Interested in Ni... wizardry.
INFJs - How acutely aware are you of it? What does it do for you? How does it affect your life? How does it "come off" to others?
Ni happens to me in several different ways. One way, I’ll get a feeling about something - or perhaps a sudden linking of two apparently unrelated things that seem unexpectedly to complement each other. For example, I’ve been following a particular INFJ blogger I admire for the last few weeks; it suddenly struck me last week that he reminded me very much of a local and very ESTP guide that took me round a small Scottish Island for a day tour last year. To find out why this sort of unlikely match should occur to me isn’t clear at first and takes me some work – Ti mainly to start off with. It’s as if I’ve got an elephant-of-the-mind in a dark shed, like in the Buddhist parable, and my Ti is blind and can only use touch to find out about it. I can hear and smell that there is something large in there, but I have to go all round it and feel it with Ti to begin to understand it properly and consciously. Sadly, I never know when to stop and I’ll analyse it to death given half a chance. And then getting the results out to anyone else is another thing completely – I’ll know eventually what the elephant is like, to the 10th degree probably, but most people aren’t too tolerant of a long walk round the beast, particularly when we get to the tail end. Fe or Te should help is the usual advice, but alas …….. for me not always successful.
Another way – I’ll get an image of something and it can be quite poetic, mystical even. Once I “saw” the universe from the outside, as a complete thing, all of time and space rolled up into a single rose on a long stem, gorgeous, spectral, eerie, monochrome. Everything is dark around it. It is alive, it is complete in both time and space and it is full of purpose which is fulfilled by its very nature. It is not the only rose, there are many of them laid out in cultivated rows. There is a planter - I can’t see the planter but everything is glowing with “his/her/its” presence. How can I talk about it properly, because language needs time and this is outside time and contains all of time and space within it, and that is only a small part of it, and I am enraptured, unnerved, disturbed, privileged - and I would not have missed this for a fortune in gold. It is a perception, a bit like seeing - it’s not a thought or an idea. It hits me in the face as a single image event, not spread out into a narrative like this description has to be - the words I use to (sort of) describe it come from Ti and Fe processing, I think. I experience quite a lot of insights expressed pictorially or metaphorically, mostly much less mystical and much more grounded than this one. They usually show me a broader, synthesised view of something I am interested in, or perhaps a quirky fresh angle on it. Maybe a way to relate to this is to remember and work at apprehending a striking dream image you have had, but that isn’t quite the same.
Sometimes Ni for me is like being in a very noisy party, bar or café for hours. For example, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and there is a barrage of images, hopes, fears, worries, joys, things I should have said to some jerk 15 years ago, desires, things to do, guilt about something I did when I was a child 50 or 60 odd years ago, answers to life the universe and everything – all rushing together and I can’t shut them out. For me, Sudoku helps quieten things down. This experience is very humbling because without it I wouldn’t realise how easily Ni can generate a complete load of bollocks. Too much people contact, particularly in groups, has a similar sort of effect on me – eventually I can’t shut out the noise they make in my head, and can’t process it properly.
That reminds me – Ni provides a brilliant bullshit detector if it’s trained properly. Trouble is there is so much of it about my detector keeps getting overloaded.
Before I retired, I was a middle manager in the computer systems department of a large multi-national. Our user department was highly technical, and the computing technology highly specialised – all at the cutting edge of what was possible. I couldn’t hope to have in-depth knowledge of all the necessary details and theory, but Ni was great at picking up broad and accurate big picture models from just some of the details and I specialised in being a generalist. I experienced it very much like in the first example I gave above, but on a much broader and deeper front. It was more like having a whole a herd of elephants, developing over many years and several generations, and moving about on a large territory. I fed it and evolved it with a constant loop, back and forward, from particulars to the general, and from the ideas to the concrete results. To do this I used a lot of Ti, but, primarily and much more importantly, I used a lot of interaction with people, individually and in teams, through all the extraverted functions. It seems pretty obvious to me that anyone doing the same sort of job needs to use Ni, but they need to use several other MBTI functions competently as well: it is no more or less important than those - so of course there were managers of other type preferences who did the job successfully, but differently than me, and used Ni even if they didn’t realise it. The people I saw struggling to some extent in my particular combination of circumstances were dominant S types - but then I could get blown out with inferior Se if I tried to take in too much new stuff at a time.
I’ve got quite a few other herds of elephants that I’ve farmed down the decades, though some of them are perhaps woolly mammoths, or even triceratopses.
As I write this, it occurs to me that everyone must use Ni very proficiently to live in their world – the sum total of their language, family life, community, society, political persuasion, religious outlook, everyday technology etc, etc. We must all have a model of our world inside our heads that we take completely for granted and which we are not usually very conscious of. From infancy to old age, we are constantly refining it, using it, getting feedback and modifying it - without it, day to day life would be impossible. We don’t need to think about using it consciously, it’s just automatic. I notice mine most of all when I’m put into a situation that doesn’t fit my everyday world view. When I first started visiting the USA on business trips, for example (I come from England), I remember yelling down the corridor to our US PA for a rubber, and got some funny looks till I was taken aside and told gently that what I wanted are called erasers over there. More seriously, it is weird forcing yourself against all your instincts to check to the left first, not to the right, when you step off the pavement (sorry …. sidewalk!).
I’ve gone to town a bit on this haven’t I – and I’d like very much to thank you for your question which feels like you held up a mirror for me to see myself in. Does it sound like I have put a lot of thought and effort into this over a long period of time? I haven’t – I have only realised this lot about myself as I attempted to answer your question, though on the other hand it feels like I’ve known it for years. I love metasystems and recursivity – the idea of turning Ni back on itself to see what kind of an elephant it is seems like a lot of fun to me, but what do you call the faculty that sits outside this process and watches it? MetaNi? My job brought me into contact with many people like yourself with an INTP preference, and I really enjoyed working with them. When you have two people with a playful streak, sparking insights off each other, one a dominant Ti and the other a dominant Ni, the Ni/Ti interactions I described above can be very entertaining and much more effective than doing it solo. Could that possibly be a way you could get closer to experiencing Ni yourself?
And now you can see what I mean when I say my Ti happily analyses my Ni to death. I’ve let it do so in this case and wandered all around my own Ni Elephant “out loud” so that I can show you sort of how it plays out in my head. I’d better stop before we get under that elephant’s tail for too long and I risk triggering everyone else’s bullshit detectors on this site ……….