ENFP trying to find INFJ’s... WHERE ARE YOU?!

HollyBeeTheENFP said:
I am an ENFP and am frustrated by not being able to find a lot of people that I truly connect with. In dating, basically every IJ type I’ve ever met has been attracted to me. And while I enjoy the company of istjs and isfjs, I just don’t feel the connection that I do when I’m with an intuitive type. I’ve never even met a male INFJ, but I have a few female INFJ friends and know several male and female intj’s. I love their introverted intuition and find it very balancing and even grounding, which I do admit is good for me (mature ENFP??)

So my question is... WHERE ARE YOU?!?! How do I find you? I want to know more of you and get connected , but y’all are so rare. But I know you’re out there
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I've wondered the same thing about where I might find ENFPs.

I don't think I've ever (knowingly) been friends with an ENFP. Since hearing about the compatibility though, I've wondered where I might run into someone with this type.

I've gone to a philosophy and psychology meetup groups because I'd heard it's a good place to meet other NFs, but, nearly everyone there was an NT. I get along great with NTs, so it was all good. Anyway, I do wonder what it would be like to be friends with an ENFP.
 
It is hard to spot an INFJ since we are the masters of disguises. Then there are so many different kinds of INFJs and they all have their own sweet spots.

One thing common though is the fun part. We might not be out there every weekend but you bet that we know how to have fun in a intimate way. One to one interactions are most fulfilling ones so places that has a special sense of calmness and stillness are favorable. Look at the corners, INFJs are observers and we tend to be at spots where we can have our oen space and a panoramic view.

Parties that have their own niche are favored over some mainstream clubs and restaurants. A comfy pub surrounded by appealing architecture attracts INFJs. The wild ones are found in rave and techno parties but the quite ones prefer acoustic and minimal music parties. If you find one on the dance floor it will be the one who seems to emerge himself with the music. He moves gently as if touching the music he is listening to.

You will learn to spot an INFJ by observing people. If you get the feeling that someone is watching you from somewhere then there is an INFJ close by. That guy who pretends he is not paying any attention to you but as soon as you turn your face away gives you a glimpse, that is an INFJ. Use mirrors and windos to spot it. If you manage to catch that glimpse he will not turn away but will keep an intense eye-contact until you will turn your look away. That is an invitation so reply it by a welcoming smile. He will find his own way to you but it won’t be directly. ;)
 
Hmmmm......
Where do we hang out?

The "at home" joke is really true.
INFJs reallllllly like what they like. Their interests are typically long-term and dedicated, and don't flip-flop. They will leave the house for those interests. So, you could find INFJs by going to events that you are interested in and then you'd have something to break the ice. The benefit of being at an event has to outweigh the draining effect of being around too many people for too long. (While I'm out I will seem personable and extroverted, too!)
What interests each INFJ in particular varies. I've met most of my friends through music.
It's easy to go do something I enjoy and see a bunch of people whose company I enjoy while I'm there.

Connecting with me enough to get me to stick my neck out and actively try to form a real friendship is the hard part. You have to be willing to open up, get real, and go a bit deep or personal (without seeming like a needy wreck), or tell me fascinating information that isn't common knowledge... something... to connect with me.
 
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ManOfRome said:
I'm not sure what to do with that information. I'd be up more a meet, but I'm one of those people that smokes grass. And i do this when i feel like I need to. Many people don't like that l, so a meet might be awkward af. I'm free every evening. Even now. Just saying.
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You don’t have to do anything with that information, it was just a welcome from a fellow northerner bro. I don’t smoke weed or do any drugs anymore but I don’t judge people who do. You won’t find much judgement in this forum. I don’t really meet up with people on forums (apart from my girlfriend), especially after immediately speaking to someone for the first time haha

I’m not saying I’d never meet up with people in my area but I’d have to know them pretty well first, if you get my drift :grinning:
 
BritNi said:
We're all at home. :/
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Ahaha, this!

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JamieUK92 said:
You don’t have to do anything with that information, it was just a welcome from a fellow northerner bro. I don’t smoke weed or do any drugs anymore but I don’t judge people who do. You won’t find much judgement in this forum. I don’t really meet up with people on forums (apart from my girlfriend), especially after immediately speaking to someone for the first time haha

I’m not saying I’d never meet up with people in my area but I’d have to know them pretty well first, if you get my drift :grinning:
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That's funny. I think you picked that last reply a bit wrong. I mean no harm. I dont know what to do with that because I've never interacted with ANY infjs in my life. There was one but he's not quite as far into the personal knowledge as i hoped he was. So an amateur at knowing self. It's difficult to talk to people like that because there's massive insecurities in the way.

But yeah. Nice to know I might meet one some day. I would stop smoking completely if it wasn't for my incredibly off the chain adhd. Derailing threads seems to be coming for me as well i noticed haha
 
ManOfRome said:
That's funny. I think you picked that last reply a bit wrong. I mean no harm. I dont know what to do with that because I've never interacted with ANY infjs in my life. There was one but he's not quite as far into the personal knowledge as i hoped he was. So an amateur at knowing self. It's difficult to talk to people like that because there's massive insecurities in the way.

But yeah. Nice to know I might meet one some day. I would stop smoking completely if it wasn't for my incredibly off the chain adhd. Derailing threads seems to be coming for me as well i noticed haha
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T’is all good man!

Don’t worry I’m the biggest thread derailer on the entire forum! Anyway welcome to the forum and I hope you find your time here rewarding :grinning:
 
JamieUK92 said:
T’is all good man!

Don’t worry I’m the biggest thread derailer on the entire forum! Anyway welcome to the forum and I hope you find your time here rewarding :grinning:
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It's paradoxial. I try to meet people in real life and i get leech after leech. everybody wants something but fails to deliver every damn time.
Online it's the same. I'm a member of the discord group, but even there the dfully self aware INFJ's don't talk or draw attention to themselves. So it's difficult to find these....

And thanks! :D
 
ManOfRome said:
I try to meet people in real life and i get leech after leech. everybody wants something but fails to deliver every damn time.
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What are they sucking out of you, and what are you hoping they supply to you?
 
empathy leads to a lot of work. and i always strife for perfection. no matter what it is applied to. when i meet someone, they always try to hide. be more social than they really are. then when i get to know them properly it always becomes apparant that they have problems that i believe i can help with, it becomes my number 1 mission. and usually these problems take time to resolve. and by then i become too attached to it. kind of like the gambling dilemma. i know it's happening. im fully aware of it. and i can make the right choice to take as little harm from it as possible. but. then my brain gets fried all of a sudden and i do and say things that i seriously regret a while later. then at 30 years old i figure out that i have adhd and it's that, that's been brewing and evolving. my head is a "different" place than most. and i want to explain that to people, but for that to happen, i need them to fully understand thaat which i am trying to explain. and thats where the little bit of time comes from. i mean 100% devoted attention.

that precise enough for you? :)
 
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