and understanding, which I suppose this place is built for.

I totally understand you, even though I never went through the horror of physical abuse that you went through. Whether you are an INFJ or an INTJ, you belong here, and I hope our words and feelings help.

My family was the perfect American ideal. Unfortunately, that included ridicule for a highly sensitive child. I was loved "despite my strangeness," in hope that some day I would change and become "normal."

I wanted so badly to be an INTJ, but I was lonely as such. So I tried to be extroverted, but the Se excess nearly got me killed. I could not figure out Fe, maybe due to my fear of rejection. Perhaps I felt devalued for my core identity at such an early age that I did not understand how it affected me. Does anybody think that makes sense?

Deleted member 16771, you are legions ahead of me on the development of your Fe, despite a much harsher background. I applaud your resilience, which was much greater than mine, and I congratulate you for getting this far in life in such good shape.

 

[Ginny]

I totally understand you, even though I never went through the horror of physical abuse that you went through. Whether you are an INFJ or an INTJ, you belong here, and I hope our words and feelings help.

My family was the perfect American ideal. Unfortunately, that included ridicule for a highly sensitive child. I was loved "despite my strangeness," in hope that some day I would change and become "normal."

I wanted so badly to be an INTJ, but I was lonely as such. So I tried to be extroverted, but the Se excess nearly got me killed. I could not figure out Fe, maybe due to my fear of rejection. Perhaps I felt devalued for my core identity at such an early age that I did not understand how it affected me. Does anybody think that makes sense?

Deleted member 16771, you are legions ahead of me on the development of your Fe, despite a much harsher background. I applaud your resilience, which was much greater than mine, and I congratulate you for getting this far in life in such good shape.

Fear can do a lot of things, even demonise the things that are a vital part of us. I understand how that feels.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

I totally understand you, even though I never went through the horror of physical abuse that you went through. Whether you are an INFJ or an INTJ, you belong here, and I hope our words and feelings help.

My family was the perfect American ideal. Unfortunately, that included ridicule for a highly sensitive child. I was loved "despite my strangeness," in hope that some day I would change and become "normal."

I wanted so badly to be an INTJ, but I was lonely as such. So I tried to be extroverted, but the Se excess nearly got me killed. I could not figure out Fe, maybe due to my fear of rejection. Perhaps I felt devalued for my core identity at such an early age that I did not understand how it affected me. Does anybody think that makes sense?

Deleted member 16771, you are legions ahead of me on the development of your Fe, despite a much harsher background. I applaud your resilience, which was much greater than mine, and I congratulate you for getting this far in life in such good shape.

Thanks, Zola.

I was crushingly lonely, too, probably for about ten years or a bit less. It seems like introverts are not built to be happy in this regard.

How do you mean 'figure out Fe'? Do you mean that you could not reconcile your need for connection with how that was devalued?

And btw I empathise with part of your upbringing. My family is essentially completely ESXJ, and so I was constantly lambasted for staying in the house all the time, and things like this.

How are you now? Are you still lonely?

Also, thank you for your compliment about my 'Fe', but I constantly struggle with it. When it appears, it's more like a corrective, and not necessarily an accurate one. On this forum, for example, it appears to tell me things like 'OK stop talking about yourself, now, people are sick of it', 'people think you are arrogant, shut up or explain yourself better' - my 'Fe' is just there to keep me wired with a sense of guilt, it seems, and to overreact in a rather blundering way when I think I've crossed a line. Despite the nice things I used to tell myself when I thought I was INFJ, my 'Fe' is probably not very good (but even that sounds incongruous).

 

[Ginny]

On this forum, for example, it appears to tell me things like 'OK stop talking about yourself, now, people are sick of it', 'people think you are arrogant, shut up or explain yourself better' - my 'Fe' is just there to keep me wired with a sense of guilt, it seems, and to overreact in a rather blundering way when I think I've crossed a line. Despite the nice things I used to tell myself when I thought I was INFJ, my 'Fe' is probably not very good (but even that sounds incongruous).

I experience the same thing, but I attribute it to something different. But I need to look into something to see if it could be Fe after all.

Spoiler: Edit

Now, I thought I saw in your astro list a Sun-Mercury conjunction and I was right. This would imply talkativity in general. Though why it would behave in that way... limitations and boundaries are usually expressed through Saturn...

 

[Deleted member 16771]

I experience the same thing, but I attribute it to something different. But I need to look into something to see if it could be Fe after all.

It makes sense to me that it could be INTJ Fe trickster, serving to make me somewhat afraid of how I'm coming across to others.

I notice that you are enneagram 1w2, too. Perhaps the core issue is that people of this disposition appreciate excellence and 'perfection' and hold to a very high standard in many things... and then something kicks in to tell us 'oh maybe I've gone too far? How will others take this? Do I sound supercilious? Pompous? Ridiculous?'

It's probably a healthy response, but it shouldn't stop anyone from expressing themselves with sincerity.

Someone very close to me recently said that this idea of my steel core' sounds cliche and just weird', and it was like a knife into my heart. Sometimes you try to show yourself to others, in all its childlike vulnerability, and your sincerity is repaid with pain.

But it's still worth it. I don't think it's wise to compromise your true self for the sake of others.

 

[Ginny]

It makes sense to me that it could be INTJ Fe trickster, serving to make me somewhat afraid of how I'm coming across to others.

I notice that you are enneagram 1w2, too. Perhaps the core issue is that people of this disposition appreciate excellence and 'perfection' and hold to a very high standard in many things... and then something kicks in to tell us 'oh maybe I've gone too far? How will others take this? Do I sound supercilious? Pompous? Ridiculous?'

It's probably a healthy response, but it shouldn't stop anyone from expressing themselves with sincerity.

Someone very close to me recently said that this idea of my steel core' sounds cliche and just weird', and it was like a knife into my heart. Sometimes you try to show yourself to others, in all its childlike vulnerability, and your sincerity is repaid with pain.

But it's still worth it. I don't think it's wise to compromise your true self for the sake of others.

I don't. I had both the Enneagram and Astrology in mind, and both options look promising, as in being the cause of talking much and especially revealing much about themselves in order to relate and be authentic as well as experiencing this inner high standard of rightness and morality.

Having only two examples is maybe not the best indicator, perhaps we need more to form a definite conclusion, as for now they remain inconclusive.

 

[Zola]

How do you mean 'figure out Fe'? Do you mean that you could not reconcile your need for connection with how that was devalued?

I couldn't figure out how to be liked or how to like others. I felt that I had no value. What could I offer? I assumed everything I thought or did was weird.

And btw I empathise with part of your upbringing. My family is essentially completely ESXJ, and so I was constantly lambasted for staying in the house all the time, and things like this.

I used to listen to music in my room for hours. I finally found a friend who invited me to her house where we would play albums all day. We didn't even need to talk. God, it was wonderful, but our friendship didn't last more than one summer, due to circumstances beyond our control.

How are you now? Are you still lonely?

No, I'm fine now, but it was a puzzle getting here. Like I said, I engaged in a lot of risky behavior, but I finally got my life straightened out. My relationships are good, I'm valued, I've developed my talents and interests -- which turned out not to be weird at all! That insecurity is still inside, but if I take things lightly, and I cut myself a break, I'm happy.

Also, thank you for your compliment about my 'Fe', but I constantly struggle with it. When it appears, it's more like a corrective,...to tell me things like 'OK stop talking about yourself, now, people are sick of it', 'people think you are arrogant, shut up or explain yourself better' - my 'Fe' is just there to keep me wired with a sense of guilt

Actually, that's how mine started. I was oblivious as to how I came across to people. It was a good thing to face that guilt and take corrective action. In the final analysis, it made me aware of how much people need ME to assuage THEIR insecurities. I never would have believed it to be true, but when I focus on others, I see how much they struggle, and I never knew that. Now I realize how cool I am. I wish I had known that all along. Why did I need someone to tell me?

 

[Wyote]

I assumed everything I thought or did was weird.

It is, but it's also cool

 

[John K]

It is, but it's also cool

@Deleted member 16771 @Zola @Ginny

It is cool to be weird in the Forum - that’s one of the roles of Ni, to act as the ‘inferior function’ of society’s dominant.

I don’t know how familiar you are with Jung’s psychology beyond type, but it is founded on the concept of archetype. These form our primal hard wired symbolic language though expressed in an infinite variety of ways unconsciously. They attract us fiercely and when we get close to them we often describe them in grand high flown language - this reflects the power they have over us, the profound meaning expressed in ways that are difficult to express. They can have a deep spiritual almost holy feel to them even though they are not religious but of this world. They have great power to transform our lives by shining light on our inner worlds.

A search on the internet I’m sure will find a lot of info, better than I can express it. But the high flown language you are using Deleted member 16771 is a perfectly natural way of talking about archetypes that have been activated in our lives. It’s not false pride to follow these stars as long as we do it with conscious discrimination and avoid over inflating our egos with it. I can’t see for a minute you are doing that.

 

[Wyote]

@Deleted member 16771 @Zola @Ginny

It is cool to be weird in the Forum - that’s one of the roles of Ni, to act as the ‘inferior function’ of society’s dominant.

I don’t know how familiar you are with Jung’s psychology beyond type, but it is founded on the concept of archetype. These form our primal hard wired symbolic language though expressed in an infinite variety of ways unconsciously. They attract us fiercely and when we get close to them we often describe them in grand high flown language - this reflects the power they have over us, the profound meaning expressed in ways that are difficult to express. They can have a deep spiritual almost holy feel to them even though they are not religious but of this world. They have great power to transform our lives by shining light on our inner worlds.

A search on the internet I’m sure will find a lot of info, better than I can express it. But the high flown language you are using Deleted member 16771 is a perfectly natural way of talking about archetypes that have been activated in our lives. It’s not false pride to follow these stars as long as we do it with conscious discrimination and avoid over inflating our egos with it. I can’t see for a minute you are doing that.

Linguistically dramatic? Me?

 

[John K]

Linguistically dramatic? Me?

Nah! It’s images and music - all the way down into the depths ...

 

[Wyote]

Nah! It’s images and music - all the way down into the depths ...

 

[John K]

 

[JennyDaniella]

Hahahahahaha!!!

Well look what you have done Wyote Coyote. I have now water and saliva on my shirt because I was sipping some nice icy water and lost it once I saw Nigel Thornberry’s face.

Smh.

 

[Wyote]

Hahahahahaha!!!

Well look what you have done Wyote Coyote. I have now water and saliva on my shirt because I was sipping some nice icy water and lost it once I saw Nigel Thornberry’s face.

Smh.

 

[Wyote]

The crossover of your dreams nightmares @JennyDaniella

 

[JennyDaniella]

The crossover of your dreams nightmares @JennyDaniella

Lolololololol! Dang it, you’re on a roll Wyote!