Psychopath being an INFJ

[5ufvdee369jcdd]

That certainly NOT the fucking truth for ME. I don't give a goddamn about money. Social Status, or POWER. I'm sorry for being that defensive. I am sure you or another man feel the same way when I post my cynical shit.

Edit... Ugh... I'm so sorry. It's not personal, I like you dude.

My bad. Must have been a misunderstanding. I thought you were talking about incels and why they're so lonely. My response wasn't about you. A lot of lonely guys think they must have more power, wealth, or higher status to attract women. But the issue with character, there's truth to that. Thanks for bringing it up.

 

[SimVicious]

Perhaps you've displaced your empathic feelings onto the only creatures that seem truly innocent (animals), since your experience has proven to you that people are intrinsically evil/unjust.

How do you feel about small children below the age of seven? Can you imagine harm coming to a 5 year old child as callously and dispassionately as you describe feeling about harm coming to an adult?

Perform the mental exercise now. Try to imagine an adult dominating and punching a 5 year old child in the face, and report back to us your feelings upon imagining this.

I just did and this proves that i'm not a real psychopath, since if i see an adult dominating a 5 year old i would want to literally murder him without remorse. My sense of justice is high because i can feel the victims, regardless of them being human or animals, then i have the need to restore the justice.

How about we start to try to embrace what is great about you?

I really don't know what is great about me, and i have never thought about this.

 

[April]

I know sadness and i know pain, world is not sunshine and reinbows, ain't fair and is brutal, my key thoughts that pop up in my mind when it's hard are, i survived this long for a reason and that i'm strong and whatever bad life will bring, i can handle because i don't know how to give up or quit.

I know at some point deep down inside i'm broken and that cannot be fixed, but who really isn't? What if that's what makes me strong and different, INFJ fits my personality and if you're the same personality then i would like to talk with someone who could understand, my reasons to be here are not malicious.

When i was younger i was blind, i did not understand psychology or read people as i do today, those abilities came at the age of 18-20, it was like that, one day i don't notice anything from body language, no signs, no details, and then the very next day i start from nothing to full realization, reading, deducing, and then i learned more and more, and every new day i continue to learn more, i haven't always been so manipulative, it just started, i talked to my mother about this and she said that it was about time, she's also introverted and can read people, but not like i do, she says that comes from my grandmother and i don't really know if it's even possible, but mom says when my grandmother was younger she was like Patrick Jane but a women version.

Does it really matter where it came from? The thing is, what you can do is all your own whether it came from her or not. And I understand feeling like you can never be fixed. I can be pretty negative about life too. But I fight it on a daily basis. I fight the urge to say that people only say they love me when they don't have to give anything. People only say I am beautiful when they don't have to be with me. Thoughts like that can quickly bring me down, so its a daily fight. I don't trust people's words, and rarely trust people's actions. I am just skeptical because you're right. Life is not fair, and yes, it is brutal. I've seen what can be done and how people can be. Its whatever though, all I can do is try to control myself. I struggle, I fail, I fight, I lose. But sometimes, when I get back up, I am just a little bit stronger and I can take just a little bit more. One day, I hope to have a reason to believe I was wrong about life, or a reason to not care at all.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

I just did and this proves that i'm not a real psychopath, since if i see an adult dominating a 5 year old i would want to literally murder him without remorse. My sense of justice is high because i can feel the victims, regardless of them being human or animals, then i have the need to restore the justice.

OK, now you can explore why you link 'justice' with 'power', and the answer is likely to be in your childhood.

Having an enormous sense of power (manifested as violence) seems to be a kind of security to you, whereby the unjust are always punished for their actions, and the innocent (you) are always protected.

How do you relate to men? Did you have a fatherly presence growing up?

 

[April]

My bad. Must have been a misunderstanding. I thought you were talking about incels and why they're so lonely. My response wasn't about you. A lot of lonely guys think they must have more power, wealth, or higher status to attract women. But the issue with character, there's truth to that. Thanks for bringing it up.

I knew you weren't talking about me personally, I just get severely defensive when a man talks about having to be a certain way for a woman to love him because all she wants is..*insert checklist* because I have loved when people had nothing. I have loved when they were nobody. I have loved when they were unlovable. I have been the exception to that what which many men think. But never have I ever had someone willing to be the exception of the rule that men want hot women. I have seen even ugly men refuse to date ugly women. Thats all. <3 Thanks for taking my defensive speech so well. Again, I am sorry.

 

[April]

I don't actually think he was trying to bullshit it. I think he may actually be trying to understand why he doesn't feel/think/operate in the way most of us "expect" an INFJ to but psychopathy was just a really far reach. To me it sounds like he's got some emotional trauma to deal with.

Seconded.

 

[5ufvdee369jcdd]

I knew you weren't talking about me personally, I just get severely defensive when a man talks about having to be a certain way for a woman to love him because all she wants is..*insert checklist* because I have loved when people had nothing. I have loved when they were nobody. I have loved when they were unlovable. I have been the exception to that what which many men think. But never have I ever had someone willing to be the exception of the rule that men want hot women. I have seen even ugly men refuse to date ugly women. Thats all. <3 Thanks for taking my defensive speech so well. Again, I am sorry.

@April it's all good

 

[SimVicious]

OK, now you can explore why you link 'justice' with 'power', and the answer is likely to be in your childhood.

Having an enormous sense of power (manifested as violence) seems to be a kind of security to you, whereby the unjust are always punished for their actions, and the innocent (you) are always protected.

How do you relate to men? Did you have a fatherly presence growing up?

You're being very helpful, yeah i think i get where my sense of justice comes from.

How do i relate to men? what they do is what they get, i believe in Karma only and karma is what you do is what you get therefore if they are good with me, i'm good with them.
Respect is a must, if they don't provide it, they don't get it from me either, and if they fake it, i'll know.

As to fatherly presence, i don't really understand your question.

 

[April]

Yes, i'm an INFJ.



I've just read about BPD, i have some traits from there, but only few, since i don't have fear of being abandoned or alone because i need to be alone to recharge myself from other people, the traits i have are self harm and explosive anger, i'm in total control and it's real hard to get angry, it's rare and it hasn't been happening in years, but when it does it's like a devastating bomb that's harmful to me and others, i mean i don't even remember the outcomes of it when it happens, it's people who tell me what happened. You have been helpful, for that i appreciate your time.

I am very very vindictive and vigilant but only to those who deserve it and i'm in 50 / 50 control, for example when someone does wrong by my friends or me or is abusing animals and i see it, i have this feeling even in my hands like burning from within to restore the justice, so much ambition and strength, the very feeling of power and that the world feels like it's mine, it's real dark and bad, i'm happy it haven't been happening in a while, it used to when i was in my home country, the thrill and the revenge can be like an addiction, it was very hard to control myself from it, when it happens i feel like my skills are set to maximum and i first break em mentally then physically.

It's easy to loose it, once i was very close to the end line but i managed to stop myself from going further and i crushed my hands into the wall so that i don't become a murderer, i know it sounds bad but it's truth i'm an animal lover i have 2 cats and 1 dog and i have always lived with animals, they are sacred to me, no one can hurt animals in front of me and get away with it. I think sometimes being vigilant is nessecery, i can also live and breathe without being vigilant, that side comes only when nessecery.

About the universe, i do have faith in it, i'm a nature lover also, when i go to the woods i speak out loud and it feels like the universe is somehow getting my message, i say i want this i want that, and after days weeks or even months i get opportunities that if i take em successfully i can get what i wanted.




You might be close but i don't think you're like me, i don't think i'm a psychopath anymore, even though when i was in the navy for 2 years i've seen murders and it doesn't move me, my mind is bulletproof and i'm not paranoid, i agree that psychopathy is a scale, but impulsiveness i think is more of a sociopathic trait.

This reply is beautiful. The burning rage for justice that you have is very attractive to me, and lets me know that you are good, no matter how bad you are. Do you understand what I mean?

 

[April]

Perhaps you've displaced your empathic feelings onto the only creatures that seem truly innocent (animals), since your experience has proven to you that people are intrinsically evil/unjust.

How do you feel about small children below the age of seven? Can you imagine harm coming to a 5 year old child as callously and dispassionately as you describe feeling about harm coming to an adult?

Perform the mental exercise now. Try to imagine an adult dominating and punching a 5 year old child in the face, and report back to us your feelings upon imagining this.

That's an incredibly good piece of advice. I am interested to see the answer.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

You're being very helpful, yeah i think i get where my sense of justice comes from.

How do i relate to men? what they do is what they get, i believe in Karma only and karma is what you do is what you get therefore if they are good with me, i'm good with them.
Respect is a must, if they don't provide it, they don't get it from me either, and if they fake it, i'll know.

As to fatherly presence, i don't really understand your question.

Well, if you grew up with a (good) father, you're likely to have an intrinsic sense of safety and security because you felt it in those developmental years.

If you didn't grow up with a father, then you can overcompensate as an adult because the feeling is that the only source of safety and security is you.

Fatherless men can have a sense of 'being their own father' and have a very recognisable way of relating to society and archetypes more generally. For instance, they won't relate to 'sky father' godheads (e.g. the Christian God) in the same way as most people. Most people will feel comforted by this ultimate source of authority and security (because they remember what it was like to have a father growing up), whereas the fatherless man will instead identify himself with such a godhead. He is the only source of authority and security in his world - he is his own father and his own God.

 

[SimVicious]

This reply is beautiful. The burning rage for justice that you have is very attractive to me, and lets me know that you are good, no matter how bad you are. Do you understand what I mean?

Perfectly, i'm happy you get me.

That's an incredibly good piece of advice. I am interested to see the answer.

You know the answer.

Well, if you grew up with a (good) father, you're likely to have an intrinsic sense of safety and security because you felt it in those developmental years.

If you didn't grow up with a father, then you can overcompensate as an adult because the feeling is that the only source of safety and security is you.

Fatherless men can have a sense of 'being their own father' and have a very recognisable way of relating to society and archetypes more generally. For instance, they won't relate to 'sky father' godheads (e.g. the Christian God) in the same way as most people. Most people will feel comforted by this ultimate source of authority and security (because they remember what it was like to have a father growing up), whereas the fatherless man will instead identify himself with such a godhead. He is the only source of authority and security in his world - he is his own father and his own God.

I grew up without a father, and i never met him, i only know he's military and that he's alive and has other family and that karma doesn't give him another son.

I know that i'm going to make an amazing father, because i know what i've been through and my kid will not live what i have lived through, but will know all of it and will be tough and ready for whatever life could bring.

Yes i'm my own god.

 

[April]

You're being very helpful, yeah i think i get where my sense of justice comes from.

How do i relate to men? what they do is what they get, i believe in Karma only and karma is what you do is what you get therefore if they are good with me, i'm good with them.
Respect is a must, if they don't provide it, they don't get it from me either, and if they fake it, i'll know.

As to fatherly presence, i don't really understand your question.

I don't believe in Karma. In the sense that what goes around comes around. Because in my life, people get away with bad shit all the time. I do good shit and get trampled on. So karma is a lie to me. Life is what you make it, whether by good choices or bad choices. I don't trust that karma will be any sense of justice to anyone. I just choose to realize that life isn't fair, and I can't control anything but myself. However, I am not that good at controlling my emotions but I AM trying to learn. The only thing to do is keep trying.

But if you believe in karma, then that is actually a good thing, I guess.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

I grew up without a father, and i never met him, i only know he's military and that he's alive and has other family and that karma doesn't give him another son.

I know that i'm going to make an amazing father, because i know what i've been through and my kid will not live what i have lived through, but will know all of it and will be tough and ready for whatever life could bring.

Yes i'm my own god.

I thought as much.

I'm going to suggest that you are, in fact, INTJ, and if you wish to disidentify yourself from this label of 'psychopath' then your path of development is towards your tertiary Fi, which identifies with justice, principles, and formal codes of ethics.

How do you feel - at a gut level - about the words 'honour', 'dignity', 'justice' and 'nobility'?

This sense of rightness combined with power and authority?

 

[April]

I thought as much.

I'm going to suggest that you are, in fact, INTJ, and if you wish to disidentify yourself from this label of 'psychopath' then your path of development is towards your tertiary Fi, which identifies with justice, principles, and formal codes of ethics.

How do you feel - at a gut level - about the words 'honour', 'dignity', 'justice' and 'nobility'?

This sense of rightness combined with power and authority?

I know you really feel in your gut that you are INFJ @SimVicious but so did @Deleted member 16771 and well just... take what he says into consideration. There is not that much difference between an INTJ like Hos and an actual INFJ.... he knows his shit just saying.

 

[SimVicious]

I don't believe in Karma. In the sense that what goes around comes around. Because in my life, people get away with bad shit all the time. I do good shit and get trampled on. So karma is a lie to me. Life is what you make it, whether by good choices or bad choices. I don't trust that karma will be any sense of justice to anyone. I just choose to realize that life isn't fair, and I can't control anything but myself. However, I am not that good at controlling my emotions but I AM trying to learn. The only thing to do is keep trying.

But if you believe in karma, then that is actually a good thing, I guess.

Karma works in mysterious ways, have you ever heard the saying if you're digging a grave for someone else, it's you who first falls inside it.
For me Karma is working, sometimes in seconds, sometimes in years, and sometimes we have to make it work if we want it to.

Often i took it into my own hands and then it works brilliant, but often comes with a price that i'm always willing to pay.

I thought as much.

I'm going to suggest that you are, in fact, INTJ, and if you wish to disidentify yourself from this label of 'psychopath' then your path of development is towards your tertiary Fi, which identifies with justice, principles, and formal codes of ethics.

How do you feel - at a gut level - about the words 'honour', 'dignity', 'justice' and 'nobility'?

This sense of rightness combined with power and authority?

Yeah i'm more and more convinced that i'm not a psychopath, just an INFJ with a different view on the world and a darker side.

Honour is strength, dignity is character and they come together, justice and nobility is something that when i feel it, i must comply.
Sense of rightness and authority, on gut level, i even feel like the best job for me would be a judge, a jury and an executioner.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

Yeah i'm more and more convinced that i'm not a psychopath, just an INFJ with a different view on the world and a darker side.

Honour is strength, dignity is character and they come together, justice and nobility is something that when i feel it, i must comply.
Sense of rightness and authority, on gut level, i even feel like the best job for me would be a judge, a jury and an executioner.

OK, now you make sense to me.

I hope you can learn a lot more about yourself if you stick around here, Sim. Welcome to the forum.

 

[Obsidian]

I totally understand. I also test solidly as a psychopath and an INFJ. I've also been trying to be a Christian for a few years now, which is really quite difficult because I feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing, but thankfully, it reins in some of my more destructive behaviors. I understand people deeply, and I can comfort them, but at the end of the day it's all just manipulation and gathering information about how people behave so I can write characters more authentically. I can feel fond of someone as long as they entertain me somehow, but I seriously question if I am capable of love. I don't like to stick with things long term because everything is predictable, and if I'm not learning something new then why am I here?

I'm not doing anything maliciously, it's just my nature. People don't seem to understand that a lack of care is not hate, it's just...nothing. I'm generally well-liked and considered kind, to be otherwise creates drama and that's such a bore. Lately, I've been experimenting with honesty and accountability. I suppose I see why people value those things, but it's difficult to upkeep when I don't seem to posses a conscience. Yes, I've been to a doctor. Humorously, he advised me against starting a business or a cult.

I just feel both too aware and out of sync, and dropping the facade has proved disastrous in the past.

Do you find it worthwhile to keep flying under the radar?

 

[5ufvdee369jcdd]

I totally understand. I also test solidly as a psychopath and an INFJ. I've also been trying to be a Christian for a few years now, which is really quite difficult because I feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing, but thankfully, it reins in some of my more destructive behaviors. I understand people deeply, and I can comfort them, but at the end of the day it's all just manipulation and gathering information about how people behave so I can write characters more authentically. I can feel fond of someone as long as they entertain me somehow, but I seriously question if I am capable of love. I don't like to stick with things long term because everything is predictable, and if I'm not learning something new then why am I here?

I'm not doing anything maliciously, it's just my nature. People don't seem to understand that a lack of care is not hate, it's just...nothing. I'm generally well-liked and considered kind, to be otherwise creates drama and that's such a bore. Lately, I've been experimenting with honesty and accountability. I suppose I see why people value those things, but it's difficult to upkeep when I don't seem to posses a conscience. Yes, I've been to a doctor. Humorously, he advised me against starting a business or a cult.

I just feel both too aware and out of sync, and dropping the facade has proved disastrous in the past.

Do you find it worthwhile to keep flying under the radar?

Id say...keep writing, but live under the radar.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

I totally understand. I also test solidly as a psychopath and an INFJ. I've also been trying to be a Christian for a few years now, which is really quite difficult because I feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing, but thankfully, it reins in some of my more destructive behaviors. I understand people deeply, and I can comfort them, but at the end of the day it's all just manipulation and gathering information about how people behave so I can write characters more authentically. I can feel fond of someone as long as they entertain me somehow, but I seriously question if I am capable of love. I don't like to stick with things long term because everything is predictable, and if I'm not learning something new then why am I here?

I'm not doing anything maliciously, it's just my nature. People don't seem to understand that a lack of care is not hate, it's just...nothing. I'm generally well-liked and considered kind, to be otherwise creates drama and that's such a bore. Lately, I've been experimenting with honesty and accountability. I suppose I see why people value those things, but it's difficult to upkeep when I don't seem to posses a conscience. Yes, I've been to a doctor. Humorously, he advised me against starting a business or a cult.

I just feel both too aware and out of sync, and dropping the facade has proved disastrous in the past.

Do you find it worthwhile to keep flying under the radar?

Now this is a psychopath. Note the differences.