Things you most like and dislike about (being an) INFJ(s)

What I like about INFJs: Their ability to be caring and insightful at the same time; sometimes makes for good conversation - given if you get a chance to have a conversation. They can be serious, non-serious, positive, and uplifting all in one convo, which is always great.

What I dislike about INFJs: Misinterpreting what's going on, or reading too much meaning into expressions/situations/styles/attitudes without giving an explanation when asked. This has happened a number of times, and I ended up feeling like I had to figure it out like some silly game. Then I would just think f-it I'm just going to say something for the fun/hell of it. I don't care. I don't think that goes well either. It's the over-sensitivity coupled with this judging "child/parent" dynamic. It kind of rubs off on you too, so I feel extra sensitive saying stuff around INFJs because I don't know what kind of reaction it will get. But other than that, there's not too much to dislike in general, I mainly see other INFJs as just doing their thing, figuring it out, and dealing with life, like most people.

What I like about being an INFJ: I love being an INFJ. I don't think I'm unique or special or anything like that. I think I'm a kind of person though who can get through a lot of difficult stuff, do a lot of difficult things, and learn a lot of subversive experiences without being noticed for that stuff. I don't even have to talk about it or make it a "thing" about my life. Also I like being able to deliberately change context or perspective. I find a lot of other types have a hard time with this. I can blend into, mix/mingle, in a huge range of environments and people and no one could tell where I've been or what I was up to.

What I dislike about being an INFJ: I really don't like having a lot of ideas and projects to do, but having limitations in time/money/energy. I also don't like the huge and growing chasm between my inner self and outer presentation(s). And finally I really don't like the loneliness and the attitude others have toward lonely people. Nobody knows, nobody sees, nobody cares...that's the life - it sucks.
 
Wyote said:
What is the "attitude" that you percieve?
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Most likely that those who were not socially successful ie having a fairly wide social circle along with a body count to match are losers or are to lazy to put in the effort never mind broken etc even though there are loads of people that do and things not working out. So pretty much not measuring up to increasingly unrealistic expectations often seen as the good life on platforms like fakebook, twitter, or worse tiktok even though we all know such is well beyond ridiculous. Even by older standards people are struggling these days especially in the dating market so r.i.p there and this is all just for normal people never mind anyone out in the fringes so when the normies are fucked well you get the picture. All in all people these days would be very lucky to have any real connections given the current state of society in an disconnected world where everything is faked and so called life is done so through small little screens. Real and deep connections that aren't temporary or subject to ever changing rules are like winning lottery tickets these days.
 
Roses In The Vineyard said:
Most likely that those who were not socially successful ie having a fairly wide social circle along with a body count to match are losers or are to lazy to put in the effort never mind broken etc even though there are loads of people that do and things not working out. So pretty much not measuring up to increasingly unrealistic expectations often seen as the good life on platforms like fakebook, twitter, or worse tiktok even though we all know such is well beyond ridiculous. Even by older standards people are struggling these days especially in the dating market so r.i.p there and this is all just for normal people never mind anyone out in the fringes so when the normies are fucked well you get the picture. All in all people these days would be very lucky to have any real connections given the current state of society in an disconnected world where everything is faked and so called life is done so through small little screens. Real and deep connections that aren't temporary or subject to ever changing rules are like winning lottery tickets these days.
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I didn't ask you and I don't care what you have to say in regards to this
@Jexocuha please don't let this person influence your answer
 
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Roses In The Vineyard said:
I'll remember that from now on when you replay to my posts and make comments on my profile.
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lol good, thanks
I only meant this post but if you wanna conflate things I ain't gonna argue
 
Wyote said:
What is the "attitude" that you percieve?
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The attitude I perceive, and I see it all the time, when a person admits to being lonely, they are told or it is implied that they are not trying hard enough, they purposefully isolate themselves, it's all their fault, they're a loser and should accept it, and ultimately it's a bad idea to admit to loneliness. People act like they're just wanting attention or they are inherently unworthy of friendship/love/understanding. Other perceptions, especially of males, are that they are a "creep", there's something wrong with them, they don't deserve to be accepted, etc. @Roses In The Vineyard I think is spot on, too. It's true; it's a culture that creates lonely people, no matter how hard you try. And I mentioned "other's attitudes" because that's an important factor to a widening gulf between inner-self and outer presentation. It's useless to admit to loneliness. It draws sad and unhelpful attention. And imo, you'd be better off pretending you're not lonely, everything is fine. "Don't worry, be happy"...etc.
 
Jexocuha said:
It's useless to admit to loneliness. It draws sad and unhelpful attention. And imo, you'd be better off pretending you're not lonely, everything is fine. "Don't worry, be happy"...etc.
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Any ideas on a better way to approach loneliness/lonely people?
 
Wyote said:
Any ideas on a better way to approach loneliness/lonely people?
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Of course I do, but many of them would not be appropriate for the forum and wouldn't reflect my public values. But for starters:
  • Get involved in your passions/projects more
  • Work, volunteer, get involved in the community
  • Join the military or peace corps
  • Travel - meet different people in different cultures (maybe you'll meet someone who likes you on some other part of the world)
  • Get a dog, get a pet, and/or a eventually a robot
  • [for guys] don't be an incel, don't turn to extremist groups or gangs; you don't need a woman in your life, you need Jesus! (or something to that effect)
  • Don't talk about loneliness, especially online
  • Don't kill yourself
  • Don't overdose on drugs
  • Take as best care of yourself as you can afford and have time for
  • For people who aren't lonely: Don't stigmatize lonely people. Don't tell them to "try harder". Talk to them, get to know them as a person, try to understand their condition.
There. Some ideas.
 
Jexocuha said:
ultimately it's a bad idea to admit to loneliness
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Jexocuha said:
Don't talk about loneliness, especially online
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I think I see where you're going with all this.
It's important to be able to talk about loneliness, but most people/circumstances aren't going to be good to do so within.
Your list seems pretty reasonable, though I am of course very curious about the ones left off due to being inappropriate.
 
Wyote said:
I think I see where you're going with all this.
It's important to be able to talk about loneliness, but most people/circumstances aren't going to be good to do so within.
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Yes, exactly.

Also, I'm painting a picture of an "INFJ" life(but aware using my life as a model). I'm not saying that all INFJs are lonely or that all of them struggle a lot with loneliness. What I am saying is if one is an INFJ, there is a high likelihood that the person will experience a kind of loneliness(and/or alienation, solitude). It's a reality, that I'm simply acknowledging. It's a real thing.
 
Jexocuha said:
Yes, exactly.

Also, I'm painting a picture of an "INFJ" life(but aware using my life as a model). I'm not saying that all INFJs are lonely or that all of them struggle a lot with loneliness. What I am saying is if one is an INFJ, there is a high likelihood that the person will experience a kind of loneliness(and/or alienation, solitude). It's a reality, that I'm simply acknowledging. It's a real thing.
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It can be like this for me

 
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