Why it sucks to be an INFJ

[David Nelson]

So INFJ.

I love humans, but not humanity.

So you keep me from becoming Che Guevara, Fidel Castro, Muammar Gaddafi, and Hugo Chavez (all suspected to be ENFP), and I’ll hopefully keep you from becoming Adolf Hitler, Ruhollah Khomeini, Osama bin Laden, Leon Trotsky, Chiang Kai-shek, and Robert Mugabe (all suspected to be INFJ).

Hehe,
Ian

Sounds like the power of dominant intuition (Ni or Ne)

 

[keyring]

What I think is hard is we have really good insight into people and society, but there are times when we feel completely alienated from everything and question ourselves in profound and troubling ways, wondering if we have got it all wrong. We want to help society and belong but often we get frustrated and disillusioned.

true, I think that makes sense

 

[Asa]

(all suspected to be INFJ).

Allllllegedlllllly.

 

[Jexocuha]

It sucks when people keep asking or giving you looks as, "who are you?" or "where did you come from?", especially when you've been somewhere for a long while. It's like the dominant function plays a huge role in how someone is recognized when they step out of their comfort-zone for a moment. And Ni is the "mystery" function.

It also sucks when you do something, and an INTJ comes around and does the same thing[but maybe a bit "cleaner" lol] and gets credit for it.(but I love INTJs, and I work with one, which is where this particular recent gripe comes from. hehe...)

 

[Matty]

It sucks when people keep asking or giving you looks as, "who are you?" or "where did you come from?", especially when you've been somewhere for a long while. It's like the dominant function plays a huge role in how someone is recognized when they step out of their comfort-zone for a moment. And Ni is the "mystery" function.

It also sucks when you do something, and an INTJ comes around and does the same thing[but maybe a bit "cleaner" lol] and gets credit for it.(but I love INTJs, and I work with one, which is where this particular recent gripe comes from. hehe...)

 

[Asa]

LOL @Matty's meme.

It sucks when people keep asking or giving you looks as, "who are you?" or "where did you come from?", especially when you've been somewhere for a long while. It's like the dominant function plays a huge role in how someone is recognized when they step out of their comfort-zone for a moment. And Ni is the "mystery" function.
]It also sucks when you do something, and an INTJ comes around and does the same thing[but maybe a bit "cleaner" lol] and gets credit for it.(but I love INTJs, and I work with one, which is where this particular recent gripe comes from. hehe...)

Wow. I've never heard anyone talk about this. I have a dual lifelong experience of people being fascinated/preoccupied by how mysterious I am and a completely opposite experience of people failing to remember me even if we spent quite a bit of time together. Both, combined, make me feel like a phantom. I never attributed this to Ni before.

The part about the INTJ getting credit made me laugh because I'm married to an INTJ.

 

[Jexocuha]

When you need people, because you are not an island and don't have all the resources, and of course, you are a "person" too with feelings and such, but everybody keeps telling you, "focus on yourself".
Constantly balancing your responsibilities and commitments while trying to maintain your needs(like for your health), but then being constantly told or reminded "why are you so uptight".
When you unwind, and be lighthearted because your tired after "being so uptight", people don't like how you appear so they say, "just be yourself".

Again, nobody knows, nobody sees, nobody cares...

 

[Defective]

Honestly, just feeling like a total outcast is really hard. The top things that sucks most for me would be:

1. Being drained by small talk and very sensory driven conversations, I find topics that have no depth so severely draining, it is like someone is plugged into my energy source. The main issue with this is I have many friends who love spending time with me because I energise them, but for me it is the opposite.
2. Having a lot of intuitive insights into people, events and how things will play out (driven by the NI), and I am very seldom listened to, only to be proven right. It can be really tiring to see how things will unfold most of the time.
3. Wanting deeper connections and people not being able to get to the same depth. I understand everyone is different, but I want to feel connected to others so much and it is very rare that I meet someone who connects with me.
4. Constantly listening and empathising with people and never receiving it back. People always say I am a great listener and advisor, but when I really need it from someone, everyone just tries to give me solutions to my problems rather than lending me an ear and being kind, as I've done for them.
5. I am always pursuing personal development and growth in all areas of life and it constantly results in me outgrowing partners, friends, etc. I hate that.

 

[Verison]

View attachment 89560

HERE"S JOHNNY!

I'm a Johnny....

 

[Jexocuha]

I've read elsewere of INFJs being described as "confidants" and "an inspiration to others"
I agree with this, but it sucks being an INFJ even with this because:
a) People like to take your inspiration privately, but make fun of you for dumb shit publicly. [and then act all receptive and different again in private]
b) People confide in you only because there was no one else around, and you don't have the luxury or incentive to lie - you were the last on the list.(but doesn't say somewhere "the first shall be last, and the last shall be first?" ;P)
c) Nobody cares about you when you are struggling and/or alone. But everyone needs your help, especially just at the time you thought you were fine by yourself.
d) You always got to pay. INFJs can get away with a lot, that is in a social sense or appearance sense. But when it's time to "pay" for something,you are rarely ever off the hook, at least not without some kind of self-omission.

 

[aeon]

I've read elsewere of INFJs being described as "confidants" and "an inspiration to others"
I agree with this, but it sucks being an INFJ even with this because:
a) People like to take your inspiration privately, but make fun of you for dumb shit publicly. [and then act all receptive and different again in private]
b) People confide in you only because there was no one else around, and you don't have the luxury or incentive to lie - you were the last on the list.(but doesn't say somewhere "the first shall be last, and the last shall be first?" ;P)
c) Nobody cares about you when you are struggling and/or alone. But everyone needs your help, especially just at the time you thought you were fine by yourself.
d) You always got to pay. INFJs can get away with a lot, that is in a social sense or appearance sense. But when it's time to "pay" for something,you are rarely ever off the hook, at least not without some kind of self-omission.

I feel a-c deeply.

Sigh,
Ian

 

[Verison]

"c) Nobody cares about you when you are struggling and/or alone. But everyone needs your help, especially just at the time you thought you were fine by yourself."

They know we can be depended on and we are always "OK". That nothing bothers us. And we usually want to help.

When in reality we bury things deep, at least I do. I found very few people I want to share it with.

 

[John K]

To see and not to be able to express - to feel the absolute horror of the void, and then it's indescribable joy of being. How this all makes things meaningful beyond the dreams of mortality - and not to be able to say it in words that carry and share it, but break it into fragments under the strain.

Words are like smoke that come out of the fire, but they are not the fire and never can be.

But maybe this isn't an INFJ thing, but something else?