ENFP trying to find INFJ’s... WHERE ARE YOU?!

[Gadsden Mountain Ranch]

He seems INFJ to me, but then I don't think that INFJs are particularly rare out there in the world. C. 2% still adds up to a lot of folks.


You mean like, double jointed?


I dunno, man, maybe I'm not in the mood right now... I found a lot of this shit pretty annoying.


So did I, lol.

Jamie, I'm going to be honest here - I don't think you're ENFP. I think INFJ is probably the best fit for you. All that's happened is that you've come up against some INFJ gatekeeping - not by individuals, you understand (who are just throwing ideas at you as far as I've observed) but the general vibe of exclusivity that the INFJ gestalt generates - and you've gone all submissive to the social feeling and self-doubting, which is pretty INFJ in itself.

I had an acquaintance who is a clinical psychiatrist. She swears up and down I'm a hybrid of maybe 90% INFJ with 10% INTJ

 

[InfJer0724]

Go to a counseling service office, or therapy lol

 

[ManOfRome]

Hey man!

I'm from Oldham


Two INFJ guys from the NW; I'm 'buzzin' Whereabouts are you from Jamie?

Haha cool. Maybe in 10 years time everyone frim the area would have built up enough loneliness to meet for a drink.

makes two of us in regards to the empathy bit. I'm sorry to hear about your ADHD man. I suffer from bouts of depression and anxiety, all which I have to constantly stay on-top of.

I have a 'savior complex' in me. But I've learnt as I have gotten older that I can't save anyone. I can be here for them to support them as much as I can and they need, but I have to look after myself too. It really is true; you can't pour from an empty cup, as simple and cliched as that sounds.

I wish you well and happiness.

Thanks! And i can't explain how adhd affects the saviour complex. It's not an easy thing to understand. And unfortunately, this kind of thing requires understanding as im sure you know. Dont you find it annoying when someone tells you something that they consider advice, when its something you need to understand yourself? Hearing and learning are very different imo so hearing from people you can't save everyone etc etc is just words until something clicks in your head. And in time it's quite easy to understand that, but that requires baaaaare time.

 

[Jonah Caan]

Haha cool. Maybe in 10 years time everyone frim the area would have built up enough loneliness to meet for a drink.



Thanks! And i can't explain how adhd affects the saviour complex. It's not an easy thing to understand. And unfortunately, this kind of thing requires understanding as im sure you know. Dont you find it annoying when someone tells you something that they consider advice, when its something you need to understand yourself? Hearing and learning are very different imo so hearing from people you can't save everyone etc etc is just words until something clicks in your head. And in time it's quite easy to understand that, but that requires baaaaare time.

I can't understand how it all must be with ADHD at all man I do feel that frustration at times though. It's tough and a constant battle.

The way I see it, advice can be like data that your subconscious goes away and tries to process. And it is this along with so many experiences in life, both small and big, that lead to that 'aha' moment. But sometimes we don't need advice, we just need someone to listen and to understand and then let our own minds come up with the solution; I know what you mean.

I always think life is too short to just learn from my own mistakes, so I always try to learn from others' mistakes as well as telling others about the times where I fucked up myself and how I overcame/rectified the issue (if I think it might help them). Doing this is also a bit selfish because I find it cathartic, but ultimately it gives me peace in knowing that if my mistakes or issues can help someone even in the slightest way, then that suffering was not in vain.

I wish you peace and clarity

 

[Joshua E Rigal]

Hmmm, I’m into animal behavior, conservation, psychology, and human cognition. I can usually be found at events that are advocating for a cause I care about (us enfps are known as the advocates) , and are big into public outreach. Seminars, information booths at school, public educator at a zoo/aquarium/ human health agency/conservation talk would all be good options. We are out A LOT, usually the ones dancing on top of something at a party or bar, just for fun.

As far as what it would be like... it really is an excellent match. My INFJ friends bring me a lot of grounding and help anchor me sometimes when my Ne carries me away to 5,698 possibilities at once. Conversely, I bring them out of their heads and get them out, as well as bring up a bunch of new points they haven’t thought of in their deep yet narrow analysis.

You have a high chance of finding an infj quietly volunteering at the local animal shelter. Try going to a quiet place. All of the places you mentioned are too loud and busy. I like to buy groceries on Wednesday mornings. Maybe a bookstore or library, Amazon is killing those. Become a delivery girl for Amazon prime. You're likely to run into several. Church might be a place. I stopped going when I moved away from home but you might find one that is more dedicated than I was. If you're in college, try your hardest to pay attention to the quiet one that stares at people.

 

[Joshua E Rigal]

It is hard to spot an INFJ since we are the masters of disguises. Then there are so many different kinds of INFJs and they all have their own sweet spots.

One thing common though is the fun part. We might not be out there every weekend but you bet that we know how to have fun in a intimate way. One to one interactions are most fulfilling ones so places that has a special sense of calmness and stillness are favorable. Look at the corners, INFJs are observers and we tend to be at spots where we can have our oen space and a panoramic view.

Parties that have their own niche are favored over some mainstream clubs and restaurants. A comfy pub surrounded by appealing architecture attracts INFJs. The wild ones are found in rave and techno parties but the quite ones prefer acoustic and minimal music parties. If you find one on the dance floor it will be the one who seems to emerge himself with the music. He moves gently as if touching the music he is listening to.

You will learn to spot an INFJ by observing people. If you get the feeling that someone is watching you from somewhere then there is an INFJ close by. That guy who pretends he is not paying any attention to you but as soon as you turn your face away gives you a glimpse, that is an INFJ. Use mirrors and windos to spot it. If you manage to catch that glimpse he will not turn away but will keep an intense eye-contact until you will turn your look away. That is an invitation so reply it by a welcoming smile. He will find his own way to you but it won’t be directly.

I didnt know there were wild ones!

 

[Joshua E Rigal]

Very true . I’ve included a pic of the experience. My skills are clearly better than hers.. :

Wait. Are you being sarcastic? Are you the one with a neat setup or the frazzled sugar on a stick?

I cant imagine an INFJ doing such a bad job with that. And on top of that, leaving it that way.

 

[Joshua E Rigal]

HollyBee, if this thread is more serious than playful..

You can find an INFJ anywhere. I was born in Los Angeles/Ventura area, moved to the mountains when I was 17. Now I split my time between Fresno and a town of 100 people.

I work at a mechanics shop/gas station and as I write this, I'm at my ranch looking at my beautiful view of the Merced River Canyon, drinking Busch beer and kicking back with my cowboy boots off and my feet up on my deck rail

When I'm not in the backwoods, you can find me at the local junkyard, O Reilly Auto Parts or Napa. If you can't directly find me, follow sound. I say "fuck" when I'm working on cars like it's a comma.

If I'm not there, I'm turning a wrench and playing loud country music.

And yes, as far as I know, I'm an INFJ

My brother is too.

He is a veterinarian resident and bee keeper working at his PHD. His hobby is heavy lifting. He's my younger half, completely opposite in abilities. He's book smart, I'm mechanically inclined.
However, we have damn near the same personality and we both have IQs well above average. I'm a stupid 120 and he's about 140+ easily.

So... Anywhere dear.

The best way to my heart? Communication. Making the first move. Being genuine. Being open. Modest sexually.

Otherwise I'm a pretty simple INFJ. Busch beer in, cuss words out. Old parts go spinny spinny off and new part goes spinny spinny back on with my ratchet.

Sometimes, it's not about where to find them. It's honing in on how they act. I act genuine. I care about people. I go out of my way to solve issues and go the extra mile to help anyone, regardless of circumstances. Even if I hate your guts, I still have the ability to give a hand (mostly).

I'm quirky. Shy but talkative, if that makes sense.

I have a few different passions. Off road racing, dirt bikes, farming, mechanics, technology, law.

If you find common ground with an INFJ, you have it made. If you don't, you will probably be nothing more than my acquaintance.

Dude! Right on!