[ENFP] Does she like me? Do you guys ever take a week alone time from someone you love?

HorsesIncorporated said:
In regards to the connection her and I have, she told me I'm one of only 8 people she's really connected with this deeply in her life. One of them was her only ex boyfriend, one of them was the INTP she no longer talks to, one was Galya (the other girl in this situation), one was Eugenia (her best friend who she also happened to kiss), me, and I don't know the other 3.

In terms of how connected I am with her, I've only felt this connected and in sync with one other person in my life, who was also an INFJ. I don't even feel this much of a connection with my best friend in the whole world; she's an ESFJ and I'd die for her.
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Yeah, 8 is a lot. I wouldn't feel too privileged to be 1 of 8 tbh.
 
wiredandwound said:
"wish in one hand, and shit in the other, and see which fill up first" approach, you are going to be very unhappy, and drive a lot of guys to insanity. I know men can drive you guys crazy to, but we're talking about women in this post.
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Actually this thread is making me think: do men actually mean putting an end to something when they say "i need space."?

(I'm looking back and thinking this is probably the most true of all. Hahahha and I was too foolish to realize.)

Gaaaahd! Why don't people just say what they meaaan?



wiredandwound said:
It never occurred to me that you were ever riled up. Truly.
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Well, you know, online. It's difficult to predict. Hehe.
 
MINFJToothFairy said:
Actually this thread is making me think: do men actually mean putting an end to something when they say "i need space."?

(I'm looking back and thinking this is probably the most true of all. Hahahha and I was too foolish to realize.)

Gaaaahd! Why don't people just say what they meaaan?





Well, you know, online. It's difficult to predict. Hehe.
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Just give me your number and I'll call you tomorrow. I promise.
 
MINFJToothFairy said:
do men actually mean putting an end to something when they say "i need space."?
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What we are saying is leave me alone. Maybe we can hook up again sometime, but right now I want to do something else.

[The] something else might be another girl, hobbie, work, hanging out with friends. But it means decisively, My personal interests lie elsewhere.
 
MINFJToothFairy said:
Our turn to cringe!
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Agreed, this is a cringe that men have accepted for time immemorial.

However. The reason for this behavior is for the purposes of personal growth. This is why it is important that young people use this time to learn more about themselves, and relationships.

I'm not saying it will be fun for you girls to go through, but it is a reality that you must endure.

When younger people are in relationships, they often neglect the fact that they have not prepared themselves for the future or career prospects, and it is for this reason especially, that men often lose interest in a girl when they are younger, because they know that the time is near when personal growth and maturity is far more important than their immediate desires.

The early relationships give boys the desire to grow up and become a man to the point where they can actually support a family in the future. But when they are young, the love is free from the responsibility associated with others being dependant on you as a provider.
 
wiredandwound said:
Agreed, this is a cringe that men have accepted for time immemorial.

However. The reason for this behavior is for the purposes of personal growth. This is why it is important that young people use this time to learn more about themselves, and relationships.

I'm not saying it will be fun for you girls to go through, but it is a reality that you must endure.

When younger people are in relationships, they often neglect the fact that they have not prepared themselves for the future or career prospects, and it is for this reason especially, that men often lose interest in a girl when they are younger, because they know that the time is near when personal growth and maturity is far more important than their immediate desires.

The early relationships give boys the desire to grow up and become a man to the point where they can actually support a family in the future. But when they are young, the love is free from the responsibility associated with others being dependant on you as a provider.
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Luckily, in terms of finances in Russia, I make more than enough money to provide for a family, thank God.
 
I'm getting mad deja vu from this thread, hmm...

MINFJToothFairy said:
Actually this thread is making me think: do men actually mean putting an end to something when they say "i need space."?

(I'm looking back and thinking this is probably the most true of all. Hahahha and I was too foolish to realize.)

Gaaaahd! Why don't people just say what they meaaan?
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I don't think I've ever said that 'I need space'. I don't tend to leave people hanging like that - I'll just flat out tell them what the deal is.

If I actually need space, I just go off the fucking radar tbh. I've only done this a few times, but I just don't answer my phone or contact anyone, exist in my little bubble for a while, then apologise to everyone I ignored. But on those occasions it's not an individual thing - if I 'need space', it's from the world. I've gone to Mars to build crystal sculptures.
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Deleted member 16771 said:
I'm getting mad deja vu from this thread, hmm...


I don't think I've ever said that 'I need space'. I don't tend to leave people hanging like that - I'll just flat out tell them what the deal is.

If I actually need space, I just go off the fucking radar tbh. I've only done this a few times, but I just don't answer my phone or contact anyone, exist in my little bubble for a while, then apologise to everyone I ignored. But on those occasions it's not an individual thing - if I 'need space', it's from the world. I've gone to Mars to build crystal sculptures.
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You essentially just described exactly what she does.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
Never done that to anyone I cared about romantically, though. That's my point.
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Yeah. This is true. I always make it a point to say, I need a little space. Please wait. It's heartbreaking to watch their face go sullen like, why do you have to go there without me? Well because duh I like you too much. Men.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
I don't think I've ever said that 'I need space'. I don't tend to leave people hanging like that - I'll just flat out tell them what the deal is.
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I remember my 'I need space' moment quite vividly. And it was for the very reasons mentioned. I was madly in love with a girl one day, then something clicked, and I realized that I need to get my shit together, and that's when I told her.

It was a very primal experience. Hormones or something were kicking in. I wasn't bullshitting her. I was very clear to her about why I needed my space. Not all guys are.
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
I need to just start a damn poll with the following options:

A. Run far far away.
B. Trust her.
C. Tinder.
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LOL.

Hey man, you seem like a pretty good guy to me, and I hope that it works out for you. I'm just trying to offer perspective from one end of the spectrum - 'playing my role', if you will - I don't necessarily have an answer and if I was the only person you would ask, I'd have to be much more balanced (probably along the lines of sass or Sloe).

The problem in doing that is that I wouldn't be able to convey to you this end of the spectrum with the proper force and severity it deserves. I don't want to soften the blow with any caveats or 'nuance' because that would be an improper representation of the seriousness of this end. 'Fuck nuance'. This girl could be a cold-hearted bitch who's keeping you hot as one of her 'options' and if she is, then fuck that chick. You need to understand that possibility and steel yourself for it.

On the other hand, she could end up being the love of your life, but I can't exactly say that in the same post because you (meaning 'us', humans) are such an idealistic, rose-tinted contacts-having mother fucker that this is all you would hear.
 
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