Thoughts From A Tired Soul
- Thread starter Sandie33
- Start date
Oh my
Went for a visit to see my sister. Not a complete disaster. Came home and Maggie has completely chewed my suitcase and half of what was in it.
I'm missing 1 sock and two pair of panties in the debris.
The neice has locked herself and the dog in her room. I'm not sure if I should go to a hotel room or just have a nap and go home.
Went for a visit to see my sister. Not a complete disaster. Came home and Maggie has completely chewed my suitcase and half of what was in it.
I'm missing 1 sock and two pair of panties in the debris.
The neice has locked herself and the dog in her room. I'm not sure if I should go to a hotel room or just have a nap and go home.
MoonFlier
Well-known member
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 5w4
*hugs*Oh my
Went for a visit to see my sister. Not a complete disaster. Came home and Maggie has completely chewed my suitcase and half of what was in it.
I'm missing 1 sock and two pair of panties in the debris.
The neice has locked herself and the dog in her room. I'm not sure if I should go to a hotel room or just have a nap and go home.
I know you don't want to hear advice, BUT, LOL... I'm about your age, consider you to be like an honorary sister and going to give you some anyway.
Stick in there.
You said your neice is an INFJ. Well, we all know what that's like. Don't give her a chance to door slam you. Nope. Nuh uh. I don't know what was said or why she's putting blame where it may not belong, but she needs you.
Thank you for the sisterly advice
I waited for a bit and asked if she had gone to bed for the night. She came back out and we had a three hour talk. She is definitely a struggling INFJ.
During our morning drive to the hospital to see my sister we talked, then again when I had taken her to Olive Garden. Her birthday day is this week. Then we went back to the hospital to see her mom and I gave her space to be silent all the way home. Our only interaction was her telling me where the turns were.
So imagine both of our surprise when we entered the house and my suitcase was all chewed up. Maggie had torn the zipper almost completely out and my clothes strung all over the floor in two rooms, half eaten mind you. Still can't locate my sock but did find the panties. One in her bed, the other half hid under the roll on the back of a chair.
I shouldn't laugh, but ... now it's a bit comical.
My neice was horrified and thought I was pissed. She is so deeply affected by it. I wasn't angry, rather I picked up my debris, put it in the shopping bag I had, walked it and the remnants of the suitcase and locked it in my car. Nothing in here but my phone and fob.
I didn't say anything and that was the issue. I'm an INFJ that doesn't care much for surprises like that. She is so used to the aggressive nature of her mom that she actually thought I was angry, while I thought she was angry at me. Maggie is almost 9 months old. Chews everything, and I do mean everything. She stalks the table, counters, gets on top of the stove...at about 120 pounds she's a handful. She's a big naughty puppy tonight.
The visit with my sister went fairly well I believe. Both she and my neice were shocked at me when I went out of the room...had to find a potty really but needing a break from the senseless bickering...I stated as I left that I had not driven this far to play referee.
That changed the rooms atmosphere when I came back.
Much of my ideas to assist them are a go. We decided to get my sister a local elder care lawyer and ask around about medical bankruptcy law here. The sis agreed to my being guardian for her while my neice will resume proxy and POA...these are two distinctly different hats. I assured my sis that I would advise my neice in the sane manner yet the sole decision making was theirs.
I tried to comb my sister's hair today. Tomorrow I'm going to oil it up and try again. It is at dreads stage in some spots because no one has helped her comb it since she went into the rehab for her broken hip! She's had bedside baths but her hair is a mess. She agreed to let me cut it if I can't get the knots and tangles free. Since the front is a bit longer I told her we would cut it long and go short in the back and then wash it. I brought her some cleansing cloths so she can 'wash' her face and some witchhazel wipes to get rid of that well known hospital starchy sheet itch lol.
I talked her into sitting up on the edge of the bed with help. Conned her really. Told her I couldn't get to her head lying down. When I asked the nurse about security and sissors at her station she told me I could do anything I wanted and asked if I could stay because my being there was as docile as she's seen my sister yet. This nurse is a 12-hour day shift and has been with my sister since she had been transferred upstairs from ICU. I politely explained no I couldn't stick around but would be back tomorrow and Monday morning. I decided to go visit a couple hours alone with her while my neice goes to work and then just leave from there for home.
I've been calling Dad throughout the day and he seems chipper and happy. No worries there. They are raking and taking care of the yard. Keeping him busy. That gives me a chance to focus on things here.
When I left this evening for home I gave my sister a kiss on the forehead and a generous hug. Reminded her of the pinky swear to start focusing all the energy she's been using to be mean in a positive healing direction so she can get back to the nursing home then go from there.
She's in declining health. Frail and confused as any dementia patient would be. My neice and I hadn't entered the elevator before she was demanding coffee and food. She may be permanently on a j-tube if she fails the swallow test on Tuesday. The ENG tube has to come out. She's permanently on oxygen now. The color of her skin is transparent. The dead finger comes off Wednesday. She has a leaking valve that can't be fixed...basically, her time is limited unless a miracle happens.
She has her faculties enough that she can get her end of life directives known. I'll be coming over in a month to get signed in as her guardian.
It will all work out I hope.
Up with the daylight. I didn't sleep well last night. It was more like passing out from exhaustion. It was comforting to hear my neice snoring like a bear though. She was loud enough to drown out the AC unit, lol. I'm thinking it was all that talking.
Often the release of the tension from a high stress situation causes a body to crash. I'm hopeful that my neice will be better rested and a clear mind when she wakes up this morning.
I sure can relate to needing solitude to regroup and recharge. After advocating for them both yesterday with the hospitality, nurses, and liason I was whooped on the drive home.
......
I'm tucked in and exhausted. Going home tomorrow to rest.
Today went better than yesterday. I was able to give the sister a cute do in her hair. I cut it all off in the back and blended in a longer front. She buzzed the nurse to come and look. My sister was actually smiling and laughing today. Then she cried when I left. I told her chin up and to keep practicing her swallowing exercises for her test on Tuesday.
I spoke with her hospitalist. If she's 'good' and still fails the swallow test she can try semi-solids and smoothies again. Thickened liquids only...even coffee. If she aspirates she'll get a J-tube. That was the cheapest bargain I could get her. The ENG tube has to come out bc she's getting a sore nostril even though they keep switching sides.
I also had her sitting up in the bed a few times and convinced her to continue this so she could transfer to a wheelchair and move about the ward. I was impressed with her allowing me to put her leg brace on too.
When I left to come home she was crying so I told her I'd be back in a few weeks and she promised that she'd work hard to be back at the nursing home when I returned. I agreed to look over the programs available to her, but she needed to promise me she'd keep working towards getting her prosthetic so we can go for a walk in the garden she said is at the home.
Gosh, I sure hope she keeps on the plan I wrote out on a paper plate and hung where she could see it each morning.
The hospitalist contacted the neuro-psyche doc and she came and met with me before I left. They have a treatment plan all laid out for her once she gets back to the home. She is calm up to about 3 pm today...she has similar confusion and agitation that Dad gets in the afternoon. The docs are going to do an MRI too...one of the ones that takes brain to toe slices...to see if she has any lesions, growths, tumors, etc. They are looking for dementia or Alzheimer’s. The psyche doc told me that my sister has a mild dementia from the cardiac arrest. She's only 59.
She's not going to get any better but they are doing the best they can for her now.
She agreed that I'll be guardian...now to upgrade her will, etc...will she cooperate other than when I get there is the next question.
Often the release of the tension from a high stress situation causes a body to crash. I'm hopeful that my neice will be better rested and a clear mind when she wakes up this morning.
I sure can relate to needing solitude to regroup and recharge. After advocating for them both yesterday with the hospitality, nurses, and liason I was whooped on the drive home.
......
I'm tucked in and exhausted. Going home tomorrow to rest.
Today went better than yesterday. I was able to give the sister a cute do in her hair. I cut it all off in the back and blended in a longer front. She buzzed the nurse to come and look. My sister was actually smiling and laughing today. Then she cried when I left. I told her chin up and to keep practicing her swallowing exercises for her test on Tuesday.
I spoke with her hospitalist. If she's 'good' and still fails the swallow test she can try semi-solids and smoothies again. Thickened liquids only...even coffee. If she aspirates she'll get a J-tube. That was the cheapest bargain I could get her. The ENG tube has to come out bc she's getting a sore nostril even though they keep switching sides.
I also had her sitting up in the bed a few times and convinced her to continue this so she could transfer to a wheelchair and move about the ward. I was impressed with her allowing me to put her leg brace on too.
When I left to come home she was crying so I told her I'd be back in a few weeks and she promised that she'd work hard to be back at the nursing home when I returned. I agreed to look over the programs available to her, but she needed to promise me she'd keep working towards getting her prosthetic so we can go for a walk in the garden she said is at the home.
Gosh, I sure hope she keeps on the plan I wrote out on a paper plate and hung where she could see it each morning.
The hospitalist contacted the neuro-psyche doc and she came and met with me before I left. They have a treatment plan all laid out for her once she gets back to the home. She is calm up to about 3 pm today...she has similar confusion and agitation that Dad gets in the afternoon. The docs are going to do an MRI too...one of the ones that takes brain to toe slices...to see if she has any lesions, growths, tumors, etc. They are looking for dementia or Alzheimer’s. The psyche doc told me that my sister has a mild dementia from the cardiac arrest. She's only 59.
She's not going to get any better but they are doing the best they can for her now.
She agreed that I'll be guardian...now to upgrade her will, etc...will she cooperate other than when I get there is the next question.
I ate the whole thing! Breakfast at Demitris is the bomb.
Four crispy biscuit halves smothered in sausage gravy with a patty on top and a side of sausage...I was saying yum as my arteries said oh no not again, lol
Demitris is on the lake and I was able to get some pictures of it too...
Oh! and I can't forget my Western Elliefant at 21 Brix winery! The Eastern Elliefant is at Metros
...about 15 minutes from me at home,
Four crispy biscuit halves smothered in sausage gravy with a patty on top and a side of sausage...I was saying yum as my arteries said oh no not again, lol Demitris is on the lake and I was able to get some pictures of it too...
Oh! and I can't forget my Western Elliefant at 21 Brix winery! The Eastern Elliefant is at Metros
...about 15 minutes from me at home,
A quiet morning is always welcome.
Resting up my little fat feet while our temperature climbs. My thick New Yorker's blood is having difficulty with jumping right into the 90's from our usual springy 60's lol. It causes me to feel sluggish.
Today is a hurry up and wait type of day. During my weekend organizing and advocating for my sister, and neice, today is the sister's swallowing test. We all were in agreement that if she does fail the test let her try food and drinks any way. She knows full well that she may aspirate, and it may be fatal. She's not understanding the why behind it all because of the delirium, but also the convo with the neuro-psyche doc she is indeed in Early stage vascular dementia. MRI's have a diagnostic capability one can't argue with.
While I wait I'll be doing minimal organizing right here at home.
Quiet chores until later when the sun goes down.
I simply signed up as translator, co-guardian ... advisement ... and I advised strongly against a cup of coffee and sausage sandwich after five weeks of nothing in her tummy and no swallowing.
Fingers crossed that I'm wrong.
Resting up my little fat feet while our temperature climbs. My thick New Yorker's blood is having difficulty with jumping right into the 90's from our usual springy 60's lol. It causes me to feel sluggish.
Today is a hurry up and wait type of day. During my weekend organizing and advocating for my sister, and neice, today is the sister's swallowing test. We all were in agreement that if she does fail the test let her try food and drinks any way. She knows full well that she may aspirate, and it may be fatal. She's not understanding the why behind it all because of the delirium, but also the convo with the neuro-psyche doc she is indeed in Early stage vascular dementia. MRI's have a diagnostic capability one can't argue with.
While I wait I'll be doing minimal organizing right here at home.
Quiet chores until later when the sun goes down.
I simply signed up as translator, co-guardian ... advisement ... and I advised strongly against a cup of coffee and sausage sandwich after five weeks of nothing in her tummy and no swallowing.
Fingers crossed that I'm wrong.
She did it! My sister passed the swallow test on thickened liquids. My neice just sent me pictures of the two of them having ice cream together for my niece's birthday. No more ENG tube. Giving her the test again in two weeks and if she passes again it's a virtual toast with water.
The doc said I was good medicine for her.
I told her to water the good vibes I left behind ... I'm a believer that serequel is one of the best cognitive therapies there is for confused minds. ♡
The doc said I was good medicine for her.
I told her to water the good vibes I left behind ... I'm a believer that serequel is one of the best cognitive therapies there is for confused minds. ♡
We have to quarantine for three days, five for a sniffle. The hell with it, we will stay right here for five days to be certain.
My sister's hospitalist called me this morning to update me. It's wonderful that she ate a sandwich last night without an issue. Ice cream with my neice went well too.
However, the lady they brought in on Saturday tested positive for covid on Sunday. The staff were keeping the door closed, however, the family visiting were all over and in and out. Some of the staff tested positive now. So....dad and I are headed to get a nose swab, then hang out for five days and retested.
I wish sometimes this virus would go away as fast as it showed up, but, I'm thinking we're stuck with it like the flu...always chasing the next strain.
Good thing I drove straight through with only one stop on Monday. I called the Dandy store where I got gas and a potty break to let them know, and my sister too. Simply common courtesy. I'd want someone to tell me.
Luckily, it won't inconvenience us too much to quarantine. Doc says if Dad and I are symptom free after three days and a negative test we should be fine. I told him I sure don't want it in 90° heat and no ac.
My plan is to get some mending done. After that big weight loss none of my summer things fit. I'm thinking a tuck in here and there will work until I can find something else.
Finding things to get caught up on in the house and avoiding others will suit me just fine right now, lol ;P
My sister's hospitalist called me this morning to update me. It's wonderful that she ate a sandwich last night without an issue. Ice cream with my neice went well too.
However, the lady they brought in on Saturday tested positive for covid on Sunday. The staff were keeping the door closed, however, the family visiting were all over and in and out. Some of the staff tested positive now. So....dad and I are headed to get a nose swab, then hang out for five days and retested.
I wish sometimes this virus would go away as fast as it showed up, but, I'm thinking we're stuck with it like the flu...always chasing the next strain.
Good thing I drove straight through with only one stop on Monday. I called the Dandy store where I got gas and a potty break to let them know, and my sister too. Simply common courtesy. I'd want someone to tell me.
Luckily, it won't inconvenience us too much to quarantine. Doc says if Dad and I are symptom free after three days and a negative test we should be fine. I told him I sure don't want it in 90° heat and no ac.
My plan is to get some mending done. After that big weight loss none of my summer things fit. I'm thinking a tuck in here and there will work until I can find something else.
Finding things to get caught up on in the house and avoiding others will suit me just fine right now, lol ;P
Health department says if Dad and I are still symptom free we can end our quarantine tomorrow.
Thank goodness.
Dad is having a weeks-long hissy fit. I need to hire a helper. Trying to skip the agency and hire an independent. No one will companion sit for less than $30 an hour, 4 hours minimum.
imma start paying me
Thank goodness.
Dad is having a weeks-long hissy fit. I need to hire a helper. Trying to skip the agency and hire an independent. No one will companion sit for less than $30 an hour, 4 hours minimum.
imma start paying me
MoonFlier
Well-known member
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 5w4
In some states, depending on your relationship, you are allowed to take earnings for being the caretaker for your family member who need the help.
This info is a little dated, but scroll down to the list of links to state rules and you'll get a generalized idea if it is allowed where you are or not:
https://www.seniorlink.com/blog/how...cial-assistance-options-for-family-caregivers
I did that in 2019, he doesn't meet any of the qualifiers to pay me.
I'm just spouting out. He's in the phase of disliking the mean mom me. His continuing to ask where Dandie is grates on my nerves.
I had a scare in Walmart last night at 8:30. Dad was being marked by two guys, with a possible 3rd. Dad walks with an empty cart with me. When the one fella 'teased' Dad about how he should buy something, I asked who is your new friend Dad as I walked toward him. When the two, or 3 lol, lit for the door the guy in the blue shirt said to the fella that spoke to Dad 'maybe next time'. ...pays to have been a thug in a past life so I can spot a shake down now. All because Dad has refused to get up before 2pm.
Days like these I just want to make the phone call to say no. No to doing this anymore and just cut my losses. If I go though, I'm not coming back, it's a one-way journey.
*edit*
I'm just grumpy because it feels like riding bareassed on a brick wall when he's like this.
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Out of my funk and into the blue.
I'm beginning to give credence to the emotional waves that come with knowing HDS and how my body works to collect and expend energy. Diet, or lack of, has much to do with fueling that energy.
One of the difficulties of being a cerebral Manifestor in HD is in finding the physical strengths to get up and get moving. With an open root and sacral center, (the centers that "run" a Generator type), it's difficult to keep up. And still yet, difficult to explain to others who jump in the day. Generator's keep the wheels of mankind humming, they should let us idea monkeys move at our own pace without expectation of keeping up.
Isn't one of the primary functions of higher learning, fleshing out the answers to our questions, and researching ideas and theories the why of why we are here? and then putting the snippets and tidbits to work in our own lives?
No disrespect to myself or anyone else...I'm not antisocial, yet, I find the older and wiser I get I am very much anti Western society. I am still learning about Eastern society, but I'd wager I don't conform to much of it either. ;P
I follow the rules much of the time. More like I use societal rules as a guide to not break the law, but I don't agree with the limitations higher ups put on us because of them. ...see, 'higher ups', a term that puts a label on us and causes some of us to feel less than, even worthless some how because we don't run for office and join the decision making squad. The decision makers forget we serfs vote for them with the trust that they will carry our ideas and ideals into the great hall so we may continue to move about freely through life acting out our purpose ... yeah shit2, lol.
I can't even get these assclowns at home to follow directions to help create an atmosphere of freedom and independence. For example of how my younger sister creates more work for me rather than less. She can't follow simple directions, even when written out like she asks. I couldn't find my hair towels. I have smaller, thin towels for hair and thick big towels to buff a butt...well, she took off all the doily and dresser scarves around the house and replaced them with my hair towels. These are towels that when the step-sis cleared out her mother's shit stuff she took all but 4 towels so I put my towels in the closet from my home I moved here from in 2014.
The last executive decision my younger sis made I pulled her aside and told her calmly and kindly to stop rearranging my home, explaining to her that I find it very disrespectful and I would not do this to her home. She chucks stuff in trash and recycling without asking, rearranged all my cupboards so she can reach, she's 4 foot 5 inches ... get the fekkin steps stool I told her!
Now she's unavailable because she has to move. The place she is renting was sold and her landlord said 30 days. She's livid but hasn't paid rent in 5 years! I asked her to let me know if she needed help, and IF I was able I would, lol that's the part others do not hear or tend to overlook. I also told her they are not living here. Period. She can't seem to adhere to the home structure as is ... could I fekkin imagine them living in the house...oh fukkin right I can. A big fat NO to that. However, I'll help out if needed because she's been helping me here...har, har, har ...
Anyhoo, the elder sister is doing well. Eating and drinking thickened liquids. My neice and her had KFC for dinner last night. Today the sis gets moved back to the nursing home. She's able to transfer from bed to wheelchair with help. Her blood work shows no gangrene or other infections currently. Her blood pressure is high but stable. Yay!
All involved except her says I shook her up deeply. I said yep, she thinks if she gets her strength back she's going to whoop my ass. Mean sister thinking. What she is really pussed about is my response...notice I didn't say reaction...to the constant histrionic phone calls and texts that she 'gonna die' ... welp...my give a damn busted and I ran straight out of patience, pride, and prejudice. She started that bs on Saturday when I got to the hospital and I responded by asking her for the pillow behind her head. She asked what, so I repeated it. When she asked me why I responded that I didn't come all that way to play referee nor listen to some poor me sob story of which I had no energy for...repeated hand me the fekkin pillow and I'll make it short and sweet ... bluffed! lmao Got her attention though, and by end of day her whole attitude changed.
Some times we have to speak to someone in their own language so there is no mistaking what is said.
Today is national donut day here?!? yummy
I'm beginning to give credence to the emotional waves that come with knowing HDS and how my body works to collect and expend energy. Diet, or lack of, has much to do with fueling that energy.
One of the difficulties of being a cerebral Manifestor in HD is in finding the physical strengths to get up and get moving. With an open root and sacral center, (the centers that "run" a Generator type), it's difficult to keep up. And still yet, difficult to explain to others who jump in the day. Generator's keep the wheels of mankind humming, they should let us idea monkeys move at our own pace without expectation of keeping up.
Isn't one of the primary functions of higher learning, fleshing out the answers to our questions, and researching ideas and theories the why of why we are here? and then putting the snippets and tidbits to work in our own lives?
No disrespect to myself or anyone else...I'm not antisocial, yet, I find the older and wiser I get I am very much anti Western society. I am still learning about Eastern society, but I'd wager I don't conform to much of it either. ;P
I follow the rules much of the time. More like I use societal rules as a guide to not break the law, but I don't agree with the limitations higher ups put on us because of them. ...see, 'higher ups', a term that puts a label on us and causes some of us to feel less than, even worthless some how because we don't run for office and join the decision making squad. The decision makers forget we serfs vote for them with the trust that they will carry our ideas and ideals into the great hall so we may continue to move about freely through life acting out our purpose ... yeah shit2, lol.
I can't even get these assclowns at home to follow directions to help create an atmosphere of freedom and independence.
For example of how my younger sister creates more work for me rather than less. She can't follow simple directions, even when written out like she asks. I couldn't find my hair towels. I have smaller, thin towels for hair and thick big towels to buff a butt...well, she took off all the doily and dresser scarves around the house and replaced them with my hair towels. These are towels that when the step-sis cleared out her mother's The last executive decision my younger sis made I pulled her aside and told her calmly and kindly to stop rearranging my home, explaining to her that I find it very disrespectful and I would not do this to her home. She chucks stuff in trash and recycling without asking, rearranged all my cupboards so she can reach, she's 4 foot 5 inches ... get the fekkin steps stool I told her!
Now she's unavailable because she has to move. The place she is renting was sold and her landlord said 30 days. She's livid but hasn't paid rent in 5 years! I asked her to let me know if she needed help, and IF I was able I would, lol that's the part others do not hear or tend to overlook. I also told her they are not living here. Period. She can't seem to adhere to the home structure as is ... could I fekkin imagine them living in the house...oh fukkin right I can. A big fat NO to that. However, I'll help out if needed because she's been helping me here...har, har, har ...
Anyhoo, the elder sister is doing well. Eating and drinking thickened liquids. My neice and her had KFC for dinner last night. Today the sis gets moved back to the nursing home. She's able to transfer from bed to wheelchair with help. Her blood work shows no gangrene or other infections currently. Her blood pressure is high but stable. Yay!
All involved except her says I shook her up deeply. I said yep, she thinks if she gets her strength back she's going to whoop my ass.
Mean sister thinking. What she is really pussed about is my response...notice I didn't say reaction...to the constant histrionic phone calls and texts that she 'gonna die' ... welp...my give a damn busted and I ran straight out of patience, pride, and prejudice. She started that bs on Saturday when I got to the hospital and I responded by asking her for the pillow behind her head. She asked what, so I repeated it. When she asked me why I responded that I didn't come all that way to play referee nor listen to some poor me sob story of which I had no energy for...repeated hand me the fekkin pillow and I'll make it short and sweet ... bluffed! lmao Got her attention though, and by end of day her whole attitude changed.Some times we have to speak to someone in their own language so there is no mistaking what is said.
Today is national donut day here?!? yummy
Well hell. Insurance companies stink. Big sister isn't transferring to the nursing home until Tuesday now. Prerequisite referrals, blah, blah, blah. Six weeks of more healing and the prosthetic process begins. I made her pinky swear to see it through. She will not be released from the nursing home to her home until she is able to go to the bathroom by herself and stand at the kitchen counter and make her own coffee...be a hard pressed miracle for that.
Now that she's been evaluated by the neuropsyche folks she has a new path to adjust to. Early onset, Stage 1, Vascular Dementia with psychosis. Delirium from being in the hospital setting for too long has led to the ICU-Psychosis. Docs talking to this little sister has popped the top off a suspected life-long psychosis. She can't hide anymore from the truth.
One root cause of her self-reported emotional issues is she hasn't been able to trust her own thoughts and perceptions since her first heart attack in 2012. This, according to her has made her scared and angry. The docs and psych staff will be addressing this with her over the next few months.
Hope.
I'm not betting too much on a favorable outcome. There is a plan in place, meds prescribed and monitored, abd a pinky swear. She knows and understands that should I feel I'm being played yet again I'm tapping out permanently. I have way too much to manage here, and I can't be there. With the younger sister needing to move and my overnight help on hold...well some things are impossible and that's what video chat is for.
oopsie lol
Now that she's been evaluated by the neuropsyche folks she has a new path to adjust to. Early onset, Stage 1, Vascular Dementia with psychosis. Delirium from being in the hospital setting for too long has led to the ICU-Psychosis. Docs talking to this little sister has popped the top off a suspected life-long psychosis. She can't hide anymore from the truth.
One root cause of her self-reported emotional issues is she hasn't been able to trust her own thoughts and perceptions since her first heart attack in 2012. This, according to her has made her scared and angry. The docs and psych staff will be addressing this with her over the next few months.
Hope.
I'm not betting too much on a favorable outcome. There is a plan in place, meds prescribed and monitored, abd a pinky swear. She knows and understands that should I feel I'm being played yet again I'm tapping out permanently. I have way too much to manage here, and I can't be there. With the younger sister needing to move and my overnight help on hold...well some things are impossible and that's what video chat is for.
oopsie lol
Why must each day feel like a week from hell?
I slipped getting on the riding mower yesterday...didn't think much of it and continued on. Checked it all over before bed last night...woke this morning with a bruise the size of a post-it and it feeling like I was kicked by a Brahma.
Good thing we have a cold front and three day rain forecast. It will give me time to catch up in the house.
My younger sister almost put us all out of home and hearth yesterday. I wish to Christmas she would listen and follow directions! We have a corded ceiling fan in the livingroom. Its plug wiring burnt out last summer so I unplugged it until I can get the pieces and rewire it. Now I'm not sure if I will have to replace the whole damn thing because her silly self plugged it in and not only did the fan start smoking but the darned plung and outlet was smoking. When I walked in I caught myself before I face palmed her. I was livid.
After calmly explaining again to her that I had to rewire it abd when she asked before I had told her do not plug it in ... well I took my cart for a walk with her laughing at me and saying she forgot with all she has going on.
I told her to go home and do it then.
She pouted. I took a walk around the yard.
Seems like I keep getting sucked into the pessimistic sinkhole.
I slipped getting on the riding mower yesterday...didn't think much of it and continued on. Checked it all over before bed last night...woke this morning with a bruise the size of a post-it and it feeling like I was kicked by a Brahma.
Good thing we have a cold front and three day rain forecast. It will give me time to catch up in the house.
My younger sister almost put us all out of home and hearth yesterday. I wish to Christmas she would listen and follow directions! We have a corded ceiling fan in the livingroom. Its plug wiring burnt out last summer so I unplugged it until I can get the pieces and rewire it. Now I'm not sure if I will have to replace the whole damn thing because her silly self plugged it in and not only did the fan start smoking but the darned plung and outlet was smoking. When I walked in I caught myself before I face palmed her. I was livid.
After calmly explaining again to her that I had to rewire it abd when she asked before I had told her do not plug it in ... well I took my cart for a walk with her laughing at me and saying she forgot with all she has going on.
I told her to go home and do it then.
She pouted. I took a walk around the yard.
Seems like I keep getting sucked into the pessimistic sinkhole.
April
Normal Weirdo :)
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 296 sx/so
Wow. Sandie. You have no clue how much I needed this right now.
Oh my lord, thank you. So much.
It's funny I just happened to come here, and here that song was. I am grateful for whatever led me here tonight. I was getting ready to comment that I hope you feel better with your fall and I just decided to click the song first. <3
Thank you, Sandie. <3 I do hope you feel better and I hope you can feel the light you've given me, if only for tonight. It is needed. *hugs*
Hi April
You are welcome and thank you. Wired as I am, I'm quite happy when something I say or do lightens another's way...or opens a heart.
Hugs to you too. My leg has a pretty purple blotch but it's not as sore.It's a power-filled song I think.
It touches a younger me place in my heart at a time when I was scared and wanted to give up...instead, it was in helping another that I was able to help myself. Since I've found out I'm a 2 on the Enneagram it makes sense that a sense of wholeness comes when I believe I'mhelping another...add in I'm a student of life as are we all, smiles and happy make all the difference when tackling life
I'm hoping YOU are feeling better today
♡