Anyone met a Twin Flame?

[dZpADTLrPmX4c]

What I have found many, many times in my life is when I ask people about something, they assume my ignorance and/or usually their superiority in the matter or even generally. But this is absolutely not what I am doing. I am seeking their opinion, which I never assume will always be better than my own, then I decide what to believe myself. Most people don’t seem to get this.

This is why I've been asking you so many questions: I wish to understand you better.

Also, thank you @slant
Especially for this,

I get that everybody is trying to help you out but either they've forgotten what it feels like to be completely alone and needing connection more than being alive itself, or they never experienced that before. The tough love approach didn't work for me- I only recovered because people gave me the chance to connect and because I wanted to connect more than I wanted to be right.

It doesn't work for many people. Neither can I blame others who don't have the time or energy to see it through.

 

[slant]

What I have found many, many times in my life is when I ask people about something, they assume my ignorance and/or usually their superiority in the matter or even generally. But this is absolutely not what I am doing. I am seeking their opinion, which I never assume will always be better than my own, then I decide what to believe myself. Most people don’t seem to get this. I think it is perhaps one of the reasons INFJs get regularly misunderstood. Frequently on this forum, I have made points which have simply not been understood by most posters. Then I get patronised. I think there needs to be more INFJs on here. The consensus seems to be that if I do not believe the ‘group think’ on here I am wrong or not listening. I joined this group to get INFJ perspectives on things but it seems there are too many non-INFJs who don’t help us in being understood. So many times things are twisted because people do not understand what I meant. Then come snide comments to get ‘superiority’ and impress mates on here. No truth bombs have been dropped here on this thread, you have no idea what goes on in my head. Most of what you say I have already considered. I’d be better off talking to myself most of the time!

It seems that you are right- people here to not relate to how you feel and if that's the response you want then you won't get it. I felt bad that it seemed like you were being piled up on but if all you want is for people to feel the same way that you do about the issue I'm not sure what anybody could to beside not reply to the thread, right?

Hopefully you will find people who feel like you do. I know there are twin flame groups on Facebook. Clearly mbti alone does not dictate beliefs.

 

[David Nelson]

Also, I kept an open mind all through this thread but many assumed I believed the TF because couldn’t face the truth they were espousing. I have been accused of not listening but that is what many were doing here. If I have reasons to back up TF theory, that wasn’t me saying the other theory was necessarily wrong. You see I probably expect too much - a completely open debate where both sides are weighted (I am a Libran after all). It seems many can’t do that, or don’t try to.

I do appreciate most or many posters have good intent. As slant has said, it should be remembered my mental and emotional state is pretty fragile at the moment. I have suffered a lot in my life and been strong mentally for many years, but everyone has a limit, and this current situation seems like it was almost designed to make me go crazy. You could hardly make up the difficulty and potential tragedy in such a situation for me. I am honestly worried about how I move forward in my life. I’ve got plenty of things to do, but I struggle with drive and motivation. I’m acutely aware of some of my failings, it does no good being reminded of them in humour by others. Some aspects of my problems I am probably not wholly aware, but others should not presume to think they know what they are based on supposition or presumption. I have often thought I am too sensitive for this world. Being a HSP necessarily involves much suffering.

 

[Rit4lin]

What I have found many, many times in my life is when I ask people about something, they assume my ignorance and/or usually their superiority in the matter or even generally. But this is absolutely not what I am doing. I am seeking their opinion, which I never assume will always be better than my own, then I decide what to believe myself. Most people don’t seem to get this. I think it is perhaps one of the reasons INFJs get regularly misunderstood. Frequently on this forum, I have made points which have simply not been understood by most posters. Then I get patronised. I think there needs to be more INFJs on here. The consensus seems to be that if I do not believe the ‘group think’ on here I am wrong or not listening. I joined this group to get INFJ perspectives on things but it seems there are too many non-INFJs who don’t help us in being understood. So many times things are twisted because people do not understand what I meant. Then come snide comments to get ‘superiority’ and impress mates on here. No truth bombs have been dropped here on this thread, you have no idea what goes on in my head. Most of what you say I have already considered. I’d be better off talking to myself most of the time!

So you know that you need to move on from this woman and cannot pursue her anymore.
What now are you looking for from members here? Perhaps clarity will help steer this thread from hereon, and help prevent any possible misunderstandings.

 

[philostam]

Also, I kept an open mind all through this thread but many assumed I believed the TF because couldn’t face the truth they were espousing. I have been accused of not listening but that is what many were doing here. If I have reasons to back up TF theory, that wasn’t me saying the other theory was necessarily wrong. You see I probably expect too much - a completely open debate where both sides are weighted (I am a Libran after all). It seems many can’t do that, or don’t try to.

I do appreciate most or many posters have good intent. As slant has said, it should be remembered my mental and emotional state is pretty fragile at the moment. I have suffered a lot in my life and been strong mentally for many years, but everyone has a limit, and this current situation seems like it was almost designed to make me go crazy. You could hardly make up the difficulty and potential tragedy in such a situation for me. I am honestly worried about how I move forward in my life. I’ve got plenty of things to do, but I struggle with drive and motivation. I’m acutely aware of some of my failings, it does no good being reminded of them in humour by others. Some aspects of my problems I am probably not wholly aware, but others should not presume to think they know what they are based on supposition or presumption. I have often thought I am too sensitive for this world. Being a HSP necessarily involves much suffering.

I think probably most of us here are HSPs, so I feel you here. I personally often get overwhelmed in social situations and struggle to process everything at once, it's almost like I need 10 seconds to compose and respond. But you don't get 10 seconds in real life.

You're right that there are some non-INFJs here that perhaps don't always respond with the sole intention of 100% understanding the other. For me, it's hard to do that in real life, let alone online.

You seem to need more understanding/support/someone to listen to, not someone to provide alternate view and inject their opinions. I understand this need, and in my experience it always comes from loneliness. I was there once too, desperately searching for understanding and someone to listen. 99% of the people aren't capable or ready to commit to that, but there are some special souls that are. And even they can only do it for so long, maybe a year max. Expecting that from everyone is unrealistic.

I think objectively there were a lot of truth bombs thrown here, just not at the right time for you, because you need something else at the moment.

 

[John K]

Also, I kept an open mind all through this thread but many assumed I believed the TF because couldn’t face the truth they were espousing. I have been accused of not listening but that is what many were doing here. If I have reasons to back up TF theory, that wasn’t me saying the other theory was necessarily wrong. You see I probably expect too much - a completely open debate where both sides are weighted (I am a Libran after all). It seems many can’t do that, or don’t try to.

I do appreciate most or many posters have good intent. As slant has said, it should be remembered my mental and emotional state is pretty fragile at the moment. I have suffered a lot in my life and been strong mentally for many years, but everyone has a limit, and this current situation seems like it was almost designed to make me go crazy. You could hardly make up the difficulty and potential tragedy in such a situation for me. I am honestly worried about how I move forward in my life. I’ve got plenty of things to do, but I struggle with drive and motivation. I’m acutely aware of some of my failings, it does no good being reminded of them in humour by others. Some aspects of my problems I am probably not wholly aware, but others should not presume to think they know what they are based on supposition or presumption. I have often thought I am too sensitive for this world. Being a HSP necessarily involves much suffering.

David, I’ve just been catching up with the last few pages here. I wonder if it would help if you could reshape what you really need in a different way, and in a new thread? The context here is clouding the issue quite badly.

Others here have deep problems too and some of them have suffered from being on the receiving end of the situation you have described with the girl you are interested in. It’s a context that runs uncomfortably close to violating some deep values for people and so you get a negative response that’s focused on the specifics rather than only your underlying deep need for connection and the difficulty you have in being understood and accepted.

That deep need is something perhaps most people here have struggled with and have the deepest sympathy with. I think you would get a much more empathic and positively supportive response if you expressed it in a different way.

 

[aeon]

Pretty patronising. You don’t understand me at all so you? I know it wasn’t meant that way, but this is the kind of crap I’ve got a lot of my life. Probably why I avoid people a fair bit of the time.

Thank you for acknowledging your awareness of my intent.

At the same time, I offer you my apology for taking the tone I did. I regret that it elicited your memory of past experiences you’d likely rather forget.

In saying I am sorry, I am promising you that it will never happen again.

I wish you well, David. I know that loneliness can be a most terrible experience having been there myself, sometimes years at a time.

I found a way out of it. May it be so with you.

Fare Thee Well,
Ian

 

[Wyote]

 

[Enso]

View attachment 88524

It's not 2015 bruh, meme template outdated. I'm giving you a meme citation. Consider this a warning, don't let me catch you again.

 

[larry806q]

You are doing what you accused INFJs of doing in another thread (taking things too literally)
‘Do not question yourself’ was meant here as trust your instincts, NOT, don’t ever question what you think.

1. He of course knew that before he posted.

2. Pointing out the hypocrisy will get you banned! (or at least shunned)

 

[larry806q]

I know larry pretty well and what he intends.
I'm speaking hyperbolically, which I often do.

LOL...............how would you "know me pretty well"? You wouldn't have the first single clue.

 

[larry806q]

Shit was in all caps, yo. Shouting is a piss-poor way to communicate any degree of subtlety, much less communicate at all.

Plus, I recommend you read @Wyote ’s post again, because there’s enough juicy nuggets for a wisdom smack snack.

Cheers,
Ian

LOL.......OMG!!!!! One word in ALL caps..............the horror of it...........the warning is but around the corner!!!!

In the Thread: "7 ways to tell you re you dating a LOSER!" The title has a word in ALL caps and the post had it four more times. Now beyond the judgmental nature of the thread not with standing, you posted #9 and failed to mention the piss poor method of communication..........

 

[larry806q]

I empathize with what Larry's trying to do here. David's experience has been disputed and/or questioned by the majority of folks on this thread when the intention was probably more along the lines of finding others who have had this experience and getting validation. The tone of this thread was probably influenced by the fact that an advice thread had already been made about the situation and I personally feel I was guilty of continuing that thread rather than just engaging in a theoretical/experienced based discussion on twin flames.

Given, saying you don't believe in something is valuable to a conversation too but I can understand why somebody making a thread like this might want a different reception.

That was certainly well thought out and presented- THANK YOU!

 

[larry806q]

Also you should probably question your instincts, so my whole post shouldn't even be questioned here.
I'm kind of offended because
1. You don't even understand or belong in an interjection here
2. My point is entirely valid

Questioning your instincts is important.

How can a point be "valid" if one doesn't understand or mis-represents the premise? (other than having a red identifier?)

 

[larry806q]

No need to go soft on ‘em, lulz.

I once heard someone say “the unexamined life is not worth living.”

I agree, but I may be biased after having shuffled my own deck a couple of hundred times.

Cheers,
Ian

Other than the fact that I posted to one method or another for David to; "do his work" in posts: 65,66,69,71,73,76,78,91,95 and 127 as well as explained in a post that he needs to believe in himself all of these posts suggesting that somehow *I* suggested he not do his work make perfect sense.

 

[larry806q]

Taking things too literally again and assuming what Larry meant. This is a forum not a discussion between 2 people, so I am allowed to interject. Your point is only valid insofar as it is interpreted or as the person who wrote it meant it. As a statement in isolation, it is highly open to different interpretations.
I’m also offended by you saying my thread about non-INFJ opinions of INFJs was stupid or similar words (plus the allusion this was an INFJ trait in general). Pretty down on INFJs aren’t we?!

That's not going to go over well!! (Well put though and step on your journey - congrats!)

 

[Rit4lin]

@larry806q
Rather than spamming this thread with numerous replies, could you just include it within one message please.
There's no need for a separate post for every reply. If you don't have the time to reply to everything as you wish, then you can save a draft of your message to return to at a later time before posting.

 

[larry806q]

Appropriate!!!!!


Orrr, highly sensitive but intolerant.

You know you are entitled to your pain. Different experiences need not be markers of insensitivity or even attacks to personality. I'm pretty sure some of us are tough people with senses of humor and viewpoints incongruent to yours (myself included), but not all these points necessarily have to be intended for invalidation, specifically. It started as a discussion board so the different perspectives shouldn't be disqualified nor required to tread with sensitivity. If anything, the varied experiences could be a springboard for the mental jumping jack you need to do in order to resolve this internally. Further, anything ceases to be insensitive when you are able to filter which ones you let get under your skin. Your emotions, which many people probably do not know about, is not their primary responsibility. Chances are, people are just expressing their own emotions and opinions which are equally valid.

It's good that you are feeling better. Focus on getting better. You got this.[/QUOTE

Appropriate!!!!!


Ok fair enough! Then can you explain to me how post #142 (I am not good at the quote/copy business) is affirming and helpful and not judgemental? So based on your premise if they are my emotions I am expressing I can shit can you or anyone else because your/their emotions don't matter and I have no responsibility for them? That is indeed very good logic to get around just that argument about David expressing his FEELINGS.

 

[larry806q]

Oh let me make it clear that I wasn't commenting on the specifics of @David Nelson 's relationship to this young lady. I'd need to know a lot more both about him and about her before I could do that. David, I hope you find your way to a fulfilling and lasting partnership with someone.

It's the scripting of the twin flames myth that I have a lot of reservations about, at least in the terms it is expressed in the OP. I put this in a comment a page or so back, and the discussion following that was in the same vein. I'm pointing out that it carries a significant risk of a transference onto the other party and if that happens, it can become a negative and very damaging dark night rather than a positive one for either or both people, to use the terminology of the video.

I would suggest that is a far cry from the initial post, that said. This post is indeed well stated and a very good point(s) to keep in mind as one travels this path.

 

[larry806q]

I’ve never felt an attraction like this to anyone, ever before. My intentions towards her are as pure as the driven snow. I feel I would do anything for her, give her anything she wanted or needed. I am by nature very cautious of people, especially in letting them get close to me, but for this girl I have no worries/qualms. It’s hard to explain, it just feels like the right thing to do. Her age is irrelevant, I just sense a deep connection.

I really don’t know if I am right or wrong about how she feels about me. But I can’t help how I feel about her. Asa/slant can totally relate as she has explained. I’ve tried all through this, which has gone on for over 6 months, to avoid getting too attached without knowing if she feels similar in any way. It has been hard, a kind of emotional limbo. I know how it must look to outsiders, but I have to follow my heart, even if it is to no avail. At least I can say I tried without looking back with regret. Only a fool turns down the potential for love in this life imo. The luckiest person who lives is the one who finds true love, don’t ever give up on that dream.

Just for a bit of perspective..........the first paragraph reads like an intro to a Co-Dependency meeting for those who have no clue about this situation. That might prove useful for the feedback you have or may receive.