Weird cognitive functions results

slant said:
Alright. I don't like it though.
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I'm just teasing you but seriously, sounds kinda ENFP. And personally, I think ENFPs are the best. Social yet capable of being chill, deep and philosophical yet tons of fun... And an ethical mad scientist type of thinker. No one here can know you better than you can know yourself. No test can define you either, really.
 
acd said:
I'm just teasing you but seriously, sounds like ENFP. And personally, I think ENFPs are the best. Social yet capable of being chill, deep and philosophical yet tons of fun... And an ethical mad scientist type of thinker.
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I have a hard time dealing with ENFPs. I find them unreliable, unable to follow through, unfocused and in general very self absorbed. Also extremely codependent and concerned about what other people think about them that they'll change themselves in order to be better accepted. I've been good friends with a few ENFPs and much of the time the friendship ends because they were constantly unreliable and emotionally taxing.

It's mortifying to imagine myself this way, and if that's the case, I seriously need to take inventory and fix these problems. I would never want to impact people in that way.
 
for what it's worth, I rather like you the way you are
 
Aneirin said:
for what it's worth, I rather like you the way you are
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You really shouldn't. To live in a bubble of denial your entire life is not something to be appreciated. To be scattered, to refuse to commit to things, to care so much about what other people think about you that you become a shell of a person- these are not things to be admired. They're disruptive and disrespectful ways of living. And it's sad that some people are this way. Especially me, since I must be so far in my own denial that I cannot even recognize these traits in myself.

That is truly mortifying.
 
Alright. I've somewhat calmed down.

I don't know why so many people are perceiving me as an ENFP, but it doesn't resonate with me. Just in the same way that being a S doesn't resonate with me. I'm definably not a sensor.

It's frustrating when people do not perceive you the way you truly are, but I was the one who opened the door and you all answered.

Just because your answers were unhelpful doesn't mean I have to accept them or be upset by them. I wanted to go down the path of believing "well if people think this way there must be some truth in it", but all that matters is what I think. Again, frustrated that you all perceive me in a way that I dislike, but there's nothing I can do about that.

I've been around ENFPs. We are different. I also don't think I'm an extrovert. I most identify with INTJ. INFP kinda fits too. Especially with how angry I'm getting at you guys telling me how I am when I don't agree because all of the INFPs I know do that, they hate being put in boxes. Which is weird because I'm trying to put myself in a box desperately.

The reality is, I'm just trying to understand how I am. And it was silly to go to you guys in the first place to ask, as if you would know. I did give very accurate descriptions though and that should have been enough for all of you to figure it out. It's very baffling.

I think I need to let go of mbti ultimately. It's hard because I grew up with it as a framework to the world. I needed a system to help me understand other people.

But you can't boil people's identities down to traits. And the harder I try to fit into one of these labels the more frustrated I get. I just want to know who I am. Understand myself and be firm with who I am. And I am, and I do understand myself, but I can't seem to boil it into this system anymore. Which means I've outgrown it.

Yet I'm struggling to let it go.

I gotta work on that.

Thanks for typing me sorry for getting so argumentative and emotional about it but I'm definitely not an ENFP and in order to be objective I had to at least entertain the idea. But I can't accept something that I don't feel is true even if other people think I'm that way. I have to wake up with me every day- other people's perceptions are just that, their perceptions.

I do need to contemplate why the idea of being an ENFP troubled me so much. And I'm sorry to the ENFPs I've essentially torn through in insisting how much I dislike ENFPs and that's why I can't be one. I just have a lot of trauma with the way my relationships have gone with that personality type. My sister and a good friend of mine was ENFP and they more than anyone else hurt me deeply.

I have to accept there are some traits I do share with them. I'm scattered brained and don't finish projects; but that's my adhd but my personality. Everyone has negative qualities because every light casts a shadow.

But I'm definitely more judgemental and structured than an enfp. My enfp friend is so open minded and carefree that at times I want to pull her back to reality. I admire how she accepts everyone she meets but it comes at the cost of her not really having a strong sense of what she thinks... Being a bit too permissive of people. I think infp is going to be the best fit.

I am very developed in functions because of my traumatic childhood so that's why it can be confusing. I didn't want to accept infp because my mother is one and unhealthy, but I dunno generally relate to infps and get along with them so that's gonna be the label I suppose
 
I don't care what you are called, or what you "test" as. I have read your thoughts and seen your inner self shared with others. that's all I need to know to know who you are. You have a warm and giving heart and soul
 
I didn't mean to cause you any trouble. I don't think that any type reduces us to the be the shitty people we have known who may have been that particular type. I don't think you're condemned to be any of those things. It sounds like you aren't any of those things either. You also know yourself better than us or any test.
 
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acd said:
I didn't mean to cause you all that. I don't think that any type reduces us to the be the shitty people we have known who may have been that particular type. I don't think you're condemned to be any of things. It sounds like you aren't any of those things either. You also know yourself better than us or any test.
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You didn't cause it. I caused it to myself.
Aneirin said:
I don't care what you are called, or what you "test" as. I have read your thoughts and seen your inner self shared with others. that's all I need to know to know who you are. You have a warm and giving heart and soul
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I appreciate it.

I don't think it's the ENFP factor itself that's distressing.

It's more the idea, the possibility, that my perception of myself could be warped compared to the reality. I spend so much time trying to get to know myself and understand myself and being told I might be the complete opposite of that creates an identity crisis within me.

Am I right? Are they right? Is it a combination of both?

And if you don't know yourself but think you do, how can you ever progress from that? It just scares me to consider that possibility. I think it would scare anyone.
 
I don't know who I am. I'm creating a new me, a new version of myself that I never was before. It's scary. Mbti isn't going to give me identity especially during a time where I'm exploring myself and trying to understand. So a lot of this really had nothing to do with my mbti type and I apologize for taking it out on you guys.
 
Ren said:
One thing that got me wondering though, is something you said years ago (doesn't make us feel any younger eh) about INFPs being usually "very introverted" compared to other introverts. I was thinking recently that @slant would have to be a little bit of an exception since she doesn't seem like a very introverted introvert, if that makes sense.
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That doesn't seem to be the consensus on the old interwebs, with most people believing that INFPs are fairly extroverted as introverts go. E.g.:

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slant said:
It's frustrating when people do not perceive you the way you truly are
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True, but that's also literally impossible. You "perceive" yourself through introspection, or said in another way, through your introverted functions.
Other people perceive your extroverted functions.

And then there is the fact that their perceptions get warped by their own functions.

It's a whole mess.

Lonely too. :/
 
@slant I think you've had some bad experiences with ENFPs and it's affecting your perception. This is why I wanted to summon sassafras in here (who identifies as ENFP usually) for some perspective.

I had a similar opinion of INTJs - they clearly seemed to be arseholes and I rejected the label initially.

I think for you, though, the most fruitful line would be investigating your introversion, and disentangling that from something like 'social anxiety'.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
@slant I think you've had some bad experiences with ENFPs and it's affecting your perception. This is why I wanted to summon sassafras in here (who identifies as ENFP usually) for some perspective.

I had a similar opinion of INTJs - they clearly seemed to be arseholes and I rejected the label initially.

I think for you, though, the most fruitful line would be investigating your introversion, and disentangling that from something like 'social anxiety'.
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I don't have social anxiety. I used to think I did, but I realized I just don't like loud events or my space being invaded or talking to people I don't find interesting. It takes me time to warm up to people.

I like small, intimate settings with no more than three people to socialize. I'm a highly sensitive person so I pick up too many emotions when I'm around too many people and I'm very sensitive to noise and light and environmental factors.

I like to make a few extremely deep relationships. I hate acquaintances and have a difficult time engaging with people if we're not both invested a certain amount in each other's lives.

Even right now online dating is hard for me because this guy wants to go on a date but I'm already hanging out with my friend that week and I have an open Mike Saturday and Sunday and I have this star thing I'm going to do on Friday so I'm booked Thursday Friday Saturday and Sunday, I kinda want Monday Tuesday and Wednesday to chill.
 
Yep.

I am.

The COOL thing about this guy is that his job he's away for 8 days straight with no phone service and back for 6 days no work. I'm hoping it works out for that reason. Otherwise I'm going to have to date tech phobic long haul drivers or something.
 
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