Thoughts on child beauty pageants?

[Entyqua]

I don't mean to disagree with what you're saying Entyqua but hopefully it won't be that bad... I think there are pressures coming from many angles, and our society can be quite warped when it comes to this. But I also see amazing things going on to promote girls (and boys) feeling good about themselves. I think our culture is slowly starting to transition. And we talk about this stuff much more so than we ever have in the past. With that, people get fed up and they mobilize, they become active, and they decide to change things for the better. And eventually, I honestly believe that things do get better.

In the meantime, we have a lot of influence on our children and the kids around us. I'm almost 25 and I've had girl friends who have NEVER dieted. NEVER. I'm certain their personality has played a big role in this but I can also say that the way they were raised is a testament to their attitudes about themselves and their bodies. I think their sisters are also pretty secure in themselves in that sense.

I can totally see your point...As a mother of a near tween it worries me. My daughter is absolutely beautiful and still says im not skinny mom im not pretty mom my teeth are straight. SHES EIGHT and not a pound over normal weight!

 

[Pristinegirl]

Ohh I see how frustrating that must be. Try to follow your mother instinct though, and be brutally honest about how dangerous and stupid it is to idealize such people. Explain in a childly matter, with alot of body language so that they can interpret that it is wrong. Even show pictures of ideals such as Paris Hilton or so, describing that she is crazy in a taleish manner.

Sink to their level, and they will most likely stay there a little longer rather than try to get up to your level. =)

 

[Soulful]

That is scary I'm sure Entyqua. I look at kids around me and I feel concerned about them too. I'm not sure what to say.. I guess I'm wondering if there are a lot of resources for parents (especially moms) in raising daughters with healthy self-image that you could access? I've read through similar things and I've found some helpful.. (not as a mom - I don't have kids).

 

[Entyqua]

We have told her since the day she was born how beautiful she is, we never put her down for anything...They pick it up from tv, movies, and other media. I work very hard to help her achieve self confidence. Im not sure what else I can do!

 

[Pristinegirl]

That is scary I'm sure Entyqua. I look at kids around me and I feel concerned about them too. I'm not sure what to say.. I guess I'm wondering if there are a lot of resources for parents (especially moms) in raising daughters with healthy self-image that you could access? I've read through similar things and I've found some helpful.. (not as a mom - I don't have kids).

I am not a mother either by the way, I have no kids but I do feel as if I have a well read understanding of what a mother could do with their children as I am one myself.

 

[Entyqua]

I have read up on a lot of self confidence resources as well. I do my best, but I cant change what is said to her at school...or seen on tv even the cartoon shows do it! Im not a psyco mom gonna ban all tv from my kid...

 

[Soulful]

I have read up on a lot of self confidence resources as well. I do my best, but I cant change what is said to her at school...or seen on tv even the cartoon shows do it! Im not a psyco mom gonna ban all tv from my kid...

Sorry, I didn't mean to suggest you hadn't, though I guess I worded that pretty poorly.

 

[Black Swan]

I think the best thing we can possibly do is role model for our daughters. There are of course some things about my physical features I'd like to change, but I never mention it in front of my daughter. I'll say to her: "I'm beautiful and so are you."

I think mother's with low self esteem are just as much to blame as media. We can't pick at ourselves and expect our daughters not to do the same as they grow up.

 

[Quinlan]

I can totally see your point...As a mother of a near tween it worries me. My daughter is absolutely beautiful and still says im not skinny mom im not pretty mom my teeth are straight. SHES EIGHT and not a pound over normal weight!

 

[Quinlan]

I think the best thing we can possibly do is role model for our daughters. There are of course some things about my physical features I'd like to change, but I never mention it in front of my daughter. I'll say to her: "I'm beautiful and so are you."

I think mother's with low self esteem are just as much to blame as media. We can't pick at ourselves and expect our daughters not to do the same as they grow up.

Isn't it a cycle though? Mothers growing up in the same negative environment their daughters have, it must be hard to set a true example, when everything else is telling you you're wrong.

 

[Black Swan]

Isn't it a cycle though? Mothers growing up in the same negative environment their daughters have, it must be hard to set a true example, when everything else is telling you you're wrong.

It is definitely a cycle, but it can be broken. For example, my mother was always picking at herself, and still does. As I grew older, I didn't take on my mother's definition of beauty (I also looked nothing like her)... I developed my own definition and found my own beauty. And with that came no longer being jealous of other girls, I could appreciate other beauties instead of beating myself up about something I wasn't. Ultimately, that's what needs to be passed on to our daughters.

 

[Ambrosia Lemon]

I find this so wrong, it hurts my heart to see little girls put up on display like that. I just can't understand why a parent would do that to their child. And yes as a mother of little girls I know that they are interested in make up and what not at a certain age but it should be in play, not judged. I hope my girls see that beauty is more on there inside that out, that is what I am teaching them. Well my best anyways.

 

[Soulful]

I think the best thing we can possibly do is role model for our daughters. There are of course some things about my physical features I'd like to change, but I never mention it in front of my daughter. I'll say to her: "I'm beautiful and so are you."

I think mother's with low self esteem are just as much to blame as media. We can't pick at ourselves and expect our daughters not to do the same as they grow up.

:clap2:

 

[Pristinegirl]

I believe that beauty is on the inside as well, alot is personality as well.
Often I see where you are going, low-esteem mother don't help the child. Because as hard as the mother may try to hide it, the child will notice it. They pick up the lots of things from their environment and their ability should not be underestimated. Often when I was a child I was told that I was very beautiful and such, although then I was told differently by some boys as I started school. They picked on me because I was 2 years younger - started school earlier than usual - and so the doubt crawled up my back.

 

[earthtocarrie]

Frankly, the video is highly disturbing. In some way, it does remind me of fodder for peodos.

Honestly, as much as I dislike child pageants (much of how I feel has been brought up by other users), I distinctly remember an ex-classmate of mine. She's a very confident person and attributes that to her participation in child pageants, singing competitions and all that jazz from a very young age.

 

[Pristinegirl]

To be honest, they are stunningly beautiful but like 4 years old.
I am aware it is a character, make up and a costume that is used to win a beauty pageant. But this gives the message that the child has to look like that in order to be praised for 'beauty'.
I am almost hypnotized by it, because yes they are beautiful but it is disgusting and so unreal. And children are genuine and do as they are learned, they don't know anything else and probably never will... This is the sad part!

 

[Entyqua]

Sorry, I didn't mean to suggest you hadn't, though I guess I worded that pretty poorly.

I was not offended...no worries...All i can do is just keep on telling her how lovely she is...keep her self esteem up!

 

[Shai Gar]

Society disgusts me. Society on one hand vilifies paedophilia, but on the other hand they try to make prepubescent girls into sexual objects.

 

[arbygil]

I absolutely detest these little girl pageants, and I always harken back to Jon Benet Ramsey's case. That little girl...*I don't even want to think about it now.*

But these little girls don't have little girl lives. And what happens when they turn ten or eleven? Will they be washed up has-beens? Are we breeding little Drew Barrymore basket cases?

Okay. *Steps off soapbox*

Truthfully, I think the idea of beauty must come from both parents, or the child often has a skewed idea of what beauty is. Mom can say it, but if Dad doesn't she's going to look for a male figure to call her beautiful. If Dad says it but not Mom, she might have that constant fight of trying to prove her worth to other women by looking better, acting better, etc. to the world.

My mother always called me ok, but my father had this improvement kick going on and stunted my (*NORMAL*) body by beginning me on diets at age 6 when the doctor said I was slightly overweight for my height. Well, of course I was; I had a bigger body type than most kids! But that set the wheels in motion, and so it goes.

I honestly think fathers can have a bigger impact on how a child views herself, but we don't see that enough in our society, either.

 

[Pristinegirl]

I absolutely detest these little girl pageants, and I always harken back to Jon Benet Ramsey's case. That little girl...*I don't even want to think about it now.*

But these little girls don't have little girl lives. And what happens when they turn ten or eleven? Will they be washed up has-beens? Are we breeding little Drew Barrymore basket cases?

Okay. *Steps off soapbox*

Truthfully, I think the idea of beauty must come from both parents, or the child often has a skewed idea of what beauty is. Mom can say it, but if Dad doesn't she's going to look for a male figure to call her beautiful. If Dad says it but not Mom, she might have that constant fight of trying to prove her worth to other women by looking better, acting better, etc. to the world.

My mother always called me ok, but my father had this improvement kick going on and stunted my (*NORMAL*) body by beginning me on diets at age 6 when the doctor said I was slightly overweight for my height. Well, of course I was; I had a bigger body type than most kids! But that set the wheels in motion, and so it goes.

I honestly think fathers can have a bigger impact on how a child views herself, but we don't see that enough in our society, either.

I completely agree and your take on the father is also very apparent yet are kept silent. A girl gaines her sense of self from her father, also I did not know that about the mother =) I am sorry you had to go through that of dieting at such a young age, personally I am familiar with it as my father would raise his voice and tell me to eat less. Also he would tell me to excersice and play outside more.

Furthermore very well read, The Jon Benett Ramsey case was so evil. Also I like Drew Barrymore, great actor with the most innocent roles, although in real life she was insano.

I wonder what their views are? what they consider important? what makes them tick? are they the typical stereoptype we would presume them to become? Do they sleep around?