endersgone

(cont.) I suppose I've since internalized the idea that apparently ridiculous or miraculous things are possible...or at least, how can they be proven to be impossible? I can no longer see reality as anything but a collection of consistent trends, and the reality in my head is even less than that; it is entirely bendable. It makes me able to put my heart too easily into tempting ideas like fate or destiny. On one hand, I know that they have no attachment to physical reality and are merely pipe dreams (for now!), but on the other hand, unabashedly drunkenly pursuing them is so liberating, despite any improbabilities. (I mean, I tend to pursue things that I think are more plausible, but...) Maybe I've just had reality suspended out of my reach for too long. /ramble /lost control of what I was talking about (sorry~)
P.S. Nice profile background~

Hmm... somehow that doesn't sound very feelery to me!
I guess I wouldn't have known if you were actually conflicted or not. Your learning may have "destroyed" your idealistic preconceptions as you've described, but maybe you will go through some experiences in your life that will make you re-evaluate the way you think and cause you to revert to "ignorance", or to something more in between. I think that our ways of thinking aren't necessarily static throughout our lives, right? You have talked about your anxieties in some areas of your life on here. I'm not you, but I think that the part of you that is being held back by anxiety will eventually want to break free, and that a lot of re-evaluating of your life and beliefs may take place around then. Anyhow, sorry to play therapist; I'm sure you know that's entirely me hypothesizing out of my ass, but I know it could bug some people. I guess I mentioned the "doublethink" because it is something I sort of live by, I suppose--I think I know how it feels to only see the world entirely rationally... but I think that it changed for me since my major problems started in recent years, for better or for worse. Somewhere amidst everything, a magical fairy land must've popped back into my head lol. I think it could be precisely what you mentioned: too many things going on without any apparent rhyme or reason--not only externally with others in my environment and with others worldwide, but internally as well since then.

Hello eg! :3 Things are well, thank you for asking. How are things going with you? I speak very little in general, but I think it would nice to talk to you more often; I will make a greater effort. :3

Anything you can (and want to) tell.

I'll try to give mine; it's a good practice.

For example...for 'S-level' informations; Right now I'm holding a recorder (the flute-like objects?); it's one that I had since middle school, then it got..lost..around the old house, and recently (like 2-3 months ago) it's being uncovered. I don't really play it anymore, but it really make a good pretend mace/staff/rod.

n_n
that is a compliment

I know how that feels. Unless I know over half the people on cam, I don't cam. If I don't know over a a third of the people in the room, I usually leave.

I would like to talk to you one on one sometime if you are up for it.

lol, you probably don't see my comment on the blog entry because as I was posting it the forums informed me that it would have to be approved by KIB before it could be seen by others.

If it makes you feel better, it took me 3 months to brave it to come on cam...4 months to talk. ( :

I think I'll keep to myself for quite a while, a really shady looking guy from the Soleman Islands is seeing if he can get a blowgun for my INTJ 'friend'.

Shady: I am going to visit them in the next week or so I shall see what I can do. They used to target practice with darts in his apartment, someone stepped into the line of fire and took one to the neck lol'

I'm really starting to dislike this 'friend.'

Who's visiting my page so much??? Stop your shenanigans! : P

I like your new Avatar : ) it's striking, immediately catches my eye. I think my miserable about to be married friends are best left alone-- gonna not do social commitments for a week or two. Do you know any really negative, confusing/potentially dangerous people? How would you behave around them?

Which is even more important, by the way. ;D
The steps which you are taking, and the sights you're seeing are as important as the place you're starting and the place you're going.
*hugs* I'm sorry that it's happening to you, though; I've been there (still there, sometimes) and the feeling and the discrepancy and the gap sucks.

It does make my questions a little bit easier, though;
What is true for you, and what part of blending do you hate?
Which part of the world that you don't understand; and what did you lost sight of?

If your standard is 'best', I have no answer. I use that standard as well (like other superlatives) and I know how others' words can be....not helping. Distracting, even. Can you perhaps elaborate?
Definitions are fine and dandy and humane, but it'd be best to remember that not everyone hold the same definition over one word. That wouldn't mean it's forbidden.

For example, my brother's best is 'the choice that costs the least with the most enjoyment'.
a friend's best is 'whatever can make me feel the most'.
another friend's best is 'what accomplishes the goal, under whatever cost.'

Think of it in RPG terms. One character fits best with Agility-boosting items. The other fits best with Strength. Others are deadly when they hold Blue Magic; and the other can be the most powerful when they have the least HP.

Thanks It's pretty crazy unfortunately, my Hotmail account got data bombed last night/this morning?-- my Google chrome mentioned that my 'Hotmail homepage' wasn't actually the real thing and something about hackers. I had 2 security issues on my main computer, but 60 (60!) brand new spyware bots on my older laptop as of this morning. The conversation about blow darts is unsettling, and the way I was going to get my friend's wife to be to talk with me was through email-- put my email address right there. The situation is all too strange,--- when you get involved with people, drama happens!!

Well, that's so far I can say or tell, from where I'm standing on.

Realness can be a trap; because for us to define 'real' means having a set of expectations of what is 'real' and what is not.
And it's a too precious an ideal; one that can be taken advantage of.

And what traits are considered real and true, then?

For some people, those you mentioned are masks; yes.
But masks are created for a reason; are the fact that they were artificiality made by ego to protect or augment themselves means they are unworthy of being?
Some people actively -sought- to relate, to seek admiration. For those people, aren't you actively denying who they are, as distasteful as they might be?

And what are morals but those we learned? What are right or wrong, if not something we gained from books and pictures, from people and feelings, from arts and experiences; stories and anecdotes. What are the differences between you and I, you and them; us and them; as far as identity were concerned?

Sorry, too much of a devil's advocate here. I don't think your particular view on this is offending or personally wrong, by the way. But it -can- be wrong, for someone else.
Although realness can be a trap, but I'm done rambling XD

From my place?

By pushing it away because it looks false; it looks unreal to us, therefore it must be unreal.
Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction; sometimes the world and its inhabitants are stranger than our heads.

And that fluidity is something certain from humanity, I would personally say. Of course, it's just me :|

But really, what is your idea of a 'real personality'?

I sent a message to the bride to be last night to talk with her sometime. INTJ read it he reads her messages--hmm, I think he may now want to kill me. I can't seem to find out why blowguns are prohibited in Canada, can anyone help enlighten me? - INTJ
I tried to set up a meet up to talk- just talking -with the bride to be, by sending her a facebook message--- I think INTJ took it the wrong way, though part her message 'I just wish you'd let this whole blow gun thing go-- too many bad memories) scares me. Possibly something really bad is going on-- gonna re-secure my network--- my best friend's dad is the town sherrif, his wife is a judge, I'll call them if the situation gets *more* out of hand.

It's a good song, but not one I'd want to hear tonight ---- seeing both my friends totally miserable and about to start a really unhappy marriage has ruined my day I hope to talk to them about it-- but I'm increasingly coming to understand that both of them seem like very cruel people------- gonna leave them be for a while.

Oh that's cool! Like the editing That was the cruise ship right. What island are we on in this pic? Wow so that was 3 years ago already

I am visiting for now. :]