Why it sucks to be an INFJ

David Nelson said:
Yes I hope there’s a future where we have our brains in jars and we are nourished automatically and stimulated so that our minds are blissfully happy experiencing all kind of emotional and sensory highs. That’s the best hope for escaping earthly reality. The solar-powered robots can do this for us. You can see I’ve given this some thought lol
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Cheers,
Ian
 
John K said:
Hi @ErikAlberto and welcome to the forum.

I find one of the hazards of our type is picking up vibes from others they don’t know they are giving off. It can be hard to work out sometimes whether it’s background emotional noise in them or whether it’s a definite judgement. Many other types don’t have this sort of awareness so don’t realise that we do. Mostly it isn’t a judgement on us at all, but just other people living with their own shadows. It can be hard for us to deal with it because demons :D
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That’s a mature perspective. Those are excellent points that we should all take into account, John K. It has proven invaluable in my own journey to try to remind myself that while I know the energy I tune in to in other people is never made up, it’s not always personal and that I need to always allow for the possibility that I could be projecting.

Thank you for welcoming me.
 
David Nelson said:
Yes, without typological understanding as an INFJ, I think a major confusion for us is we tend to naturally assume others pick up vibes like we do. So this inhibits us, and creates all kinds of convoluted overthinking.
I suspect most other types don’t appreciate us all that much, or if they do, it’s that of a false impression of us which they seem happy to leave unexplored.
While this subject allows great understanding of self and other types, ultimately we cannot know what it really feels like to be another type. It would be fascinating if we could but we can’t. Our lives are all uniquely different and we experience life and others in unique ways. Note while ‘unique’ has positive implications, the gaps between us I find are ultimately sources of deep, irresolvable sadness, especially for INFJs who seek deep connections. This is part of INFJ suffering, the lack of mutual understanding. I have become almost? viscerally and painfully aware of these gaps lately, along with gaps in understanding in all areas of life, which while providing opportunities to make improvements ultimately will probably exist indefinitely and be a perpetual source of frustrations. I’m sure it’s one reason for INFJ depression. But, if we were all the same, and there were no problems or challenges to address, would that be ideal?
Anyhows, enough philosophical discussion for now lol
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You said a lot of weighty things there, David Nelson — all of which really resonate with my own experience. I feel like it would be easy to engage in lengthy conversation about the themes you brought up. I would like to revisit some of these at a later point. I really like what you said about the “gaps between us”. It’s very relatable. Thank you for sharing those thoughts.
 
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ErikAlberto said:
You said a lot of weighty things there, David Nelson — all of which really resonate with my own experience. I feel like it would be easy to engage in lengthy conversation about the themes you brought up. I would like to revisit some of these at a later point. I really like what you said about the “gaps between us”. It’s very relatable. Thank you for sharing those thoughts.
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You are very welcome. I look forward to future discussions with you. This is a great forum, I’ve been here a few months. It has allowed me to discuss things which it’s hard to find people in real life to talk to about. It’s a place for mutual growth.
 
Just got this off tinterweb…seems I’m not the only one who favours INFJ type…all true except maybe hard working lol

Although the INFJ personality type is rare, it is arguably the best personality type. They are unique because they are sensitive, compassionate, and hardworking. They take a long time to open up to new people, but they would do anything for their family and friends
 
1. Way too sensitive
2. Analyse the crap out of everything
3. Get bored quickly, probably got ADHD
4. Perfectionists
5. Misunderstood
6. Struggle to fit in anywhere
7. Often thought to be stupid but actually highly intelligent
8. Like to be alone a fair bit but want company
9. Only really happy in deep loving relationships
10. Think much more than we take actions.
 
  • Sometimes being outright denied needed or desired experience for whatever reasons(appearances). Leading you to have to be creative and make your own way somehow-create your own experiences(hopefully without too much notice or opposition)
  • Constantly having to prove/reprove/disprove yourself over and over (and f-ing over) again, and still not being believed.
  • Having to resort to child-like speak in sometimes embarrassing professional situations, simply for others to understand what you are talking about.
  • Nobody actually hears your words or your intent; they seem to care most about the appearance or non-appearance of an attitude, whether you agree or disagree
  • Everything is almost always your fault, and your responsibility to fix.
  • You can really only have the most fun, it seems by yourself - it's no wonder INFJs are constantly seeking close and/or exclusive relationships of mutual understanding, because most times its either challenging, painful, or simply plain boring.
  • Nothing matters, even if it matters to you, it doesn't seem to really matter until there's some sort of synchronicity with the outside world. It doesn't always have to be personal/interpersonal validation; but there's always got to be some physical positive feedback, some positive change in the environment, that makes it matter.
 
can infjs realize and internalize their interests or perspective based on others' experiences (who you resonate with)?* For example the iNtuitive, Feeling in this (not so great at breaking it down sorry).
 
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its alright, i found an article around here for my question. I meant the ability to fit in with people and adopt their outlook on life, not entirely ofcourse but even still.. for what it's worth, without realizing how much such is impacting you. It's like an overwrap to the fruit of who you are, but it couldn't have been any other way because not everyone is introverted or infj. Or could it? How much acceptability is there without misunderstanding ?
It's not as if everyone don't come with their own peels naturally, but for infj it's like being an orange with also lemon, pineapple and other peels with your own. And it's such a pain to explain if so.
"Listen here, walnut. I'm a fruit", the orange knows that much.
 
keyring said:
its alright, i found an article around here for my question. I meant the ability to fit in with people and adopt their outlook on life, not entirely ofcourse but even still.. for what it's worth, without realizing how much such is impacting you. It's like an overwrap to the fruit of who you are, but it couldn't have been any other way because not everyone is introverted or infj. Or could it? How much acceptability is there without misunderstanding ?
It's not as if everyone don't come with their own peels naturally, but for infj it's like being an orange with also lemon, pineapple and other peels with your own. And it's such a pain to explain if so.
"Listen here, walnut. I'm a fruit", the orange knows that much.
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Would you say you know yourself well?
 
What I think is hard is we have really good insight into people and society, but there are times when we feel completely alienated from everything and question ourselves in profound and troubling ways, wondering if we have got it all wrong. We want to help society and belong but often we get frustrated and disillusioned.
 
Jexocuha said:
New
  • Sometimes being outright denied needed or desired experience for whatever reasons(appearances). Leading you to have to be creative and make your own way somehow-create your own experiences(hopefully without too much notice or opposition)
  • Constantly having to prove/reprove/disprove yourself over and over (and f-ing over) again, and still not being believed.
  • Having to resort to child-like speak in sometimes embarrassing professional situations, simply for others to understand what you are talking about.
  • Nobody actually hears your words or your intent; they seem to care most about the appearance or non-appearance of an attitude, whether you agree or disagree
  • Everything is almost always your fault, and your responsibility to fix.
  • You can really only have the most fun, it seems by yourself - it's no wonder INFJs are constantly seeking close and/or exclusive relationships of mutual understanding, because most times its either challenging, painful, or simply plain boring.
  • Nothing matters, even if it matters to you, it doesn't seem to really matter until there's some sort of synchronicity with the outside world. It doesn't always have to be personal/interpersonal validation; but there's always got to be some physical positive feedback, some positive change in the environment, that makes it matter.
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Jeesh. This hits hard.

David Nelson said:
What I think is hard is we have really good insight into people and society, but there are times when we feel completely alienated from everything and question ourselves in profound and troubling ways, wondering if we have got it all wrong. We want to help society and belong but often we get frustrated and disillusioned.
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"I love humanity, not humans."
 
Asa said:
"I love humanity, not humans."
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So INFJ. :)

I love humans, but not humanity.

So you keep me from becoming Che Guevara, Fidel Castro, Muammar Gaddafi, and Hugo Chavez (all suspected to be ENFP), and I’ll hopefully keep you from becoming Adolf Hitler, Ruhollah Khomeini, Osama bin Laden, Leon Trotsky, Chiang Kai-shek, and Robert Mugabe (all suspected to be INFJ).

Hehe,
Ian
 
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