Psychological manipulation/warfare used on a personal level

ENT8 said:
Mind you, I used this only when dealing with actual friends, or family... you know, people that essentially want a good relationship with me. If someone was dealing with a true sociopath of some sort, be them a sadist, a narcissist, pathological liar, or whatever form of sociopathy they have, I don't know how well this alone would hold up... HOWEVER, I believe it would still be very effective if one used it in conjection with a very clear sense of "personal, relational, and ethical boundaries"
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Well from my experience (unfortunately have had experience) If you can see someone is actually playing games with people and you confront them, and they are actually worse than you thought they will now see you as a liability and proceed to destroy you in any way possible. That's where the sniffing out vulnerability and playing others around you comes in, if they are seemingly sane enough to pass for normal and if you attribute them with scruples that they don't have they can do this. It's really repugnant.
 
I don't think that this is the kind of topic that encourages people to be honest with themselves. Who is going to admit to being manipulative? Considering everyone wants to see themselves as inherently good, I'm going to guess only a few cynics and some people with low self-esteem.

I don't do it consciously but I definitely present different sides of myself to different people. I've been told that I 'put up a front', but I've never really seen it that way. The one form of manipulation that I can't stand is the victim mentality… it seems like it's the easiest way to get what you want nowadays and it drives me insane for so many reasons. Kids who want better grades/more stuff, people who want money/attention, etc…
 
Apone said:
I don't think that this is the kind of topic that encourages people to be honest with themselves. Who is going to admit to being manipulative? Considering everyone wants to see themselves as inherently good, I'm going to guess only a few cynics and some people with low self-esteem.

I don't do it consciously...
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"To be honest with themselves", huh? I understand. How about "and to be honest about themselves"?
[MENTION=5090]Apone[/MENTION], the warfare was mentioned in conjunction with manipulation for a reason. A conscious, forbearing action being used trying to force a reaction is not the same as where you are heading, I don't think. All we might manipulate ourselves through life with subconscious, subtle mannerisms escaping our mind innocently with no harm to others. Is that where you are going?
 
Sadie said:
@just me , Don't forget your foul weather gear and EPIRB! The seas can be unpredictable. A good captain is prepared. An experienced captain knows exactly what to do, but then, you already know all of that. Ahhhh, so many analogies. Too much fun :becky:
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[MENTION=5224]Sadie[/MENTION], the birds are circling and floating in the ocean breeze. Something is definitely going on below. Too much fun, not enough time. Temperature change with a different contrast of colors on the surface: a rip with a color and temp change; have to go check it out. Almost everything I see in the ocean tells me of something most people do not see. There is not much difference when I see, hear, or even feel something and know a storm is brewing with someone or they want something. They smile to your face...
 
This could be a prime example of manipulation. A person that obviously has internet access asking a question to try and prompt an answer could be a type mind game. The game could be entirely to derail something for fun or maybe an experiment to see what kind of response one might get. After four pages, there must be enough information to research it on one's own or even represent a possibility to add something.....maybe inquire about a specific scenario.

We have discussed how to react or not react. We have discussed quite a bit and I personally appreciate all those that took of their time to hash this out. Thank you for your question, [MENTION=1451]Billy[/MENTION].
 
Reverie said:
Well from my experience (unfortunately have had experience) If you can see someone is actually playing games with people and you confront them, and they are actually worse than you thought they will now see you as a liability and proceed to destroy you in any way possible.
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Yes, good call, this is true. I've never personally had to deal with this, and some of that is just that I've been "lucky", but... also that when I "sniff this out" from people, I stay far away from them, and most anyone associated with them. In this way I suppose I make my own luck. If I were to start to see someone as having sociopathic or uncureably dysfunctional attributes, I would simply avoid them and anyone they associate with at all times. Not sure exactly what situation your describing...and it would be particularly difficult if such a person was a mother/father/brother/sister/etc... but still totally doable. And if someone that close in relation is that dysfunctional.... ALL THE MORE REASON to stay FAR away.

Personally, I don't really get the "but it's your mother! how do you do such-and-such when it involves your mom!" or whoever. If someone(s) is that bad... just get away from them and all they associate with. Groups of others, get a new job, new friends, only see the healthier family members...whatever... but get away. don't try to fix or change, that's not gonna ever work in these types of situations.

I guess the point of my "approach" that I listed would be to expose such a person for what they are.... then then, if they are actually pathological, then just make sure you work to eliminate all contact... direct AND indirect, as quickly and completely as possible. That's the strategy there, not to actually do something about it (because nothing can be done, save engaging them in a very high risk, high cost "game" of setting up the other to fail... and that's what your trying to avoid anyway)

-E
 
Sadie said:
[MENTION=5662]ENT8[/MENTION]

That is a very good strategy.

Edit: I can see using this strategy with children in the context of teaching appropriate behavior. I think it can be a very useful teaching aid when working with kids.
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I don't have kids, nor do I work with them, but I'd be curious to hear how it actually plays out. I've never thought to do such, but again, I have no involvement or interaction with kids save a few times a year at a family function of some sort.

-E
 
I have to say that I usually advoid that person be they anything other than stable fair and honest period. I really don't want to get into a fight-I'm not very good at fighting period because I become overly emotional and lose control.
 
Nitesteamer said:
This probably relates more to warfare; it happens every now and then. For the most part I don't engage the person at all. When I know that someone is trying to push my buttons in a group setting, in a cruel fashion, I will naturally exhibit a most vacant look, and completely ignore the comment. If I am being addressed directly that vacant look will be at the eyes, with my focal point about 100 yards behind the person.

I try to make 'em feel like they are having as much effect on me, as a moth is in a crosstown attic.
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I get lots of practice at this with my husband's mother.
 
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