How much will having no friends or partners affect my professional life?

uzbirn

uzbirn

Newbie
MBTI
INFP
For some months I've been feeling like I definitely gave up on looking for any new people into my personal life. I don't really care being alone but just another productive tool of the system or whatever, but I write this thread with another concern in my mind.

I'm not sure where to draw a proper boundary when it comes to this, but I fear once I want to explore new job opportunities I'll be judged for my personal life choices; once they know I'm a friendless singleton, people won't trust me even if I don't keep any other intention but to be productive and earn my life. This is assumed I have enough social skills for doing a good job, for which otherwise they could judge using a less biased criteria.

Am I forced to persist in redeveloping and keeping those personal life symbols only in order to be allowed to work and live?
 
uzbirn said:
I'll be judged for my personal life choices; once they know I'm a friendless singleton, people won't trust me
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Is this your experience...I mean, have you actually experienced the above? In what way?

If you are confident in yourself that you don't care about being alone - then personally that's the message I would relay to others.....but I don't think I fully understand???

Are you able to give an example of how having no friends/partners affects your professional life?

Also, hello @uzbirn and welcome to the forum :)
 
uzbirn said:
I've been feeling like I definitely gave up on looking for any new people into my personal life.
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Why do you feel this way? I think you can still find work, and do well, but having some friends is always good.

Work is often a good place to make friends, and if you are hoping to find a partner that can happen at any time. But you need to put yourself into situations where you'll meet people.
 
uzbirn said:
For some months I've been feeling like I definitely gave up on looking for any new people into my personal life. I don't really care being alone but just another productive tool of the system or whatever, but I write this thread with another concern in my mind.

I'm not sure where to draw a proper boundary when it comes to this, but I fear once I want to explore new job opportunities I'll be judged for my personal life choices; once they know I'm a friendless singleton, people won't trust me even if I don't keep any other intention but to be productive and earn my life. This is assumed I have enough social skills for doing a good job, for which otherwise they could judge using a less biased criteria.

Am I forced to persist in redeveloping and keeping those personal life symbols only in order to be allowed to work and live?
Click to expand...

Don't tell them. It's none of their business.
 
It may make networking difficult.
 
How will they know anything about your social/personal life? I never discuss my personal relationships or life with potential employers. And it never comes up. But I'm in the US where everyone is afraid of getting sued, so employers usually don't ask personal questions because then someone can come back and say the employer discriminated against them if they answer and don't get the job.

I would focus on the results you brought in your current job and why you're a good fit for any other job you go for.
 
Aside from "making networking difficult," it could aid your career. You effectively have no distractions that prevent you from reaching the top of the hierarchy of whatever organization you're in.

You could be great.
 
souvenir said:
Don't tell them. It's none of their business.
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It really isn't any of their business. And, to the point @acd made, they almost certainly aren't going to ask. Could it affect you professionally? The only way I could see that it would is if you bring whatever reason you believe you don't have friends into the workplace. What I mean by that is: if you believe the reason you don't have friends is that you're not likable or worthy or _______, and you don't interact with people at work because (you believe) you're not likable or worthy or ________, then that could affect you professionally.

We humans have a way of turning the things we believe about ourselves into reality without intending to.
 
I think I may know what you're worried about because I was also wondered about that. I think it has less to do with your social life outside of work and more socializing at work and at social functions. I was also nervous about getting along at work and worried that my success was not going to be based on doing the job but whether I was making friends at work, schmoozing, and attending work events outside of work. There was a question of not being able to move up the ladder if you weren't making yourself socially accessible. OP, is this what you meant?
 
souvenir said:
Don't tell them. It's none of their business.
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I reiterate.

It truly is none of anyone's business. In fact, who you are, how many friends you have, and your personal life outside of work is no one's business. Not now, not ever.

OP: You owe them nothing aside from your work ethic. Chin up.
 
uzbirn said:
For some months I've been feeling like I definitely gave up on looking for any new people into my personal life. I don't really care being alone but just another productive tool of the system or whatever, but I write this thread with another concern in my mind.

I'm not sure where to draw a proper boundary when it comes to this, but I fear once I want to explore new job opportunities I'll be judged for my personal life choices; once they know I'm a friendless singleton, people won't trust me even if I don't keep any other intention but to be productive and earn my life. This is assumed I have enough social skills for doing a good job, for which otherwise they could judge using a less biased criteria.

Am I forced to persist in redeveloping and keeping those personal life symbols only in order to be allowed to work and live?
Click to expand...

Hi, i’m new here and I don’t really know if i’m Replying in the right way :)
In answer to your question: I think having no friends will have a a great influence on you. I know the feeling as an INFJ like: nobody understands me and why do I have to have friends. But I think you really need people. And I wouldn’t say you really have to look for people to interact with, just be you and and it will be okay (I know it’s a cliche :). Last halve year I noticed that people don’t really have to understand me to make good friends. And when I told a guy with who i’m not even really involved with, that the problems I can’t handle can’t be handled by anyone in my opinion. He stopped walking, laid his hands on my shoulder and said: i’ll be there man.
Real friends aren’t necessarily the people who understand me but the people who try to understand me or the people who even though they don’t understand try to help.
 
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