NeverAmI

thanks!!

Tricky opened for the show I saw too! Also had the head bobbing dudes. At some point during that concert there were also these people dressed in what looked like silver body paint doing crazy acrobatics above the band as they were playing. So epic!!

ehh, I'm doing alright. This last month of insanity has finally caught up to me, and I'm feeling pretty down and out.

How about you? Feeling any better at the start of this long weekend?

I'm very much the same. I start with the big picture, but what often happens is that I do more planning than I do writing. The story is always much bigger and better in my head and I can only sustain so much attention on writing scene-by-scene; it becomes an inner battle between what I've put down on paper (mechanics and expression) and my own free-reign creativity. On the other hand, if I give myself too much free reign, I get frustrated when I write myself into a corner or don't know where to go next. It's an awkward balancing act. Or additionally, if I've already feel like I've "told" the entire story in my head, I lose interest in putting it down on paper. It's a complicated process for me.

Where emotions are concerned, they don't come naturally for me either. I actually make a list of things that someone might be feeling in a situation and match it up with body-language that would an expression of these feelings. I take a similar inventory for visual and auditory information. Maybe this is a technique that might work for you too?

I've read your poetry before and I remember liking it very much. There's a palpable rhythm and structure to your verses that comes off as very natural and smooth.

I really do hope you will give prose a chance. I would love to see this abstract poem you're working on too.

Cheers!

It would mean a lot to her if you told her, I'm sure.

Why would it?


Some people aren't comfortable with
that kind of stuff. My little brother's
the same way. He hasn't told my mom
or anyone that he loved them since he
was really small.

Why not?

I think I'm going to read A Midsummer's Nights Dream.
It's always good for making me feel better.


How often do you hug your mother?

I'm feeling better so I am going to stay
up later. I really want to read.

How are your mom and dad?
And question - did your niece come
over explicitly to see you?

He is very berry cute.
He looks a lot like Hamlet.

I'm thinking about going to bed early.
But going to be early means waking up
early. I guess I just need to decide if I
would rather feel lonely at midnight or
four am.

It depends.
Sometimes I feel more lonely
than other times.


He ran into my ankle because he is a spaz.

I like it.


I'm just giving up on using my phone.


I feel really lonely.


My kitten just ran really hard into my ankle.
Jerk.

I think you should


My phone has no dial tone right now.
Do you have any idea why this may
be?


I might just ask for your help!!

My sophomore year of high school I took this web design
class and I actually really really really loved it. The programs
that we used in that class were dreamweaver and fireworks.
And I use dreamweaver to make gifs now. Sometimes I will
play around in photoshop to make gifs or sometimes if I'm at
a friend's and I want to make a gif and they don't have any
of the programs I know how to make gifs with I'll go to this
online site and do it. I've actually only done that like twice,
but meh.

And to make my gifs I just use animations or stills or pictures.
Sometimes I like to use fireworks to edit the images before
I make the gifs.

I should just learn how to use photoshop to make gifs properly
because then I could edit the pictures and make the gifs all
at once.

Maybe someday.



Do you think I am a hard person to reaD?



I just got out of the shower.
I feel better now. The wonders
of hot water.

I don't think I have accomplished anything on a personal level.
Perhaps I have accomplished the art of gif-making? I don't know.

Why do you think I am closed-off and guarded?
What makes you think of me this way?


How do you think I overwhelm myself.

You think I am closed off and guarded.


I am very open with you.

I don't feel as though I have really accomplished anything.
I suppose being twenty and not being in an abusive relationship
or having a child before I am ready.


What do you think of our minds?

I think it's just because I am a perfectionist and I want
to do everything right and learn everything entirely.


I'm kind of hurt that no one is willing to look at things
from Kim Jung Il's pov.


About our minds:

I am sensitive sally.
You are sensitive Steve.

I think when you see a mess or a problem or whatever you think
"okay, let's tackle this and get everything organized as best we can."

When I see a mess I think
"EVERYTHING MUST BE RIGHT. EVERYTHING MUST BE RIGHT. EVERYTHING MUST BE RIGHT."
and then I focus entirely and do not deviate until what I am
doing has been done right.


You are more accepting.
I am more critical.

No.

I saw that :x


But I was just able to delete a post I made.
(I know I'm always deleting my posts, I'm
just nervous and anxious about how many
posts I have made.)



When I am learning from reading I draw pictures.
Or write it out my own way. I make mental notes.
I summarize. I will read and read and pinpoint in
my brain what I need to know and then afterwards
I will make a list of everything, then I will read back
through and anything that I thought was important
but slipped my mind I will then read over five times.
Then I will revise my list. Then I will read the chapter.
And then when I am studying for an exam I will
consult my pictures and lists and I completely ignore
the text because I have interpreted the information
and written it up in a way that I understand.


Describing this makes me feel OCD.
I just like to do well and drawing
makes studying a little more fun for
me.

MY DELETING PRIVILEGES HAVE BEEN RETURNED!?!?!?!

(did you do this?)



I think you'll probably be really well prepared then.


I am the queen of learning from books.
It's just my thing. It works out well
for me when I have a hard time rousing
myself for 6am lectures :x



Our brains work vastly different.