I'm much more inclined to believe that butting heads is a result of Enneagram personality type conflict. MBTI personality conflict is a matter of difference in perspective, however if the ego is tied to our inherent perspectives, these differences can result in ego clashes.
That said, ESTJs can annoy and frustrate me like no other type due to the extreme lack of seeing eye to eye rapidly turning into a clash of wills (and I am not one to abide a challenge of wills). When they offend me, it's a combination of unempathic insisting upon complience to their demands and being unreasonably closed minded about any other options. I know some well adjusted ESTJs, and have never had any conflicts with them. Very good people, and very intelligent. As long as the ESTJs don't get pushy with me, or inherently dismissive of the fact that I don't think like them, we actually do quite well together in professional settings.
ENFPs are the close runner up, and I can't count the number of times I've wanted to strangle an ENFP (not the same ENFP, but many of them). Oddly, for nearly the same reasons as with ESTJs, except that they add to the plate a whole new level of emotional indignance and insistence, flying off the handle at percieved offenses which only degenerate when any manner of defense of their accusations is offered. Once they've decided how they feel, they will make up reasons to validate their feelings. It's like having to deal with extremely intelligent 3 year olds when they're having a tantrum. However, well adjusted ENFPs, especially ENFP Enneagram 9s, are amazing people and I adore them. We spring board off of one another extremely well, and compliment each others weaknesses with our strengths.
ISTJs and I often don't have a similar perspective, but for some reason this rarely turns into a clash of wills so much as a stand off. More often than not, I'm the one who offends them (unintnetionally), but we tend to admire each others' differences. If they offend me it's because they're being unreasonably closed minded. They seldom explain to me what it is that I've done to annoy them other than "You annoyed me".
INFPs are a special case. I love them. In fact, I adore them. But, I've also had some really intense clashes with them. These usually get resolved, but they can be frequent. It's a lot of up and down. Rollercoaster really. I often wonder if they are the rollercoaster all by themselves, or if it's a result of our interaction.