@sassafras I've developed feelings and I find him attractive, but I don't wanna be in a relationship with him if that makes sense. I really love him as a close friend and like you said, I don't wanna give him the wrong impression. Hopefully he only sees me as a friend as well. I really don't wanna lose him.
That sounds complicated.
@sassafras We were hanging out with friends and after he asked if I wanna go for a walk alone even tho we spent already 4 hours together and he had work the next day, we stayed there till 11pm. And yeah nothing happend that would directly indicate his feelings for me. He does give me a lot of attention and his time, but you're right... could be only friendly feelings. It's just that people usually say that guys don't give you that much attention unless they want something more.
Ah but they do especially when they really care -- even just as a friend.
If you'd rather wait and see because keeping him as a friend is more important, do that.
Waiting and seeing has its benefits. I think if the depth of your contact continues, the depth of your relationship will be sustained. This can either be a good thing or a bad thing. Have you considered the worst case scenarios? Have you conducted some serious introspection? How likely are you to develop feelings for him? You have to consider these from his end too even though you are not in a position to guess his feelings, but suppose such a scenario comes up, how do you feel about the thought of it?
Sometimes love happens even when we don't plan it to so just prepare yourself for all that comes with it.
In any case, when a good person comes into our life, we let them. They are bound to teach us something about ourselves. At this point, it is best to cherish what is and cross the messy bridges should it ever get there. I promise you, sometimes the messy never does happen but this usually begins with knowing exactly what we want. So If I may, I implore you to begin with knowing what you want.
There's a lot of good advice here but the only way to be sure is to keep a close eye on his Spotify activity and what colour clothes he wears.
But actually, the other advice is good. It's not necessarily so. I have female friends who I had no intention of getting closer to until we did (oops) and, even with the one where nothing transpired, it didn't end the friendship entirely. I mean, the reality is that these friendships have an expiry date because I'll never meet their future boyfriends etc but it's not necessarily an all or nothing thing.
Expiry date is correct. If you ever find yourselves dating other people
@BlackHorse, the respectful thing to do is to dial down the connection between you. Do you think it would be fair for either of you to continue the depth of your relationship while you pursue deep commitments with others? I'm a bit of a stringent monogamist so my answer to this is no, it's not fair. But that depends on what you think.
I don't know if I should open a new thread but since it's the same topic I will just continue here.
So a l lot has happened. As predicted (or not lol) I fell in love with him. He wrote me and invited me out maybe 3 or 4 times and ofc i couldn't help but completely fall for him. Everything went so smooth, he seemed interested (lots of eye contact, smiling, physical contact and flirting) but then again at some points he seemed a bit off (or maybe I'm just overthinking the whole process again). Anyway, we last saw eachother about 10 days ago. I wrote him once in between if he wants to meet, he said sure, we wrote for a bit and then he just ignored my last message and never replied or wrote me again. That was 6 days ago. And now I have no idea what happened or what to do next. He means a lot to me. It's true that he's online on facebook every 15 hours lately and I don't know what's going on. Should I just move on? I really wanna write him again but I don't wanna seem pushy or needy. I keep telling mysef that if he's interested he will write me, but that hope is basically dead. What person at their right mind doesn't wite someone they like in 10 days.
Thanks for reading guys
Confess.
well, at least ask yourself if you want ro confess or if you can handle losing him as a romantic partner and keeping him as a friend. On the other hand, you can move on from him as a friend too. That's also an option. The key is to check within. You have to make your choices too. Do you think you would be able to handle it should he ever start dating someone? I saw while he isn't and while he's available, confess. You can give him some time to think about it. Go get him. There is no rule book saying you can't. But if he rejects you flat out,take it gracefully and check with yourself if you can handle that too.
As to the texting, it is immaterial. He may or may not be busy. He may or may not have been thinking of you. In any case, if he's even interested, he will pursue. Men are wired to pursue and they will if they're sure.
And as I said, you could also do the pursuing.
