Your immediate needs are met. What now?

Sloe Djinn said:
Good words to live by. I don’t know if this was gleaned from other posts of mine, as I do bitch frequently about parenthood. I do want to clarify that I let off steam here, but I understand that it may have cultivated an image of a resentful parent. I love my family and wouldn't change it for the world. My only purpose in referring to parenthood was to illustrate that it gave rise to enjoyment in doing certain types of things that I used to find mundane or pointless, and it was an enjoyment that I couldn't grasp until I had a gained the experience of routinely being responsible for tiny humans. I've definitely been able to carve out time to explore interests (brewing, cooking, shooting, etc) but the search continues.
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No need to defend yourself with me, @Sloe Djinn. I know people who otherwise love being parents, and are good parents, vent about parenting here. You need a release. I included the part about parenting in my post because I don't want to sound like that childless adult telling parents to "find the time"... which I am, by default. I understand how much time and energy raising tiny humans takes, and that it is fulfilling, and you sacrifice for them. I was just trying to suggest using the little free time you have to trade an activity that isn't of high value for one that is more fulfilling.

@acd – NO. :( I wasn't trying to single anyone out, just my badly worded, "I understand being a parent is time-consuming".
 
Asa said:
No need to defend yourself with me, @Sloe Djinn. I know people who otherwise love being parents, and are good parents, vent about parenting here. You need a release. I included the part about parenting in my post because I don't want to sound like that childless adult telling parents to "find the time"... which I am, by default. I understand how much time and energy raising tiny humans takes, and that it is fulfilling, and you sacrifice for them. I was just trying to suggest using the little free time you have to trade an activity that isn't of high value for one that is more fulfilling.

@acd – NO. :( I wasn't trying to single anyone out, just my badly worded, "I understand being a parent is time-consuming".
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Gotcha! Thanks @Asa ! =)
 
Sloe Djinn said:
NO EVERYTHING IS ALL ABOUT ME!
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Well I guess as parents we are aware that our attention must be divided between family, work and our own interests. Our own interests naturally come in last place. I've never been more acutely aware of time in my life. How little 24 hours are. What a dream it would be to carve out that 8+ hours a day otherwise spent focusing on someone else's (an employer!) interests to reallocate those hours into other areas of my choosing. @Asa I prickled a little to hear I shouldn't be watching TV or playing videogames (but videogames are important lol) or shit posting here when I could be working on my bigger projects like writing. The weird thing is that I have almost a sense of guilt for not writing. Like I'm neglecting something. The story is there in my mind. At least I'm keeping it there while daydreaming on long drives and doing dishes.
 
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I was actually listening to this interview the other day (while doing dishes! :laughing:) And it has stuck with me that the author spoke about working and getting herself financially to a place where she was wealthy enough to quit working to focus on writing. Omg I was so envious.
(Was a really interesting interview and the book sounds amazing btw.)
 
acd said:
. @Asa I prickled a little to hear I shouldn't be watching TV or playing videogames (but videogames are important lol) or shit posting here when I could be working on my bigger projects like writing. The weird thing is that I have almost a sense of guilt for not writing. Like I'm neglecting something.
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I think you can do those things. I was just suggesting choosing different options for your free time. I just cut way back on video games myself. I traded video game time for forum time.
Try spending one night a week writing instead of watching TV.

Don't feel guilty about not doing creative work. It won't help you be creative. :) I just listened to the book "The War of Art"* and he talks a lot about resistance, which dominates us, and how accomplishing (creative) goals is about escaping that resistance. Feeling guilty will shut you down. Try this: If you're watching TV or playing video games and you have a creative idea, stop what you're doing and go write it down or work on your creative stuff for a little bit. No pressure to produce anything or finish anything.

*I couldn't find the time to read books anymore, so I listen to audiobooks and podcasts when I'm working and doing chores.
 
Sloe Djinn said:
I’ve found myself ruminating a lot on money and finances lately. I’m not rich in any sense of the word but have been thinking about the infinite paths that I could take which could lead to wealth or ruin. In contemplating that, a significant question arose, namely, “For what?”

Lets say you got rich enough that you had a house paid off and all ongoing needs met: food, property taxes, medical needs, etc. resulting in not needing to work anymore in general.
  1. Is this desirable or not? Explain.
  2. What would you do with yourself day to day?
  3. What do you need in your life to stay healthy when basic needs are all met?
You may be able to guess my thoughts on this, but I’d like to hear what others think.
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1. Absolutely desirable. Just because I don't need to work doesn't mean I have to stop working, and I can now work by self-cultivating. Granted, I might not do that, but at least it would be easier to do.
2. Either tool around on the net like I usually do or try to learn new things and train myself in skills until I could do something really cool.
3. I could function just fine with basic needs alone, but to function at my best...probably people around me who were pursuing things similar to what I want to pursue, so they could nudge me in that direction.
 
Do any of you resonate with survival as a motivating or enriching factor in your lives? The struggle to survive is an inherent part of the lives of just about every living creature on this planet with the exception of some of us humans.

I see financial survival as a perversion of that, but that topic could have its own thread and discussion. Despite that, necessity is a good part of what anchors me and helps me to be responsible. I think I struggle with the prospect of discovering or creating new anchors within myself.
 
I was at the gym and thinking about how absurd it is that we place ourselves on stationary machines like automatons to obtain exercise that we would naturally receive if we were really working to survive, (hunting, foraging, basically just moving). And it just seems so odd to me to equate sitting my ass at a desk 40 hours a week as a means of survival. All of us there in concert after our jobs. It's so divorced from what we are as a species. Maybe were just in an awkward phase of humanity and in 1k years we will have merged with machines and therefore not require any exercise to stay healthy. These are my work out thoughts lol.
 
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Ren said:
1. Extremely desirable. I'd be able to dedicate my time to writing and research, my two non-lucrative passions.
2. Read, write, think. Spend quality time with my significant other. Catch up with friends.
3. Regular walks, a good relationship, good friendships.

I had that thought recently that if I'd been born a French aristocrat, I would have been the happiest man ever.

@Pin
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I honestly don't like how that whole revolution went down at all; it was totally unmeasured.
 
Pin said:
I honestly don't like how that whole revolution went down at all; it was totally unmeasured.
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What do you mean by unmeasured?
 
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Sloe Djinn said:
The struggle to survive is an inherent part of the lives of just about every living creature on this planet with the exception of some of us humans.
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A few months ago I was listening to a podcast with a human behavioralist and he talked about how the human brain is hardwired for problem-solving due to our survival instincts, which is why people who have comfortable lives still find things to stress over and complain about. At least now you know people can't help it when they obnoxiously whine about how they can't fit their Ferrari into the six-car garage.
 
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Sloe Djinn said:
Do any of you resonate with survival as a motivating or enriching factor in your lives? The struggle to survive is an inherent part of the lives of just about every living creature on this planet with the exception of some of us humans.

I see financial survival as a perversion of that, but that topic could have its own thread and discussion. Despite that, necessity is a good part of what anchors me and helps me to be responsible. I think I struggle with the prospect of discovering or creating new anchors within myself.
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Sometimes yes. I feel the first world has lost sight of things.
 
Asa said:
A few months ago I was listening to a podcast with a human behavioralist and he talked about how the human brain is hardwired for problem-solving due to our survival instincts, which is why people who have comfortable lives still find things to stress over and complain about. At least now you know people can't help it when they obnoxiously whine about how they can't fit their Ferrari into the six-car garage.
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Well one could argue they have a lot of internalised problems they feel the need to externalise by the colourful art of whining
 
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Sloe Djinn said:
I’ve found myself ruminating a lot on money and finances lately. I’m not rich in any sense of the word but have been thinking about the infinite paths that I could take which could lead to wealth or ruin. In contemplating that, a significant question arose, namely, “For what?”

Lets say you got rich enough that you had a house paid off and all ongoing needs met: food, property taxes, medical needs, etc. resulting in not needing to work anymore in general.
  1. Is this desirable or not? Explain.
  2. What would you do with yourself day to day?
  3. What do you need in your life to stay healthy when basic needs are all met?
You may be able to guess my thoughts on this, but I’d like to hear what others think.
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I own my home and a rental property outright. I also have a good job, and am very conscious that I should probably settle down with a woman and raise a family. I've been very commitment averse to date, and have a pattern of dumping girlfriends as soon as a relationship starts feeling "serious". As despicable as I find my aversion to commitment, I've been telling myself that I'll get serious when I get to 30 years of age, somehow consenting to shallowness in myself for a few more years. If Aristotle's theory on virtues reflects reality, I'm doing lasting damage to my own character in the meanwhile.

This thread is making me rethink my priorities, and either stay away from casual relationships until I'm ready to settle down, or just man up and start looking for someone who would actually be a good wife and mother to children.

Anyhow, to answer the question: raise a family, and contribute more to the community.
 
Sloe Djinn said:
Is this desirable or not? Explain.
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Yes. Because I like sleep and I want to do more of it without any worry or guilt. Not that I still don't do that today.

Sloe Djinn said:
What would you do with yourself day to day?
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Sleep, garden, cook, take on a DIY property as a hobby: not too big, with a stable tiny house for my existence and all the rest are fun projects. I like the hardware store very much.

Sloe Djinn said:
What do you need in your life to stay healthy when basic needs are all met?
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Time with family and time away from family. Time at work but also away from work. Ha.

Sloe Djinn said:
Do any of you resonate with survival as a motivating or enriching factor in your lives?
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More development than survival. I'm a citizen of a developing country which allowed me to see survival in a dire frame. I've seen how communities and individuals morph in the name of survival in a way that is crippling to souls. There comes a point when you kinda not want to survive in a world with that sort of chaos, so rather than survival, I am motivated by the idea of development and would like to attach all my decisions to that. If it is productive and for a more encompassing betterment, it's likely going to be a good decision.
 
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