I am sorry for being such a beginner, but I was wondering if anyone has tips for reaching a meditative state. I find it difficult to quiet my worries and fears. I have tried things like focusing on an object in the room, but I remain unsuccessful.
Annaā
When I first gave some form of meditation a try a couple of times when I was 18, I felt so overwhelmed with the rush of thoughts and feelings that I let it alone for more than a decade.
Then, when I became serious about pursuing breathing-based Zen meditation in my early 30s, it ended up being extremely meaningful. It certainly wasnāt because my mind had suddenly become quiet. There was still a tremendous rush of thoughts and feelings that often felt overwhelming, but I came to treat the practice as a discipline and kept returning to it anyway.
For the longest time, though, I had the internal posture that the goal was to think about nothingāto find a still mind.
I will say that there was a lot of long-term benefit from the emphasis I had at the time on keeping my attention only on my breath, and working for good Zen posture, etc. I even think there was benefit in trying to have an empty mind. BUTā¦
Over time, though, I came to feel differently about what the actual goal of meditation was for me. Instead of it being to empty my mind, it became simply to bring my attention repeatedly back to whatever thing I was bringing my attention to in meditationāin my case, my breathāwhen my thoughts continually presented themselves.
I came to just let my mind be as restless as it wanted to be. Sometimes it would settle down on its own when it was ready, and sometimes it wouldnāt.
One of the big shifts was that instead of thinking I should ignore my thoughts and feelings completely, I started giving them a proper nod before turning back to my breath. In other words, I would actually identify them before turning from them. That was revelational to me.
For what itās worth, Iāll just briefly describe the method I came to adopt for many years because it was so simple and easy for me to get started on.
Yes, I would sit on a zafu with my legs crossed, my back as straight as I could muster, and my hands in a connected āOā position resting on my lap, but the heart of it was dead simple: I counted my breath. I counted an in-breath and an out-breath as āoneā and ātwoā until I got to ten, and then started over.
While I committed to Zen-style breath work for many years, these days meditation looks a lot different for me. Iām a lot more relaxed about it.
I do tend to feel that being more formal in my approach initially benefited me. I donāt think starting off relaxed would have stuck as well, and now thereās a genuineness to the relaxedness that I donāt think I would have actually had back then. I mostly have stuck with somatically based meditation, though.
Sorry, kinda long there, but I just thought Iād chime in.
Meditation changed my life.
P.S.āOne other thingā¦I just remembered: when I was 18 a counselor gave me a copy of How to Meditate: A Guide to Self-Discovery by Lawrence LeShan. I havenāt read it in decades, so I canāt vouch for everything in it now, but I remember it being full of creative, out-of-the-box meditation ideas. If youāre just getting started and arenāt sure what kind of meditation fits you, it might be worth checking out.
You have all been so kind and helpful. I found your words lovely to read. You're so right, I need to just take the plunge. For me, fighting the fear has always felt like an essential first step. But sometimes you just need to jump, despite the fear. You can't reach anything higher, without a leap of courage.
