Say something nice about people you disagree with politically

Flavus Aquila said:
I don't mind if none of you can be nice to people who are "other".... just don't be surprised when people notice and comment that it's bs hypocrisy when you expect others to do it.
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Flavus Aquila said:
You forgot to say that most of them have the sense of touch... that's a good thing to have.... so surely that's a nice thing to say.
*That's not even a compliment, it's nasty sarcasm*

.....

I can't believe, that me: the INTJ sociopath, is surprised by how devoid of kindness you INFJs are.

If you're American (or have an interest), you can't say you're not a self-loving narcissist unless you can at lest say something genuinely nice about someone who isn't part of your echo chamber: a Trump, or Clinton voter. (I voted for neither and am not an American). You all are kind of uber petty and showing towering insecurity if you can't say something remotely nice+genuine.
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If you're an intj sociopath how do we know your words of kindness are just that and not some hollow affirmation you threw together within the guidelines of the OP? Does that even matter? I can't speak for the other infjs on here but something like this thread can be difficult. It's a really good idea and puts the kindness of its creator's heart on full display, but for me, asking me to say something nice about someone I disagree with is like that time I got in a fight with my sister and my dad separated us and told me to say something nice to her or get spanked. So of course I said something nice. I said, "Well, she has nice tits." Unfortunately, I got in more trouble that day, but my point is, some of us may be struggling with the authenticity of such compliments. It's not that we don't care for or appreciate others, it's that humor and deflection are a lot easier than thinking of and saying things we may not mean in the moment. It's kind of like being put on the spot. (Sort of, except everyone on this thread chose to meander on in...)

For instance, I disagree with @Eventhorizon on just a smidgen over 100% of all things political. (That's not true, it's probably more like 98.84%) A couple of months ago he had a medical procedure and I wished him well and I meant it, because I genuinely care about him as a person and have enjoyed a few lighthearted exchanges with him. However, once I got in this thread, I only said his typos were cute. Sure, it may not really mean anything, but at least I didn't say, "@Eventhorizon, you fucking retard! "Why you gotta fat finger every other word!? You're making Republicans look bad!"

By this point in my post you may have realized that I'm just rambling. There's a reason for it. I'm building authenticity. In my head as I'm typing this, I'm imagining a conversation with a giant murderous bird. Without this conversation, I'm inclined to say, "Wow Flavus Flav, you sure have some sexy talons!" Instead, now that I've created a "genuine" moment with you I am able to say:

Flavus Flav, when I first joined this forum, I thought you were the most uptight, conceited, hate peddling, scum fucking troll I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing in my life. (That's not true, my sister is...the one with the nice tits) But I don't think that way anymore. While I don't agree with your positions on many issues, I appreciate how you present yourself and your ideals in a way that often leads to open discussion on sensitive issues. You make a serious attempt to keep threads on topic and moving in a direction that promotes growth and understanding despite the valiant attempts of some assholes to derail.(not me) You present yourself with a maturity and intelligence that is quite admirable and I appreciate your willingness to expose yourself, learn and grow with other members of this forum. I'm glad you are here. Some of your thread topics have made me think about things I hadn't given much thought to. For that, I am thankful. I am even more thankful that you haven't turned me down for a cuddle yet. Your cuddles are the best, you big murder bird. Flavus Flav will you marry me?
 
Milktoast Bandit said:
If you're an intj sociopath how do we know your words of kindness are just that and not some hollow affirmation you threw together within the guidelines of the OP? Does that even matter? I can't speak for the other infjs on here but something like this thread can be difficult. It's a really good idea and puts the kindness of its creator's heart on full display, but for me, asking me to say something nice about someone I disagree with is like that time I got in a fight with my sister and my dad separated us and told me to say something nice to her or get spanked. So of course I said something nice. I said, "Well, she has nice tits." Unfortunately, I got in more trouble that day, but my point is, some of us may be struggling with the authenticity of such compliments. It's not that we don't care for or appreciate others, it's that humor and deflection are a lot easier than thinking of and saying things we may not mean in the moment. It's kind of like being put on the spot. (Sort of, except everyone on this thread chose to meander on in...)

For instance, I disagree with @Eventhorizon on just a smidgen over 100% of all things political. (That's not true, it's probably more like 98.84%) A couple of months ago he had a medical procedure and I wished him well and I meant it, because I genuinely care about him as a person and have enjoyed a few lighthearted exchanges with him. However, once I got in this thread, I only said his typos were cute. Sure, it may not really mean anything, but at least I didn't say, "@Eventhorizon, you fucking retard! "Why you gotta fat finger every other word!? You're making Republicans look bad!"

By this point in my post you may have realized that I'm just rambling. There's a reason for it. I'm building authenticity. In my head as I'm typing this, I'm imagining a conversation with a giant murderous bird. Without this conversation, I'm inclined to say, "Wow Flavus Flav, you sure have some sexy talons!" Instead, now that I've created a "genuine" moment with you I am able to say:

Flavus Flav, when I first joined this forum, I thought you were the most uptight, conceited, hate peddling, scum fucking troll I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing in my life. (That's not true, my sister is...the one with the nice tits) But I don't think that way anymore. While I don't agree with your positions on many issues, I appreciate how you present yourself and your ideals in a way that often leads to open discussion on sensitive issues. You make a serious attempt to keep threads on topic and moving in a direction that promotes growth and understanding despite the valiant attempts of some assholes to derail.(not me) You present yourself with a maturity and intelligence that is quite admirable and I appreciate your willingness to expose yourself, learn and grow with other members of this forum. I'm glad you are here. Some of your thread topics have made me think about things I hadn't given much thought to. For that, I am thankful. I am even more thankful that you haven't turned me down for a cuddle yet. Your cuddles are the best, you big murder bird. Flavus Flav will you marry me?
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I take everything back.
(I don't think it was necessary to say something nice about me, but I approve very strongly that it wasn't a gilded lily).

Perhaps the priority given to authenticity, combined with a desire for purity of expressed sentiment has had people tongue tied. (INFJs). I greatly admire people that can acknowledge the good together with the bad: being constructive is not flattery, it is purifying a mixture of good and bad, to make it better and more able in itself to achieve good goals.

My complimentary comments about people I'd normally call feminist lib-tards is authentic insofar as it is true: they are seriously idealistic people, who actually care about making society better... and I think their personal burdens and responsibilities are not sufficiently acknowledged. My disagreement with them is about where their goals fall in the list of priorities. I don't think they should become apathetic, or lose self esteem... I think they need to realise that what comes first in the order of intentions comes last in the practical order of execution: that equality and justice cannot be imposed, but must be reached through a difficult path, in which every step is unbiased and just. (You can't treat the successful badly in order to make others successful).

Perhaps having defective/absent feelings makes conflicted feelings seem like a moot point to me; but the possibility that mixed feelings are very hard for INFJs to express makes it seem less hypocritical and more symptomatic of high emotional ideals.

Ummm... now for the uncomfortable bit... hugs...*gulp*
marcia-b-holding-eagle-katz-jpg.702

Help... I don't think I'm ready for a forum marriage, same-sex, or otherwise... but some chaste physical affection might be OK... errrm...

*hugs*
 
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Milktoast Bandit said:
If you're an intj sociopath how do we know your words of kindness are just that and not some hollow affirmation you threw together within the guidelines of the OP? Does that even matter? I can't speak for the other infjs on here but something like this thread can be difficult. It's a really good idea and puts the kindness of its creator's heart on full display, but for me, asking me to say something nice about someone I disagree with is like that time I got in a fight with my sister and my dad separated us and told me to say something nice to her or get spanked. So of course I said something nice. I said, "Well, she has nice tits." Unfortunately, I got in more trouble that day, but my point is, some of us may be struggling with the authenticity of such compliments. It's not that we don't care for or appreciate others, it's that humor and deflection are a lot easier than thinking of and saying things we may not mean in the moment. It's kind of like being put on the spot. (Sort of, except everyone on this thread chose to meander on in...)

For instance, I disagree with @Eventhorizon on just a smidgen over 100% of all things political. (That's not true, it's probably more like 98.84%) A couple of months ago he had a medical procedure and I wished him well and I meant it, because I genuinely care about him as a person and have enjoyed a few lighthearted exchanges with him. However, once I got in this thread, I only said his typos were cute. Sure, it may not really mean anything, but at least I didn't say, "@Eventhorizon, you fucking retard! "Why you gotta fat finger every other word!? You're making Republicans look bad!"

By this point in my post you may have realized that I'm just rambling. There's a reason for it. I'm building authenticity. In my head as I'm typing this, I'm imagining a conversation with a giant murderous bird. Without this conversation, I'm inclined to say, "Wow Flavus Flav, you sure have some sexy talons!" Instead, now that I've created a "genuine" moment with you I am able to say:

Flavus Flav, when I first joined this forum, I thought you were the most uptight, conceited, hate peddling, scum fucking troll I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing in my life. (That's not true, my sister is...the one with the nice tits) But I don't think that way anymore. While I don't agree with your positions on many issues, I appreciate how you present yourself and your ideals in a way that often leads to open discussion on sensitive issues. You make a serious attempt to keep threads on topic and moving in a direction that promotes growth and understanding despite the valiant attempts of some assholes to derail.(not me) You present yourself with a maturity and intelligence that is quite admirable and I appreciate your willingness to expose yourself, learn and grow with other members of this forum. I'm glad you are here. Some of your thread topics have made me think about things I hadn't given much thought to. For that, I am thankful. I am even more thankful that you haven't turned me down for a cuddle yet. Your cuddles are the best, you big murder bird. Flavus Flav will you marry me?
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Admirable. I haven't been able to actually continue reading or listening to, or having a discussion about politics with people whose political opinion differs from my own - just with this latest USA election. I know that would take a lot. a lot more work on my part. I am not prepared to have a discussion regarding politics AND say something nice about that person. At this stage of my journey I still walk away from people who have strong opposing opinions to me.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
You forgot to say that most of them have the sense of touch... that's a good thing to have.... so surely that's a nice thing to say.
*That's not even a compliment, it's nasty sarcasm*

.....

I can't believe, that me: the INTJ sociopath, is surprised by how devoid of kindness you INFJs are.

If you're American (or have an interest), you can't say you're not a self-loving narcissist unless you can at lest say something genuinely nice about someone who isn't part of your echo chamber: a Trump, or Clinton voter. (I voted for neither and am not an American). You all are kind of uber petty and showing towering insecurity if you can't say something remotely nice+genuine.
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Saying "nice things" is petty and superficial to begin with because words are cheap.

Edit:
Also you can show genuine kindness by listening to the other person and not attacking them. You don't have to be a sappy sap.

And besides, if you have to say nice things to prevent hard feelings then you probably already messed up anyway. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to show niceness if you've already been showing it by how you treat people.
 
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sprinkles said:
Saying "nice things" is petty and superficial to begin with because words are cheap.

Edit:
Also you can show genuine kindness by listening to the other person and not attacking them. You don't have to be a sappy sap.

And besides, if you have to say nice things to prevent hard feelings then you probably already messed up anyway. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to show niceness if you've already been showing it by how you treat people.
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You're overcooking the significance of saying something nice. It's not a big deal to say someone is being stupid, when they are being stupid; and it's not a big deal to say the same person also has good qualities because it's true.

How they feel about either is up to them and doesn't affect me. Simple. No biggie.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
You're overcooking the significance of saying something nice. It's not a big deal to say someone is being stupid, when they are being stupid; and it's not a big deal to say the same person also has good qualities because it's true.

How they feel about either is up to them and doesn't affect me. Simple. No biggie.
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I'm overcooking the significance? What happen to your shock about INFJ hypocrisy? Your surprise at people being "devoid of kindness"?

If it's not a big deal then it's hardly being devoid of kindness to not do it. Not to mention that I just got done saying it is superficial so you're just reiterating me.
 
sprinkles said:
I'm overcooking the significance? What happen to your shock about INFJ hypocrisy? Your surprise at people being "devoid of kindness"?

If it's not a big deal then it's hardly being devoid of kindness to not do it. Not to mention that I just got done saying it is superficial so you're just reiterating me.
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If you're going to be perfectionistic about being nice to people, you'll never be nice because no one is perfect.

Making exceptions for people who agree with you is shallow and hypocritical.

Nevertheless, I don't retract my concession that having difficulty expressing mixed emotions is more about idealism, than about hypocrisy: it's more a foible of goodness, than anything malicious.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
If you're going to be perfectionistic about being nice to people, you'll never be nice because no one is perfect.

Making exceptions for people who agree with you is shallow and hypocritical.

Nevertheless, I don't retract my concession that having difficulty expressing mixed emotions is more about idealism, than about hypocrisy: it's more a foible of goodness, than anything malicious.
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There are about a gazillion more ways to be nice to people than saying nice things. Saying nice things is probably the least of them actually.

Saying people are hypocrites for not saying specific words when there are myriad ways to show kindness is a strawman argument. Saying nice things is by far not the only way to be nice, and not doing it is in fact relatively minor.

It has little to do with mixed emotions. Saying such things is simply not entirely necessary.
 
sprinkles said:
There are about a gazillion more ways to be nice to people than saying nice things. Saying nice things is probably the least of them actually.

Saying people are hypocrites for not saying specific words when there are myriad ways to show kindness is a strawman argument. Saying nice things is by far not the only way to be nice, and not doing it is in fact relatively minor.

It has little to do with mixed emotions. Saying such things is simply not entirely necessary.
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This thread's topic/intention is not the be-all and end-all of what you're talking about. BUT it is a valid topic in itself, and has certainly been an eye-opener about something quirky about INFJs: y'all can't easily say nice things about people unless they agree with you.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
This thread's topic/intention is not the be-all and end-all of what you're talking about. BUT it is a valid topic in itself, and has certainly been an eye-opener about something quirky about INFJs: y'all can't easily say nice things about people unless they agree with you.
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We shouldn't have to, especially if it's not important. If it is in fact not a big deal as you have said, then you may as well nag somebody for not being able to lick their elbow.
 
sprinkles said:
We shouldn't have to, especially if it's not important. If it is in fact not a big deal as you have said, then you may as well nag somebody for not being able to lick their elbow.
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You'll never know what it takes for someone to do something, unless you ask/they tell... or if you challenge them to do what they haven't attempted successfully.

I want to know if and how INFJs can compliment political opponents. I'm pretty sure I've got a satisfactory answer, unless something new and relevant is raised.

I see no point to engaging another round of irrelevant sprinkles "no" banter.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
You'll never know what it takes for someone to do something, unless you ask/they tell... or if you challenge them to do what they haven't attempted successfully.

I want to know if and how INFJs can compliment political opponents. I'm pretty sure I've got a satisfactory answer, unless something new and relevant is raised.

I see no point to engaging another round of irrelevant sprinkles "no" banter.
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I can do it, I'm sure most people can. This is a simple refusal to do something that isn't genuine. A person cannot entirely help how they feel about another. If they could there would never be an excuse for anything other than gregarious bliss.
 
sprinkles said:
I can do it, I'm sure most people can. This is a simple refusal to do something that isn't genuine. A person cannot entirely help how they feel about another. If they could there would never be an excuse for anything other than gregarious bliss.
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I agree with you.

Now you can give me a hug.

:p
 
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