Why it sucks to be an INFJ

aeon said:
So INFJ. :)

I love humans, but not humanity.

So you keep me from becoming Che Guevara, Fidel Castro, Muammar Gaddafi, and Hugo Chavez (all suspected to be ENFP), and I’ll hopefully keep you from becoming Adolf Hitler, Ruhollah Khomeini, Osama bin Laden, Leon Trotsky, Chiang Kai-shek, and Robert Mugabe (all suspected to be INFJ).

Hehe,
Ian
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Sounds like the power of dominant intuition (Ni or Ne)
 
aeon said:
(all suspected to be INFJ).
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Allllllegedlllllly.

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It sucks when people keep asking or giving you looks as, "who are you?" or "where did you come from?", especially when you've been somewhere for a long while. It's like the dominant function plays a huge role in how someone is recognized when they step out of their comfort-zone for a moment. And Ni is the "mystery" function.

It also sucks when you do something, and an INTJ comes around and does the same thing[but maybe a bit "cleaner" lol] and gets credit for it.(but I love INTJs, and I work with one, which is where this particular recent gripe comes from. hehe...)
 
Jexocuha said:
It sucks when people keep asking or giving you looks as, "who are you?" or "where did you come from?", especially when you've been somewhere for a long while. It's like the dominant function plays a huge role in how someone is recognized when they step out of their comfort-zone for a moment. And Ni is the "mystery" function.

It also sucks when you do something, and an INTJ comes around and does the same thing[but maybe a bit "cleaner" lol] and gets credit for it.(but I love INTJs, and I work with one, which is where this particular recent gripe comes from. hehe...)
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Heres Johnny 17092022213549.jpg
 
LOL @Matty's meme.


Jexocuha said:
It sucks when people keep asking or giving you looks as, "who are you?" or "where did you come from?", especially when you've been somewhere for a long while. It's like the dominant function plays a huge role in how someone is recognized when they step out of their comfort-zone for a moment. And Ni is the "mystery" function.
]It also sucks when you do something, and an INTJ comes around and does the same thing[but maybe a bit "cleaner" lol] and gets credit for it.(but I love INTJs, and I work with one, which is where this particular recent gripe comes from. hehe...)
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Wow. I've never heard anyone talk about this. I have a dual lifelong experience of people being fascinated/preoccupied by how mysterious I am and a completely opposite experience of people failing to remember me even if we spent quite a bit of time together. Both, combined, make me feel like a phantom. I never attributed this to Ni before.

The part about the INTJ getting credit made me laugh because I'm married to an INTJ.
 
When you need people, because you are not an island and don't have all the resources, and of course, you are a "person" too with feelings and such, but everybody keeps telling you, "focus on yourself".
Constantly balancing your responsibilities and commitments while trying to maintain your needs(like for your health), but then being constantly told or reminded "why are you so uptight".
When you unwind, and be lighthearted because your tired after "being so uptight", people don't like how you appear so they say, "just be yourself".

Again, nobody knows, nobody sees, nobody cares...
 
Honestly, just feeling like a total outcast is really hard. The top things that sucks most for me would be:

1. Being drained by small talk and very sensory driven conversations, I find topics that have no depth so severely draining, it is like someone is plugged into my energy source. The main issue with this is I have many friends who love spending time with me because I energise them, but for me it is the opposite.
2. Having a lot of intuitive insights into people, events and how things will play out (driven by the NI), and I am very seldom listened to, only to be proven right. It can be really tiring to see how things will unfold most of the time.
3. Wanting deeper connections and people not being able to get to the same depth. I understand everyone is different, but I want to feel connected to others so much and it is very rare that I meet someone who connects with me.
4. Constantly listening and empathising with people and never receiving it back. People always say I am a great listener and advisor, but when I really need it from someone, everyone just tries to give me solutions to my problems rather than lending me an ear and being kind, as I've done for them.
5. I am always pursuing personal development and growth in all areas of life and it constantly results in me outgrowing partners, friends, etc. I hate that.
 
I've read elsewere of INFJs being described as "confidants" and "an inspiration to others"
I agree with this, but it sucks being an INFJ even with this because:
a) People like to take your inspiration privately, but make fun of you for dumb shit publicly. [and then act all receptive and different again in private]
b) People confide in you only because there was no one else around, and you don't have the luxury or incentive to lie - you were the last on the list.(but doesn't say somewhere "the first shall be last, and the last shall be first?" ;P)
c) Nobody cares about you when you are struggling and/or alone. But everyone needs your help, especially just at the time you thought you were fine by yourself.
d) You always got to pay. INFJs can get away with a lot, that is in a social sense or appearance sense. But when it's time to "pay" for something,you are rarely ever off the hook, at least not without some kind of self-omission.
 
Jexocuha said:
I've read elsewere of INFJs being described as "confidants" and "an inspiration to others"
I agree with this, but it sucks being an INFJ even with this because:
a) People like to take your inspiration privately, but make fun of you for dumb shit publicly. [and then act all receptive and different again in private]
b) People confide in you only because there was no one else around, and you don't have the luxury or incentive to lie - you were the last on the list.(but doesn't say somewhere "the first shall be last, and the last shall be first?" ;P)
c) Nobody cares about you when you are struggling and/or alone. But everyone needs your help, especially just at the time you thought you were fine by yourself.
d) You always got to pay. INFJs can get away with a lot, that is in a social sense or appearance sense. But when it's time to "pay" for something,you are rarely ever off the hook, at least not without some kind of self-omission.
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I feel a-c deeply.

Sigh,
Ian
 
"c) Nobody cares about you when you are struggling and/or alone. But everyone needs your help, especially just at the time you thought you were fine by yourself."

They know we can be depended on and we are always "OK". That nothing bothers us. And we usually want to help.

When in reality we bury things deep, at least I do. I found very few people I want to share it with.
 
To see and not to be able to express - to feel the absolute horror of the void, and then it's indescribable joy of being. How this all makes things meaningful beyond the dreams of mortality - and not to be able to say it in words that carry and share it, but break it into fragments under the strain.

Words are like smoke that come out of the fire, but they are not the fire and never can be.

But maybe this isn't an INFJ thing, but something else?
 
Having expectations of autonomy and/or self-reliance well before you've had enough real experiences under your belt. It seems like the mistakes you make hit you harder than it does others, because you feel like it's expected of you to have "known better" and unexpected if you didn't know better. Your own voice and feelings also tend to get tangled up with others around you or others from past experiences - you can discount your thoughts and feelings too because of passed experiences of then being dismissed or ignored or whatever.
 
Jexocuha said:
Having expectations of autonomy and/or self-reliance well before you've had enough real experiences under your belt. It seems like the mistakes you make hit you harder than it does others, because you feel like it's expected of you to have "known better" and unexpected if you didn't know better. Your own voice and feelings also tend to get tangled up with others around you or others from past experiences - you can discount your thoughts and feelings too because of passed experiences of then being dismissed or ignored or whatever.
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Different demographics handle this reality differently with some doing really well while a large part are able to cope at least till mid life crises but anyway I do envy the animal instinct that allows such to handle with being in this society without really having to think about anything.
 
I'm always unsure and on edge. And when I'm sure, I manage to figure something out I don't know, then I get on edge knowing i'm incapable of explaining something that I don't know. I'm sure this makes sense lol. And, also, not knowing what to do when someone starts throwing fake punches at me as a greeting... I just start freaking out because I don't know what to do. And also talking to people, I have a strange way of speaking... people tell me this, I still don't know why. And along with social uncertainties, when someone compliments me for being smart, I just totally freeze. I wonder because, for someone to compliment me on being smart, they have to compare me to something or someone else. And I won't know who they are comparing to me, and the word "smart" itself is a very vague term on the spectrum that humans can specialize in. So, i struggle with this
 
I've given up on society. It's a mess and no one is really trying to "fix it". EIGHT BILLION people on this planet. Studies have shown the sustainable population to be 2.5 billion. BUT let's pay people to have more kids so that we can make more money. Someone will take care of them.

Global warming.....let's make the population 20 Billion, poison the planet. Maybe we can live on the moon or another planet.

Or should we let nature take it's course and have either man (Wuhan Flu, Lyme Disease, etc.) or nature come up with something that'll wipe out man. It happens in the natural world with other species.......

I'm flabbergasted at the lack of what used to be called common sense. There is none to be found. I'm an INFJ. Sometimes I wish I was different so that I could better cope with the rest of the world. It's a mess and getting messier. It's all about money, greed, power, prestige, ....... and how lazy can I get yet get everything I want.

Get off your lazy asses. Quit collecting welfare. Education yourselves and vote on what you've learned not by how your "friends" have told you to vote. Get rid of professional politians let Schumer who has never had a job in his life. The only calluses he's had are on his lips and ass. Read what you're voting on!

Wake the hell up!
 
Verison said:
I've given up on society. It's a mess and no one is really trying to "fix it". EIGHT BILLION people on this planet. Studies have shown the sustainable population to be 2.5 billion. BUT let's pay people to have more kids so that we can make more money. Someone will take care of them.

Global warming.....let's make the population 20 Billion, poison the planet. Maybe we can live on the moon or another planet.

Or should we let nature take it's course and have either man (Wuhan Flu, Lyme Disease, etc.) or nature come up with something that'll wipe out man. It happens in the natural world with other species.......

I'm flabbergasted at the lack of what used to be called common sense. There is none to be found. I'm an INFJ. Sometimes I wish I was different so that I could better cope with the rest of the world. It's a mess and getting messier. It's all about money, greed, power, prestige, ....... and how lazy can I get yet get everything I want.

Get off your lazy asses. Quit collecting welfare. Education yourselves and vote on what you've learned not by how your "friends" have told you to vote. Get rid of professional politians let Schumer who has never had a job in his life. The only calluses he's had are on his lips and ass. Read what you're voting on!

Wake the hell up!
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The cap is around 11 to 15 billion then complete biosphere collapse after around 400 years give or take however if this civilization was actually efficient there would be enough to go around for the current population to live comfortably without destroying the planet in the process. Would go so far as to say the biggest resource hogs are the elite, government, and lastly big corporations that pump out more pollutants than entire countries in some cases.

As for demographics it is a lost cause as a lot of us aren't really apart of the game socially and vibe well if at all in with more common demographics which makes things difficult to say the least.
 
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