Dating other INFJs?

My best relationship was with an INFP, it was really great and we really got on but half the time she felt like she couldn't live up to my standards. This was purely because she never wished to follow any of the dreams she had. She's merely sit there and wish her life away while I went and done/am doing everything I've ever wanted to (barring the obvious things such as violent actions on another). Maybe that's why she found someone else, but I call that a bad excuse. =]

INFJ - INFJ? I would love to try that, I can never seem to find anyone who holds love in as high a regard as I do in real life.
 
I've had a terrible exclusive Ne-dom bias for a decade or so and am now permanently off the market, but hypothetically I would say it could work out. ..From what I gather reading the INFJ males thread INFJ males are pretty much eerily a lot like me but with man parts. So I guess there could have been romance filled with Kung-fu movies and Baudelaire in some alternate universe.
 
I have spent some significant amount of time with two female infj's and I have to say that the perks are few and far between. I remember in social interactions we could lean on each other if we needed to talk to someone. We could talk about anything but I felt no spark in the process, just a sense of comfort. I wonder if all infj's give this feeling of comfort to people they talk with?
 
I'm currently in a relationship with another INFJ. We do indeed experience a lot of ups and downs but overall it's the type of relationship that's built firmly on loyalty and real, unconditional love. We've weathered a lot of storms together; there's something comforting about knowing you're both in the same place (or at least know the place in which your partner is.)
My best friend (INFJ) is also dating an INFJ girl and on the rare occasions on which we have compared notes, so to speak, the results were similar. :)

Verdict: Beautiful, passionate and most definitely NOT for the faint of heart. Our lows are some of the lowest I've ever heard of, but our highs are ecstatic. Alas, variety is the spice of life-- and neither of us is going anywhere anytime soon.
 
I dated another INFJ recently - not because they were an INFJ specifically, just because I liked them. It felt amazing, like I had found my soulmate... But then they abruptly left me with no explanation and now, two months later, seem to have completely forgotten me. I keep trying to understand their actions through my own mindset and it's super confusing. Whereas I find it extremely hard to move on and let go, they've done it almost instantly. So despite having the same MBTI type, we are different in so many ways.

I think INFJ-INFJ relationships can work, but they are extremely complex. When I'm ready to date again I'll definitely be looking for someone different who can balance out my personality better. Dating another INFJ just brought out my introversion and insecurities. There's double the good but also double the bad.
 
Not sure where I remember this from...but i do recall seeing some sort of "study" done on level of satisfaction with romantic relationships.... they looked at all 16 types, and every possible combination.

seems that every type scored somewhere between 1 and 100 (100 being very very happy in love, 1 being i'm gonna rip their/my brains out)... EXCEPT INFJ and INFP relations (160ish?? I believe) and then some incredible INFJ and INFJ relationships...like off the charts (500-600 or something sick like that)

I'm probably getting these numbers very wrong, if they are even "very right" to start with! but... yea... everyone fell between 1 to 100, except INFJ/INFP's who were notably higher, and then INFJ/INFJ, that nothing else even came remotely close to in terms of satisfaction.

Oh, and the guy INFJ's were happier with INFP's or INFJ's than the female INFJ's were with the guy versions.

so for all you straight male INFJ's out there... rumor has it that you can acheive a level of satisfaction in your romantic relationships that no other type can even seek to comprehend (save maybe another female INFJ/INFP)

long time ago... remember this from...oh gee... 12 years ago?

FWIW...i've seen kinda how this would play out (i've known more than my share of female INFJ's, and male INFP's)... and ya... when it "clicks" it's... beyond what I personally would be able to experience. Just a constant synergy and multi-layered non-verbal understanding that each aspect of resonates so strongly with the other, and then knowing this, it only increases this sense of satisfaction with the other, other person...and so on...etc.

I'm just a bit too egocentric and logical to experience such a constant emotional flow like that... but, there are many times (usually a couple times a month, if not more) that the wife and I experience something that evokes a similar feeling of wonder and fulfillment. but it's only if we "make time" for that type of thing. otherwise, I personally float about 2-3 emotional layers away from that at any given time. But kudos to u INFJ's out there, if my memory and that "study" are in any way correct, you guys have some pretty fucking amazing relationship experience potential there!

-E
 
Neverwhere said:
I'm not too sure about INFJ - INFJ. I mean, I'd be willing to give it a go if I met someone...but I think someone a little more different to me would be better. I've said it before, I'll say it again....too pissed off INFJs in a relationship? Some scary shit, man!
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Oh yes. Two INFJs married to each other is a fascinating experience indeed. I speak from personal experience. :D
 
With regards to ENT8 (I'm not gonna bother quoting because it would take up too much space) I think that makes sense. I dated an INFP girl recently: we'd been platonic friends for a while, and neither of us had the time necessary to take it to a very high level, but it was still the most blissful experience of my life. It was like having the world's best therapist, but she also tells you she loves you and she's 100% free (aside from buying presents and meals).

I do not know of any certain INFJs I've met of either gender, and, though there are several people I know who display some of our characteristics, I've never dated any of them. However, based on my adoration of Natalie Portman (by all accounts an INFJ), it sounds decidedly idyllic.
 
SoulMusic said:
I don't think I've ever met a male INFJ.
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I did once. He pissed me off because he was so wishy-washy. I had to make all the decisions for the both of us. He was also a wuss, and kind of scared of me. He also kept worrying about what people thought of him.

As for positives, he was super-fun to chat with, genuinely nice, and emotionally intuitive.
 
I know this is an old thread, but I thought I'd briefly add my two cents worth.

I'm an INFJ and I'm marrying my INFJ fiancée in January. We've been together for over 6 years, and it has been an incredible relationship the whole time. The sensitivity that we both have for each other is strong, and even when we do have moments where we are both feeling upset about something at the same time, we always find a way to talk through our feeling and come to understand the context of what upset us both. She is more inclined to talk about how she is feeling than I am (though I am pretty reasonable at it myself, of course); so that makes a big difference. I'm a bit more self-assured (at least outwardly), though I think having each other's emotional support has increased this in both of us. We are super co-dependent though haha - but we like it that way.

Also, we both met in our late 20s and are now in our mid-30s, so perhaps our own growth and self-insight, independent of each other has brought out more of the strengths of personality type, than the weaknesses? We've also been fortunate enough to live with each other for most of those 6 years - and have only ever spent 1 day apart (did I mention that we're co-dependent haha?).
 
I've dated ENTJ and INFP and another I'm assuming to be INFJ, but I can't confirm this so I won't include her in.

Toxic INFP's inherent misery and endless inner turmoil becomes my problem, as the empath who wants to fix people. So I'm not interested in this type for much other than a friendship. Life may throw a curveball, so I'm not against meeting one. I do have very good INFP friends.

ENxx are fun, witty and sexy people. Extroverts can be a little too much for me sometimes, though.

The best emotional connection was with another INFJ. She lived in another country, and it wasn't going to work out...

So with that said, honestly I am more inclined towards INFJ women from personal experience. One of the biggest factors for me is the want / need / desire to be understood, and to understand on a very deep level. I've not felt understood on such a level before.
 
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MissionHouse said:
I know hardly any other INFJ's. Where are they? I have a downstairs neighbour who's a bonafide ENFJ, and I tells ya--I really wish she was an INFJ. Not that I would date her...I'm a straight female.

Apparently Jamie Foxx is an INFJ. I would definitely date him. But he lives in another country, alas.
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I don;t know if it's his public persona but Jamie fox seems like a very unhealthy INFJ to me:grimacing:
 
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I did!
We'd still be together now had I not screwed it up.

It's not at all like dating yourself.

It's extremely frustrating. Here's why...

We all have preconceived notions. We all have in our mind that for the most part all INFJs are the same. We'll react the same, want the same things, processing works the same etc....
That's not the case! Not at all. Each one of us has proclivities the other isn't privy to. Different expectations, different needs. One may be more introverted than the other. Then the other psychology. One may be avoidant the other may be axious.
Cimmunication styles get involved too!

What's so great about it is...you can actually be yourself with this person. No matter how weird. There's no pretending. Everything is real.

There is an extreme type of syncronicity almost psychic. You'll connect even in dreams with how they're feeling. Conversation can go any which way. Even talking about the weather. Everything just feels natural and normal.

You will fall in love very fast. That love will feel different than any other relationship you've ever had. It's deep and shallow at the same time.

The problem is both of you knowing the future with each other. Just not knowing how it gets there. They will be your forever in your mind.

But, you'll have communication priblpro when it comes to needs in the relationship. This is from preconceived notions about INFJ and assuming they have the same needs as you. All times you will have that psychic connection except here! This is where you don't connect and every word no matter how concisely you phrase it will be misunderstood by the other.

If you do date an INFJ I highly recommend learning each other's love language. Build on that. Knowing this will stop almost every problem. Because this is where we become self centered or misunderstood.

Let them know what your love language is. Find theirs. Have a deep conversation about this. Make sure you both are absolutely clear on this. These are your NEEDS in the relationship and their NEEDS.

It's the lack of action towards the others love language that causes all the hurt and confusion in any relationship, ESPECIALLY for INFJ.
 
Pin said:
If this place becomes a dating site...

Ladies, I am definitely not the billionaire playboy named Bruce Wayne.
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Ok Wuce Brayne
 
Wyote said:
Ok Wuce Brayne
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Yeah?

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