Ex not blocking my number

outhereonmyown76 said:
This is probably going to get me banned but...

Hmmm...Interesting. This must be driving you mad Stuart, not knowing what was going on, or what I was actually thinking...

You hacked my emails, my phone, read emails that were never meant for you...Even went so far as to hire people to follow me...Who are now threatening my life, FYI...

Yet you STILL can't figure me out...So what do you do? Pretend to be my boyfriend and go on social media sites with sob stories about our "relationship" because you JUST CAN'T HELP YOURSELF BUT BE A STALKER ASSHOLE...

Skrimpshidy is either a man named Stuart Hammond who has been stalking me for a year and a half...Or one of his hired goons looking for yet more insight into my life, and he's (or they) are using the participants of this forum to inadvertantly help him.

The vast majority of this story is fabricated...Point is this man is psychotic, dangerous and has sent people after me who are trying to kill me...You don't have to believe a word I say, but heed this:

BE CAREFUL OF WHO YOU TALK TO ONLINE, YOU MIGHT RUN INTO ORGANIZED CRIME, OR A PSYCHOPATH.
Click to expand...

giphy.gif
 
My experience is that when people ghost it's because they want to avoid conflict. Most people aren't comfortable being honest and direct so they like to ignore things instead, in their head thinking " they'll figure it out". I've had this happen to me a few times and it's frustrating because I'm a direct person and I try to give them every possible out so they can give me resolution AND not feel like an asshole about that. But usually it doesn't work. People will still feel shitty theyd just rather not have to own up to it.

It's a maturity thing, really. But my problem was I wanted resolution and I have to remind myself that people like that are never going to be able to give you resolution because their coping mechanism is to run away. So either you torment yourself trying to get them to make you your mind or you let go.

I've tried to reflect on it but I'm not sure why it bothers me so much when I can't have resolution to something- because technically them not responding is an answer in themselves - I think in some way I'm Angry and want them to take responsibility since I'm willing too. Kinda of about wanting them to reciprocate- I'm being vulnerable and honest, why can't you? But you can't expect other people to fulfill your emotional needs. Then when you can't, what do you do with those emotions?

Feel them.

Acknowledge them.

Wonder why you're experiencing them.


And don't judge yourself for it.

Practice some self compassion here and think about how it is really sad that you love someone who is unable to even respond to your messages.

Now think,

How did I get into this situation?

Again don't judge yourself. Legitimately ask yourself that question and think about it honestly.

The reason I wasnt able to let go was because I believed that if I was patient enough he would fall in love with me. Which honestly isn't healthy thinking. Either someone loves you or they don't. Feelings take time to develop but at the same time, you somehow have to figure out where to draw the line and what is unproductive.

And honestly? Nobody in this forum can tell you what that line is. Psychology has its recommendations and society sets it's standards, but you begin to realize there are exceptions to rules.

For me I experienced so much emotional pain with no return at all that I had to ask myself:

Am I living for me or for other people?

Because if you're living for you, and you love someone in a way that makes you really unhappy, the person that benefits from that is the other person not you. You suffer for it. Do you want your entire life to be a favor to somebody who may never love you back?

It's a choice you can make.

I know a lot of people who are into that, who pine after people fruitlessly, hoping. That's their choice though and if it makes them happy that's fine. It's just that I find most of the time it causes self hatred.
 
slant said:
My experience is that when people ghost it's because they want to avoid conflict. Most people aren't comfortable being honest and direct so they like to ignore things instead, in their head thinking " they'll figure it out". I've had this happen to me a few times and it's frustrating because I'm a direct person and I try to give them every possible out so they can give me resolution AND not feel like an asshole about that. But usually it doesn't work. People will still feel shitty theyd just rather not have to own up to it.

It's a maturity thing, really. But my problem was I wanted resolution and I have to remind myself that people like that are never going to be able to give you resolution because their coping mechanism is to run away. So either you torment yourself trying to get them to make you your mind or you let go.

I've tried to reflect on it but I'm not sure why it bothers me so much when I can't have resolution to something- because technically them not responding is an answer in themselves - I think in some way I'm Angry and want them to take responsibility since I'm willing too. Kinda of about wanting them to reciprocate- I'm being vulnerable and honest, why can't you? But you can't expect other people to fulfill your emotional needs. Then when you can't, what do you do with those emotions?

Feel them.

Acknowledge them.

Wonder why you're experiencing them.


And don't judge yourself for it.

Practice some self compassion here and think about how it is really sad that you love someone who is unable to even respond to your messages.

Now think,

How did I get into this situation?

Again don't judge yourself. Legitimately ask yourself that question and think about it honestly.

The reason I wasnt able to let go was because I believed that if I was patient enough he would fall in love with me. Which honestly isn't healthy thinking. Either someone loves you or they don't. Feelings take time to develop but at the same time, you somehow have to figure out where to draw the line and what is unproductive.

And honestly? Nobody in this forum can tell you what that line is. Psychology has its recommendations and society sets it's standards, but you begin to realize there are exceptions to rules.

For me I experienced so much emotional pain with no return at all that I had to ask myself:

Am I living for me or for other people?

Because if you're living for you, and you love someone in a way that makes you really unhappy, the person that benefits from that is the other person not you. You suffer for it. Do you want your entire life to be a favor to somebody who may never love you back?

It's a choice you can make.

I know a lot of people who are into that, who pine after people fruitlessly, hoping. That's their choice though and if it makes them happy that's fine. It's just that I find most of the time it causes self hatred.
Click to expand...
People ghost because dealing with separation is a task they found they can cut out without consequence. They are probably on to the next person who is providing them fresh new emotions, so speaking to the previous person is not only a waste of time, it also feels like going back to this old boring thing. Is it immoral? I've spent too much time wondering how someone could be this way, but when you are ignored, and he/she can't hear/see you cry about it, he/she doesn't have to think about it.

It doesn't matter if people are shitty. What matters is that people are going to be shitty, and you have to adapt.
 
outhereonmyown76 said:
This is probably going to get me banned but...

Hmmm...Interesting. This must be driving you mad Stuart, not knowing what was going on, or what I was actually thinking...

You hacked my emails, my phone, read emails that were never meant for you...Even went so far as to hire people to follow me...Who are now threatening my life, FYI...

Yet you STILL can't figure me out...So what do you do? Pretend to be my boyfriend and go on social media sites with sob stories about our "relationship" because you JUST CAN'T HELP YOURSELF BUT BE A STALKER ASSHOLE...

Skrimpshidy is either a man named Stuart Hammond who has been stalking me for a year and a half...Or one of his hired goons looking for yet more insight into my life, and he's (or they) are using the participants of this forum to inadvertantly help him.

The vast majority of this story is fabricated...Point is this man is psychotic, dangerous and has sent people after me who are trying to kill me...You don't have to believe a word I say, but heed this:

BE CAREFUL OF WHO YOU TALK TO ONLINE, YOU MIGHT RUN INTO ORGANIZED CRIME, OR A PSYCHOPATH.
Click to expand...
giphy.gif




From what I've seen on the internet, your post is no more believable than his.

Take this to the police instead.
 
outhereonmyown76 said:
This is probably going to get me banned but...

Hmmm...Interesting. This must be driving you mad Stuart, not knowing what was going on, or what I was actually thinking...

You hacked my emails, my phone, read emails that were never meant for you...Even went so far as to hire people to follow me...Who are now threatening my life, FYI...

Yet you STILL can't figure me out...So what do you do? Pretend to be my boyfriend and go on social media sites with sob stories about our "relationship" because you JUST CAN'T HELP YOURSELF BUT BE A STALKER ASSHOLE...

Skrimpshidy is either a man named Stuart Hammond who has been stalking me for a year and a half...Or one of his hired goons looking for yet more insight into my life, and he's (or they) are using the participants of this forum to inadvertantly help him.

The vast majority of this story is fabricated...Point is this man is psychotic, dangerous and has sent people after me who are trying to kill me...You don't have to believe a word I say, but heed this:

BE CAREFUL OF WHO YOU TALK TO ONLINE, YOU MIGHT RUN INTO ORGANIZED CRIME, OR A PSYCHOPATH.
Click to expand...

This is strange.
I have so many questions.


MoonFlier said:
Wow! Who's stalking who now? This is getting fun.
Hanging in here to see if this story evolves.

Where's that popcorn? Oh. Yeah. Wyote tossed it at some folks in the other thread.
Click to expand...

Right?!?!?!?!??????? Das wut I be sayin.
 
It's like some neighbors you've never talked to from down the street just up and decided to have a fight in your front lawn.

I wish you both the best.
May you find happiness and healthy functionality.
 
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