Question about being stagnant

[Eventhorizon]

Does anyone else ever feel as if they are simply going from point a to b? From birth to death? With nothing notable along the way?

I do and I dont have a clue what will or can change it. There are things I like but these things are just exactly that. Its not about bringing the world your name. I could spend my life bringing the world cheap clean energy but recognize that on my death bed while nice, it still did not bring what completed me.

I am looking for something and have no idea what it is. The closest I can come to trying to describe it I think is calling it understanding. Not necessarily of myself to other people though that is part of it. Its more of getting people to see the world in a way that to me is obvious. Getting people to recognize that all of humanities shortcomings are numerous but really are not that difficult to get around if you recognize them and work through or around them.

The biggest wall in my view is perception. A person who has never stepped foot out of a desert more than likely will feel uncomfortable in the deep forest. And yet, its all part of the same.

Point a to point b. There has to be more reason than that alone.

 

[sassafras]

I have days like that. The worst question I can ever ask myself is 'what's the point?' because the answer that usually boomerangs back is 'there isn't one.' On days when I'm stronger, I get a different answer: 'does there have to be a point?'

Think about it. Animals live and die without ever questioning themselves. They keep doing what they need to do to survive, passing on their genes and slowly crawling along on the scale of evolution to better adapt to their environment and circumstances. As humans, we're more highly evolved biological machines with our own evolution firmly in our hands because we're aware of what can make us grow vs what can destroy us and we can think of these things and plan in the long term to shape our environment, our own destiny in this lifetime. That responsibility is dizzying sometimes. We can choose to experience life and our own personal evolution any way we want to and then pass on whatever we've mastered in our lives via our genes and/or our contributions, continuing our evolution... Or, we can wink out into oblivion, the end. Our choice. Everything is entirely dependent on our will to do with what we have been given.

The brain is incredibly plastic. We can mold it to act, think and feel in whatever capacity we need it to, whichever way we direct it. If our goal in life is to achieve understanding, to find the right answer, the brain will evolve to allow you to sit there and ponder different perspectives until you realize there is an indefinite number of them and none of them are 'right' anyway. And then you realize we have to choose one of these indefinite perspectives and live with it knowing that there are many possibilities out there and fear that maybe we chose the wrong one for ourselves.

Personally, what I think we have got to make peace with the fact its not the perspective that matters, its a commitment to one. If you are trying to find one that makes the most sense to you based on which one you think is the 'correct, perfect, only unique one for you' in the face of all these choices, you will drive yourself nuts. You have to find some other way to satisfy your conditions for choosing a way to live your life and sticking to it. If you find meaning in everything, pick that which gets you excited. Or that which makes other people happy. Or that which interests you the most. Or just pick something because you like the way it looks on paper. It doesn't matter, so long as you choose. After a while, those other possibilities will fade away and only that vision will stay and guide you. You will no longer experience life on a meta-level, but on a deeply connected level wherein you are just yourself.

I know this is going to sound Polly-Anna-ish, but bear with me for a second here and seriously answer this question.

What got you excited as a kid? What are the things that made you happiest in this lifetime? Maybe those could be the clues as to what it is that you're looking for in life/what you find important, but have since forgotten because you got bogged down in trying to find it again.

 

[Radiantshadow]

I have days like that. The worst question I can ever ask myself is 'what's the point?' because the answer that usually boomerangs back is 'there isn't one.' On days when I'm stronger, I get a different answer: 'does there have to be a point?' Think about it. Animals live and die without ever questioning themselves. They keep doing what they need to do to survive, slowly crawling along on the scale of evolution. As humans, we're more highly evolved biological machines with our own evolution firmly in our hands because we're aware of what can make us grow vs what can destroy us and we can think of these things and plan in the long term to shape our own destiny. That responsibility is dizzying sometimes. We can choose to experience life and our own personal evolution any way we want to and then pass on whatever we've mastered in our lives via our genes and/or our contributions, continuing our evolution, or wink out into oblivion, the end. Our choice. Entirely dependent on our will.

The brain is incredibly plastic. We can mold it to act, think and feel in whatever capacity we need it to, whichever way we direct it. If our goal in life is to achieve understanding, to find the right answer, the brain will evolve to allow you to sit there and ponder different perspectives until you realize there is an indefinite number of them and none of them are 'right' anyway. And then you realize we have to choose one of these indefinite perspectives and live with it knowing that there are many possibilities out there and fear that maybe we chose the wrong one for ourselves.

Personally, what I think we have got to make peace with the fact its not the perspective that matters, its a commitment to one. If you are trying to find one that makes the most sense to you based on which one you think is the 'correct, perfect, only unique one for you' in the face of all these choices, you will drive yourself nuts. You have to find some other way to satisfy your conditions for choosing a way to live your life and sticking to it. If you find meaning in everything, pick that which gets you excited. Or that which makes other people happy. Or that which interests you the most. Or just pick something because you like the way it looks on paper. It doesn't matter, so long as you choose. After a while, those other possibilities will fade away and only that vision will stay and guide you. You will no longer experience life on a meta-level, but on a deeply connected level wherein you are just yourself.

I know this is going to sound Polly-Anna-ish, but bear with me for a second here and seriously answer this question.

What got you excited as a kid? What are the things that made you happiest in this lifetime? Maybe those could be the clues as to what it is that you're looking for in life/what you find important, but have since forgotten because you got bogged down in trying to find it again.

TDHT pretty much nailed it. We are all condemned to freedom. Take that which is most significant to you personally, it doesn't matter what it is, and carve out a niche with it. Ruminating, as easy as it can be sometimes to do, gets us nowhere fast.

If you haven't already tried it, you may find mindfulness meditation helpful in connecting more thoroughly with yourself. This link has some nifty stuff in it.

 

[Eventhorizon]

I have days like that. The worst question I can ever ask myself is 'what's the point?' because the answer that usually boomerangs back is 'there isn't one.' On days when I'm stronger, I get a different answer: 'does there have to be a point?' Think about it. Animals live and die without ever questioning themselves. They keep doing what they need to do to survive, slowly crawling along on the scale of evolution. As humans, we're more highly evolved biological machines with our own evolution firmly in our hands because we're aware of what can make us grow vs what can destroy us and we can think of these things and plan in the long term to shape our own destiny. That responsibility is dizzying sometimes. We can choose to experience life and our own personal evolution any way we want to and then pass on whatever we've mastered in our lives via our genes and/or our contributions, continuing our evolution, or wink out into oblivion, the end. Our choice. Entirely dependent on our will.

The brain is incredibly plastic. We can mold it to act, think and feel in whatever capacity we need it to, whichever way we direct it. If our goal in life is to achieve understanding, to find the right answer, the brain will evolve to allow you to sit there and ponder different perspectives until you realize there is an indefinite number of them and none of them are 'right' anyway. And then you realize we have to choose one of these indefinite perspectives and live with it knowing that there are many possibilities out there and fear that maybe we chose the wrong one for ourselves.

Personally, what I think we have got to make peace with the fact its not the perspective that matters, its a commitment to one. If you are trying to find one that makes the most sense to you based on which one you think is the 'correct, perfect, only unique one for you' in the face of all these choices, you will drive yourself nuts. You have to find some other way to satisfy your conditions for choosing a way to live your life and sticking to it. If you find meaning in everything, pick that which gets you excited. Or that which makes other people happy. Or that which interests you the most. Or just pick something because you like the way it looks on paper. It doesn't matter, so long as you choose. After a while, those other possibilities will fade away and only that vision will stay and guide you. You will no longer experience life on a meta-level, but on a deeply connected level wherein you are just yourself.

I know this is going to sound Polly-Anna-ish, but bear with me for a second here and seriously answer this question.

What got you excited as a kid? What are the things that made you happiest in this lifetime? Maybe those could be the clues as to what it is that you're looking for in life/what you find important, but have since forgotten because you got bogged down in trying to find it again.

Remarkable depth and insight. Apparently you have thought about this before.

 

[sassafras]

Remarkable depth and insight. Apparently you have thought about this before.

Well, I said as much

Thank you. I hope it helps!

 

[ThomasJ79]

I've been holed up in my house the last couple of days, trying to recover from a cold, so naturally I had to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I have one film left. It's been years since I've watched it and now it's a good time as the air has been getting much cooler and we've been spending more time indoors. Anyways, your question reminds me of the following excerpt from the Two Towers:

Aragorn: You told me once, this day would come
Arwen: This is not the end. It is the beginning. You must go with Frodo. That is your path

Aragorn: My path is hidden from me
Arwen: It is already laid before your feet, you cannot falter now

Aragorn: Arwen
Arwen: If you trust nothing else, trust this. Trust us

I think that it illustrates a wonderful point, that we are already on a path in life and we are where we are because of where we came from. You just have to follow the path that fits you and what you feel works for you. It doesn't mean to do whatever you want either, although wandering aimlessly may be part of your journey (mostly that just buys you more time or causes a delay of what you think you should be doing). At some point you will know that you're on the right path because your future connects with you past in such a way that you strongly feel the present.

Like the bird that builds the nest, we dream and find meaning in life: We must have a purpose.

 

[SpecialEdition]

Many of the times I have felt this way were because I felt very separate from other human beings. I saw the world in a different way and couldn't comprehend the ignorance of other human beings. What I failed to realize is that my viewpoint was unique to me because I was the only one who had the life experience to see it that way. The life experiences of other people would never perfectly mirror mine so for me to have the expectation that people see things or feel things my way was it's own kind of ignorance. I had to start letting it go even though I felt frustrated by it.

My expectations of other people were at least as high as the expectations that I had placed on myself which I had continuously failed to meet. Part of my disdain for others was not accepting their humanity and thus not accepting my own. I felt that certain external factors of my life ought to appear a certain way to other people so I could emulate what I thought success and stability should look like. Rather, I wanted to keep up the appearance of being successful and put together but the truth was that I had mental and physical health issues, I was a lazy fuck, I didn't take care of myself very well on a consistent basis and I could barely leave the house. I think I felt that if I were to keep up a facade that it would help me avoid criticism from other people and I could avoid taking responsibility for myself to actually make changes in my life.

During those times I did feel like I was going only from point A to B. I had nowhere else that I wanted to go which, in my depressed state of mind translated into nowhere TO go and reinforced the pointlessness of everything in my life. I dipped into a fairly deep existential crisis trying to sort out what it all meant. I was stagnant because I wanted to be.

I had to figure out what feeling fulfilled meant like and that meant trying out different things and spending time with different people. It meant getting out of my house once in a while just for the sake of doing it. It meant making lifestyle changes so that I physically and mentally felt better and stronger so that I could tackle all the shit I was trying not to acknowledge.

I sometimes get a sense of just going from point A to B but that's usually on my drive to work when I'd really rather being doing something else. And figuring out that I wanted to do something else (even if I wasn't sure what) has lead me to believe that I will sort out what that thing is eventually and that I might start formulating a plan to get out of my regular routine so that I can put that focus elsewhere.

Who knows. I don't have the answers.

 

[Trifoilum]

A constant state of mind for more than two, three years. Until now, by the way.

I fear being stagnant. And yet I felt like I stuck here, sticking myself HERE, feeling like everything is passing.
But at the same time, it's my own two feet. Driven by my mind.

I walked myself here.
For a long time (even until now, especially after failures) it was all I could think about of me.

And what @SpecialEdition talked here resonated.

I felt that certain external factors of my life ought to appear a certain way to other people so I could emulate what I thought success and stability should look like. Rather, I wanted to keep up the appearance of being successful and put together but the truth was that I had mental and physical health issues, I was a lazy fuck, I didn't take care of myself very well on a consistent basis and I could barely leave the house. I think I felt that if I were to keep up a facade that it would help me avoid criticism from other people and I could avoid taking responsibility for myself to actually make changes in my life.

During those times I did feel like I was going only from point A to B. I had nowhere else that I wanted to go which, in my depressed state of mind translated into nowhere TO go and reinforced the pointlessness of everything in my life. I dipped into a fairly deep existential crisis trying to sort out what it all meant. I was stagnant because I wanted to be.

So...

that meant trying out different things and spending time with different people. It meant getting out of my house once in a while just for the sake of doing it. It meant making lifestyle changes so that I physically and mentally felt better and stronger so that I could tackle all the shit I was trying not to acknowledge.

I guess this is it.