The INFJ sex life

CindyLou said:
It's AMAZING. @Jet I hallucinated once the sex was so good! We loved each other so much and I trusted him and he was sexy as fuk. OMG. It was so amazing. God. FML. ISFPs are the best lovers.

Go try one. ;)
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Hallucinated... she says. Sounds Nice.. ;) Teach us, wise one.. I find I agree with the deep love tied to deep sex stuff... But I don't get the idea that INFJ's lack drive.. Mine's epic :)
 
invisible said:
I had an unusual love experience (no sex) and afterwards sex seemed to suddenly become impossible, it's been about 5 years I think, but not completely sure, could be less. I guess I'm looking for the right man, not sure he's out there though.
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I understand. I simply cannot be sexually intimate with just anyone. There has to be a strong and deep connection with my partner, and then it's crazy intense. But even if you're not having sex, is the drive still there, or is it more dormant because you're not in a relationship with the right guy? Are you able to separate love and sexual intimacy? I'm genuinely curious about your perspective, but by no means should you answer if it's too personal.
 
Free said:
I understand. I simply cannot be sexually intimate with just anyone. There has to be a strong and deep connection with my partner, and then it's crazy intense. But even if you're not having sex, is the drive still there, or is it more dormant because you're not in a relationship with the right guy? Are you able to separate love and sexual intimacy? I'm genuinely curious about your perspective, but by no means should you answer if it's too personal.
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It didn't matter like this for me when I was younger, but yes, for me it's now more like what you describe about your choice of partner. Yeah I still have a sex drive, and I like to look at pretty men, but there's rarely any sense of the drive being "ignited" in a way that I would want to act on. Acting without the drive being "ignited" seems like eating mouldy food, I'm sure I could get nutrition out of it, but it wouldn't be very enjoyable. I'm not sure that I need to be in love exactly, in order to be sexual ... but it needs to be the right type of guy that there could potentially be love there in future, and for whatever reason, that type of connection doesn't exist with many men. Do you relate to any of this?
 
invisible said:
It didn't matter like this for me when I was younger, but yes, for me it's now more like what you describe about your choice of partner. Yeah I still have a sex drive, and I like to look at pretty men, but there's rarely any sense of the drive being "ignited" in a way that I would want to act on. Acting without the drive being "ignited" seems like eating mouldy food, I'm sure I could get nutrition out of it, but it wouldn't be very enjoyable. I'm not sure that I need to be in love exactly, in order to be sexual ... but it needs to be the right type of guy that there could potentially be love there in future, and for whatever reason, that type of connection doesn't exist with many men. Do you relate to any of this?
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I relate to all of it, completely, especially about being "ignited". These types of connection are very few and far between for me. Mouldy food is a very good comparison, lol. I once compared it to mouldy pizza. Sure, it's still pizza, but why on earth would you want to?

Thank you for your honesty. :)
 
Not to high jack... just to chime in as another INFJ perspective.. I, personally am a slave to my moral compass... which tells me I am only to have crazy intense sex in the construct and covenant of marriage. My drive will try to tell me otherwise, only if I meet someone who is a strong chance of being the "one" lol... But there ALWAYS has to e a sexual build of tension with me first, which must start in my mind... sapiosexual.. ;) and in my heart..
 
Free said:
I relate to all of it, completely, especially about being "ignited". These types of connection are very few and far between for me. Mouldy food is a very good comparison, lol. I once compared it to mouldy pizza. Sure, it's still pizza, but why on earth would you want to?

Thank you for your honesty. :)
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Agreed with you both... yes.. that connection.
 
Not to sound like an utterly noob ...but, how does one "like" ones comment on here? So much to like..
 
... thank you again autocorrect... *utter*
 
MistyWrites said:
But there ALWAYS has to e a sexual build of tension with me first, which must start in my mind... sapiosexual.. ;) and in my heart..
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I think many of us are sapiosexual. This is true for me as well. An intelligent being is far more attractive to me than any physical attribute, though physical attraction still plays its part. And yes, the build up, the anticipation, it is probably why it can be so intense. We're all guided by our own moral compasses and within my own, marriage is just another term for a long-term commited relationship. I don't think casual sex and an INFJ go well together. That's not to say it doesn't happen, but I think there are emotional consequences for any xNFx in regards to this.
 
Free said:
I think many of us are sapiosexual. This is true for me as well. An intelligent being is far more attractive to me than any physical attribute, though physical attraction still plays its part. And yes, the build up, the anticipation, it is probably why it can be so intense. We're all guided by our own moral compasses and within my own, marriage is just another term for a long-term commited relationship. I don't think casual sex and an INFJ go well together. That's not to say it doesn't happen, but I think there are emotional consequences for any xNFx in regards to this.
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Agreed! It's like our soul pays for it after if we break moral code.. and the act itself will be far less satisfying.. if at all.."mouldy food" ;) - which only adds to the after guilt..
 
I dimly remember on a thread about casual sex and INFJs in the past, an INFJ said she loved it and it definitely worked for her. She felt a genuine connection with a variety of people and it was a meaningful shared experience of communication or mutual discovery for her
 
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