What if fear of abandonment (6) is dealt with by building a highly individual identity, leading to fear of not being unique? (4)@Icedream For every ennetype there are general "base fears". For example the base / primal fear of a type 6 is abandonment. I think this is what she is getting at. What scares you more than anything in the world.. is the question here.. I think. Most INFJ's and some INFP's fall under the ennetype 4. For example I am an INFJ 4w5. My base fear is supposed to have to do not being unique or individual, which it also is for me too a big fear. But for me, I relate more to a 6 where fear is concerned, but I think this is because my instinctual variant is sexual. Why don't you take a good test that also gives your instinctual variant, if you are unsure, then read all the type discriptions and all the variant descriptions and see what really, truly fits you.. Only you will know the answer to that.
..... deepWhat if fear of abandonment (6) is dealt with by building a highly individual identity, leading to fear of not being unique? (4)
I think that's an issue I have as well. Do you loop a lot with Ti?
Now... *this* I can relate to.... And to be honest I rather like it.. I am too responsible and driven to allow this "dripping in Ni" state to rule me, but.. I do opt stubbornly to stay in it as much as I can get away with..When I'm in total Ni for too long, it's like not wanting to wake up from a dream, and the sensory world seems more like a dream than reality the moment I'm forced to reenter it.
Now... *this* I can relate to.... And to be honest I rather like it.. I am too responsible and driven to allow this "dripping in Ni" state to rule me, but.. I do opt stubbornly to stay in it as much as I can get away with..
LOL!!!... I can relate to those beasts too. But.. I have been through too many fires not to be made of steel.. And, well.. I whip myself a lot.I'm jealous!! I got no self discipline! My motivation is in total control by either the instant gratification monkey or the panic monster - I have no say in it!
It's definitely not fully developed, I agree, but with a little work it might even surpass mbti.
I get confused when I try to define my enneatype and functions because I've been drowning in influences and pieces of others for years, and I can't recognise anything about myself anymore. My mind isn't busy, but it's impossible to focus on how I work or how I could work better.
I think it is that, the 4 feels that they have to be 'special' to be worthy. Just being themselves isn't enough, they struggle to know who they are themselves and appreciate their own value...so they try and build a unique 'special' self. They think that maybe then they will be appreciated and valued, maybe then they will be good enough. In many ways though they can never be unique or good enough until they stop their endless gymnastics and just accept themselves.What if fear of abandonment (6) is dealt with by building a highly individual identity, leading to fear of not being unique? (4)
This is our dilemma, but I think that's the positive aspect of the 4 once it's achieved. Warmth, unconditional acceptance of self and others and emotional honesty. (By honesty I really mean competency)...because we've been hard on ourselves we can be more compassionate - once we've finally let ourselves off the hook.@Roobarb&Custard But would this not lead to the idea that all 4s are in some sense insecure about their own selves? I relate to what you said above, personally I'm very much that way. But I'm wondering if there are not also "secure and comfortable in their shoes" 4s. Or would this be a contradiction?
Thank you @Roobarb&Custard for this great insight into the type 4. It resonated with me at many levels.This is our dilemma, but I think that's the positive aspect of the 4 once it's achieved. Warmth, unconditional acceptance of self and others and emotional honesty. (By honesty I really mean competency)...because we've been hard on ourselves we can be more compassionate - once we've finally let ourselves off the hook.
I think the 'not feeling comfortable in our own skin' thing you mention is to do with the feeling of being inauthentic because of always trying so hard to 'be something', - we can't help but feel uncomfortable and to some degree inauthentic...and I think that comes back down to that 'not good enough' thing again. I know the INFJ is said to feel a bit outside of things sometimes, but I think as a 4 can feel that too.
It's a while since I read up on the 4 but I found it helpful, and it definitely resonated with me. This reminds me to look at it again. I think there's quite a lot in the enneagrams that adds a whole other layer to MBT.