endersgone

I haven't been listening to music much lately. I've been feeling like I need to be really careful and cautious of what I listen to. Music effects your mood, and I've been in thought a lot lately. I'm trying to find myself if that makes sense.. You're gonna laugh, but the only thing I've been listening to is gospel music. You should give it a listen if you're out to diversify your music taste Listen to Paul Baloche. My dad played the drums in concert with him a few times.

Is it me or when the server was down, did some of my text get deleted???

Hmm that's interesting. Because my anxiety became worse while I was at college in the dorms. I could track overtime how I became more and more socially anxious until I was completely obsessed with my problems. Now I feel like I can look back and see where I went wrong. Yes, I had anxiety the whole time, but I probably could have handled it much better than I did. Being an introvert didn't help much either. But yeah, now that I'm a lot better, being around people more often has slowly brought me back to a more normal state of being. And yeah I am on social anxiety meds and I'm going through a CBT online program right now. I think one of my problems has always been that I bring some of my perfectionistic tendencies into social situations. So if a conversation/interaction does not go a certain way, I feel bad about myself and became more anxious. Do you think that could be a valid problem?

Yeah that makes sense. The trust thing is something I need to work on as well.

You're certainly right about that. I'm sorry that you have gone through such things... I recall you participating in threads here in the past that related to emotional or psychological issues, though I can't remember any details. I'll leave it to you to choose to elaborate on that to me if you ever think it'd be helpful (for either of us!).

How has this idea started to form in your head? I think this is true too. I get very hard on myself when I feel I did or said something wrong. It's a matter of not exaggerating how big the mistake is though. Once we say, "okay that was stupid...but you know what, it's not that big a deal" it starts to take the pressure off ourselves. Is what I'm saying what you were thinking along the lines about?

Really?! How exciting! :bounce: You're very welcome and I hope things go as you need.

Yes, I have. : ) Things have gotten better.

I think what the point is is that at least we are thinking, you know? How many people go around acting brain dead. I feel sad looking back on parts of my life of when I acted brain dead in a sense. We're trying, so that's what matters. When we choose to think, it's funny how small we start to feel. I wouldn't give up on the poem stuff. Try working on another one. You'll get better.

Sorry, man, I haven't even been on the forum lately. I've been busy. I'm trying to put my life back together again, and I have classes and stuff to deal with. You didn't offend me lol
Things have changed. This place isn't the same anymore. I think it's because I've changed.

I understand perfectly the wanting to be away from people. That's one thing I really have to look out for, because it's a veritable tightrope. You NEED interaction desperately, but you also need to be alone. A lot. Sometimes it's hard to find a middle ground. But, these past few days have been great. I met a number of people, and feel really good about my life and future. You should try and make your life better in whatever way it needs to be

I was just like that for a period of about 2 months. I shut everyone out. I don't know if that's what I actually needed, or if it just made things worse. I seem to have bounced back now, though. You getting over it yet?

Glad you enjoyed it! I've been trying to find artists I've all but forgotten about, to keep my music fresh. Looking forward to hearing your next songs

Oh so you thinking about doing volunteer at an elementary school? What kind of work exactly, like a tutor?

I think it would be good if you pursued something like helping kids with learning disabilities. They just need you to encourage them, and it's nice to see them make such progress when you do.

Why did you delete your recent post! I was thinking about it at work today. "Just a post with a pizza slice and no text?" This is how I thought about responding:
Aww how nice, you're offering me the last slice? Wait a minute...so you ate all 7 other pieces and you only leave me one?... YOU BASTARD

Thanks for asking. Well it's a bit confusing. Apparently I have more of a general anxiety disorder that I likely inherited from my father. My mother also had some social phobia issues growing up. Basically I've been working on generally being less anxious about things. I'll tell you what, it's tough, and I'm sure you understand. Also, the thing that bothered me most during my socially anxious episode is that I became really self-conscious of my own voice. I have an INTJ counselor who told me that I can do that as a sort of defense mechanism to make myself less anxious, though it is very disconcerting. But yeah, that's just some things that I've been working with. How has your experience been with social anxiety? And where are you at now? If you don't mind me asking.

Did you predict medical? I am curious now how, as I am a little unaware of the image I present to others. And, I doubt I'm smarter than anyone else on this board; I've just had a lot of time in recent years to ponder.

Hm, I'll have to look for a Neuro Psych class. I'm signing up for my first semester of college classes this Saturday. *note made* Have you ever taken a Neuroscience course, by chance? One of the psych profs teaches a freshman level class in it and it seems fascinating. Well, most psychology classes are interesting to me by default. The high school psych class I took was one of my favorite subjects, though I wish it had went more in-depth. I can already see myself scattershotting my classes, taking something of everything. I've already thought of trying to save money for one or two summer classes for something to do. Time, time, never enough time! I often feel like the Marching Hare from Alice in Wonderland. Would that we all had Time-turners, eh? And money...that greedy troll is never satisfied.

What do you like doing most? What motivates you to keep learning more psychology? Is there any application or approach you particularly enjoy?
You definitely seem impassioned and interested, to say the least; would that there were more of you.

New perspectives are always good. IMO, debates and truth-seeking are like sculpting a masterpiece: it's all in the details, a gradual unveiling and transforming sweep revealing what hasn't been seen before. I can relate to the lack of interest - I've tried to create one or two such threads and they fell flat.

Are you a weak N? :w: (akin to SJs/SPs?)

It's taken me a while to really get a foundational comfort for German, even though the general grammar and pronunciation comes easily for me. I have a great appreciation for phonetic distinctions. I've taken formal courses in Russian, Japanese, Chinese, French, Hebrew, Spanish. I've dipped my hand in Danish, Swedish, Dutch, Latin, Greek, and Finnish. It can be properly said that German is my 3rd language. I've taken the courses, and now it's time for me to concentrate on the one or two that I actually want to use and be proficient at.
I sample languages, as if I were sampling relationships and activities, like a P.

My future career plans...that is a good question. I'm not sure. I am considering either biology, to take into medical school to study neurology/neurological disease (particularly the mental ones), or psychology to become a counselor. If I were better at math, biology would be the surest choice but, frankly, calculus is scary and I've been told I would need multiple calculus classes to complete medical school, provided I could even get in. Counseling allows me to still have a hands-on approach to helping people that have been scarred or damaged. Either way, I take particular joy in seeing improvement in others first-hand, especially if I was part of it.

(Off-topic, I believe your thread on morality deserves more attention. It is always useful to examine one's self and be placed in new situations.)

Things are going I guess. I'm starting to feel depressed working at my grocery store job. I think it's time I go to the recruiter station and talk. I can't take any more of this. Do I need to chill? I feel like I want to rush life. Then again, if I signed up now, I'd probably be living life, not rushing it, you know? I guess I'm worried about making that next step in life.