"weird" INFJ

acd said:
Hi @Ren

Still a work in progress myself but I've made progress nonetheless. It starts with working on self awareness. You can't have boundaries without a defined sense of yourself. You have to learn to trust and rely on yourself and be firm and direct with others. That's different than being aloof and offensive and rude to push them away. Those are more reactive strategies based on someone not having a defined sense of themselves--at least from what I gather.

Like you, I tend to absorb the strong emotions of others and then the lines begin to blur, 'Am I angry, or anxious, depressed etc?' So I have to stay focused on my state and experience while hearing the other person because I went into the interaction feeling a certain way and their feelings are their own. It doesn't help anyone to get jumbled up in their problems and emotions. If that makes any sense. I really started thinking about it all after I read the book Awareness by Anthony De Mello years and years ago.
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Thanks for this @acd - It's really weird because your advice sounds so much like that of my close INFP friend. At least you know your type ;)

I think I may have to also explore the deeper recesses of my unconscious, to address the buried/repressed stuff, but your practical advice is appreciated.
 
Ren said:
Thanks for this @acd - It's really weird because your advice sounds so much like that of my close INFP friend. At least you know your type ;)

I think I may have to also explore the deeper recesses of my unconscious, to address the buried/repressed stuff, but your practical advice is appreciated.
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Godspeed. I think it's something most of us have to figure out.
 
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Wyote said:
Like a good philosopher, you figure out a brilliant idea and then immediately critique the hell out of it :m131:

Though I enjoyed that musing, this one is probably my favorite
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Thank you @Wyote, it means a lot. Not many people engage with my aphorisms, they tend to find them too abstract. I stick to them because it really is my dream to create a system built around the concept of the open essence (I have made diagrams, written dictionary entries, many things to try to get closer to it) but sometimes it can be lonely, so your words are really, sincerely appreciated.

Since you mentioned the section called "The Jest Kills the Laugh", I thought I would briefly mention how I got that idea, because the jest, and the jester in particular, play quite an important role in my framework. The insight is indeed that a jest always really ends not in laughter, but in the absence of it, once the laugh is over. I connected this insight to an experience I had in 2011 when, as the good geek that I was back then, I played the game Skyrim. But so that you understand the parallel, let me just briefly develop this idea of the jester first.

The jester (in my writing, that is) is what we are when we play a role, when we 'lie' to ourselves to feel better in the moment; but it’s also a little more than that. It’s us seeing ourselves playing a role, and with it, the fleeting recognition that we choose to play it. So when we see the jester, we actually (paradoxically) see the fragment of freedom in ourselves. We would much rather just see him as a prankster, because it’s easier. But in this permanent state of being joky, ironic even, there is a lot of sadness, I find, because it suggests that the self has been made to adapt to its environment to such an extent that the ‘costume’ has almost completely espoused the form of the body. The jester, in a way, is asking for help. But we won’t let him in, because he is the mirror in which we will see all the lies that we have been telling ourselves in order to shirk responsibility and feel better on the surface.

In Skyrim, one of the villains you have to fight is the boss of a group of Assassins called Cicero, a jester. Since you initially get to join the Assassins, you interact with him a bit before you get to fight him. That character always annoyed me in the extreme. I kept thinking that I wished he just accepted and openly embraced that he killed people and ordered others to kill people, instead of always acting like a never serious, joky character. And yet, when I got to kill him, I felt disturbed to a strangely great extent. I was looking forward to erasing his identity, but then I got almost upset by the fact that I killed him before he ever had the chance to find that identity for himself. During the fight he plays dumb, makes weird noises, jumps around, sings, he acts like a creepy buffoon, basically. But every time I hit him, every time I saw him fall to his knees and gasp for breath and look helpless, his humanity shone in plain sight. And I thought: the only way Cicero can be himself is if I hurt him. I found this realisation deeply disturbing and worth exploring in thought.

If we then wanted to tie this idea back to the open essence, we could say that the jester is a human being like Cicero who refuses to conceive himself as an open essence, because such a thing necessarily involves embracing chance and uncertainty, and these things induce anxiety (the 'dizziness of freedom'). Constantly joking can be seen as a way to avoid that anxiety by 'closing' oneself to possibility, by refusing to be serious about what one could actually do.

End of the monologue :)
 
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I just generally have trouble with text walls, especially when I'm being watched by other people.
 
Icedream said:
I just generally have trouble with text walls, especially when I'm being watched by other people.
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Either I'm a little dense or you speak in riddles like Nietzsche's Zarathustra!
 
MistyWrites said:
ouverture.. what a beautiful word. I love that concept, the idea you are trying to explore.

Human rights organisation?? Sigh... dreams.. That.. is my end goal! I want to make a decent mark in the world with my photography and or writing so that one day I can afford to do what I call "The Jolie thing".. and travel the world to countries where people are in dire need. Poverty is a huge weight on my heart. To go to these places and give not a temporary handout, but a hand up.. to help them grow strong as a people, build schools, have art, places to worship, income, dreams of their own.. the ability to express themselves through their own creative means, means the world to me. ( rant over ) :) What kind of humanitarian organisation.. o.o Fascinating.

I will look into your blog, for sure. I have one here also.. "Feel the flaming elmo feels".. There is a great deal of photography there and some poetry but if you ever want to see my main gallery just look at my current profile status and the link is there as of last night. I am interested to read your work.. Over the weekend I can have a look.. forgive me though with time as I am studying like mad too for my inburgeringsexamens now... What language do you speak? German? Do you know any Dutch yet? It is a Germanic language. I loveeee hearing other languages. Esp German.. it sounds like a beautiful version of French - Dutch to me.. if that made any sense.

Weird music tastes.. yes.. :) If you have spotify I will fire playlists at you.. If not I can post one of my youtube playlists here in a link etc..

And yes.. I love Holland. I will never go back unless they kick me out lol. I lived all over in the US because as a child my father was in the air force. Arizona is where I last lived.
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The organisation is called Justice Rapid Response. They specialise in deploying experts for investigations and fact-finding missions for cases of crimes against humanity, war crimes, etc. They fight against impunity and promote transitional justice. I have to say that I'm very excited by the idea of working for them. I won't be one of their experts on international criminal law, obviously - more involved in securing funding from governments and UN agencies, and improving monitoring/evaluation procedures. Like my current job, it requires heavy use of Fe and Ti (meeting diplomats, etc.) but I guess I don't mind that so much. Incidentally, my current boss is an INFP and I find that her Fi is pretty catastrophic in that kind of setting! There is a disproportionate number of INFJs in nonprofits, I have met at least one in each organisation I've worked for. All pretty happy with their job, I think. Working for a cause can be satisfying for us folk.

Please tell me more about the jolie thing :) Meanwhile, I'll make sure to have a look at your blog. I understand that it's on the INFJs forum, right?

I am a French native. Henceforth, if you ever feel like I'm saying pretentious things, I'll have a solid alibi.
 
Ren said:
The organisation is called Justice Rapid Response. They specialise in deploying experts for investigations and fact-finding missions for cases of crimes against humanity, war crimes, etc. They fight against impunity and promote transitional justice. I have to say that I'm very excited by the idea of working for them. I won't be one of their experts on international criminal law, obviously - more involved in securing funding from governments and UN agencies, and improving monitoring/evaluation procedures. Like my current job, it requires heavy use of Fe and Ti (meeting diplomats, etc.) but I guess I don't mind that so much. Incidentally, my current boss is an INFP and I find that her Fi is pretty catastrophic in that kind of setting! There is a disproportionate number of INFJs in nonprofits, I have met at least one in each organisation I've worked for. All pretty happy with their job, I think. Working for a cause can be satisfying for us folk.

Please tell me more about the jolie thing :) Meanwhile, I'll make sure to have a look at your blog. I understand that it's on the INFJs forum, right?

I am a French native. Henceforth, if you ever feel like I'm saying pretentious things, I'll have a solid alibi.
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Ha.. Life is so ironic, isn't it? The Jolie thing is.. lol.. just a nickname I give to my end goal in life to travel and help the poor build a life, security for family, dreams of their own. I just call it that because I really admire Angelina Jolie, both her personal strength as a woman, I relate to it.. and in her work with the poor and defenseless. I have enormous respect for people who care for innocents.

"And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." A fave verse

Yes, the blog is here.. I made it almost a year ago I think. Only the last 4 to 6 pages are recent, or so. Life is busy, it is likey easier to just click the link to see my main photography gallery anyway. The link is my current status. Unless you wish to read me babble about intensity and depth some more, which the first few pages of the blog is utterly overflowing with. o.o

French? That's very cool.. So, I hear that the French are not fond of Americans.. Guess I count as a Dutchie soon anyway, so I'm safe..
 
MistyWrites said:
French? That's very cool.. So, I hear that the French are not fond of Americans.. Guess I count as a Dutchie soon anyway, so I'm safe..
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I am fond of Americans :) I spent quite a bit of time in the US for my doctoral research. Always was welcomed with great warmth over there.
 
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