The INFJ storm

[Jana]

Yes, I have tendency to be too much caring. I am aware it could be boring for one I love.

...can't help it though...

 

[Nela]

Normally quiet and reserved, maybe even aloof or cold, when an INFJ decides that someone is worthy of seeing all of them the intensity of what lies below their exterior can blow away even the most steadfast of individuals. I like to call this "the INFJ storm".

Does anyone recognize this and relate? I've often decided someone is worthy and stopped holding back, and then when I show them who I really am they get frightened by my intensity and start backing off. Or at the very least they're pretty stunned for a while.

I'd also like to hear from the non-INFJs if they've been on the receiving end and what that was like.

The intensity, yes, definitely. I honestly think that I scare the hell out of most people when I do that. And that's exactly why I do hold back, most of the time. It seems easier that way.

 

[Eniko]

The intensity, yes, definitely. I honestly think that I scare the hell out of most people when I do that. And that's exactly why I do hold back, most of the time. It seems easier that way.

On good days I want to stop holding back all the time. You know, separate the wheat from the chaff? But then I realize there'd be precious few people left if I did that. :tongue:

 

[Cecilff2]

Yea me too...

when I was small, I knew others didn't feel anything like I felt because of the way they behaved.

Yet, I could feel other people's pain, and it was (and still is) very rejecting when others could not (cannot still) feel mine too and give me what I need to feel safe and secure with them.

Ditto on this.

Typically nowadays, people can't see the storm unless I'm giving a public speech, or in writing. I think it surfaces when I want to make absolutely sure that I'm not misunderstood, since people seem to have trouble reading what I'm feeling otherwise.

 

[Nela]

On good days I want to stop holding back all the time. You know, separate the wheat from the chaff? But then I realize there'd be precious few people left if I did that. :tongue:

Yes, and that's why I choose my victims carefully. I'm joking now, but I know what you're talking about..

 

[Wyst]

To the OP -

Yeah, I know exactly what you're describing.
Lately, I've been expanding my circle of friends beyond 1 or 2 (plus family) so that I have several people that I trust and whose company I enjoy.

However, the number of people that really, REALLY know me are very few outside of my family. I mean, heck, I'll be transparent with my friends and communicate intimate facts about my situation or what I'm feeling but there is still another layer beneath that. Only the select few are granted access there.

When someone is granted access for the first time... they don't know what to think. "Where is the serious-minded, thoughtful, quiet, self-composed Wyst I used to know? And who is this ridiculously, animated, joker that now stands before me? WTF... did he just play a practical joke on me...? He must be drunk."

That's the real me though. (not the drunk part)

 

[Angantyr]

This has something I've been thinking a lot about me lately.

The other day I was doing this around town and they kept questioning me like I was insane and it kind of made me feel a bit depressed about the whole situation. I know I do it sometimes and don't know why but very few people seem to understand it. I don't really myself but if I saw somebody else doing it I do feel I could relate.

One thing I have noticed is that the internet seems to make us show our true feelings much more. So much to a degree that some of us come off as extroverts, one of my friends I talked to quite a bit came off as one but low and behold she turned out to be an INFJ just like me and things suddenly made a lot of sense. Also there's another thread where 1 guy tried to talk to an INFJ on the internet and he said she talked all the time online then when they met up she went quiet.

 

[Naxx]

Normally quiet and reserved, maybe even aloof or cold, when an INFJ decides that someone is worthy of seeing all of them the intensity of what lies below their exterior can blow away even the most steadfast of individuals. I like to call this "the INFJ storm".

Does anyone recognize this and relate? I've often decided someone is worthy and stopped holding back, and then when I show them who I really am they get frightened by my intensity and start backing off. Or at the very least they're pretty stunned for a while.

I'd also like to hear from the non-INFJs if they've been on the receiving end and what that was like.

Yes, the storm doesn't have to be negative it could be positive as well. However the amount of energy released during these times can often crush another if their own spiritual energy cannot withstand the weight.

It's often a chore to hold the intensity back just to be able to live normally in society. Even among my closest friends I have to hold back, it brings me sadness that I am unable just live absolutely truthful to how I feel and think; perhaps in the future when I've gained enough wisdom and experience.

 

[SweetDreams]

Yeah my poor best friend has to put up with the very impatient
and stubborn side of me...

Besides my family, she is the only one who sees pretty
much all of me, however, there are aspects of my
personality which even she doesn't see.

...my justification to her is that she is like
family to me, and because we're so close i treat
her as if i would a sister.

Surprisingly she's still hanging around! (Although she
is an ENFP, so i guess that kinda explains it.)