TinyBubbles
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it's not much fun lacking Te and being perpetually disorganized and pressed for time either >< all NTJs i've known have been great at accomplishing things.
What Does Te Look Like?
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it's not much fun lacking Te and being perpetually disorganized and pressed for time either >< all NTJs i've known have been great at accomplishing things.
Feelings
Banned
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Haha I'm the Te king! My entire life revolves around it, no joke. Everything is assessed for it's usefulness to me. Everything, period. Yes, everything. Even emotionality is assessed in this way.
I.e. I respond to this thread because I feel some sort of release in talking about this. Not to help you or anyone else, not really. It's just because it does something for me, emotionally.
I.e. I'm nice to people because of how it makes ME feel. Not because it's great for them, not really. It makes me feel good, and that's why I do it.
I.e. I respond to this thread because I feel some sort of release in talking about this. Not to help you or anyone else, not really. It's just because it does something for me, emotionally.
I.e. I'm nice to people because of how it makes ME feel. Not because it's great for them, not really. It makes me feel good, and that's why I do it.
So your intentions are oriented towards self-interest, but others incidentally benefit anyway.
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I think that's a good way to do things.
The other answer I'd accept is orientation towards others, but you benefit anyway.
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The world works better when everyone looks out for their own self interest.
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[MENTION=3122]Nevermore[/MENTION]; How so? I am interested to hear from someone who has a good and personal understanding of the function.
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This vaguely reminds me of Adam Smith's invisible hand argument.
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Im pretty sure that is where I got it from.
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I dont think T or F is fun any way you slice it. It is just a matter of evaluation.
I think J is what is fun.
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Going with the flow is something that requires work rather than relaxation and it's not much fun to lack a natural rapport with most people. The world favours those who get along well over skill in many cases. There are times when I want to be very emotionally expressive with someone and in the moment I think I am being so, but in reflection I just came across as awkward or fake.
From the outside it seems like a golden pass to be able to live your life without caring about societal expectations and to shake off the shackles of emotional manipulation. But at the same time it's hard to live within society but not actually be a part of it, in terms of acceptance. I am emotional and at times insecure but it all gets locked away behind this facade of logic. It hurts me to not be able to have the ability to easily express how I am feeling to a partner or a friend in a way they understand. People tend to think I am rock solid emotionally and come to me with their problems but are unwilling to listen to me if I have one. I usually get a response something like....'well you always know what to do, or you'l get over it'.
TinyBubbles
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what kind of response are you really looking for though?
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Thank you for sharing this; I see a lot of it in my INTJ friend, especially the bolded part.
Sadly, he gets that response a lot from his gf and some of his friends. My friend is very smart, and does almost everything perfectly at school; because of that if he ever voices his concerns about a test, an exam or anything in general, he always gets: "You're smart, you'll figure it out." as a response. The hurt expression on his face is very subtle but I see it.
I think the problem here could be lack of frequent emotional expression?
when NTJs express a concern about a problem, the best response and way to help is offer a solution, or at least work with them to find a solution(aka brainstorming) when it comes to feelings, I found that helping them find the logic behind those emotions makes NTJs comfortable and at ease when expressing them or when they confronted by a new kind of feelings.
With my INTJ friend, there's an established level of trust. If he ever feels uneasy about something or even extremely happy, he has no qualms expressing that (even if awkwardly) because there is no prejudice or expectations to live up to on my part.
Also, offering comfort (aka fluffiness) may not always work for NTJ as it might work for NFJ. They can find it annoying sometimes, if it isn't accompanied by some sort of solution to whatever problem they have. However, I am only generalizing here (based on my personal experience), but there can always be exceptions.
Nevermore probably has clearer insight on this. =)
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Razare
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Te is focused on the external environment. Imagine how we use our Fe; it's just like that, except directed at organizing, basic logic, and planning.
Visually, a person using it will have what we would call a straight-face. To an INFJ it might look like they're telling a joke. Imagine telling straight-faced jokes, except without any intent of making a joke; plus the possibility of being too outwardly critical.
Te critical is not the same as Fe critical.
Te critical is stating facts and barking out orders, which disrupts social harmony because no concern is given for anything emotional, which devalues the needs of most people to be respected.
Fe critical is having an emotional outburst of criticism about someone. "That person is just no good, they're always lieing, you can't trust them!"
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See as an INFJ, we are theoretically good actors and our trickster function is Te, if you're using shadow function theory. We innately perceive Te as tricky, so we tell jokes in that mode. Even if we don't possess Te for real, we can act it out and get a feel for what it is, I believe, without actually using it.
A response of substance. Something that tells me the other person isn't just itching for the chance to depart, or has even listened. To make it clear I would only offer that kind of response if I was really bored of the other person or wasn't listening in the first place. To me, it feels like a palm off and I feel devalued in that moment.
I'm not sure it's my Te that makes me organised I think it's my J which in my case has reached epic proportions of the ocd kind. My J can't stand things hanging in the balance. It needs to push for a conclusion one way or the other. So no, my shoes definately can not sit in the middle of the loungeroom where I kicked them off, they must go on the shoe rack before I sit down. If I've finished cooking I must 'finish' the kitchen by cleaning before I leave that room. I must leave the house by doing things in a certain order (checklisting so I know everything's done) therefore my keys must go on the key hook and nowhere else so that my checklist is not disturbed. Are you getting a sense of the hell I exist in? Its not so much I think organising is fun, its a compulsion to avoid disruption which is the root of it.
Last minute plan changes can be almost suicidal moments for me. Every P friend I had, has been let go of because they are so stress inducing in my life. The only place I can handle that chaos is oddly at work but that's because last minute swaps are part of the nature of my work and I expect them and plan accordingly. It's the real surprises that cut 6 years off my life in that moment. I'm so glad no-one has thrown me a surprise party in years because I fear I might grab the cake knife and stab someone.
Interesting. As a Te dominant I innately mistrust anything expressed 'with feeling'. Feelings can come across as disingenuous to me. I'm always questioning the motive behind every emotion and see most outward expressions of it as an act.
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J? Fun? In what universe?
Trifoilum
find wisdom, build hope.
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Can you...explain more about this? What do you mean by the logic behind those emotions? What would be considered fluffiness and comfort, as opposed to giving solutions or brainstorming?
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In real life not rainbow robotic unicorn world.
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Yes, because rearranging your DVD collection in reverse alphabetical order according to publisher is a real wild night out.