Connection

[Gaze]

How do you define connection? How do you differentiate the different types? emotional, physical, social, personal, spiritual?

Do you think the concept we associated with soulmate is more a question of compatibility (the sense of finding someone who is like you or has understanding about you) rather than a mirror reflection connection?

 

[say what]

How interesting! I've been thinking about this lately too- how do you develop? What causes a connection?

 

[Gaze]

How interesting! I've been thinking about this lately too- how do you develop? What causes a connection?

yeah, I was just thinking how my perception of having a connection has changed. I once thought of connection as some spiritual, personal connection where two people are naturally drawn to each other. Maybe that's just chemistry. However, connections can be rather superficial, which I didn't realize until recently. I almost always assumed connections were something unique or one of a kind or "special". Thing is you can connect with almost anyone on some level.

 

[Kathy]

yeah, I was just thinking how my perception of having a connection has changed. I once thought of connection as some spiritual, personal connection where two people are naturally drawn to each other. Maybe that's just chemistry. However, connections can be rather superficial, which I didn't realize until recently. I almost always assumed connections were something unique or one of a kind or "special". Thing is you can connect with almost anyone on some level.

This too has also been on my mind lately.. I think I used to think that way as well, that people are naturally drawn to each other. But maybe that is just the beginning of something? Like maybe you can choose to act on that connection and nurture it into something even greater.

I've been kind of skimming through a couple articles about connections on the internet and that is what social networking does.. just providing mere connections with others but nothing more than that unless one wills it to go further than that (like using a connection to further deepen a relationship and whatnot....at least that is in my opinion). Because I don't doubt that quality relationships can't form on the internet as I have had personal experience and witnessed it..

 

[Vict]

Fluid.

 

[Gaze]

Fluid.

how is it fluid?

 

[ThomasJ79]

When I feel a spiritual connection, relationships feels effortless and communication just flows openly. Overtime though, most relationships have to be sustained through active effort. There are a few people I have a connection with, to an extent where I may dream about them and then we end up making contact with one another; very strange. With these people, we may go years without keeping in touch and it feels we've hardly missed a beat.

 

[flower]

Very interesting thread. I think that when you feel connected, you're at the same level with the person.

Emotional connection is very strong, because you usually feel it with your body too. If nervous, heart is beating very fast and if anxious, can't breath. Maybe I'm talking about the emotions in general, how they're linked with the body..

But can't add more to that, I don't know either what causes the connection between two people. Where the connection comes from?

 

[Gaze]

This too has also been on my mind lately.. I think I used to think that way as well, that people are naturally drawn to each other. But maybe that is just the beginning of something? Like maybe you can choose to act on that connection and nurture it into something even greater.

Yeah, I think so. I often would assume that a strong connection meant something would last. It didn't occur to be that when you first feel it, it is temporary and surface, and would later need more active effort as @Jimmers said, to sustain the connection and build on it. I just assumed having the connection was enough on it's own to build and maintain the relationship. In other words, connection is just the start, not the entire thing.

I've been kind of skimming through a couple articles about connections on the internet and that is what social networking does.. just providing mere connections with others but nothing more than that unless one wills it to go further than that (like using a connection to further deepen a relationship and whatnot....at least that is in my opinion). Because I don't doubt that quality relationships can't form on the internet as I have had personal experience and witnessed it..

I have a tough time experiencing connections online, because I prefer prefer one-on-one communication. It's tough to maintain something when you don't see or hear the person regularly or when that person is not a part of your everyday life and you can't share the daily details.

The other aspect of connections that was always interesting to me is when it's not mutual. I always assumed having a connection means that both people are feeling the same type of connection. I've also come to realize that people experience their connections differently from each other. I think we assume the person we have the connection is experiencing their connection in the same way. I remember going through times where I convinced I had this deep emotional or spiritual connection with somene, when it was the complete opposite. It was just a nice, casual connection, nothing more.

 

[Gaze]

Very interesting thread. I think that when you feel connected, you're at the same level with the person.

Emotional connection is very strong, because you usually feel it with your body too. If nervous, heart is beating very fast and if anxious, can't breath. Maybe I'm talking about the emotions in general, how they're linked with the body..

But can't add more to that, I don't know either what causes the connection between two people. Where the connection comes from?

Yeah, I think this was probably what many people considered a true connection especially when many think of "soulmates." It's one of those truly special intense feelings and responses to someone which can be very overwhelming, especially if passion comes with it. It's what I had as my ideal at some point, until I realized that somenoe can go mad chasing after it. I think people connect with each other on so many levels, and it can be easy to dismiss a connection because it doesn't start out as intensely emotional as we hope. Emotional connections can be built over time. Unfortunately, sometimes we rush something from the initial feelings of chemistry, resulting in the emotional part not having as good a chance to catch up or develop properly.

 

[sassafras]

I think any time you come into contact with someone, you have a connection. There are strong connections and there are weak connections. Some are easier to foster into stronger connections, whereas others require real effort and a willingness from both parties. You feel a 'disconnect' when when a previously strong connection starts to wane or you don't see eye to eye on an important issue or are simply not in sync energetically. It sounds like a whole bunch of foo-foo when I say 'energetically' but that's really the only way you can describe a connection with another person; a large part of human interaction is the energy you bring to the moment and that's dictated by what you're personally drawn to in the here and now.

For instance, you walk into a room and you're nervous to meet people. You'll probably end up subconsciously seeking out other people who are more or less in the same mind-state to maintain a comfortable energy equilibrium. Being challenged to come out of your shell when you don't want to or are worried about doing so, you're not going to connect well with people that issue that challenge or that don't at least understand where you're coming from (exhibit compassion). When you switch your mind-state, however, you also switch your energy levels and you'll be drawn to people that you maybe weren't drawn to before. Think about the last time you loosened up at a party after you had a few drinks. You probably ended up talking to people you never would have talked to before. It wasn't the alcohol in your blood stream that drew you to those people; it was the fact that you loosened up enough to be able to accommodate other people's energies because your usual inhibitions were lowered.

The people that establish connections easily are those who have compassion and interest in others and who are willing to explore those connection without fearing for themselves. Those who have a harder time connecting are usually those who are self-conscious and keep a significant amount of their energy wrapped up in themselves to stay on 'defense.' When you're self-conscious, you have a smaller pool of people you can comfortably connect with because you're not as free to adjust their energy levels to the other person. On the other hand, when you let yourself go and be in the moment, you're more open and able to accommodate all sorts of different energies.

As to the types of connections, it depends on relationship with the other person. You can have a romantic connection (one or both of you shows an interest in the other romantically) or a spiritual connection (one or both of you strongly relates to the other person's world-views in that they almost entirely mirror one's own) or a sexual connection (one or both of you finds the other sexually attractive). The quality of the connection can still be defined as either 'weak' or 'strong' but the content of the connection depends on the interest you have at stake.

 

[Gaze]

I think any time you come into contact with someone, you have a connection. There are strong connections and there are weak connections.

I think this is probably more true than not. It is also the reason it is easy to misunderstand what should be expected from a connection. I've invested in weak connections because I didn't realize they were weak or meant to be superficial, while there's a chance I've missed chances to develop stronger connections because the connection appeared weak to start.

 

[Deleted member 10171]

Connection is very important to me but I have different expectations depending on the situation and the biggest polarity would be in my professional v personal life. For me, spiritual connection is the most powerful form of connection. I find it relatively easy to connect with different types of people as it comes naturally to me to walk in their shoes. However, I do get bored very easily so the connection has to continually evolve, be challenging, supportive, meaningful and oodles of fun.

Similarities builds connections but I also see opposing differences as a good way of jarring my senses and allowing for unexpected connections to occur.

Never-ending general chit chat, inauthenticity, narcissism, routine and blatant rudeness causes me to disconnect.

 

[BrokenDaniel]

For me every type of connection (intellectual, physical, spiritual) is equally valuable, doesn't matter what you share with that person, it is still something that you should take care of, and be grateful for, even if it's just one person... However, unfortunetly i'm not an example of this, quite the contrary.

As for soulmates, don't know, it's more than compatibility, with my soulmate it was like... Meant to be, we didn't shared too much interests, and came from pretty different backgrounds, even personality wise, we weren't really compatible. But... i can't do the talk for her, but for me, it was just, like, we're one, and the suffering that comes with that certainty. Probably it was an illusion, and certainly hormones, but what the hell, it was still pretty real to me.

 

[Gaze]

For me every type of connection (intellectual, physical, spiritual) is equally valuable, doesn't matter what you share with that person, it is still something that you should take care of, and be grateful for, even if it's just one person... However, unfortunetly i'm not an example of this, quite the contrary.

great way to think about it. appreciate what you got, right?

As for soulmates, don't know, it's more than compatibility, with my soulmate it was like... Meant to be, we didn't shared too much interests, and came from pretty different backgrounds, even personality wise, we weren't really compatible. But... i can't do the talk for her, but for me, it was just, like, we're one, and the suffering that comes with that certainty. Probably it was an illusion, and certainly hormones, but what the hell, it was still pretty real to me.

I also think this idea of connection between soulmates a little more realistic. It was always assumed that soulmates were the same or compatible on every level. I, for one, never really considered until recently, that a soulmate doesn't have to be like you or reflect you in every way. I have someone in my life who I feel strongly connected to and we have absolutely nothing in common except movies . But we are extremely different. At one point, I wrote it off because I felt we were far too different to really make sense but yet we're drawn to each other in a way that I can't really ignore. Not sure if it's soulmate, but even if it is, I no longer hold romantic views about the concept. I think it's probably as simple as enjoying the unique connection you have with someone as long you have it.

 

[BrokenDaniel]

Fwiw, i think that there are many ways to find your soulmate, not only opposites. I've met couples who seem pretty much in love, and taken separetedly, are exactly the same person, i've met once a couple who seemed more like brothers, they even resembled each other physically and everyone around thought the same as me.
Also i've recently connected with someone and i see a lot of myself in her, and she told me the same.
For me it just happens, rarely, but it does. I'm also friends with a couple of guys who don't seem to have anything in common with me, i mean, nothing, zero, it's funny because one of them is an ESTP which would be the opposite of my MBTI type... However, once a teacher told us that friendship is mostly made by shared experiences, and i concur with that statement.

 

[Vict]

Fluid. Flexible. Undefined.

Noncommittal.