Are Platonic Relationships a Myth?

I have had platonic friendships, in that there wasn't any sex. I just don't buy that there isn't sexuality interspersed in there somewhere. If I wasn't interested, if they weren't interested, it all made a difference. I love having guy friends. To be honest, sometimes the only reason they were platonic was because for whatever reason we just didn't go there but the idea was present at some time or another. I have had mixed results with wives/girlfriends of my guy friends. Sometimes it was all good and sometimes they hated me with a passion. It all depends on the dynamic of the friendship or how deep of friends I was with them whether their SO objected or not.
 
AlienSpectator said:
Eventually, my male friends become seriously involved with a woman. The woman always says that she is okay with our friendship. I deliberately conduct these friendships openly to avoid rumours but they are always there. Eventually, they marry and the edict is delivered by the wife - the friendship must end. Now, I fully expect the friendship will change but, end? Really? I cannot see the logic behind it? Not to mention the cruelty? I can't imagine demanding that someone should discard a friend? I miss my friends so much.
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This exact situation has happened to me several times now. In fact, the only way I don't lose my male friends when they marry is if I find a way to have a relationship with the wife to the point where she and I are friends AS WELL AS him and I...

I feel your pain AlienSpectator. I had one relationship in particular where both he and she insisted we could be "friends", but then he would purposefully be mean to me in front of her to keep her from being jealous and she would only talk to me when she wanted information about him. That "friendship" ended up not lasting long. It is SO hard losing friends, especially when it is unexpected.

My few thoughts on this issue are these:

1) There is no way to know, no matter how platonic the relationship, that he NEVER felt anything more than friendship for you (learned that one the hard way :sad:).

2) Some women can't handle anything they perceive as competition, despite whether you are competition or not.

3) The divorce rate is high. Women are going to do what they can to protect their marriage, and for some, that includes cutting out what they feel are unnecessary risks.

It sucks. But like you said, life goes on... And I pray that God will bring you friends to fill the holes left behind by the ones who you have lost...
 
I'm going to throw this out.

Platonic love is the love of mind or spirit. It's independent of sexual interest.

You can love someone for their mind and still want to screw them and decide not to.
You can love someone for their mind and not want to screw them.

Platonic relationship? real.
 
I think it's possible, at least for some people. Maybe not everyone can be friends with the opposite sex.

In my friend group, my sister and I have completely platonic relationships with all the men (except that she has a boyfriend). My other two friends act a little weird around guys, like they're trying too hard. I don't know if that means it's not platonic for them, or if they just think they have to act that way.

I think it depends on the person's expectations.
 
No, they are not a myth and I have many platonic female friends the important distinction I think is that I'm not physically attracted to many of them and the ones that I am I put that on the back burner, not sure if I'm making sense or not a friend I find attractive I'm not likely to have an as close relationship with I suppose.
 
I had an awesome History teacher back in 10th grade.

He stated that no, you cannot have platonic relationships between a straight man and a straight woman. I'm sure the same goes for gay people.

Why? Because even if the relationship acts platonic there are still thoughts of "does s/he like me?" Thoughts like that will never not present.
Now, I'm sure you can have lots of nice little friendships like that. But platonic in the true sense they are not.

The exception is siblings (and other family members).
 
aerosol said:
I had an awesome History teacher back in 10th grade.

He stated that no, you cannot have platonic relationships between a straight man and a straight woman. I'm sure the same goes for gay people.

Why? Because even if the relationship acts platonic there are still thoughts of "does s/he like me?" Thoughts like that will never not present.
Now, I'm sure you can have lots of nice little friendships like that. But platonic in the true sense they are not.

The exception is siblings (and other family members).
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I disagree one of my best friends is female and I don't like her like that and she doesn't like me like that at all in any sense of the word or meaning. The way you say that also insinuates that a gay person couldn't be platonic friends with a straight person.
 
Oh, and some people are saying that platonic relationships are real because they have them and it works because theyre not attracted to the other person.
Well, the other person might be attracted to you.
There will ALWAYS be that slight curiousity, that slight intrigue. I guess unless you both are really repelled by the sight of the other person. That would be another exception.

In your "platonic" relationships, have you ever thought to yourself "[insert name] might be doing this because s/he likes me?"

Bingo.
 
aerosol said:
Oh, and some people are saying that platonic relationships are real because they have them and it works because theyre not attracted to the other person.
Well, the other person might be attracted to you.
There will ALWAYS be that slight curiousity, that slight intrigue. I guess unless you both are really repelled by the sight of the other person. That would be another exception.

In your "platonic" relationships, have you ever thought to yourself "[insert name] might be doing this because s/he likes me?"

Bingo.
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No, she's engaged. And honestly I've never wondered one way or the other if she liked me or not.
 
Sali said:
I disagree one of my best friends is female and I don't like her like that and she doesn't like me like that at all in any sense of the word or meaning. The way you say that also insinuates that a gay person couldn't be platonic friends with a straight person.
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What the?
A gay person and a straight person WILL be platonic friends. There is no sexual attraction there.
 
aerosol said:
What the?
A gay person and a straight person WILL be platonic friends. There is no sexual attraction there.
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But by your logic wouldn't the straight person be wondering if the gay person liked them or not?
 
Sali said:
But by your logic wouldn't the straight person be wondering if the gay person liked them or not?
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NO.

AGAIN, WHAT THE?

Sorry. Just frustrated. I felt it was pretty clear.
If you're gay, you're gay. I wouldn't wonder if a gay guy was attracted to me. Because it would be obvious that he is not.
 
aerosol said:
NO.

AGAIN, WHAT THE?

Sorry. Just frustrated. I felt it was pretty clear.
If you're gay, you're gay. I wouldn't wonder if a gay guy was attracted to me. Because it would be obvious that he is not.
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Eh, sorry I meant to imply a platonic relationship between a gay and straight person of the same gender, it seems as if the same dynamics would apply, also in the situation you stated how would the gay man know that you didn't like him? obviously this wouldn't apply at all between a gay man and a lesbian woman.
 
Sali said:
Eh, sorry I meant to imply a platonic relationship between a gay and straight person of the same gender, it seems as if the same dynamics would apply, also in the situation you stated how would the gay man know that you didn't like him? obviously this wouldn't apply at all between a gay man and a lesbian woman.
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Well, you're making a point there.
But I know could never be attracted to a gay guy, so that settles that I guess. That's just how it goes.
 
aerosol said:
Well, you're making a point there.
But I know could never be attracted to a gay guy, so that settles that I guess. That's just how it goes.
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But there are a also a myriad of reasons that two straight people couldn't be attracted to each other.
 
aerosol said:
Oh, and some people are saying that platonic relationships are real because they have them and it works because theyre not attracted to the other person.
Well, the other person might be attracted to you.
There will ALWAYS be that slight curiousity, that slight intrigue. I guess unless you both are really repelled by the sight of the other person. That would be another exception.

In your "platonic" relationships, have you ever thought to yourself "[insert name] might be doing this because s/he likes me?"

Bingo.
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I disagree. As I stated earlier, in my experience with platonic relationships, the relationship had more of a sibling-like quality to it, so to have any sort of sexual attraction to them would seem almost incestuous, and I know they feel the same way because they have always seen me as "one of the guys" or thought of me as a sister, which is basically their way of saying that they have never been attracted to me in a sexual way, which is fine with me.
 
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