Do first impressions last?

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Gaze

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INFPishy
Do first impressions last? Why or why not

Are first impressions really that important in the long run?
 
They last for me. I always remember the first impression that I've got from someone and it always plays into how I interact with that person for pretty much the rest of time. That's not to say that I can't warm up to a person if they make a bad impression. I do like to give people the opportunity to show me more than just that tiny fraction of who they are.
 
Carrie said:
Do first impressions last? Why or why not

Are first impressions really that important in the long run?
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Not particularly. Judging at first glance is like looking through a dusty window. You (usually) have to knock on the door in order to see all the furnishings properly. Sometimes it matches what you saw earlier, but most of the time, when you deal with other people, they have stuff you can't see from the outside. I tend to treat people with a relaxed manner; I'll give the benefit of the doubt until they trod on me. If I can't outright drop them, cool cordiality will be all they get.

First impressions aren't important long-term unless backed up by similar impressions later. People can act nice and be disruptive, or seem disruptive and truly be/try to be nice. I usually wait a little while before forming opinions, unless something screams at me to get away.

I think a good question to ask is "why did first and last impressions differ?"
 
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Depends who you give the impression, and how long you're around them

NJs I know sometimes seem to place people in interestingly specific categories based on the moment...like this one time that my INFJ brother saw me apparently acting like a crazed pharmacologist, and pointed out that I'd just need some glasses to fit the image of one

My first impression of someone is very rarely in the front of my mind, if I'm seeing them later on.
It can sometimes be important to remember what your first impression of someone was, especially if you're very intuitive. Not necessarily "believe" in it enough to override everything else...but it may eventually be extremely useful information
 
I don't tend to put much emphasis on my first impression of anyone, I am usually completely wrong. I guess I'm not terribly intuitive in that area. Most people I wind up becoming good friends with, I actually completely disliked upon first impression. At this point, I'm kind of wary of those whom I do like upon first impression, lol. They are usually the ones who turn out to be jerks.

I also ask people to not judge me by their first impression, since I, like many an introvert I'm sure, tend to be very quiet, observant, and withdrawn around people I have either just met or do not know well. However, when around people I'm comfortable with, I am completely different: opinionated, talkative, and goofy, probably to the point of being a little obnoxious. :)
 
Vicarious said:
I don't tend to put much emphasis on my first impression of anyone, I am usually completely wrong. I guess I'm not terribly intuitive in that area. Most people I wind up becoming good friends with, I actually completely disliked upon first impression. At this point, I'm kind of wary of those whom I do like upon first impression, lol. They are usually the ones who turn out to be jerks.

I also ask people to not judge me by their first impression, since I, like many an introvert I'm sure, tend to be very quiet, observant, and withdrawn around people I have either just met or do not know well. However, when around people I'm comfortable with, I am completely different: opinionated, talkative, and goofy, probably to the point of being a little obnoxious. :)
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Can strongly relate to this^^^. I'm pretty much the same. I always appear quite serious and uptight in the beginning but if I feel comfortable with someone, I usually more relaxed. Too many persons I notice judge someone as mean or difficult to get along with or unhappy simply because they are not extroverted or outgoing you first meet them.
 
I recall a study where they found that a lot of judgement comes within 15 seconds of meeting a person.

I'm pretty quick to judge folks and I do think that in high-pressure situations I can make big decisions just based on a short glimpse of a person. Obviously an individual might not be "at their best" when I first see them, but if I care about a relationship, I try to put on a good face for the first meeting. If a person can't retain a reasonable amount of composure when I first talk to them I will totally pass them off as flakey or sensitive.

I'm very auditory so I get a lot if input from people's tone of voice. I know plenty of people who just have plain nice voices. I also like the sounds of certain languages and can identify a lot of them even though I don't speak them. That's kinda off-topic but it's an example of I don't judge people's personality by their actions entirely.
 
no, everyone gets more chances with me. . .I figure that I need them too. .
 
Until they are otherwise contradicted, yes, and that might be difficult to do.
 
When I first see or meet someone, I tend to hold on to that image. This impression serves as a standard with which to compare initial behaviors of that person, in an effort to rate them on a variety of levels. Facial expression (especially in the eyes), physical tension, openness, and authenticity of meaning are all factors that I take into account when 'gauging'.

However the first impression can also serve in the long term- specifically when I am dealing with a person over an extended period of time on an increasing degree of intimacy. If I know how an acquaintance behaves when they are, on some level, closed off to me, then I have a better chance of detecting when that behavior changes- allowing me to take advantage of the insightful opportunity as I see fit.

That being said, further impressions of a person are much more effective when generally dealing with someone.

(Got to go on a run...)
 
First impressions always last for me because they are intertwined with how i feel about a person. Its like weaving to me, each time you meet you add more to it but you always remember where you started.
 
my brother told me that for most people the impression that matters is the one they had last time they saw you, and they just sort of choose to forget anything incongruent with it that came before.
 
First impressions stick with me, but become humorous, because they are so far off. :)
 
I think first impressions last but then there's always the possibility that someone can later reverse them. It's normal I guess for people to preserve the first image they have of someone.
 
No, not in the slightest.

I typically spend a considerable amount of time (over)analyzing a person before I can make any sort of a semblance of a judgment about them. Body language, how they speak, what they say, their inclinations, ethics, and a bunch of other crap is thus repeatedly scrutinized. To get a feel for them, I also ask certain questions or say certain things that'll elicit a response that provides me insight into certain aspects of their character, belief system, and whatnot. First impressions don't mean much, they're just the first of MANY impressions that I eventually compile into one unique whole that makes up the individual - new bits of information that they provide me can easily be assimilated into who I previously believed them to be, or the new bits could entirely displace the old, with little/no resistance - because, usually, there's not much to displace because for quite a while, my opinion of the individual will be up in the air.

Of course, it's integral to initially get a feel for the person so that one can make the most of one's interactions with the other person in question, but these "feels" are most often fleeting and wholly unsatisfying. There are too many variables to take into consideration, anything could be causing someone to appear a certain way when you first meet them, but it could ultimately hold no indication of their true character; what they appeared to be was merely a consequence of their temporary circumstances.

Or something like that.
 
hush said:
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I typically spend a considerable amount of time (over)analyzing a person before I can make any sort of a semblance of a judgment about them. Body language, how they speak, what they say, their inclinations, ethics, and a bunch of other crap is thus repeatedly scrutinized.

...

...new bits of information that they provide me can easily be assimilated into who I previously believed them to be, or the new bits could entirely displace the old, with little/no resistance - because, usually, there's not much to displace because for quite a while, my opinion of the individual will be up in the air.

Of course, it's integral to initially get a feel for the person so that one can make the most of one's interactions with the other person in question, but these "feels" are most often fleeting and wholly unsatisfying. There are too many variables to take into consideration, anything could be causing someone to appear a certain way when you first meet them, but it could ultimately hold no indication of their true character; what they appeared to be was merely a consequence of their temporary circumstances.
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I agree with this, it's how I see things and operate too.
 
In retrospect, my first impression of a person has always been the best and most accurate. That said, it's good to let your understanding of a person's character change with time -- that is, from a philosophical point of view, we couldn't function as a society if we didn't forgive each other, and generally give people the benefit of the doubt.
 
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