Ex not blocking my number

Skrimpshidy said:
True!

I’m not drinking for several reasons. Mostly for me and my kids. I started back up thinking after all this time it can be controlled. It can’t once it’s started. After all this, there can be no illusions of how fun or relaxing alcohol is. So in many ways I’m glad this all happened. Her not tolerating it only makes me love and respect her more.
Regardless if we do get back (which I don’t want her back at this time. Just maybe down the line after I’ve worked on myself more.)
This does serve as a catalyst of reminder why I will never drink again.

As for now. I am moving on with life and becoming more proactive in areas that have been neglected. I’m back in Judo after 2 years away. Finally going to send off for my black belt certificate that has been put off since I earned it 5 years ago. Back into the hobbies I neglected. Taking care of myself instead of letting myself go like I did the past 2 months.

All in all you’re right. I’m waiting but not waiting. The only possible thing is to regain myself and my life.
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Better
 
sassafras said:
Let me get this straight: the fact that you're repeatedly keep sending her messages and she's ignoring them isn't the problem; the problem is that she hasn't blocked you yet. You guys got together once before when she had her moment of weakness and she eventually responded to your messages and y'all got back together. THEREFORE, the fact that iPhone delivering your messages is irrefutable proof that she's giving you a chance! You just got to keep feeding her needy messages and pulling the arm until you get your lucky number sevens and maybe you'll get your relationship back.

This is horrid logic and it's so unhealthy for you, dude. You're only obsessing and prolonging your misery. Every time you send a message and hold out for the hope that you'll get one back is another lash against your heart.

You need to let this go. The fact that this doesn't fit your definition of a doorslam isn't reason enough to keep torturing yourself.
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Understood.

Here’s another part keeping me hanging.

We’ve known each other 27 years. She said I had her heart since she was 10 years old. It’s our ages that kept us apart all those years. I never looked at her that way because I’m 6 years older than her. It wasn’t until we were both adults that I started having feelings for her. Life took us separate was consequently.

I know what her door slams are like. She will block their number, block on FB and stop any avenue of possible communication. She doesn’t just leave people unblocked and ignore them.

It does make me think she’s left a crack in the door for the future. I’m done texting her. The last one sent was pure accident doing the letter writing exercise so I can create closure. My phone was acting up. When I tried to click on the text bubble I hit send accidentally. Which made me wonder about this.

I am giving her space and time. The mean time I’m picking up the pieces and moving on with my life trying to better myself for myself.

Your logic makes perfect sense. You’re probably correct too. Though I can’t help but thinking it’s not quite a normal situation.

Even though I love her with everything in me. I’m not trying to get her back at this point. There’s still a bunch more work I have to do on myself before I can possibly begin to be the type of man suitable for someone to love.

Not only that. She has a lot going on in her life she needs to focus 100% of her energy to before she can even begin to process this breakup.
 
Skrimpshidy said:
Understood.

Here’s another part keeping me hanging.

We’ve known each other 27 years. She said I had her heart since she was 10 years old. It’s our ages that kept us apart all those years. I never looked at her that way because I’m 6 years older than her. It wasn’t until we were both adults that I started having feelings for her. Life took us separate was consequently.

I know what her door slams are like. She will block their number, block on FB and stop any avenue of possible communication. She doesn’t just leave people unblocked and ignore them.

It does make me think she’s left a crack in the door for the future. I’m done texting her. The last one sent was pure accident doing the letter writing exercise so I can create closure. My phone was acting up. When I tried to click on the text bubble I hit send accidentally. Which made me wonder about this.

I am giving her space and time. The mean time I’m picking up the pieces and moving on with my life trying to better myself for myself.

Your logic makes perfect sense. You’re probably correct too. Though I can’t help but thinking it’s not quite a normal situation.

Even though I love her with everything in me. I’m not trying to get her back at this point. There’s still a bunch more work I have to do on myself before I can possibly begin to be the type of man suitable for someone to love.

Not only that. She has a lot going on in her life she needs to focus 100% of her energy to before she can even begin to process this breakup.
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Love is often sadness, but on the flip side, I'm glad to see that some kind of positive is emerging out of this. If the breakup catalyses you to action, then this might ultimately turn out to be a net benefit for you.

Good luck, Skrimp.
 
Update: After accidentally sending that long text, which wasn’t bad or whiny, or begging btw, she did finally block me.

Now I know it’s definitely over. Still doen’t change that it’s a cowardly, childish, and selfish thing to do.

I appreciate all of you taking the time to reply. Thank you!
 
Skrimpshidy said:
Update: After accidentally sending that long text, which wasn’t bad or whiny, or begging btw, she did finally block me.

Now I know it’s definitely over. Still doen’t change that it’s a cowardly, childish, and selfish thing to do.

I appreciate all of you taking the time to reply. Thank you!
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On one hand, I'm relieved that you have your confirmation and that you have your impetus to finally move on. On the other, I know how much this must suck. I'm sorry, dude.
 
sassafras said:
On one hand, I'm relieved that you have your confirmation and that you have your impetus to finally move on. On the other, I know how much this must suck. I'm sorry, dude.
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Thank you! It does hurt like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Though, really, I deserve much better in life than this. I did make mistakes yes. But, if someone is so shallow to be this way, they can fuck right the hell off. Guess It’s my turn to reciprocate the door slam. Soon enough she won’t even be a memory.
 
Skrimpshidy said:
Thank you! It does hurt like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Though, really, I deserve much better in life than this. I did make mistakes yes. But, if someone is so shallow to be this way, they can fuck right the hell off. Guess It’s my turn to reciprocate the door slam. Soon enough she won’t even be a memory.
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This is probably going to get me banned but...

Hmmm...Interesting. This must be driving you mad Stuart, not knowing what was going on, or what I was actually thinking...

You hacked my emails, my phone, read emails that were never meant for you...Even went so far as to hire people to follow me...Who are now threatening my life, FYI...

Yet you STILL can't figure me out...So what do you do? Pretend to be my boyfriend and go on social media sites with sob stories about our "relationship" because you JUST CAN'T HELP YOURSELF BUT BE A STALKER ASSHOLE...

Skrimpshidy is either a man named Stuart Hammond who has been stalking me for a year and a half...Or one of his hired goons looking for yet more insight into my life, and he's (or they) are using the participants of this forum to inadvertantly help him.

The vast majority of this story is fabricated...Point is this man is psychotic, dangerous and has sent people after me who are trying to kill me...You don't have to believe a word I say, but heed this:

BE CAREFUL OF WHO YOU TALK TO ONLINE, YOU MIGHT RUN INTO ORGANIZED CRIME, OR A PSYCHOPATH.
 
outhereonmyown76 said:
This is probably going to get me banned but...

Hmmm...Interesting. This must be driving you mad Stuart, not knowing what was going on, or what I was actually thinking...

You hacked my emails, my phone, read emails that were never meant for you...Even went so far as to hire people to follow me...Who are now threatening my life, FYI...

Yet you STILL can't figure me out...So what do you do? Pretend to be my boyfriend and go on social media sites with sob stories about our "relationship" because you JUST CAN'T HELP YOURSELF BUT BE A STALKER ASSHOLE...

Skrimpshidy is either a man named Stuart Hammond who has been stalking me for a year and a half...Or one of his hired goons looking for yet more insight into my life, and he's (or they) are using the participants of this forum to inadvertantly help him.

The vast majority of this story is fabricated...Point is this man is psychotic, dangerous and has sent people after me who are trying to kill me...You don't have to believe a word I say, but heed this:

BE CAREFUL OF WHO YOU TALK TO ONLINE, YOU MIGHT RUN INTO ORGANIZED CRIME, OR A PSYCHOPATH.
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Also on perscaf.

I figured I would write a bit in here, as a warning...

I realized I pissed a bunch of people off in this community, but truthfully in the end it doesn't really matter WHAT personality type you are, it's more important how you lived your life...

There are some very vile people online...People who delight in mayhem and bloodshed...If you're not careful, you could run into one...

All of this mess started with the stalker because I was lonely, and I wanted a man to love me...

Instead, I ran into a psychopath...I believe he's had people tracking me for well over a year...He's hacked my phones, reads my private emails and spills the contents online for all to read, and publicly mock me with...

He even came to Seattle, all the way from New Jersey when he hacked my last phone with internet access and found out I was moving to Montana...

I ran away in a panic, but was chased relentlessly by the thugs he hired online, who then went onto threaten me, and follow me everywhere...

Do you know what it's like to be hunted by a bunch of bloodthirsty psychopaths? I do, and it's terrifying..

I didn't know people like this existed, those who actually delight in psychologically torturing people, and killing innocent men, women and children...Parts of Italy live in terror because of these psychopaths known as the mob...

But, the evidence I have is circumstantial, not enough to go to the police with. Without them thinking I'm a schizophrenic...

They know this, they know I'm not a threat to them, but still they persist...

Sometimes, the ability to notice patterns can be your downfall...

I've had people threaten my life, laugh at me when I'm crying, do all kinds of nasty psychological Bullshit on me, all in the last month...

And it's all because of HIM, Stuart Hammond of New Jersey, 49 years old, and apparently a psychopath as well...

I guess in the end, I'm just not ready to die. My life has been so shitty already, this is like the icing on the cake. That I have the God damned mafia after me, because of him.

Stuart, you claim to "love" me? Yet you set bloodthirsty psychopaths after me? You threaten me, you hack my phones, you send people out after me to kill me, yet you STILL claim to "love" me? You don't know the first thing about love, you selfish, psychopathic prick...

These people wouldn't know I existed if not for you, you fucking asshole. I hope you rot in hell for what you've done to me.

For God's sake everyone, be careful of who you talk to online, you could end up running into a psychopath like I did.

I wanted my life to mean something, you prick...Not end up a statistic, just another woman murdered by a man who thinks women are a piece of property, to dispose of at will...
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