"weird" INFJ

Roobarb&Custard said:
I'm not sure if that was meant for me @Icedream?

...I think it's a really interesting when you notice this. Maybe it's to do with the shadow side of some trait expressing itself??
These are probably not good examples, but off the top of my head...
e.g. easy going and relaxed freedom loving people showing areas in their attitudes or life in which they are uptight.
loving and tolerant people having bind spots in their attitudes towards others.
generous hearted people behaving mean in certain specific ways..
etc. etc.
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These are perfectly good examples :) some paradoxes in people can truly be fascinating. The most interesting for me at the minute, is the behaviour of an INFP friend who is somehow managing to delude himself into thinking that secretly dating four people at the same time is okay.

In the specific case of INFJs though, I'd be curious to see if we can identify some specific patterns of this imbalance. What I like about your explanation is how you speak of contrasts - so in a way, having certain traits typically not seen as INFJ traits would almost make more sense than just having random 'negative' traits.
 
Ren said:
having certain traits typically not seen as INFJ traits would almost make more sense than just having random 'negative' traits.
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I'm not sure were all so similar within typology, I think it's more likely that types tend to express themselves in certain ways. All people though I think are contradictory in some respects.
 
Roobarb&Custard said:
I'm not sure were all so similar within typology, I think it's more likely that types tend to express themselves in certain ways. All people though I think are contradictory in some respects.
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I completely agree with you on that. The notion of tending towards is a very useful one to preserve individuality within types.
 
Ren said:
(Strange thought: this discussion thread reminds me of the first encounter between Alyosha and Ilyusha Snegiryov in The Brothers Karamazov.

Ah, Ni.)
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I'm sorry I don't know it.
 
@Icedream, there's always confusion when you start a new account. I was alot more confused, lol. Takes a bit of practice.
 
Roobarb&Custard said:
I'm sorry I don't know it.
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Maybe if I have time later I'll explain why I had that thought. It would be completely impossible to explain in a regular real-life conversation, but with a bit of effort I think I can write down my thought process. We'll see.

I'd encourage you to discover Dostoyevsky if you enjoy writers who explore their characters' psyches with extreme depth and insight.
 
@Ren I just looked at his published list, he wrote a huge amount of novels, I don't think I've read any, maybe just the short story collection? ...Your right I should check it out.
 
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Icedream said:
Confusion?
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What confusion, I'm confused?
Lol.
Nothing personal meant there. I just personally took time to work it all out, e.g. if you tag someone or write a response within a reply, the other person gets that tag as it highlights in their alerts, etc. It took me weeks to find an Avi even, I didn't know how to do that, although it turned out to be pretty easy. People on here were taking the piss because it looked like I'd come out of another (wi-fi free) century!
 
Icedream said:
Some would disagree with that, saying it's more of a hidden, closeted trait.

I definitely think it's a defense mechanism, but it's more than just weeding out the bad people. At the time, I felt it necessary for "survival."
I will tell you this: It seems I drew from traits I saw in some of the worst people I know in order to put up this front. There are also people I’ve met who use the same defense mechanism, but to a greater extreme.
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Do you find yourself in a bad mood a lot? Resentful and envious of others, and are so easily annoyed that you just mke remarks? I sometimes get that way bc I'm an unhealthy INFJ and I also identify with type 2 enneagram but also unhealthy, and I absolutely hate it. I just want to be me. But I feel like people just claw at me and take and use and give nothing back except maybe a tease, just to break me again... And it hurts and I'm broken so I do snap and get easily annoyed a lot... Wonder if thats what's going on?
 
Ren said:
I think you're slowly opening up Icedream, you just used the word "sorry" which I think is the opposite of rude... ;) just teasing!
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Lol. I don't have to be rude right now.

Roobarb&Custard said:
What confusion, I'm confused?
Lol.
Nothing personal meant there. I just personally took time to work it all out, e.g. if you tag someone or write a response within a reply, the other person gets that tag as it highlights in their alerts, etc. It took me weeks to find an Avi even, I didn't know how to do that, although it turned out to be pretty easy. People on here were taking the piss because it looked like I'd come out of another (wi-fi free) century!
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Oh. Well I have about five years of experience on forums right now, so most of this comes easily. The @ feature is new to me though.
 
April said:
Do you find yourself in a bad mood a lot? Resentful and envious of others, and are so easily annoyed that you just mke remarks? I sometimes get that way bc I'm an unhealthy INFJ and I also identify with type 2 enneagram but also unhealthy, and I absolutely hate it. I just want to be me. But I feel like people just claw at me and take and use and give nothing back except maybe a tease, just to break me again... And it hurts and I'm broken so I do snap and get easily annoyed a lot... Wonder if thats what's going on?
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Yes, I felt like that a lot, even to the point of losing several people I would consider my closest friends. I am on my way to recovery, and hope I can help you somehow in the future.
 
Icedream said:
The @ feature is new to me though.
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Well you come better equipped than me then!
Lol, it was you who mentioned 'confusion' to start with.
Yes the @ feature is a nifty thing. :smile:
 
Roobarb&Custard said:
Yes I see what you mean. I guess it does sound healthier although it turns out it's almost the same thing. I think that people have deep contradictions in their character and behaviour and that in a way these are perhaps an unconscious expression of some imbalance - or an attempt to counteract an imbalance. If you get to know people you almost always notice aspects of their personality or behaviour that seem surprising because they contrast with other traits of the person you think you know, and seem to contradict your idea of who they are.

Then again perhaps my explanation doesn't explain the phenomena at all. We behave unconsciously in reaction to so many things, with little or no knowledge that were even doing it, or let alone why. I think it's fascinating that the vast majority of our 'awareness' is on an unconscious level and is not even registered. If we know so little about ourselves, how can we begin to explain the behaviour of others?
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Or, people are like me. Just a huge contradiction in a nutshell. I am always on both sides of most things, I am so full of contradictions that some would say I am two faced or fake, but thats so far from the truth.
 
Roobarb&Custard said:
Well you come better equipped than me then!
Lol, it was you who mentioned 'confusion' to start with.
Yes the @ feature is a nifty thing. :smile:
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ohhh I see what you mean XD

I was ninja'd and didn't care enough to edit the post to make it clear I was speaking to you, so I apologized for causing confusion.
 
Roobarb&Custard said:
@Ren I just looked at his published list, he wrote a huge amount of novels, I don't think I've read any, maybe just the short story collection? ...Your right I should check it out.
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He did! Maybe not a huge amount, but a good few, each containing a huge amount of pages ^^ The one I'm reading at the moment is 1.3k pages long, but it's so profound and captivating that I wouldn't mind it being twice as long. It's really easy to read, no pretension, no jargon, all substance. Reading him makes me feel more intelligent. I suppose I couldn't ask for much more.

Just to quickly broach another message you wrote: does "avi" mean avatar? Jeez, I'm so old. Anyway, if that should be the case, be aware that your avi is awesome.
 
April said:
Do you find yourself in a bad mood a lot? Resentful and envious of others, and are so easily annoyed that you just mke remarks? I sometimes get that way bc I'm an unhealthy INFJ and I also identify with type 2 enneagram but also unhealthy, and I absolutely hate it. I just want to be me. But I feel like people just claw at me and take and use and give nothing back except maybe a tease, just to break me again... And it hurts and I'm broken so I do snap and get easily annoyed a lot... Wonder if thats what's going on?
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I do get into those states when I'm in a bad mood, or when I feel particularly high-strung. Have you been able to identify what prevents you from "being you"?
 
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