privilege

[Colt]

Poor widdle white hetereosexual men with nobodies to feels sorry for em except themselves.

Now YOU are being racist.

 

[barbad0s]

I am also curious to know how being white makes me more privileged than say Barak Obama. If me and the president walked into a store at the same time who do you think would get the special treatment?

This is quite stupid and it is difficult for me to imagine why you brought this up. What were you hoping to prove with this?

Let me help you: You would want to compare a black Colt and a white Colt, or a black president and a white president.

 

[Colt]

These "groupings" have been fought for, bled for, and died for; they are not yours to destroy nor take from them even when members of them become successful by your measures.

Who the hell said I wanted to destroy or take away anything.I never said that, whatever the hell that is is something you are projecting onto me. I said I wanted equality. True equality. And the way to achieve it is by condemning racist people when they are being racist. The more people who do this the more equal things will get.

 

[Colt]

This is quite stupid and it is difficult for me to imagine why you brought this up. What were you hoping to prove with this?

Let me help you: You would want to compare a black Colt and a white Colt, or a black president and a white president.

I brought it up to show that wealth is a far bigger factor in determining privilege than race is. A rich black man will be treated decidedly better in most circumstances than a poor white man. As far as my own personal skin color, tbh it doesn't matter much to me whether I am white, black, or green. Being white is one of the privileges I'd give up first if I had to give any up. To me being able bodied is a far bigger privilege as is being born in the USA. Then again that could be a symptom of where I live. I doubt I'd be treated much differently as a black man here than as a white man. I haven't been everywhere so I can't say that's how it would be elsewhere.

 

[barbad0s]

I brought it up to show that wealth is a far bigger factor in determining privilege than race is. A rich black man will be treated decidedly better in most circumstances than a poor white man. As far as my own personal skin color, tbh it doesn't matter much to me whether I am white, black, or green. Being white is one of the privileges I'd give up first if I had to give any up. To me being able bodied is a far bigger privilege as is being born in the USA. Then again that could be a symptom of where I live. I doubt I'd be treated much differently as a black man here than as a white man. I haven't been everywhere so I can't say that's how it would be elsewhere.

In many cases the difference may only be minor, but what many people experience is termed "microaggressions". It's little looks and comments and things like that people give you that can really add up and get to you. And living in a world where you don't have as many role models who do diverse things, a world where there are far fewer male politicians or men in the highest positions of your race or religion, it does something to you, maybe not always in obvious ways, but often in subtle ways that contribute to personal and social economic disparity in the grand scale of things. Maybe it's not the biggest deal in the lives of many people, but it most definitely exists and it does manifest as a much more serious problem in the lives of many others.

 

[Rcs6r]

What if the cashier girl recognized the sister-in-law, maybe checked her groceries before, but not the woman in the video and was in fact following store policy? What if the whole situation was just a big misunderstanding?

 

[Rcs6r]

Poor widdle white hetereosexual men with nobodies to feels sorry for em except themselves.

This comment makes you look bad, in a thread that's supposed to be about serious discussion.

 

[this is only temporary]

I actually think it is important to have groups. (I will attempt to explain.) Yes, equality is important and racism is wrong but we are not all alike, are we? In the challenges we face or the talent we have or the color of our skin or our culture, or anything. So...

Yes, people should have access to and join groups of every possible description. You're black? Have a group where you pool your resources and support your interests and talk about your issues and solve your problems. You're female? Make that feminist group, participate in it and help each other out. You're a white male? Yes, actually, you deserve your group too, where you can surround yourself with like-minded people and talk about things that concern you. You've got some kind of physical or mental disability? Yes, go ahead, join with others who are dealing with the same issue. You like harley fn davidsons? Well make a group for that. There can be rosacea support groups and groups for gay people and all religions and people who like growing venus flytraps. There is nothing inherently wrong with differentiating into groups and joining with individuals who are part of a subculture or interest you share.

Just don't limit yourself and don't keep others out.

What you don't do -- this is important -- is make your group be a way of committing gross human rights violations or murder or belittling others. Example: the crazy castration lady or the black guy who wants to start a race war. This is not cool.

And what would be even better if all these groups would actually, from time to time, welcome people who do not have that particular label/category/group/ into their meetings and conversations so they can listen to things from the other people's point of view (without fear of castration) and maybe learn something. That's the way you do it.

 

[Colt]

I actually think it is important to have groups. (I will attempt to explain.) Yes, equality is important and racism is wrong but we are not all alike, are we? In the challenges we face or the talent we have or the color of our skin or our culture, or anything. So...

Yes, people should have access to and join groups of every possible description. You're black? Have a group where you pool your resources and support your interests and talk about your issues and solve your problems. You're female? Make that feminist group, participate in it and help each other out. You're a white male? Yes, actually, you deserve your group too, where you can surround yourself with like-minded people and talk about things that concern you. You've got some kind of physical or mental disability? Yes, go ahead, join with others who are dealing with the same issue. You like harley fn davidsons? Well make a group for that. There can be rosacea support groups and groups for gay people and all religions and people who like growing venus flytraps. There is nothing inherently wrong with differentiating into groups and joining with individuals who are part of a subculture or interest you share.

Just don't limit yourself and don't keep others out.

What you don't do -- this is important -- is make your group be a way of committing gross human rights violations or murder or belittling others. Example: the crazy castration lady or the black guy who wants to start a race war. This is not cool.

And what would be even better if all these groups would actually, from time to time, welcome people who do not have that particular label/category/group/ into their meetings and conversations so they can listen to things from the other people's point of view (without fear of castration) and maybe learn something. That's the way you do it.

I mean I get what your saying here but an interest group is different than a racial group. I find it odd to assume that black people would all like the same things or have the same views, or white people would all like the same things or have the same views. It seems kinda weird to me. I want to hangout in groups that share my interests but I couldn't care less what those people's color or sex or sexual orientation is.

 

[this is only temporary]

Well, me too, but people do that all the time so there must be something in it? I wouldn't want to hang out only with people who were just like me. But if people want to do that (and they do seem to want to do that...) shouldn't it be okay for them to do that? Is it inherently wrong to separate into groups? People certainly do it a lot.

Where I live there are (mostly) black churches and (mostly) white churches and people voluntarily segregate themselves into whichever one they feel more comfortable in. I've been invited to both kinds and when I've been the minority in a black church it's been nothing but nice and very loving and with good music and all that, which to me, is the way things should be. You should welcome others into whatever group you are a part of, because it is fun and the right thing to do. People do naturally segregate themselves, and we do all have different interests and cultures and all that, so why fight it? Just don't make it a way of hurting others. If that makes sense.

And the idea is you could be a part of a lot of different groups. Like, the venus flytrap group would be ONLY people who like venus flytraps, regardless of race, gender, religion or other things. But then if you've got someone there who is constantly picking on venus flytrap enthusiasts it would ruin it.

I'm pretty sure I've stopped making sense now but I swear it sounded good in my head.

 

[Mary Shelley]

I mean I get what your saying here but an interest group is different than a racial group. I find it odd to assume that black people would all like the same things or have the same views, or white people would all like the same things or have the same views. It seems kinda weird to me. I want to hangout in groups that share my interests but I couldn't care less what those people's color or sex or sexual orientation is.

It's interesting that this is being posted on INFJs.com. Research is showing that MBTI is biologically determined. Definitely people of the same MBTI type do not necessarily share the same interests or views. (I do also realize that you do not yourself claim INFJ as your type.)

LGBT people often feel that they are not free to be themselves if they are in a space dominated by straight people. Women in lesbian bars are very different than women in straight bars but the main difference you would notice would not be attraction to women. What you would notice is how much wider the presentation and expression is there. In straight bars, women frequently either do conform to more narrow norms or fake it. Yes, it is nice that two people can dance, hold hands, or kiss, without feeling that they are either being condemned or objectified by onlookers but there is so much more freedom of self and expression going on than orientation alone could account for. This may be a byproduct of rather than by design of feminism but it is a positive one.

I don't want this to be about me, but I feel I need to clarify. As pansexual, I feel membership in this group but not exclusive membership to this group. In most of these spaces, I am still welcomed regardless of whether I'm in a relationship with, having sex with, or pursuing either of these things with a woman. That I fall outside of the norm and that I give equal respect to others who do welcome me to these spaces. In a way, this membership is baked into my identity and concept of self.

While I am not presumptuous enough to say to someone in a group I have never been in, "I know exactly how you feel," it's not difficult for me to imagine that there may be similarities. When you know that there is an undercurrent of racism, someone who belongs to that minority may also feel that they are limited in their presentation, behavior, or expression. I have for example known people who belonged to racial minorities who did not like to be seen eating foods that have been associated with their race and stigmatized by others.

As someone who does not belong to a racial minority, the only obstacle I have is trying to get Thai restaurants to believe me when I say I want spicy. Where I live, there is still blatantly apparent racism with our largest minorities. I have seen the smirks and glares but have not had them directed at me. I have never had to think that what items I pick up at the grocery store or what dish I order in a restaurant will be viewed negatively or give racists a feeling of validity in their stereotypes.

Dallas has much racial segregation by neighborhood. Parts of South Dallas are strongly populated by specific minorities. In these areas, there are restaurants that serve dishes that are difficult to impossible to find anywhere else. When I go there, they are always extremely polite to me with exceptional service--better than I would anticipate from a Dallas restaurant on average. Since this has been consistent, I have wondered what it is that might account for this and have a couple of ideas.

I am polite and respectful and I cannot know how representative this is of outsiders in general but it may be that this is simply more appreciated. They may also see me as brave because I have put myself in situations where one might fear racial backlash. I have wondered too if they may see it as an opportunity to dispel stereotypes by making me feel welcomed. Maybe they are economically minded and hope I will go tell people wherever I'm from how good the food is, how great the service was, and how it may be worth driving to and adventuring into a neighborhood they may normally avoid. If so, it obviously works not only with me but with others. These comments can be found by others on Yelp and Urbanspoon.

The atmosphere in these places is quite different. This relaxed state I described with the lesbian bars is present. You can feel the absence of racial tension. For many reasons, I acclimate from culture shock much faster than most people so in fewer visits I am able to get past the mutual suspicions of having an interloper present. It is only in these times and these places where I have experienced this utopian feeling of "people just being people" that conservatives so often imply already exists broadly or can only be ascertained through pretending to be "color blind." Cuisine can be such a great way to cross cultural barriers.

I have on occasion had the pleasure of introducing others to these new experiences in new cultures. After a friend came out, I went with her to her first few visits to a local lesbian bar. It is a good feeling to watch someone's eyes open. She talks about this freedom of expression but she also says things like, "They just seem so normal. How could you look at that couple so happy together and want to keep them apart?" She wishes she could show other people what she is only now seeing--acceptance.