[ENFP] Does she like me? Do you guys ever take a week alone time from someone you love?

wiredandwound said:
2 weeks is too long. INFJ or not, you are responsible for your own happiness. If it is meant to be than you need to talk to her now, otherwise, it's time to move on.

I'm sorry you are going through this, but everyone has to at some point in there lives.

Married for over ten years. Breakups hurt, but persisting in something instead of moving on is worse.

Love is reciprocal, which implies that communication cannot be just on her time. Take time, but not more than a couple of days. I am an INFJ, and it has never taken me more than a couple of days to recuperate. The discussion you will have with her will be enlightening, but mabey not to your satisfaction. You will live.

Peace.
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What do I even ask? I'm not sure.
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
I've given her about 5 days, so if she still needs alone time after this, then whatever. That's on her, not me. I sent her a message, it's in her court now.
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Why 5 days?

I going to tell you right now, that when you are married, there will be even harder things to talk about, that will have to be addressed much sooner.

This "We have to talk" speech will not be your last. There are many more to come, and if you think this is hard, then you may find marriage impossible.

No matter what the outcome of this one is, you will still gain precious experience when the time comes when there's a lot bigger stake involved. Like Mortgage, and children.

Bro... don't be a pussy and man up!

I know you are scared, but so what. If you think this is scary, just wait for what life has got for you in the future.

Women need to know that their man is in control of himself. Being a pussy is not control. You haven't even called her yet, and you are well on your way to losing her respect if she still has it.

Sorry for the harsh words, but somebody's gotta say it.

Put your big boy pants on and call her right now, or move on!
 
wiredandwound said:
Why 5 days?

I going to tell you right now, that when you are married, there will be even harder things to talk about, that will have to be addressed much sooner.

This "We have to talk" speech will not be your last. There are many more to come, and if you think this is hard, then you may find marriage impossible.

No matter what the outcome of this one is, you will still gain precious experience when the time comes when there's a lot bigger stake involved. Like Mortgage, and children.

Bro... don't be a pussy and man up!

I know you are scared, but so what. If you think this is scary, just wait for what life has got for you in the future.

Women need to know that their man is in control of himself. Being a pussy is not control. You haven't even called her yet, and you are well on your way to losing her respect if she still has it.

Sorry for the harsh words, but somebody's gotta say it.

Put your big boy pants on and call her right now, or move on!
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She lives in a different country. It's like 5AM there. Not calling her right now.
 
Maybe don't be confrontative about "where this is going" before you've even found out if you can stomach each other in real life. She's made it pretty clear where she stands even without being direct. I don't think that turning the screws is going to help. Remember the characterization of "controlling" you mentioned.
 
Sloe Djinn said:
Maybe don't be confrontative about "where this is going" before you've even found out if you can stomach each other in real life. She's made it pretty clear where she stands even without being direct. I don't think that turning the screws is going to help. Remember the characterization of "controlling" you mentioned.
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That's also why I'm very hesitant to follow his advice. It sounds like a very bad idea. I'm just to nice to say that. I agree with you 100%, and you seem to be 2/2 when it comes to advice so far. <3
 
wiredandwound said:
I was just thinking before I read your response, that if she's got any sense in her, she'll have moved on by the time she wakes up the next day.

Good luck, bro.
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Damn, you're a bit harsh, aren't you? You're not getting to me, you just seem like you 100% for a fact know the situation, when in reality, I know the situation the best, and even then, I barely know it. You're also the very small minority. But hey, that's your perogative.
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
Damn, you're a bit harsh, aren't you? You're not getting to me, you just seem like you 100% for a fact know the situation, when in reality, I know the situation the best, and even then, I barely know it. You're also the very small minority. But hey, that's your perogative.
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I'm not trying to get to you. I'm just laying down the facts. What you've written in this post so far is childish.

Does she even know how you feel about her?

Has she even given you any inkling that she feels the same way?

If she read what you wrote here she'll never answer your calls ever again. Fact!

How do I know? INFJ. That's how I know.

Here's another thing... If she ain't annoying you with stupid calls in the middle of the night because she misses you, YOU AINT GOT HER.
 
wiredandwound said:
I'm not trying to get to you. I'm just laying down the facts. What you've written in this post so far is childish.

Does she even know how you feel about her?

Has she even given you any inkling that she feels the same way?

If she read what you wrote here she'll never answer your calls ever again. Fact!

How do I know? INFJ. That's how I know.

Here's another thing... If she ain't annoying you with stupid calls in the middle of the night because she misses you, YOU AINT GOT HER.
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You're sounding more like an ESTJ than an INFJ.
 
sassafras said:
You just gotta let yourself feel what you feel. When you're aware you're bandaging up the hurt with something else, the bandaid is never going to feel good. Hurt needs to be processed, not waved away or shoved down or supplanted. Go ahead and be a whiny little bitch. This is a whiny little bitch safe zone. We've all taken turns passing around the baton. No one is going to judge you for it. Bleed your feelings. We gotchu.

As for flirting, it's one of those things that's ambiguous. Some people take it more seriously than others; others think its rather harmless. Around these parts, though... I think most of us on the forum understand we're being cheeky with one another because it's not something that few of us here can actually follow up on.... and we enjoy having a bit of fun with our friends and making them feel good at the same time. :)
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Yes! This whole thing especially the tiny text lolol
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
I get it. Thanks guys. I've never been in this deep before. I have been close with another INFJ, but not this deep. I also never had a real opportunity to meet the other one, so that sort of dampened stuff.

Also, I have 180 posts here in like 2 days...wow. Help.
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We will only help by encouraging you to post more lol
 
wiredandwound said:
Why 5 days?

I going to tell you right now, that when you are married, there will be even harder things to talk about, that will have to be addressed much sooner.

This "We have to talk" speech will not be your last. There are many more to come, and if you think this is hard, then you may find marriage impossible.

No matter what the outcome of this one is, you will still gain precious experience when the time comes when there's a lot bigger stake involved. Like Mortgage, and children.

Bro... don't be a pussy and man up!

I know you are scared, but so what. If you think this is scary, just wait for what life has got for you in the future.

Women need to know that their man is in control of himself. Being a pussy is not control. You haven't even called her yet, and you are well on your way to losing her respect if she still has it.

Sorry for the harsh words, but somebody's gotta say it.

Put your big boy pants on and call her right now, or move on!
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Are you sure you're not INTJ... even @Deleted member 16771 was more understand and sensitive... and he IS INTJ...

Stop telling men to not be a pussy. That is just. UGH! Men have the right to feel like this and its people like you that make them uneasy about doing it. EW.
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
Hell, even @Pin, the ENTJ, was more understanding and gave some creedence to the fact that no one is sure of where this might go. He gave his opinion, but didn't state it as fact.
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I edited it and added more of my thoughts, cause I just couldn't stop there...
 
wiredandwound said:
I'm not trying to get to you. I'm just laying down the facts. What you've written in this post so far is childish.

Does she even know how you feel about her?

Has she even given you any inkling that she feels the same way?

If she read what you wrote here she'll never answer your calls ever again. Fact!

How do I know? INFJ. That's how I know.

Here's another thing... If she ain't annoying you with stupid calls in the middle of the night because she misses you, YOU AINT GOT HER.
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You annoy the SHIT outta me. You're presumptive arrogant and rude. I presume you won't care. If you have something positive to contibute to this forum, and I see it, I'll see you there. If not, I'll continue not liking you.
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
Honestly, I sent her a super short message. Like a sentence or two. Just a greeting and something else.

At this point, I don't have the energy optimism to believe this will go any direction but south, so why even care.
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Hang in there man.

It's only a matter of time before you meet someone new for better or worse. Personally, it's hard not to treat the pursuit of relationships like a race sometimes. However, I'm more focused on my professional life. Also, all of my friends in relationships right now are struggling financially, professionally, or academically.

Observing my friends has taught me to focus on more reliable outcomes. When you eat protein and do calisthenics, your muscles contract and become more defined. When you study hard, you get scholarships and the chance to pursue the highest levels of education.

Do you have any impediments for meeting women in reality?
 
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