What Is a Good Man?

Gaze said:
But that's your personal view and interpretation, and not applicable to everyone. Each person was asked to give their own views on this. Our views don't have to match. Each of us have our own experiences of mothers or fathers. It's not fair to paint all father figures with negative connotations. If I had said mother figure, few would have a problem with that but someone else could come along and say, they had bad experiences with mother figures in their lives. Just a mother figure may have been a saving grace for one persona, a father figure may have been a saving grace for another. You have a right to your view, but not everyone has to share it. It's not fair to impose a personal view on someone's personal experience. We are different people, and will see things through the lens of our own personal experience. And I think it's a huge disservice to perceive father figures only in negative terms when we clearly have so many great fathers here on our forum. So, father figure shouldn't have to be a dirty word if it means something good and positive in someone's life.
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That's not what I meant. I am probably biased by my own experience, and I didn't want to devalue your opinion, which I do value. I just meant that I don't like the words, because they are unnecessarily generalistic. The words are based in a traditional system of roles which are attributed to either gender, and nowadays the roles are not just blurred, in some cases they are even reversed. We can of course say that some people have certain attributes which someone might refer to as belonging to a "father/mother figure", but in reality those are imo not relevant terms anymore.
 
Wyote said:
That seems overzealous and entirely false.
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I suppose. I just don't see there being a discussion now with that you have stated. That's all.
 
Ginny said:
That's not what I meant. I am probably biased by my own experience, and I didn't want to devalue your opinion, which I do value. I just meant that I don't like the words, because they are unnecessarily generalistic. The words are based in a traditional system of roles which are attributed to either gender, and nowadays the roles are not just blurred, in some cases they are even reversed. We can of course say that some people have certain attributes which someone might refer to as belonging to a "father/mother figure", but in reality those are imo not relevant terms anymore.
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I didn't feel you were devaluing my opinion. What I am explaining is that you can't dictate to someone how to feel about something. They decide this for themselves. To say father figure is irrelevant is a matter of opinion, not fact. We are from different cultures around the world, and have different experiences of gender and family growing up. What is perceived as negative in one context, maybe positive in another. Hate to say it this way, but the more you learn about the world, the more you will realize that there is more than one way to view things outside of your own personal experience of it. Not everyone will or must feel the same as you, and it's important to respect those differences instead of denouncing them as bad or outdated.
 
Gaze said:
I didn't feel you were devaluing my opinion. What I am explaining is that you can't dictate to someone how to feel about something. They decide this for themselves. To say father figure is irrelevant is a matter of opinion, not fact. We are from different cultures around the world, and have different experiences of gender and family growing up. What is perceived as negative in one context, maybe positive in another. Hate to say it this way, but the more you learn about the world, the more you will realize that there is more than one way to view things outside of your own personal experience of it. Not everyone will or must feel the same as you, and it's important to respect those differences instead of denouncing them as bad or outdated.
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You didn't read properly then, because it was just what I said, that it is MY opinion and MY feeling about it. Nothing else.
 
Wyote said:
It's too bad I'm such a potato. A kind warm potato.

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I would have this In the bag then.
 
Ginny said:
You didn't read properly then, because it was just what I said, that it is MY opinion and MY feeling about it. Nothing else.
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Sharing your opinion is good. I have no problem with that. What you may not realize is that you were stating your opinion as a fact, in reference to what I wrote. Disagreement is fine, but you were pretty much telling me that what I wrote was wrong. Your wording was the issue, not that you had a different opinion.
 
Gaze said:
Sharing your opinion is good. I have no problem with that. What you may not realize is that you were stating your opinion as a fact, in reference to what I wrote. Disagreement is fine, but you were pretty much telling me that what I wrote was wrong. Your wording was the issue, not that you had a different opinion.
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Then I will strive to be more careful in the future, thank you :)
 
E
hush said:
*had typed up something long and deeply personal, erased it all*

Just... just be good, to people.
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Even the bad ones?
 
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