Corrupt a wish

granted, but your "holiday" is brought on by breaking both your legs. You've been wanting to put your feet up though, right?

I wish I was fluent in all languages.
 
Granted, you speak all languages but one. Chewbaca

I wish I was so funny I didn't even have to say anything.
 
Granted. You are so funny that people literally die from laughter.

I wish I could control the weather.
 
granted your fish sticks are so selfish they eat themselves

I wish to be 10 years old again
 
Granted, your ten years old again but you are part of a cult that does not allow children to be childish; you are worked to the bone and never allowed to speak.

I wish I knew exactly how to flirt.
 
Granted, but you end up with a broken heart.

I wish I could be more than I am, less than I can be, and exactly what someone would want of me.
 
granted you're schizophrenic

I wish I had more money to spend on furniture
 
Granted, but you put them in the wrong places.

I wish I knew where I put lost stuff.
 
granted you remember where you put them but forget what they're for

I wish I could sing well
 
granted, applause!

i wish to duel someone back in fencing days
 
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Granted. Your teacher shows how much you have to learn over the next several years.....in front of all your friends.

I wish I could concentrate on things like I used to.
 
granted. You had to go back in time to when you could concentrate adequately, but the time machine breaks and you end up in a Concentration Camp during the 1930s. Good luck.

I wish I could eat without the consequences of calories.
 
granted it's because you're sick and keep throwing your food back up

I wish I had a dalmatian
 
Granted, but you must call him Spot.

I wish I could sleep better.
 
Granted, You shall sleep till the end of time.

I wish that before the fall of mankind, we will reach our greatest possible positive potential.
 
Declined, an optimist would not grant.

I wish cooking recipes would be ingrained in my brain.
 
granted, everything else gets pushed out in the process though and you have to relearn how to walk, talk etc.

I wish there was a human zoo and farm animals could go visit it
 
..but there is. Now we must pay our taxes with no money and entertain our guests.

I wish for my property taxes to be paid for the rest of my life.
 
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granted, they're paid off but you have no money for food ever

I wish life had a fast forward button
 
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