[ENFP] Does she like me? Do you guys ever take a week alone time from someone you love?

Honestly, @Deleted member 16771, flirting is useless. In the moment, it makes me feel slightly better...but then I remember the connection I had with her and it feels like I'll never have that connection with anyone else.

The flirting just ends up hurting me. It's a band aid. Feck.

Now I'm just being a whiny little bitch, but it helps me feel better when I'm able to voice it.
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
Honestly, @Deleted member 16771, flirting is useless. In the moment, it makes me feel slightly better...but then I remember the connection I had with her and it feels like I'll never have that connection with anyone else.

The flirting just ends up hurting me. It's a band aid. Feck.
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I know what you mean, man. I'm not sure that the romantically casual culture we've built since the mid twentieth century is really very satisfying for most people.

Human beings fundamentally want to be valued, and to value others in the same degree. The less we value others by diminishing our exclusive connection to them, the less we ultimately value ourselves.

Now I'm just being a whiny little bitch, but it helps me feel better when I'm able to voice it.
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Yeah that's bullshit, especially in a place like this. Vent and express your true feelings - that reflex you just had keeps a lot of men down and its tragic.
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
The flirting just ends up hurting me. It's a band aid
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:fearful:

Deleted member 16771 said:
I know what you mean, man. I'm not sure that the romantically casual culture we've built since the mid twentieth century is really very satisfying for most people.

Human beings fundamentally want to be valued, and to value others in the same degree. The less we value others by diminishing our exclusive connection to them, the less we ultimately value ourselves.


Yeah that's bullshit, especially in a place like this. Vent and express your true feelings - that reflex you just had keeps a lot of men down and its tragic.
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Goodness you're both making me cry. Why do people hurt themselves as they heal?
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
I know what you mean, man. I'm not sure that the romantically casual culture we've built since the mid twentieth century is really very satisfying for most people.

Human beings fundamentally want to be valued, and to value others in the same degree. The less we value others by diminishing our exclusive connection to them, the less we ultimately value ourselves.


Yeah that's bullshit, especially in a place like this. Vent and express your true feelings - that reflex you just had keeps a lot of men down and its tragic.
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I hate the casual culture. So, so much. Hookup culture was never a good thing.

I'm just afraid of the thinkers coming and shitting on me for falling so deep down the rabbit hole.
MINFJToothFairy said:
:fearful:



Goodness you're both making me cry. Why do people hurt themselves as they heal?
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Because we can't stand the way things are so we try to change them, only making things worse in the process?
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
I hate the casual culture. So, so much. Hookup culture was never a good thing.

I'm just afraid of the thinkers coming and shitting on me for falling so deep down the rabbit hole.

Because we can't stand the way things are so we try to change them, only making things worse in the process?
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Well it's always darkest before dawn. Right?
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
Honestly, @Deleted member 16771, flirting is useless. In the moment, it makes me feel slightly better...but then I remember the connection I had with her and it feels like I'll never have that connection with anyone else.

The flirting just ends up hurting me. It's a band aid. Feck.

Now I'm just being a whiny little bitch, but it helps me feel better when I'm able to voice it.
Click to expand...

You just gotta let yourself feel what you feel. When you're aware you're bandaging up the hurt with something else, the bandaid is never going to feel good. Hurt needs to be processed, not waved away or shoved down or supplanted. Go ahead and be a whiny little bitch. This is a whiny little bitch safe zone. We've all taken turns passing around the baton. No one is going to judge you for it. Bleed your feelings. We gotchu.

As for flirting, it's one of those things that's ambiguous. Some people take it more seriously than others; others think its rather harmless. Around these parts, though... I think most of us on the forum understand we're being cheeky with one another because it's not something that few of us here can actually follow up on.... and we enjoy having a bit of fun with our friends and making them feel good at the same time. :)
 
sassafras said:
You just gotta let yourself feel what you feel. When you're aware you're bandaging up the hurt with something else, the bandaid is never going to feel good. Hurt needs to be processed, not waved away or shoved down or supplanted. Go ahead and be a whiny little bitch. This is a whiny little bitch safe zone. We've all taken turns passing around the baton. No one is going to judge you for it. Bleed your feelings. We gotchu.

As for flirting, it's one of those things that's ambiguous. Some people take it more seriously than others; others think its rather harmless. Around these parts, though... I think most of us on the forum understand we're being cheeky with one another because it's not something that few of us here can actually follow up on.... and we enjoy having a bit of fun with our friends and making them feel good at the same time. :)
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I get it. Thanks guys. I've never been in this deep before. I have been close with another INFJ, but not this deep. I also never had a real opportunity to meet the other one, so that sort of dampened stuff.

Also, I have 180 posts here in like 2 days...wow. Help.
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
I get it. Thanks guys. I've never been in this deep before. I have been close with another INFJ, but not this deep. I also never had a real opportunity to meet the other one, so that sort of dampened stuff.

Also, I have 180 posts here in like 2 days...wow. Help.
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This is our safe zone. Don't worry about it. We've all been vulnerable here. Haha
 
I didn't read the entire thread, just the OP and some follow-up posts, but my overall gut feeling on the subject is: RUN!!!!!

This isn't specifically INFJ related, but about her behavior, the long-distance romance (indicating that you do not truly know her), and how she is currently treating you.

I think you got off easy.

Move on with your life.
 
Asa said:
I didn't read the entire thread, just the OP and some follow-up posts, but my overall gut feeling on the subject is: RUN!!!!!

This isn't specifically INFJ related, but about her behavior, the long-distance romance (indicating that you do not truly know her), and how she is currently treating you.

I think you got off easy.

Move on with your life.
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"Were it so easy..." - The Arbiter
 
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HorsesIncorporated said:
I'm going to give her 2 weeks and then message her. I guess I just wanted some INFJ opinions on this...
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2 weeks is too long. INFJ or not, you are responsible for your own happiness. If it is meant to be than you need to talk to her now, otherwise, it's time to move on.

I'm sorry you are going through this, but everyone has to at some point in there lives.

Married for over ten years. Breakups hurt, but persisting in something instead of moving on is worse.

Love is reciprocal, which implies that communication cannot be just on her time. Take time, but not more than a couple of days. I am an INFJ, and it has never taken me more than a couple of days to recuperate. The discussion you will have with her will be enlightening, but mabey not to your satisfaction. You will live.

Peace.
 
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