How should a member fulfill their potential?

If any of you know me well enough, I'm down. I'm always looking for ways to improve.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
Someone said to me angrily once (in a shop about a year ago) that I gave off the vibe that I thought she was inferior to me.

I had no idea what she was talking about - I don't think in those terms. Maybe I'm just too proud in a sickening way? I don't know.
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Everyone has a different way of being around other people. I know that people sometimes think I'm arrogant or snobbish because I get very nervous around them and don't speak. They take it as if I think I'm better than them, awkward, or extremely weird (the last two are probably true). I don't get along with girls because they think I'm bitch because I have no idea how to interact with them. Growing up I didn't have any girlfriends and so now-a-days I just stare at them blankly.
I don't think you should worry about what one girl thinks. Maybe she felt inferior because she didn't know what to talk about with you; that's not your fault. Letting go of people who aren't compatible with you is just a part of living.
On the other hand, if this is something you think you need to work on, have at it. The best way to change something you're uncomfortable with about yourself is to expose yourself to the situation again and again. Try talking to people differently. Don't hide your intelligence but be conscious of the fact they might not know what you're talking about.
 
give me advice please
 
I'll throw my hat in the ring for this.

I don't have the energy to analyze anyone for a while though (too worn out from finals).
 
Res said:
You, you, you, you . . . what can i say. I see you in rallies, protesting injustice in some form or another, and fighting for important causes on a global stage. And music maybe a part of this as it is important to you and you have the talent to send a powerful message through it. As a teacher, I think you will be seriously inspirational because of your humor, compassion (as someone else here said), and your realism. You can make people listen to you if you want, but i think if you refine what it is you really want to do (because i think you're a jack of all trades), and so many things are appealing to you, then you can make a serious dent in this world. You have the goods, you just need the impetus to get moving (if you don't mind me saying) *don't hurt me*
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Thank you Res, for the kind words and also a little bit of what I need to hear. I really do need to get moving. I have all these grand schemes and ideas, but I feel so much more comfortable sitting idle. I know I need to just get up and go. I take risks all the time, so I don't understand why I'm afraid to take the risk of starting something like this. I think it's something I need to work on, and someday soon I'm just going to jump into it and get going.

WellNoWonder said:
Sometimes, I get the feeling you are angry with yourself about your past drug-usage. I also get the feeling that you are afraid you may return to that life, but of course, I may be wrong.

Is this true?
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Yes. I do get angry with myself over my past drug abuse. I'm all for drugs and trying things out, what I don't like is the way I used them. I have holes that I'm still trying to fill, and drugs were the easy way to fill them. However, it was like trying to mend a wall with silly putty. It does the trick for the time being, but as soon as it's gone the gaping hole reappears, along with a number of new ones.

I've learned a lot about self control in the past few years, and I don't really fear falling back into my old habits. I don't drink like I used to, nor do I have any desire to. I don't do opiates anymore, nor do I put myself in situations where I would be tempted. I am afraid, however, that I may not have learned health coping mechanisms. I used drugs to fill my holes, and I fear that instead of learning to fill these holes I've replaced the drugs with something else. What that something else is? I don't have the slightest clue.
That Girl said:
Dear MF,

You need to write more. I think you need to stop worrying about a muse and write whatever comes to your head. If it sucks, keep it around and come back to it later. If it still sucks, scrap away, but keep the lines you like. I know you think that you have nothing to say sometimes but I disagree; you have a lot to say. I think you're just afraid to say it. I believe that you will eventually grow into yourself and accept all that you are. You say that drugs messed you up, you can't take that back, but remember that if you did become a different person there is no way you would be as wonderful as you are now. You welcomed me without question and you helped me to become a better, honest writer. I'm not worried about you and you shouldn't be worried about yourself.
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I agree, I do need to write more. I've been working on it the past few days. I don't feel a muse like I used to, but I think the practice is good. The bad part about my muse is that it was generally intertwined with the drugs. My addictions made me feel like shit, and thusly I had an unending pool of "muse" to tap. I need to find a new muse.

The thing that scares me about the drugs is the way I think they may have messed with my brain. My mind is much more silent than it used to be, and that in of its self scares me. I feel as if not much is going on up there.

You're right though, I can't that back and I need to work on accepting that they've made me who I am today. No sense living in the past.

Res said:
MF,

I remember when I read through your earlier blog, it was amazing what you wrote. Your writing style was pretty intense and involved. And whatever regrets you feel, you were able bring everyone into your world with your writing. I agree with That Girl, let your writing speak for itself.
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Again, thank you Res. You're helping me find inspiration to continue writing.
 
fly away said:
I'm in if anyone wants to give me advice.
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You need to stop being so afraid. You also should stop trying to please everyone else. Not everyone you meet in your life is going to like you, and that's ok.

Also, cut people out of your life if they're bringing you down. I know it's hard, but you'll be so much happier in the end.

Another thing, I know you know that you have skills, so instead of hoping someone notices, put yourself out there and make sure they can't miss it. You will shine like a diamond as soon as you stop hiding. I have faith in you, doodlebug!

But maybe I should take my own advice. Sorry if I sound harsh.
 
That Girl said:
Everyone has a different way of being around other people. I know that people sometimes think I'm arrogant or snobbish because I get very nervous around them and don't speak. They take it as if I think I'm better than them, awkward, or extremely weird (the last two are probably true). I don't get along with girls because they think I'm bitch because I have no idea how to interact with them. Growing up I didn't have any girlfriends and so now-a-days I just stare at them blankly.
I don't think you should worry about what one girl thinks. Maybe she felt inferior because she didn't know what to talk about with you; that's not your fault. Letting go of people who aren't compatible with you is just a part of living.
On the other hand, if this is something you think you need to work on, have at it. The best way to change something you're uncomfortable with about yourself is to expose yourself to the situation again and again. Try talking to people differently. Don't hide your intelligence but be conscious of the fact they might not know what you're talking about.
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What you mention is related to how different types interract. Learning to interract/operate outside one's preferred mode promotes type development.

Introverts can seem withdrawn, stand-off-ish, or aloof to extroverts. I'm guessing that this may be a large factor.

I am VERY introverted and since I finished my more formal tertiary studies, I have certainly had to operate outside my preferred parameters. However, I suspect that I have not had much type-development, but rather that I have formed patterns of functioning according to my type in most situations. So instead of developing true extroversion abilities, I have developed an impersonality to my interractions, in such a way that most of the time I will not let on anything that I am thinking, feeling, planning, etc. When I interact it will be very task-focused and impersonal.

I can even see that trait in this post. If I ever get beyond this kind of introverted functioning, it will probably be after my working life finishes in several decades, because my work requires me to function with detachment - and my work takes up basically most of my time.... except when I'm posting on the forum.
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anyone can try me if you want but tell me what you really think and not what you think I would like to hear :D



Roger:

why do you want to improve yourself? It seems like your whole life is built around it, all your posts are about it. Learning to be a better person and by doing that you are very hard on yourself and you don't see the potential you allready have. You are trying to hard! For many years I have done the same. I wanted to become enlighted :D and I thought I had to become a better person for that, improve myself. I was wrong! I believe now that enlightement lies in acceptance. Accepting yourself the way you are, accepting the world, your life the way it is, liberates you. It opens you up for the potential you already have, for the goodness you already show, the possibilities that you have now. It opens you up to the here and now, to the messages of God, to the flow of the universe, to oneness... Why are you affraid to accept yourself the way you are?
 
res

I agree with what is allready said.
You ask a lot of questions but you (almost) never answer them yourself. Why is that? Are you affraid to show yourself? You come of like a very analytical person but that is not all you are. You hold back. It is like your analyses forms an armor you are hiding in, protecting yourself with? Why are you affraid of showing yourself more on the forums? People like you here a lot and they will not judge you or reject you! :hug:
 
Barnabas: Your faith is like a light which illumines everything around you - look at things in the light of your faith and don't get drawn into the notion that the world of faith is separate from the world. (I am saying don't get drawn into cultish mentality, I am not saying that you are in a cult mentality).

MF: ditch the drugs licit or otherwise. And don't be stingy in investing in one of your great personal assets: pay for voice lessons/training, so that your art will better reflect your soul, with greater ease.

Arbygil: Get out of the rat race - your mind is too big for a small maze.

Roger: keep up your positive outlook, despite it being such a rare perspective - and rarely appreciated. It's contagious.

Uberrogo: have a family - you would make a great dad.

Indigo: get to the bottom of your obsession with punctuality and get over it. Being punctual is good, being obsessive about it isn't.

Rememberwhenitrained: get a male looking avatar - I'm always confused.
 
Morgain said:
res

I agree with what is allready said.
You ask a lot of questions but you (almost) never answer them yourself. Why is that? Are you affraid to show yourself? You come of like a very analytical person but that is not all you are. You hold back. It is like your analyses forms an armor you are hiding in, protecting yourself with? Why are you affraid of showing yourself more on the forums? People like you here a lot and they will not judge you or reject you! :hug:
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Thx Morgain. i usually don't answer my own questions, because i pretty much know what i think about the subject and i'm asking because i'm curious about what others think. And analyses allow me to exercise those aspects of myself i don't have the chance to engage everyday. I really enjoy analyses, it is a part of me usually hidden irl. So, it's the opposite actually. I'm not someone who shows or shares personal things. I don't think it's appropriate or necessary. And i'm sorry if it gives the impression i'm hiding . . . i guess it's a matter of perception.
 
Morgain said:
anyone can try me if you want but tell me what you really think and not what you think I would like to hear :D



Roger:

why do you want to improve yourself? It seems like your whole life is built around it, all your posts are about it. Learning to be a better person and by doing that you are very hard on yourself and you don't see the potential you allready have. You are trying to hard! For many years I have done the same. I wanted to become enlighted :D and I thought I had to become a better person for that, improve myself. I was wrong! I believe now that enlightement lies in acceptance. Accepting yourself the way you are, accepting the world, your life the way it is, liberates you. It opens you up for the potential you already have, for the goodness you already show, the possibilities that you have now. It opens you up to the here and now, to the messages of God, to the flow of the universe, to oneness... Why are you affraid to accept yourself the way you are?
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I accept myself fully as i am. But this damn language problem stops me to say so. I know, i have unlocked my potentiality. Still i don't think i have directed as it should be. You know, what i mean? I am looking hard because i am trying to let it out. Just this thing you look often.

See this thing: Whenever thing comes in my heart, comes in my mind, but when i go to transmit it into practical something stops me to do so. Here on this forum, VOCABULARY stops me. LANGUAGE stops me. Once these things are blended, i'll be satisfied and will not look as hard person.
 
Roger said:
I accept myself fully as i am. But this damn language problem stops me to say so. I know, i have unlocked my potentiality. Still i don't think i have directed as it should be. You know, what i mean? I am looking hard because i am trying to let it out. Just this thing you look often.

See this thing: Whenever thing comes in my heart, comes in my mind, but when i go to transmit it into practical something stops me to do so. Here on this forum, VOCABULARY stops me. LANGUAGE stops me. Once these things are blended, i'll be satisfied and will not look as hard person.
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I think MF should invest study/training/practice to improve the skills (musical) that will help him express/develop himself more.

The same for you - why don't you enrole in a "finishing school" type of thing, or a debating club, or travel overseas to immerse yourself in a language.

The best investment anyone can make is in developing who they are as a person, or how they can better express/understand themselves - Not training themselves to get a higher paying job.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
I think MF should invest study/training/practice to improve the skills (musical) that will help him express/develop himself more.

The same for you - why don't you enrole in a "finishing school" type of thing, or a debating club, or travel overseas to immerse yourself in a language.

The best investment anyone can make is in developing who they are as a person, or how they can better express/understand themselves - Not training themselves to get a higher paying job.
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Really?? Okay. I will talk to MF, will see what he says about this logical training to express my things.

I love music, so i hope he accepts my request. Even it will be better to discuss with him twice in a week. Depends on him.
 
Reon said:
If any of you know me well enough, I'm down. I'm always looking for ways to improve.
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In what areas would you like to have feedback?
 
I'm still down for any advice. Gotta go to work for 12 hours, so it'll be awhile before I can read it, though.
 
I help people to achieve their goals as my job and study personal development techniques in depth as a sort of obsession so if someone wants to be a bit more specific with what they want help with then I would be happy to help.

I can help with all kinds of things using NLP too.
 
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