relationship compatibility with other types

[Eventhorizon]

I think maybe they used to but I've mostly outgrown that. I used to get despondent because I was so disappointed with people or with myself so that I would get into a negative cycle but only for short periods of time and not anymore, plus it was always in private so people didn't know. I'm French, I was brought to embrace being emotional. It was not considered a bad thing to be emotional so I accept them which means they control me less.

I have never indicated emotions are a bad thing. I only point out that they are like anything in that too much of anything isnt good. Too much thinking isnt good. Its only been recently I have found some measure of control. There used to be a time I couldnt shut my mind off.
If you feel happy with whatever balance you have managed to strike with your emotions thats great.

 

[nosferatu]

I really hit it off well with ESFP female friends. Some of my strongest friendships have been with female ESFP. I think it's because I have a tendency to over-think what I do think and feel both, when they don't need to rationalize it, they just sensed the answer from me off the bat and it was usually incisively accurate (without a changing answer). Plus the ones I know were so spontaneous and goofy, I have a tendency to act like a goof ball in social situations because I would think, what would those ESFP's have done to lighten the mood.

 

[La Sagna]

I have never indicated emotions are a bad thing. I only point out that they are like anything in that too much of anything isnt good. Too much thinking isnt good. Its only been recently I have found some measure of control. There used to be a time I couldnt shut my mind off.
If you feel happy with whatever balance you have managed to strike with your emotions thats great.

I have probably had as much issue with over-thinking as I have had with being overemotional. It's all about having a good balance

 

[Rcs6r]

Intjs, like intps and infps, take more time to get to know and connect with than extraverts like entp, enfp, or enfj and entj. There is slower period in establishing a friendship. They can be aloof and standoffish with people they arent familiar or comfortable with. I respect this, and with some paitence and time...this dynamic changes and they become in my opinion, absolutely brilliant friends, and there is quite a lot of depth, acceptance, personal growth, helpfulness, and respect in these friendships

Thank you.

 

[Quiet]

The lack of emotional sharing is keenly felt in all of those relationship types.

I think if one found an INTx who had actually had an awakening experience - the relationship might be totally encompassing - emotions and all. But...I've not found one...so don't really know.

As for the ESTJ - I don't think they're capable of developing "that bridge" with you. I once read on a personality profile the INFJ provides emotional and spritual guidance for the ESTJ. Like I said...we compliment one another.

Yes. It's the spiritual connection and understanding we crave. We are singularly alone right now at this time on our planet. I think it's by design as we have much work to do and un-awake mates create a drag on the momentum building right now. Almost all of the lightworkers I know who are doing the emotional clearing work from the planet are single.

I guess it doesnt matter what someone's mbti type is if they essentially have the same values and an 'awakening' experience.
Im not sure about the Estj....i have felt that spiritual awareness and spark with them....but im not sure how to nurture it...how to go about it...i think it is possible though. The best dynamic i have ever experienced in my life was with an estj woman i lived with for several months....that was one of the most stressful times in my life....but living with her was so easy and good, and she was incredibly supportive, loving, helpful in a way that made everything better. I dont think ive ever felt as appreciated and supported for who i am. Estjs (and some intps and istjs) are also the type ive interacted with that automaticaly understand wanting to do the right thing....just because....they never belittle me or think im naive for wanting to do things in the most conscientious and ethical way possible.

Now this will sound ridiculous....most estjs i know are pretty anti-drugs and what they refer to as 'friviolous' activity.....i think, but i dont know why...it is important for me to have a partner that recognises my appreciation for psychedelics, tantric sex, and occasional utterly spontaneous, random, and irrational behaviour....and furthermore is interested in whole heartedly partcipating too. Hmmm....it sounds unlikely....but who knows?

I am more centered in my core being-ness than ever in my life and the need for emotional sharing is not quite as driving for me as it used to be. I am learning to truly be alone.
Muir mentioned the INTx's are emotional vampires....and I admit I would essentially agree with that.

I really do enjoy being alone....i wonder if that is part of my problem in having a long term relationship. I have a lot of friends, and i think i get everything i need with them.....generally except sex...
i like having a partner, the intense intimate friendship and physical pleasure....although i do find relationships to be challenging, frustrating, draining, and independance destroying....of course maybe i simply havent met the right person yet

I dont agree about INTx's as emotional vampires. Intps in particular i find give me a lot of emotional space and breathing room and are the opposite of emotional vampire. It was my dear intp friend that called me every other day when my mum was dying, and brought over practical things to help. She doesnt hate me if i dont answer her calls or dont get back to her straight away. She was the one that helped me understand and come to terms with my spirituality. There is a remarkable paitence, acceptance, unjudgemental-ness, rationality and efficiecy with intps that i think means much more to me than the overwrought judgemental emotional support of strong Fe.
Although i think that the emotional connection is not there, this can be supplemented to an extent with the strong mental connection and the physical connection, as well as what i find to be intp's natural helpfulnes and kindness. I suppose the mental connection is more important than the emotional to me...but i would like both.

With intjs...having put a lot of thought into it.....i dont think it is something they do on purpose or naturally, just when they are unhealthy. In my opinion, intj is very similar to infj in most ways, the type i consider the most similar because of dominant ni and inferior se. A healthy intj and infj is pretty balanced with thinking and feeling. i do unfortunatley have some intj horror stories....but ive also have had the opposite experience...I know an intj childrens psychologist, an intj medical doctor, and a intj naturopath student that are wonderful....they are some of the most understanding and easiest people to talk to....maybe its the field that they are in or attracted to?

I wonder if the connection we crave is the fact we're subconsciously remembering what it WAS like when we were 5d entities.... I wonder if we intuitively know there is more...

I think so...like a source connection. I have felt that connection before with friends, even at times with my previous partners....but it wasnt sustainable long term because of the different values i think. Its something that can be temporarily induced using certain substances like lsd, mushies etc....or group meditation, music, shared intention and value etc.
I know that it is possible for everyone to live with constant awareness and appreciation of this Oneness connection....we already do...its just a matter of truly recognising it

I've had a couple of interesting days and interesting conversations. Ive been learning a lot from my daughter's dad (entp) and his partner (isfp). They are both very....unassuming and non judgemental. They take people for what they are in the moment. They find some of my constant analysis interesting....but also annoying and irrelevant, and possibly ireverent. I finally get why, and i want to make a conscious effort to take people more at face value in the moment, rather than analysing the constant ocean of data about them. Yesterday, i focused on staying in the moment when im interacting with people...and it was amazing!!!The divine spark was so clear and bright all day, even an unpleasant situation that occured felt more fascinating than upsetting.

I think we have to see that Light in everyone, keep recognising it, and it will reflect back brighter and brighter. In this, mbti type and personality analysis really is irelevant and potentianly distracting and worse than unhelpful. It forces us to focus on the ego rather than the person. I want to be able to still use it, but not let it hinder my vision of what and who people really are

 

[Gaze]

Intjs, like intps and infps, take more time to get to know and connect with than extraverts like entp, enfp, or enfj and entj. There is slower period in establishing a friendship. They can be aloof and standoffish with people they arent familiar or comfortable with. I respect this, and with some paitence and time...this dynamic changes and they become in my opinion, absolutely brilliant friends, and there is quite a lot of depth, acceptance, personal growth, helpfulness, and respect in these friendships

Thank you.

yep, yep, yep.

 

[Quiet]

I can vouch for the estp wanting to destroy the part of the INFJ which is different to them, that is my personal experience. He wanted to 'fix' me because he believed that he knew me better than I knew myself and that he could teach me to be a better person. It was infuriating.

Im really glad you posted this. That is how i felt too. But reading this now...i can see that i was doing that to him too, in my own way.

i think it was the most challenging, difficult, unhealthy, chaotic, confusing, misunderstood, explosive, hurtful, destructive, unhealthy...yet...fascinating, passionate, stripped, honest, powerful and transformative relationship ive ever had. It was like everything tuned to 'extreme', constantly colliding with someone yet not truly connecting. In hindsight, ive spent a lot of time analysing this relationship....it gave me a lot of material to work through lol...but i'll admit that ive enjoyed analysing it....like a bad trip almost....it is still good for learning and growth.

It forced me to work on my weaknesses and strengthen them, but also deligitimised and disregarded my strengths. Which is exaclty what i must have done to him advertantly. I guess it really is having a relationhip with your 'shadow'. Definately not a comfort zone relationship...i didnt imagine a relationship could be so uncomfortable. That someone could be that difficult to work with, that unreasonable, irresponsible, reckless, unsupportive, uncompassionate, aggresive, violent, emotional, erratic, irrational, cold, cruel. Or that 'fast', confident, logical, social, warm, friendly, thoughtful, intelligent, bright, fun ...so much powerful 'doing' energy, and ridiulously extraverted. It was good and enlightening to live that closely to the shadow, see myself when unhealthy acting like the worst of him, seeing him when unhealthy acting like the worst of me. absolutely fascinating. We pushed/forced eachother to behave in ways that felt unnatural and weakening, but were ultimately strengthening....although draining.

I cant explain or understand the closeness and kinship though. That was always there in its own way...just no true understanding.

in hindsight...i am very grateful for the experience....and am so happy with what it taught me and where it brought me....but i dont think i could live through it again...i could not survive that twice

i still remember the overwhelming peace when it was finally over...i had trouble leaving...i felt guilty...but enough was enough i moved on but wanted to remain friends.
And he prolonged it in the most painful way imaginable to me...called, sent me 10 page letters, emails, gifts, as well as showing up randomly, and a lot of abusive and hateful contact for 7 years after...very unfriendlike. He used me as his scapegoat for every problem that occured in his life...constantly told me that i had brought him low, had hurt him irreperably by breaking it off and moving on and not listening to him now. It was irrational and ridiculous....but it still really got to me at times. I hated thinking i had such a horrible effect on someone. But i know he was just using this as an excuse to not move on in his life and take responsibility for himself. He said 'love' and 'integrity' a lot, but thats not how love or integrity acts. I had to change my phone number and have spent a few sleepless nights literally in fear that he might burn my house down or make good on some of his threats. Thank fuck that its done now....it is such a relief...and i have forgiven him. Hope he has forgiven me and moved on

estps are great friends though. We get along so well in smaller doses

I don't know if this will lead to anything serious although it could but I met an ESFP, a very mature and a very smart one, who is the first person that I was ever able to open up with and share deep feelings and thoughts that I have never been able to share with anybody else. I was lucky to get to meet him one on one because if I had met him in a group of people then there is no way that I would have given him a second thought because he is so extroverted and loud and overly friendly that he would have totally scared me away. However, in a one on one situation, he is a totally different person, very caring and attentive, very wise and completely non-judgemental. The combination of the warmth and obvious caring and the non-judgement to me is comforting. Because my mother was an ESFP and her death 10 years ago has left a deep yearning for the warmth and love that she had for me I wonder sometimes if that is what drew me to this person.

Thats wonderful to hear. Yes people are so different one on one than in a group.
I have a couple of esfp friends, and a former business partner. There is much to like, especaily when they are healthy and mature. I find esfps are good people to work with, surprisingly practical, good natured, warm, kind, fun, easy going, understanding.
When immature...there is an aversion and fear of conflict that creates a crazy amount of conflict as a result, and an inability to deal with negativity which results in lots of stored up repression that manifests as other symptoms later. I find that some esfps can be remarkably un-self aware, despite having Fi...although...i had an esfp friend i studied psychology with, and she had honed her self awareness to a point that i was often in awe of her insight and wisdom.
I sometimes have trouble communicating with esfps...i have to watch my language and interaction style...but this may not be a bad thing at all
Also, it seems to me that we both respect and like each other....yet find each others ways inefficient and confusing sometimes

It is great to hear about this experience, and all the best with everything to you

 

[Quiet]

I have never indicated emotions are a bad thing. I only point out that they are like anything in that too much of anything isnt good. Too much thinking isnt good. Its only been recently I have found some measure of control. There used to be a time I couldnt shut my mind off.
If you feel happy with whatever balance you have managed to strike with your emotions thats great.

Personally, i have found emotions overwhelming and hard to deal with, my own and others. Especially negative emotion. Sometimes i have to simply leave a situation if there is too much emotion...i feel like i cant stand it

I dont normally make decisions based on my emotions. I make decisions according to what i think, and what my intuition and my heart is telling me

To be honest...i often dont know what im feeling....and thinking about it too much makes me feel drained. I feel that this is a deficiency i have, that i am working on to correct, because it makes me feel like a half person rather than a whole one. For a long time i was scared of my emotions, and would repress or control them immeditately, and this had a very negative effect on me, as well as causing occasional emotional outbursts. I didnt like to express pain or anger. I dont like to feel those emotions, they seem overwhelming. I didnt like to share what i was feeling. I felt it was unfair when other people made me deal with their emotions. I just wanted everyone to stay calm and rational. I still think that acting on emotion is impulsive and irrational. But we can alllow emotions to flow without acting on them. Emotions are different from feelings, and accepting our emotions helps us connect and understand to our feelings. I realised that if i was afraid of my emotion, of my pain, of my experience, it meant that i was afraid of myself. I try to let them come up without judging them now, knowing that they will pass through and self resolve. I actually value them now, as i recognise them as my body's attempt to communicate what i am feeling subconsciously and consciously, how my thoughts, beliefs, environment, and other people are effecting me. Emotions really are a compass. I still think they are best dealt with in private....but i understand that sharing can also help and leave one feeling lighter. Thats why i like to write so much, im sharing,,,,but i dont feel like im throwing my emotions at anyone and forcing them to deal with them.

However, there is another side to emotion that i really embrace....for example if i see something i like i will immediately express it, i smile, laugh, and cry a lot....in everyday conversations, when im thinking by myself, when i watch movies etc. i have a permanant smirk and smugness and laugh out loud at the most inappropriate times because of something that has just occured to me. I laughed at my mums funeral because someone next to me was singing in a ridiculous voice and then they burped. I find this side of emotions natural and easy.

I couldnt stop empathising if i tried. Other people's emotions, especaily one on one are very powerful and real, even tangible. Working with people in counseling and with naturopathy has been extremely hard for me and something i dont want to do anymore. Empathy and compassion is beautiful, but it cuts like a sword, unless you apply it to yourself as well. Otherwise it hurts. I spent hours throwing up after someone shared a horrific experience with me. I even accidentaly threw up on them! It was horrible, i could smell their experience and see it in detail, how they felt, how the other people felt....it gave me nightmares. When i worked with people with a psychological disorder, i would feel it. One one occasion i spend a day helping a women that had full blown schizophrenia, and i literally felt it...so chaotic..confusing, disturbing,,.yet strangely good and something to lose myself into....it took me 2 days of total confusion and inability to think to recover, and everytime i saw her after...it started again and i had to work very hard at supressing it.

Because of this, i find it easier to be around people that are calm, light hearted, humerous, intelligent, rational, kind, gentle, logical, self aware. Otherwise i feel like im stuck on someone else's rollercoaster and it is extremely draining and annoying and tedious. I find many people to be utterly irrational, unreasonable, and inpractical...and i think its because of the half assed approach thing....thinking without feeling, feeling without thinking. We do both naturally, and ideally the heart and mind are alligned and intergrated.

I have poor personal boundaries and find it takes continous effort to prevent people from effecting me. I see this as a weakness and a strength. And i dont like shielding myself, because i feel that is unkind and isolating. So i try to be more careful in who i spend time with and which envrionments i visit. And being alone is often the best medicine, or sometimes with another person that simply lets me be, rather than hassling me or making me talk about something when i really dont want to

 

[muir]

Good point about infjs controlling emotions but... do you find that out of the spot light they have a tendency to control you more than you like?

As for muir he put words in my mouth AGAIN. Regardless of your perspective right or wrong my issue is saying I said things that I never did.

I'm not putting words in your mouth...you are typing them and then pretending you havent said them but they are right there in black and white for people to read

In this latest post above you are saying now that INFJs are controlled by their emotions 'out of the spotlight'

Had it occured to you that the reason the world is full of death and destruction might be that there are not enough people who can FEEL?

I have never indicated emotions are a bad thing. I only point out that they are like anything in that too much of anything isnt good. Too much thinking isnt good. Its only been recently I have found some measure of control. There used to be a time I couldnt shut my mind off.
If you feel happy with whatever balance you have managed to strike with your emotions thats great.

The problem with the world is that there are too many people who cannot empathise with others

 

[muir]

To make a decision based on someone else's relationship experience is a shallow way to approach a relationship. No one is advising anyone to do anything. We are just discussing our experience.
There's nothing wrong with getting to know someone and deciding that it didnt work. Not everyone is going to find a fulfilling relationship with the first person they try with, nor do they have to




i have lurked the intj forum in the past and decided not to join it for a number of reasons. I value my offline time far more than my online time.

i do not judge people based on my online experience. I dont assume i know the depth and complexity of any one i've met online. In my experience people behave differently online than they do in person. In my opinion, everyone is better in person, one on one. I do have Intj and Entj friends and they mean a lot to me.
Intjs, like intps and infps, take more time to get to know and connect with than extraverts like entp, enfp, or enfj and entj. There is slower period in establishing a friendship. They can be aloof and standoffish with people they arent familiar or comfortable with. I respect this, and with some paitence and time...this dynamic changes and they become in my opinion, absolutely brilliant friends, and there is quite a lot of depth, acceptance, personal growth, helpfulness, and respect in these friendships

I dare say that you are probably much more personable, polite, reasonable, empathetic, and overall kinder than you are online. if i honestly thought that you were the way you appear on this forum, i would ignore you. However, without knowing you in person....i give you the benefit of the doubt and i understand that you are more complex than any arbitary and pointless online persona, and i think of you as a person beyond the way you post.

Also, i would not judge other infjs based on your behaviour. As an infj, there is as much difference between us as similarities, as there is with all the infjs on this forum, and that i have known personally in real life.
i would also find it shallow and uncritical if someone read your posts and observed the way you interact online, and use it to make a judgement about me

Sorry but to me that sounds like a load of waffle

From your posts I see you as part of the sex and the city generation who trade their men in like shoes and like to discuss them as if they are things to collect

You're also a statist and the state is being revealed to be peadophilic murderers so i have very little respect for your uninformed opinion of things

 

[Quiet]

Sorry but to me that sounds like a load of waffle

From your posts I see you as part of the sex and the city generation who trade their men in like shoes and like to discuss them as if they are things to collect

You're also a statist and the state is being revealed to be peadophilic murderers so i have very little respect for your uninformed opinion of things

lol...totally true...Im an uninformed statist pedophile murderer (or perhaps im only pro pedophile murderer) that likes to collect men like hats, trade them in when they are worn in, and discuss them like shoes.

who told you!!!! Cover blown fuckdammit

That is fucking brilliant...one of the most novel ways ive been described...i think you've literally made my day. I'm looking foward to telling my friends

cheers

 

[muir]

lol...totally true...Im an uninformed statist pedophile murderer (or perhaps im only pro pedophile murderer) that likes to collect men like hats, trade them in when they are worn in, and discuss them like shoes.

who told you!!!! Cover blown fuckdammit

That is fucking brilliant...one of the most novel ways ive been described...i think you've literally made my day. I'm looking foward to telling my friends

cheers

Youre most welcome

if you support the state you are supporting peadophilic murders....and i want you to know that

 

[Scientia]

Why do think he has changed from enfp to entp?

The Entp and i knew had a long term relationship in the past, and we are still very close....we were always had a bit of brother and sister dynamic...i understand that sounds gross and incestous lol. I have had an instant friendship with every entp ive met, i really like entps and think they are natural friends with infj...just the right maount of complement and contrast, but there is always something brother/sister and overly familar and platonic about it for me in terms of a romantic relationship.

Many things have changed in our relationship but our friendship is still very strong. I can see elements of the brother/sister vibe you mentioned. Overall, I am not sure why he changed but he did.

 

[Quiet]

Youre most welcome

if you support the state you are supporting peadophilic murders....and i want you to know that

Totally...im glad you are here to tell me these things. otherwise id be fucked up and wouldnt even know!

Now, do you have anything relavant to discuss that is pertinent to this tread? Type racism and hatred is not helpful to this thread. And just because you might have had a bad experience in a relationship with a type, doesnt mean that there is something 'wrong' with that type in general. Maybe i should have clarified it in the op, but i kinda assumed it was a given. ELE!!!!

Otherwise, can you please stop trolling this thread? Im sure there are other threads more relavant for the this type of discussion. Please dont wreck this one

 

[muir]

Totally...im glad you are here to tell me these things. otherwise id be fucked up and wouldnt even know!

Now, do you have anything relavant to discuss that is pertinent to this tread? Type racism and hatred is not helpful to this thread. And just because you might have had a bad experience in a relationship with a type, doesnt mean that there is something 'wrong' with that type in general. Maybe i should have clarified it in the op, but i kinda assumed it was a given. ELE!!!!

Otherwise, can you please stop trolling this thread? Im sure there are other threads more relavant for the this type of discussion. Please dont wreck this one

Its not just me that has had a problem with that type

Listen to what people are telling you all around the forum (and even in this thread!)

As for you...how did your relationship with that type end?

Carry on with your post marxist feminist relationship collection stories, bon voyage!

 

[SpecialEdition]

I don't really know my type, but lately have been typing as an ESTJ or ESTP. I type a lot as INTJ and sometimes ENTJ. Who knows. Anyway...

I was with an INTJ for roughly around 10 months. Intellectually and philosophically we were exceptionally compatible. We seemed to gravitate towards each other during a time when we were both pretty deep into an existential crisis and at huge turning points in our lives. Naturally the "relationship" didn't last and ended very abruptly. I owe a lot of where I am in my life currently to him. I catapulted forward, but it seems he stayed the same. We no longer speak even though everything ended on good terms. Our time together was just over, and that was it. I believe we loved each other, but in a sort of disconnected and stunted way. I gave myself to him in a way that I'd never been able to with anyone else, and he never mistreated me. He told me he wanted to see inside my soul and I trusted him with everything that I had... All of the ugly and fucked up parts of my subconsciousness. I had complete and total freedom to be a monstrous train wreck and it was extremely therapeutic as he just received without judgement. He never tried to advise. He never projected. He never tried to "Fix." I was the same for him. Looking back, the interaction was so powerful and really quite beautiful but I feel nothing about it now. We could not have carried each other forward. It was very, VERY intense every second we were together, but it burned out. I have no regrets and think of it fondly.

I was with an ENFJ (I believe) who nearly ruined me. Never before have I been so gaslighted, manipulated, abused and so taken in to someone who was so supremely fucked up. That relationship was a nightmare that I walked into with my eyes open and yet somehow could not get away from it. It was built on a foundation of lies. This is a relationship I look back on which makes me feel... sick in a way. I have moved on from it completely now and have healed, but I feel like the abuse I went through still pops up here and there, but it no longer destroys me or interferes with my current relationship. I learned a lot about myself, how I handle conflict and tragedy and what I am made of. I think this relationship left a dark mark on me in a way I can't explain. I've never been with someone more selfish in my life, who would go to the ends of the Earth for everyone in their life and advertise it, and then shit all over me. It tore down my self worth in a way I am still recovering from. I would never date another ENFJ. I've seen too many of them and have experienced the WORST of them. Nothing against regular, healthy ENFJs who I can have as friends and who I can love and adore, but the emotional turmoil of being with one that is unhealthy is just something I'd never put myself through again.

Currently I am with an... I don't know. He's typed himself as an INTJ, an ENTP, an ESTJ and an ESTP. He did one recently where his Actualized Type and Preferred Type came out as ESTJ, so we'll go with that. He is perfect. He brings a sense of peace to my life. I can be myself with him. Not in the sort of train wreck over the top way I was with the INTJ, but in the sense that I can be me, but am more conscious of my behaviour and my feelings. I am in a state of evolution with him where I can feel what I need to feel and he is there for me but he will not indulge me if I am being ridiculous. He supports my personal growth, he listens when I need it and is there when I need it. I think of him when I am struggling and I feel charged up and more prepared to reflect on myself and solve my own issues. I am motivated to be stronger emotionally and physically and know when I need to ask for help. He brings balance to my life in a way that I've never had before. I don't feel indulged, I feel nurtured. Our compatibility in certain areas of our lives is VERY low but for foundational values and beliefs are very on point and well matched. This is the most fulfilling and stable relationship I've ever had.

 

[ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc]

I was with an INTJ for roughly around 10 months. Intellectually and philosophically we were exceptionally compatible. We seemed to gravitate towards each other during a time when we were both pretty deep into an existential crisis and at huge turning points in our lives. Naturally the "relationship" didn't last and ended very abruptly. I owe a lot of where I am in my life currently to him.

Prediction acheived

 

[SpecialEdition]

Prediction acheived

What do you mean?

 

[ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc]

What do you mean?

I keep track of your life with notes and photos on the wall of a room dedicated to you, trying to figure you out.

 

[SpecialEdition]

I keep track of your life with notes and photos on the wall of a room dedicated to you, trying to figure you out.

Oh. What have you deduced so far?