Corrupt A Wish

You get a shiny new car, but it breaks down on your way home. Getting out of your vehicle, you note that the forest around you is unfamiliar and that there is a dense fog rolling in. Wary, you pull out your cell phone - only to find that it's out of power. You walk a mile down the road and still nothing. No buildings, no humanity, nothing. You hear a noise in the distance - it's another car approaching! You wave them down, and, hoping to get on the good side of the driver, compliment them on their automobile.

"Yeah, just bought it today. It's used but runs like a dream."

"I just got a car today too, a brand new model... but it broke down."

"Sucks to be you!" They laugh and speed away.

You walk, on and on, and the last people to see you are the car dealer and the other driver. You vanish mysteriously and are never heard from again.

I wish I could speak every language.
 
You can speak every language, but absolutely no one can understand you.

I wish i was a real boy :p
 
Immediately everyone around you turns into plastic, even the ladies. In fact, something's wrong with the animals... They're taxidermy. You suddenly realize the ground your standing on is some sort of astro turf, and the sky is actually a matte painting. You squint to see the sun is also actually a lamp. You are a real human, alright, but now a miniature one living in a model world.

Oh, I wish I had an Oscar-Myer wiener....
 
Horatio said:
Immediately everyone around you turns into plastic...
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hmmmm.... okay...
**reads on**
even the ladies
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crap. :(

[MENTION=3791]knight in battle[/MENTION] you have your sports car, but it is a manual and cannot go past first gear.

i wish i had more interesting dreams
 
Granted, but you love it so much you don't ever want to leave and become so morbidly obese that a small crane must be hired to extract you from your house.

I wish I could fly.
 
Granted. She steals all your teeth overnight and you have to buy $5000 dentures and can never chew hard foods again.

I wish I had the power of invisibility.
 
Granted, now you are invisible, forever. No one shall ever see you and you will fall into a whole of desperation and loneliness. Wondering in the crowded world as if no one is there.

PS: F''' that is not funny at all.

I wish I was not so creepy in my writings.
 
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Shaqie said:
Granted, now you are invisible, forever. No one shall ever see you and you will fall into a whole of desperation and loneliness. Wondering in the crowded world as if no one is there.

PS: F''' that is not funny at all.

I wish I was not so creepy in my writings.
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You are now less creepy in your writings. Now your writing sounds nice and bubbly (in a non-creepy way).

I wish I lived in Narnia.
 
knight in battle said:
You are now less creepy in your writings. Now your writing sounds nice and bubbly (in a non-creepy way).

I wish I lived in Narnia.
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Granted, except you forgot to specify which form you would take in narnia, therefore you are a malignant tumor on the Jesus-Lions anus.

I wish I had thermo-nuclear device with launch codes and untraceable nuclear material. That doesn leak or give me cancer from being in close proximity.
 
Billy said:
Granted, except you forgot to specify which form you would take in narnia, therefore you are a malignant tumor on the Jesus-Lions anus.

I wish I had thermo-nuclear device with launch codes and untraceable nuclear material. That doesn leak or give me cancer from being in close proximity.
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Granted but it is located underwater and has corroded to the point that it is practically useless.

i wish for tomorrow to be a fantastic day beyond my wildest dreams
 
It is so fantastic that it disturbs the time-space continuum and destroys today.

I wish I could read Sanskrit.
 
Stu said:
It is so fantastic that it disturbs the time-space continuum and destroys today.

I wish I could read Sanskrit.
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Granted - You can now read Sanskrit. You find the stories and writings in Sanskrit that you become enchanted by them, and you aren't able to stop reading. :p

I wish I could read Russian.
 
knight in battle said:
Granted - You can now read Sanskrit. You find the stories and writings in Sanskrit that you become enchanted by them, and you aren't able to stop reading. :p

I wish I could read Russian.
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Granted. I teach you one day and you can read anything in Russian but perhaps, not understand what you read lol

I want better glutes :pound:
 
Granted, your glutes become so becoming that no one wants to look you in the eye anymore and people start calling you "glute girl" which really bugs you.


I wish that I could play the drums.
 

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Granted. You can now play the drums but the noise aggravates your neighbour so much, he ends up killing you.

I wish to be a cyborg.
 
Jacobi said:
I wish to be a cyborg.
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Well, you know how it goes: to make a cyborg, you need a body. You thought "hey, this private science lab needs body donations for a new research program in robotic/engineering experimentation; Imma do it!" But you didn't read the fine print in the contract, and now the scientists are performing horrific experiments on you until you die. Then they rebuild you as a cyborg. Even more unfortunate, you didn't bother reading what kind of cyborg they were building. But look on the bright side: you're the new cutting-edge advancement in toilet cleaning technology!

I wish I could talk to animals.
 
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