[ENFP] Does she like me? Do you guys ever take a week alone time from someone you love?

Deleted member 16771 said:
LOL.

Hey man, you seem like a pretty good guy to me, and I hope that it works out for you. I'm just trying to offer perspective from one end of the spectrum - 'playing my role', if you will - I don't necessarily have an answer and if I was the only person you would ask, I'd have to be much more balanced (probably along the lines of sass or Sloe).

The problem in doing that is that I wouldn't be able to convey to you this end of the spectrum with the proper force and severity it deserves. I don't want to soften the blow with any caveats or 'nuance' because that would be an improper representation of the seriousness of this end. 'Fuck nuance'. This girl could be a cold-hearted bitch who's keeping you hot as one of her 'options' and if she is, then fuck that chick. You need to understand that possibility and steel yourself for it.

On the other hand, she could end up being the love of your life, but I can't exactly say that in the same post because you (meaning 'us', humans) are such an idealistic, rose-tinted contacts-having mother fucker that this is all you would hear.
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If I were that optimistic, there would be no thread here.

I know the options: her and I end up in love and love each other and are together.

The more likely option is I get my heart broken in a way I've never experienced before.

If I'm totally honest, I've never actually been in a relationship. It's embarrassing, but the truth.

I
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
LOL.

Hey man, you seem like a pretty good guy to me, and I hope that it works out for you. I'm just trying to offer perspective from one end of the spectrum - 'playing my role', if you will - I don't necessarily have an answer and if I was the only person you would ask, I'd have to be much more balanced (probably along the lines of sass or Sloe).

The problem in doing that is that I wouldn't be able to convey to you this end of the spectrum with the proper force and severity it deserves. I don't want to soften the blow with any caveats or 'nuance' because that would be an improper representation of the seriousness of this end. 'Fuck nuance'. This girl could be a cold-hearted bitch who's keeping you hot as one of her 'options' and if she is, then fuck that chick. You need to understand that possibility and steel yourself for it.

On the other hand, she could end up being the love of your life, but I can't exactly say that in the same post because you (meaning 'us', humans) are such an idealistic, rose-tinted contacts-having mother fucker that this is all you would hear.
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So what you're saying is.... Idk, this could go either way... wait and see? :D

I just don't see the wisdom in playing tug of war with this dude's hopes and making him down and depressed if you're sitting somewhere in the middle too. You definitely can present both sides in one post. You just did.
 
sassafras said:
So what you're saying is.... Idk, this could go either way... wait and see? :D

I just don't see the wisdom in playing tug of war with this dude's hopes and making him down and depressed if you're sitting somewhere in the middle too. You definitely can present both sides in one post. You just did.
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lmao

No u WRONG!
 
sassafras said:
I just don't see the wisdom in playing tug of war with this dude's hopes and making him down and depressed if you're sitting somewhere in the middle too. You definitely can present both sides in one post. You just did.
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The thing is, I'm not sure I was capable of delivering a sincere 'optimistic' viewpoint even if my rational mind could conceive of it, because my personal 'benefit of the doubt bar' was in need of recharging itself and the signs I saw were red flags and warnings.

My assessment is that this girl's behaviour is poor, and that the optimistic viewpoint requires the ignorance of that. I wasn't capable of giving this guy a balanced viewpoint with a straight face even though I know that would've been rationally valid, since my gut/emotional reaction was super cynical. So, you know, better to let other, happier souls, give the good news.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
The thing is, I'm not sure I was capable of delivering a sincere 'optimistic' viewpoint even if my rational mind could conceive of it, because my personal 'benefit of the doubt bar' was in need of recharging itself and the signs I saw were red flags and warnings.

My assessment is that this girl's behaviour is poor, and that the optimistic viewpoint requires the ignorance of that. I wasn't capable of giving this guy a balanced viewpoint with a straight face even though I know that would've been rationally valid, since my gut/emotional reaction was super cynical. so, you know, better to let other, happier souls, to give the good news.
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LOL. Explain yourself.
 
MINFJToothFairy said:
LOL. Explain yourself.
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I keep uncovering people's lies and solipsism (specifically women) and its affected my perception of all such situations :expressionless: Temporarily, I hope.

So... when my gut says 'bitch' nowadays, I'm in a phase of listening to it, whereas before I would've privileged the 'rational' explanation or excuse.
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
I want to believe.

*X-Files music*

It just seems the consensus is run for the hills so it's hard for me to trust my own intuition...
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Hug. Trust your intuition. Brace yourself for the worst. Hope for the best. It's gonna blow over at some point. Meanwhile, sit back, relax, enjoy your hobbies (that don't elicit infidelity).
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
I want to believe.

*X-Files music*

It just seems the consensus is run for the hills so it's hard for me to trust my own intuition...
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It's really nobody's responsibility but yours, my friend. Do whatever you want to do. Nobody else is vested in this but you.

I'm sure that you'll make the right choice, but I hope that you don't waste too much precious time on something that may, or may not be beneficial to you.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
I keep uncovering people's lies and solipsism (specifically women) and its affected my perception of all such situations :expressionless: Temporarily, I hope.

So... when my gut says 'bitch' nowadays, I'm in a phase of listening to it, whereas before I would've privileged the 'rational' explanation or excuse.
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Maybe that's wisdom. I suppose it all boils down to the economics of choice: what we decide to spend on. People are selfish and we are people.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
My assessment is that this girl's behaviour is poor, and that the optimistic viewpoint requires the ignorance of that. I wasn't capable of giving this guy a balanced viewpoint with a straight face even though I know that would've been rationally valid, since my gut/emotional reaction was super cynical. So, you know, better to let other, happier souls, give the good news.
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I've deemed this relationship too much trouble, and I've only been in it since yesterday.
HorsesIncorporated said:
It just seems the consensus is run for the hills so it's hard for me to trust my own intuition...
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Swipe Right, and get your ding-dong wet. It might give you a new perspective tomorrow.
 
wiredandwound said:
I've deemed this relationship too much trouble, and I've only been in it since yesterday.

Swipe Right, and get your ding-dong wet. It might give you a new perspective tomorrow.
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Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. Unfortunately, I'm not in the top 25% of guys when it comes to look, so I essentially have very little luck when it comes to Tinder.

Funny thing is that in Russia, when I swiped there, I get way more attractive girls matching with me and they actually respond. It kind of shocked me.
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. Unfortunately, I'm not in the top 25% of guys when it comes to look, so I essentially have very little luck when it comes to Tinder.

Funny thing is that in Russia, when I swiped there, I get way more attractive girls matching with me and they actually respond. It kind of shocked me.
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Not shocking at all. They looking for citizenship somewhere else. No conspiracy about it. We have a friend who exploited this. It didn't work out too well for him though.
 
wiredandwound said:
Not shocking at all. They looking for citizenship somewhere else. No conspiracy about it. We have a friend who exploited this. It didn't work out too well for him though.
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Actually, 80% of those girls are Ukrainian, not Russian. Ukraine is a much poorer country, and the poorest in Europe. Moldova is second poorest.

If I ever date there, I'm making it clear I plan on staying there.
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
Actually, 80% of those girls are Ukrainian, not Russian. Ukraine is a much poorer country, and the poorest in Europe. Moldova is second poorest.

If I ever date there, I'm making it clear I plan on staying there.
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Oh man. There it is. Pin. Be powerful and rich as a "man" and you get plenty and prettier vajayjays. Deng.
 
HorsesIncorporated said:
I want to believe.

*X-Files music*

It just seems the consensus is run for the hills so it's hard for me to trust my own intuition...
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I think you're too infatuated with her to think about the situation rationally. In my opinion you should just try to stop thinking about her and let her make the next move, then figure out what to do from there.

It's okay to be hopeful but don't be desperate. I'm not saying this judgmentally, I just think you should hold your cards closer to your chest, so to speak and try to put some mental distance between yourself and this situation.
 
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