When You are Withdrawn

[sassafras]

I used to withdraw to extent that you're describing when I was severely, clinically depressed, so my knee-jerk reaction is not to prolong my period of isolation beyond the minimum I need to re-charge my batteries (usually a week, at most). If I'm "out of it" for too long I slide back into some pretty nasty, unproductive habits that take weeks to break again.

Not to say that this is the case here, of course. You know yourself best, but I'll at least be honest and say that the type of isolation you're talking about is making me raise my eyebrows. I think almost all introverts need to go into hermit mode every once in a while, and I can totally understand that, but realize that when you're totally alone, completely unplugged from society, you may be more vulnerable to those very negative vibes you're trying to shield yourself against.

As for your friends and family... if they're really worried and they're having trouble understanding this super-extended holiday of yours, they might be right to do so.

Use your own, careful discretion here.

 

[floatingbridge]

I'm pretty new here, like today new.

But I have to jump right on in and ask a question.

When you are going/are into a Loner Cycle, how do you deal with family/friends who don't understand it?

I'm in the phase right now, and I think people are mad at me but I don't care. I kind of feel bad but then I don't.

I don't explain anything. I just go there and stay there for as long as needed. I have a feeling this one will be about 60-90 days. I'm about 45 days in now. I feel like I've been pushed to my maximum with the emotional overload and needy people who want to use me and hang me out to dry without a second thought. Which I'm used to, but still it gets to be unbearable sometimes. And I felt like I was about to snap....

I have only been associating with people I barely know. I can't explain that one but it feels great.

So...how and what do you do to handle it?

Yes, definately feeling one right now...it varies, and also depends on how unlucky you are at the time being surrounded by emotionally-selfish people.

Funny, saying all of this makes me feel better...

Mostly, it's the small things that add up...the favour having to ask twice, the question been told three times, the two voices in your head (lol)...and the 'paranoia' that things aren't in the right place...*sigh*

 

[WellNoWonder]

I used to withdraw to extent that you're describing when I was severely, clinically depressed, so my knee-jerk reaction is not to prolong my period of isolation beyond the minimum I need to re-charge my batteries (usually a week, at most). If I'm "out of it" for too long I slide back into some pretty nasty, unproductive habits that take weeks to break again.

Not to say that this is the case here, of course. You know yourself best, but I'll at least be honest and say that the type of isolation you're talking about is making me raise my eyebrows. I think almost all introverts need to go into hermit mode every once in a while, and I can totally understand that, but realize that when you're totally alone, completely unplugged from society, you may be more vulnerable to those very negative vibes you're trying to shield yourself against.

As for your friends and family... if they're really worried and they're having trouble understanding this super-extended holiday of yours, they might be right to do so.

Use your own, careful discretion here.

Thanks, I have been thinking about what you wrote me...I appreciate every word, really, and to reassure you, I know you are not "judging" me. In fact, all of you at this board have given me all the advice in just these few days that I have needed over the course of 5 years. Go figure....

So, last night, I had all of these things going wrong. My kids were getting on my nerves, the house was (is) trashed, a buyer for something I'm selling bailed on me and I needed the cash. I'm at the point now where I refuse to ask people to borrow money.

I was starting to go Shadow for a minute and then I stopped myself, sat down at the PC and logged into my bank account. Out of nowhere, I notice that the bank owes me $140. Like that... I needed to be able to solve this issue on my own, without hearing 4 million suggestions and being pitied, and being judged about where my money is going to.

If I don't go into these Withdrawal modes, I seem to become overly dependent on others to compensate in areas of my life that I am not handling well, and then if they don't live up to my expectations, I'm disappointed, as if I have the right to be disappointed. So I am learning to work on the areas that I need to work on, but do it from my viewpoint, instead of dealing with the letdown later.

You are right. I think it is excessive. However, I am not depressed. I have my moments of spontaneous teary oubursts, and rages of curse words yet I am instantly corrected by my 2 year olds(lol really). However, I FEEL so much better. I FEEL like myself.

Right now, I think I need to be handling some business, internally, and I have not done this ever since I moved back to Michigan (left my stbx husband in the Pacific NW). I have just been existing outside of my own world, and I need this extended introversion. I don't think it will last until Spring though, not even past the end of January. There is a possibility, but if I do, it will be because of some projects I have been developing, and I'd rather not have much outside input because of how personal they are to me.

 

[WellNoWonder]

Yes, definately feeling one right now...it varies, and also depends on how unlucky you are at the time being surrounded by emotionally-selfish people.

Funny, saying all of this makes me feel better...

Mostly, it's the small things that add up...the favour having to ask twice, the question been told three times, the two voices in your head (lol)...and the 'paranoia' that things aren't in the right place...*sigh*

Yes! And I trust my paranoia 100%. Took me til my 30s to trust it but I do. As SOON as I get the paranoia, I retreat. Otherwise, I will regret it later.