Am I considered a pervert?

InTheWomblikeCocoon said:
I have no intentions of acting on this. Storm, I do agree with you completely. This is why I asked the question; half of it was my longing for affirmation that this is wrong, although I know that it isn't logical to do something like this and think it wasn't wrong (unless you were mentally incapable of realizing this), there is a "deviant" part of me that desires...sexual coercion with a partner. I just need to make sure the other party is accepting of this role.
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I am going to push a little bit. Do not just gloss over it with "there is a deviant part of me...and accept it. You are asking for trouble. You really are. Ask yourself WHY you enjoy this. This is something that if you cross the line it is too late. Dont take that risk. You seem like a deeply thoughtful person, don't stop half way, take care of this so that you can move on. If this is something that is occupying so much of your thoughts than you will become frustrated at some point...that can lead to trouble, and it may be that much harder to control it. You really need to take care of this.
 
I'm not trying to be careless, but if people always wanted to act on their fantasies, we wouldn't still have a human race. Usually a fantasy is just that.
 
Storm said:
This post disgust me; it's a sign an inability to stand against that which is wrong.
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Coming to this world, I was faced with the information about so many things that are wrong, that I would have never even thought of doing. And that's the case for most people. It doesn't work at all well, it's counter-productive.

Why all the crime paranoia. It's obsessive. Human brain is too perceptive, to assume it's good to make it a crime encyclopedia, instead of something more useful. In the end, the total sum in society is that the harsher you prevent it, the more you cause it.

The argument goes way out of this topic, we can have it somewhere else.

InTheWomblikeCocoon said:
I guess what I expected was maybe an assurance that I was not being a sexual deviant and that my thoughts did not place me in the same category as sexual predators.
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I think you won't be satisfied until we proclaim you sexual predator, and if that meant doing something else, then you would have been interested in that. (: No way to prove if that is so, right now, because if it is, it is subconscious.

The really problematic people are usually those who would never openly discuss such thoughts. So speaking up was a great step, well done.
 
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I am dealing with accepting that I can have the fantasy and ultimately I will fulfill it someday. I will just have to stay physically active during these periods of urgency I have until then. I do not believe I am a sexual deviant, simply because of the culture of BDSM. If you want it, somewhere out there, it exists, even if you think you have strange fetishes.
 
InTheWomblikeCocoon said:
I am dealing with accepting that I can have the fantasy and ultimately I will fulfill it someday. I will just have to stay physically active during these periods of urgency I have until then. I do not believe I am a sexual deviant, simply because of the culture of BDSM. If you want it, somewhere out there, it exists, even if you think you have strange fetishes.
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two things, this would be sexually deviant because your deviating from the sexual norm of society. Also it doesn't always exist, ever heard of macrophillia and microphilia. This would be physically impossible.
 
Well, how do you know about what people fantasize about? I hear most US states vote against gay marriage but somewhere else I hear that most adults have had homosexual fantasies...does the mere thought make me a sexual deviant? Does the mere thought make those adults homosexual? Where do you draw the line? At willpower? Is it the difference between those who will and those who wont engage in the behavior? What about the motives behind a lack of engagement in the behavior? Is this caused by societal pressure not to engage, and therefore reinforces the belief that the behavior is deviant?
http://books.google.com/books?id=vc...resnum=1&ved=0CAgQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=&f=false
 
Don't get stuck on labels. Get rid of the term deviant. Are the fantasies getting in the way of the quality of your life?
 
00chris00 said:
two things, this would be sexually deviant because your deviating from the sexual norm of society. Also it doesn't always exist, ever heard of macrophillia and microphilia. This would be physically impossible.
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I think you are getting into dangerous territory when you start labeling fantasies as deviant. Behaviors are one thing, but the human mind and imagination is not restricted by the accepted standards of society. You have no basis by which to argue that a fantasy could be considered deviant. There is a clear line between fantasy and behavior.
 
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enfp can be shy said:
In the end, the total sum in society is that the harsher you prevent it, the more you cause it.
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You would say, then, that if we simply stopped punishing people for, say, stealing, murdering, raping, etc., they would oblige us by ceasing those activities? What an incredibly fatuous thing to suggest.

Laws, and criminalization, arose in the first place strictly because some people will behave atrociously towards one another when there are no consequences for doing so.

Unless you have some hidden knowledge of sociology to support this proclamation, I have to marvel at how little you must understand human nature.
 
Satya said:
I think you are getting into dangerous territory when you start labeling fantasies as deviant. Behaviors are one thing, but the human mind and imagination is not restricted by the accepted standards of society. You have no basis by which to argue that a fantasy could be considered deviant. There is a clear line between fantasy and behavior.
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fantasies if left unchecked leads to behavior.
 
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This sounds like a need to dominate someone weaker than you, and I'm getting the impression that it is an issue related to resentment toward feeling weak and / or having been forced. This is extremely common among sexual abuse victims, and the nature of the fantasies are usually indicative of the type of abuse that was endured. Did someone in your past force themselves upon you in this manner?

These are in fact rape fantasies. Rape is an act, not a fantasy. However, rape is an extremely intentional act, which requires a high degree of inclination and desire to do so. If you ever feel yourself fighting the urge not to do this, even slightly, I would seek professional help quickly.
 
I was never sexually coerced. But is a lust for power always preceded by being overpowered? I have never been coerced, never. I have never even dated anyone.
 
Are your fantasies more about "getting it" or about overriding the resistence which the other person offers?

The former sounds like a fetish (loving one part of something more, or to the exclusion of the whole part); the latter sounds like a domination or manipulation obsession.

If it is the former, I would ask: were your parents interested in what you thought/felt? If it is the latter, I would ask: did your parents try to be strict, but would they cave in if you insisted?
 
Flavus Aquila said:
Are your fantasies more about "getting it" or about overriding the resistence which the other person offers?

The former sounds like a fetish (loving one part of something more, or to the exclusion of the whole part); the latter sounds like a domination or manipulation obsession.

If it is the former, I would ask: were your parents interested in what you thought/felt? If it is the latter, I would ask: did your parents try to be strict, but would they cave in if you insisted?
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Are these like psychotherapy questions? I would say my reasons lie more in the fact that I want to overpower her; that is where the sexual gratification comes from.
 
Not psychotherapy - in part I have theories about most things, but they don't mean much to me unless they are verified in reality.

So back to you: did your parents try and fail to be strict disciplinarians?
 
My mother was not a very strong figure, she was not very good at enforcing her own rules. So, yes, I think that she did try and fail to be a strict disciplinarian. I always thought of her as authoritative. What does this have to do with my obsession?
 
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