Why do we need relationships?

Why do we need relationships?

I think humans as a social animal need companionship to varying degrees, but a relationship? No. It isn't necessary for happiness and I think most people act on the instinctual drive to procreate, and then on top of that, the societal pressures put on all young adults that command that the next steps in life after education (college for some, but even my generation was pressured right after HS to get married and start popping out babies) is career and marriage. Companionship can definitely be satisfied with healthy relationships within a circle of family and friends.
 
Sloe Djinn said:
Sex as the only motivator? No, we're pretty well programmed that way. People spend their lives looking for a soulmate because they are idealistic. We shun/admire others based upon our learned values and biological programming. Lots of people get bored or claustrophobic spending every day with one person. Why not just kill two birds with one stone and sex your family (jokes)? Yes people think about these things.

I don't think we are inherently monogamous creatures, but that many people's adherence to monogamy is more social convention than biology. That's of course not an excuse to cheat.
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Thank you for that. Well I guess it must be me as I do feel a bit suffocated by people, especially when they come on too strong. I don't know, maybe I'll change with time. Lol family are so not my thing haha. I get you about the monogamy thing, everyone has their own preference though , when it comes to that anyway.
 
Ryso89 said:
The older I get, the more interested I am in meeting someone worthwhile, to build a life with. A best friend, but a partner.
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Oh, trust me. You're not alone here.
But often I have the same questions. Beyond the physiological need for intimacy, what's the point? I don't want kids, ideally.
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There's benefits to being a parent. When you're raising people you've got their back, and in exchange for raising them to be self-reliant, they have your back in the future.
I'm more than terrible at surface level communication, so meeting people is extremely hard.
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Always say less than necessary.
Dating apps are miserable. I've had one decent connection, but I'm skeptical of most women's intentions. I can't really trust that anyone is genuine lately.
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At the end of the day, girls just want to have fun. Don't chase them, when you're successful, they come to you.
If dating is causing me so much stress and anger, why do I put up with it?
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Because life's a competition and you don't want to be in last place.
 
after a lifetime of trainwreck relationships I think have figured out that for me the first thing to do is improve my relationship with myself. Do we need relationship? I think on many levels we do, but the most important one is with ourselves. The care and feeding of INFJ's in a relationship is hard to navigate sometimes and gets us into trouble.
 
Aneirin said:
after a lifetime of trainwreck relationships I think have figured out that for me the first thing to do is improve my relationship with myself. Do we need relationship? I think on many levels we do, but the most important one is with ourselves. The care and feeding of INFJ's in a relationship is hard to navigate sometimes and gets us into trouble.
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Absolutely correct! Self-love is essential for a potential healthy and long-term relationship. If you can’t love yourself, how do you expect anyone else to love you?

A good chunk of people go into relationships lacking that self-esteem and love, and end up going for unhealthy relationships. Unfortunately, I was one of those people and my last relationship tore me. I was completely heartbroken and insecure.

I’ve been single for nearly two years now, and I have been doing nothing but self-love and work into myself, and I am so happy and fulfilled. I think I reached to the point that I don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy because I finally got to that level of self-love and acceptance, I enjoy my own company.

If I ever end up in a relationship or not, I am completely content either way. Although I love the feeling of love, being alone is also amazing and peaceful as well. :blush:
 
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