Ex not blocking my number

ruji said:
Doesn't matter. I've already mentioned that.


People love to identify with whatever trait that's too hard for them to change. You're not special. Nothing about you belongs to you.


You're going to learn the hard way. I shouldn't care, but it is unfair that people these days have to put in so much effort and pain to unlearn this shit.


I had to drop a long friendship too.
You think she isn't aware of this same fact? Yet she cut you out anyway. Whatever road you're headed, she's not interested anymore. 27 years was enough.



It might, but it'll revert back into ruin.


What's so wrong with you that you can't find someone else? You put up this front of all this romantic shit because you can't face the realization that in this moment, it is harder for you to find someone else. How hard do you think it is for her to find another guy? You have no idea
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I’ve never had a problem getting or finding another woman. That’s not the point or my fear at all. As a matter of fact. I already met another woman, got her number and have been talking to her for a few days.

The deal is, each conversation just makes me realize that I am in fact still in love with my ex. Now I’m going to have to tell that woman I’m not ready for anything right now.

Here’s one thing that I hold on to. It will sound arrogant and probably is.

I did make a mistake and allowed my addiction a foot back in my life. But, I worked my ass off and beat that shit!

I know I’m a good man, worthy of being loved. I’m not bad looking, in decent shape especially for someone my age. I’m talented, intelligent, and witty.

As far as my ex. To me now and ever since we became adults. She is the best woman on earth. No one ever has or ever will compare to her regardless of the outcome of this situation.

In my mind, I was good enough and amazing enough to get her and for her to fall in love with me. I know we both loved each other like we never loved anyone else in our lives.

Looking at this. Now I am a better, healthier, stronger version of the man she fell for. If I was good enough once, there’s no reason to believe that in time it can happen again.
 
Milktoast Bandit said:
Yeah, it sucks bad dude. I too lost a friend of mine since childhood and a nearly 20 yr relationship and left my family because of their betrayal. But it only sucked for a while. Then I realized it was the best thing to ever happen to me. Woop! Humans grow in darkness! Yay!
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I door slammed 2 people. One a friend of 30 plus years because of the way he treated me and his betrayal of my ex. Another friend of 18 years for stabbing me in the back. Me and him were riding buddies. Built harleys together, been in bar fights together everything.
Neither of those hurt to loose.
 
Skrimpshidy said:
I door slammed 2 people. One a friend of 30 plus years because of the way he treated me and his betrayal of my ex. Another friend of 18 years for stabbing me in the back. Me and him were riding buddies. Built harleys together, been in bar fights together everything.
Neither of those hurt to loose.
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Right. But I'm not wrong.
 
ruji said:
I know I sound like a jerk, but this really isn't about me. He's not going to get better with support for his current behavior.
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I know where you're coming from, but injecting feelings of guilt and inadequacy into this cocktail I didn't think was appropriate in this case.

'what's wrong with you'? as if his entire worth is predicated on the ability to 'get women'. I gave that a bit of side-eye @ruji, I'm sorry to say.

Skrimp just needs to get over this chick and move on. He doesn't need feelings of inadequacy thrown in there, too - that's overkill in generating the kind of action that we all know he's got to take, and will plant a seed of doubt in his future that he doesn't need and would not be healthy or productive.
 
Skrimpshidy said:
I’ve never had a problem getting or finding another woman.
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I am not trying to claim this. This is for you to consider on your own time. I could care less for my own ego. I really want you to succeed.

Skrimpshidy said:
As a matter of fact. I already met another woman, got her number and have been talking to her for a few days.

The deal is, each conversation just makes me realize that I am in fact still in love with my ex. Now I’m going to have to tell that woman I’m not ready for anything right now
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You're right in the sense that you aren't ready for anything right now, including trying to mend relations with your ex.

Skrimpshidy said:
As far as my ex. To me now and ever since we became adults. She is the best woman on earth. No one ever has or ever will compare to her regardless of the outcome of this situation.
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Some people are exceptional, but they're not as special as your emotions are making it. Meet more people, and don't be stuck in your ways to think that your ex sets the standard for what you like. Consider that much of what you like about her has been influenced. You've been with her so long. IDK what else to say about it. Not like any of this is going to help in your situation. You're addicted.


Skrimpshidy said:
In my mind, I was good enough and amazing enough to get her and for her to fall in love with me. I know we both loved each other like we never loved anyone else in our lives
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Don't kid yourself. The past can easily be forgotten for the fresh and new guy in her life.

Skrimpshidy said:
Looking at this. Now I am a better, healthier, stronger version of the man she fell for. If I was good enough once, there’s no reason to believe that in time it can happen again.
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You are wrong. I know this sounds logical, but it doesn't work this way. You don't have the recipe for what she loves, and it damn sure ain't coming from your logic.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
I know where you're coming from, but injecting feelings of guilt and inadequacy into this cocktail I didn't think was appropriate in this case.

'what's wrong with you'? as if his entire worth is predicated on the ability to 'get women'. I gave that a bit of side-eye @ruji, I'm sorry to say.

Skrimp just needs to get over this chick and move on. He doesn't need feelings of inadequacy thrown in there, too - that's overkill in generating the kind of action that we all know he's got to take, and will plant a seed of doubt in his future that he doesn't need and would not be healthy or productive.
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I know what it looks like, but it isn't that. Most guys who say something like that is only trying to make himself look better. I don't care about that. But the issue is more real than guys like to admit. Honestly it was probably still dumb to say because whether it's true, it's not effective.
 
ruji said:
I am not trying to claim this. This is for you to consider on your own time. I could care less for my own ego. I really want you to succeed.


You're right in the sense that you aren't ready for anything right now, including trying to mend relations with your ex.


Some people are exceptional, but they're not as special as your emotions are making it. Meet more people, and don't be stuck in your ways to think that your ex sets the standard for what you like. Consider that much of what you like about her has been influenced. You've been with her so long. IDK what else to say about it. Not like any of this is going to help in your situation. You're addicted.



Don't kid yourself. The past can easily be forgotten for the fresh and new guy in her life.


You are wrong. I know this sounds logical, but it doesn't work this way. You don't have the recipe for what she loves, and it damn sure ain't coming from your logic.
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I do appreciate you being direct with your thoughts and I do appreciate you taking the time to reply.

One thing I need to make absolutely clear about all of this messy assed situation.

At this point I am in no way trying to get my ex to reconcile. I’m not ready to be the man she needs. That’s a fact. One way or another, I am going to improve myself and become the best version of me.

As far as addicted. That’s a very real possibility. I also understand that it seems I am obsessed. That’s possible too.

That said. I always am honest with myself and know myself very well. Once someone has my love or my heart, it is always theirs. And I gave mine to her. As far as I’m concerned. There is no difference knowing I will love her the rest of my life and know no other woman has or will compare to her, or people who think the same thing about a human then marry them.

Yes, I do hope sometime in the future both of us will be healed, forgive each other and start a new relationship even better and stronger than the last one. Neither of is were prepared for how we would feel. It scared the fuck out of both of us because we never experienced that depth before.

Right now, I am not trying to get over her. I am trying to get over that relationship and who she was during. Neither of us are the same now and never will be. I do understand there may not be a chance in the future. Though I do hope and trust the cosmos and the Universe that we weren’t brought together just to be ripped apart by both of our life circumstances.

Another thing. I’m thankful she didn’t tolerate my drunk behavior. If she did, I would’ve kept drinking. This only makes me love and respect her more.
 
ruji said:
I know what it looks like, but it isn't that. Most guys who say something like that is only trying to make himself look better. I don't care about that. But the issue is more real than guys like to admit. Honestly it was probably still dumb to say because whether it's true, it's not effective.
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This is true, absolutely, and in some cases can be the decider of a guy pining over his ex or moving on. But yeah, probably overkill in this case. Sorry if my reaction was a bit blunt or anything, but it sees like you're able to read my intentions anyway so it's all good :)
 
ruji said:
I know, but consider that going back is the ease of familiar comfort - the devil you know - is easier than facing a new and scary direction away from her.
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Considering she’s had a special place in my heart for 27 years which is more than half my life, it’s way deeper than just familiarity.

Even when we were both married to other people. There wasn’t a time when we didn’t feel each others presence or energy. Even in the years we didn’t have contact. So this situation is very different than just a normal breakup.

I’ve dated several woman in the past few years I’ve been divorced. Those breakups sucked and hurt a little. Moving on and healing is something I know about.
 
ruji said:
I know what it looks like, but it isn't that. Most guys who say something like that is only trying to make himself look better. I don't care about that. But the issue is more real than guys like to admit. Honestly it was probably still dumb to say because whether it's true, it's not effective.
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I understand your thoughts there. That’s also why I said it will sound arrogant. My point I guess, should’ve just been stated as, I don’t have self esteem or confidence issues. I apologize coming across as bragging and arrogant.
 
Asa said:
@Skrimpshidy - Just let it go and live your life well. The best way to attract people (including exes) is to live well, be well, accomplish goals, and being proactive about living a better life. Trying to improve your appearances does not hurt, either.
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Agreed! That’s exactly what I’m trying to do.
 
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